Chapter Thirteen
J osh had never been skydiving before but he felt like he’d been pitched out the side of a plane without a parachute.
He was just falling, falling, falling .
And he wasn’t sure when he’d hit the ground.
Or how much it would hurt.
He hurried out of Faith’s house without so much as a goodbye or a wave in Amy’s direction. He had one singular focus, and that was to exit that kitchen before he looked Amy in the face and said completely the wrong thing.
A baby?
Amy was having a baby with a movie star. And not just any movie star. Tru McCoy. The blond, blue-eyed, ruggedly handsome cowboy of everyone’s dreams. Regardless of how it had ended, at one point, he’d been the cowboy of Amy’s dreams. Somehow putting a face and a name to Amy’s ex-fling made everything worse. That was the man who had dumped her to run off and marry someone else. That was the man who had hurt her.
He was also the man that had apparently knocked her up.
Josh massaged the ache between his eyes. It thudded in the middle of his forehead. Was this the weight of his anxious thoughts? Or was his head just coincidentally going to explode? It felt like a thousand thoughts were ricocheting around his brain, and Josh had no idea what he was supposed to do now. What was the right thing to say in this situation? He tried to imagine being in Amy’s position. The last thing he’d want was other people’s advice, and platitudes would feel hollow. Besides, how could he sit there and promise everything would be okay when he didn’t even know if that was something she wanted to hear?
Was she angry?
Scared?
Shocked?
Judging by the look on her face and the fact she’d broken down in tears, she wasn’t exactly happy about this, so he was certain congratulations probably wouldn’t go over well. But what else did you say when someone announced they were pregnant? He didn’t even know where to start. Besides wanting to knock some sense into Tru McCoy, he wasn’t sure he was the right man for the job.
What did he say now that the woman he lov—
Josh wrenched the door of his truck open. Leaving was for the best. He needed to screw his head on straight before it twisted off completely.
Josh climbed into his truck, backed down the driveway, and headed to the ranch, throwing himself into afternoon chores. By the time evening rolled around, he wasn’t any closer to knowing what to say to Amy. He let out a heavy sigh that rattled his lips, got back into his truck, and started driving.
What he wanted most of all was to be a loving, supportive boyfriend—because that’s what he was now, wasn’t he? They’d been tiptoeing around this thing, around these feelings, for weeks, and Josh sort of thought that after what Amy had said last night, things between them had gotten a lot more serious. And if that was the case, and he’d read the signs clearly, then he was as good as her boyfriend. And as her boyfriend, he wanted to know how Tru could have left her like this?
Clearly he was never serious about her, likely stringing her along the way only some big-time, sleazy Hollywood actor could. And though Josh didn’t know what it was like to have the father of your baby run off and marry someone else, he did know what it was to have his heart stomped on, so as torn as he was about the news, he was also sympathetic to what Amy was going through. And he was also a little ashamed of himself for just walking out on her.
Wasn’t that what Tru had done?
God, he was better than this. Josh pounded his fist against the steering wheel.
He was better. He was just… Scared? Worried? Completely out of his depth?
He knew things were different now. They’d changed the moment the words had left Amy’s mouth. He just wished he knew how they’d changed. Was everything that had happened between them meaningless now? Had all the moments and feelings and smiles and laughter been for nothing?
No , he reasoned. It didn’t need to be . Tru had left Amy. He didn’t want to be in her life. He’d chosen someone else. So this didn’t change anything.
But as soon as he had that thought, another question rose to the forefront of his mind. What if Tru didn’t want to abandon Amy once he found out she was having his child? Yes, he did just get married. And yes, he’d chosen someone else. But maybe becoming a father would force a change of heart. Maybe he’d come to his senses and see the error of his ways. He’d finally realize how wonderful Amy was and want to start this family with her.
And where did that leave Josh? Would he want to stand in Tru’s way if he decided he wanted to be a real father?
Yes! Josh’s heart shouted. A thousand times yes.
But that wasn’t the right answer. He’d never want to deprive Amy and her baby of the baby’s father. That was jealousy talking, and Josh knew he wasn’t handling this well. He’d walked out on Amy, he was jealous of Tru McCoy, and he really wanted a drink. That might not help him in the end, but it was the only real plan he’d come up with.
His eyes drifted down the road, past the shops on Central Avenue to the sign for the Tenacity Social Club. It was a former speakeasy turned gathering place in the basement of the building that housed the town’s post office and barbershop. Local musicians often performed, but Josh was most interested in the fact that he might be able to drown his sorrows there on a weeknight.
He turned into the parking lot, got out of his truck, and walked inside. It was a dimly lit space, filled with dark-stained tables. There were no televisions mounted to the ceiling here or craft brews on the menu, and Josh liked it that way.
He nodded to people he knew, which was practically everybody. Tenacity was small, but the crowd here was even smaller. The kind of place where everybody knew your name and your daddy’s name and your granddaddy’s. Josh didn’t know if he was quite in the mood to sit down and join any of them, so he opted to take a seat at the bar instead. The bar itself was an old wooden plank with lovers’ initials carved into it. It read like a who’s who of Tenacity, and Josh’s stomach turned thinking about Amy as his fingers brushed over the carvings.
“You look like you just got kicked by a horse,” Mike Cooper said as he offered Josh a beer from behind the bar. He was a fellow rancher who often moonlighted as a bartender. He was younger than Josh, with brown curls, and a kind smile. Mike had the kind of soft, sympathetic stare that often had Tenacity locals spilling their guts, especially after a few drinks.
Josh huffed a humorless laugh. “Sorta feels that way.”
“You know, this job’s made me pretty good at listening.” He took a couple glasses and filled them, passing them down the bar. “If you need an ear or just someone to bounce things off of, I’m not a bad option.”
Josh dipped his head. He appreciated the sympathetic ear, but he wasn’t about to spill Amy’s business all over town. In a place like this the news would spread like wildfire and the rumors would twist and turn until it was impossible to set people straight. The last thing Josh wanted was to chase Amy out of town.
He just sipped his drink and brooded. “Not sure talking it out is gonna help much.”
“That’s fair,” Mike said. “You can only talk around a problem so much. Sometimes you just need to take action.”
If only Josh knew what that action was.
He drank his beer, and his thoughts swirled worse than before. The drink likely wasn’t helping. He could go back to see Amy. Or at least call her. But after watching him walk away, would she want anything to do with him? And if he did call, what would he even say?
It was a stupid decision, but Josh told himself that another drink might help clear things up. He knew it was a lie but he could pretend for a few minutes. “I’ll take another when you’ve got a second,” he said to Mike, downing the last gulp and pushing his empty bottle back across the bar.
Mike handed him another beer on his way by with a tray of drinks destined for a table in the back. When Mike returned he started cleaning glasses.
“Do you ever think love can be hell?” Josh said.
“Figured that’s what you were in here about.”
“Isn’t that most of your patrons?”
Mike nodded. “It’s either love or land out here.”
Josh almost wished it were something to do with the ranch. He could handle that. Matters of the heart were so much more complicated. Just when he thought everything was going so perfectly, just when he thought that Amy might turn out to be the one , the universe charged in and wrecked it all. Maybe he really wasn’t suited for love. Maybe it was time he stopped looking for Mrs. Right or Ms. Right Now or Ms. Whatever.
Josh snorted. “It’s definitely not the land.”
“I didn’t think so.” Mike sighed. “I’m not a stranger to it myself, so I know that feeling.”
“Been there, done that?” Josh asked.
Mike winced, his mouth pulling into a tight line. “It’s really hard to find the right person, isn’t it?”
“It sucks.” Josh drained his beer. “Can I get another when you get a chance?”
“You can. But you’re gonna trade it for your keys,” Mike said, holding out his hand.
“Ah, right,” Josh said. If he was going to keep drinking, then he wasn’t going to be driving. He took the ring out of his pocket, slipped his key fob free and passed it across the bar. Mike dropped it in an empty glass fishbowl that sat on the counter behind him.
“You have someone you want me to call to come pick you up when you’re done with this one?” he asked, uncapping another bottle and sliding it to Josh. “Or with however many drinks you need to drown out your thoughts?”
Josh’s first thought was to call Amy, and he almost said as much. But that was selfish of him. He’d practically run out on her when he didn’t know what to say, and now what? He was going to ask her to come and get him? To drive him home because he’d drunk a few too many instead of talking to her? How pathetic.
“You know what, I’ll just call a taxi,” Josh said, rethinking his plan. The service, affectionately called the Tenacity Shuttler by locals, was operated by a few ranchers who moonlighted on the side for extra cash. And though Josh knew he still shouldn’t be behind the wheel, he could at least stay sober enough to call his own ride. “Do me a favor, and brew me a coffee too?”
Mike nodded. “Sure thing.”
Josh took out his phone. He was confused enough about how he felt about Amy, he didn’t need to leave here drunk. He opened his contacts and called the local taxi company. They picked up on the third ring. “Yeah, hi, this is Josh Aventura. I’m at the Tenacity Social Club and need a lift to 100 Juniper Road.”
Mike looked up when he ended the call. “Hey, how long have you lived out on Juniper Road?”
Josh laughed and shrugged. “My whole life.”
“Are there any rocks on Juniper Road?”
Josh looked at him funny. He’d just asked about rocks, right? He hadn’t had that much to drink. “Plenty of them. Why?”
Mike shrugged. “It’s probably nothing, but… When you were a kid, did you know Barrett Deroy?”
“Yeah, I knew of him.” Barrett had left town about fifteen years ago with his family under a cloud of suspicion following the ‘incident’. He was accused of stealing the thousands of dollars from Tenacity Town Hall meant to restore the Tenacity Trail. Town was never the same, and most people still blamed him for how rundown Tenacity had become in recent years. “Barrett was friends with Brent Woodson, who lived on one of the neighboring ranches.”
Mike frowned. “Brent Woodson, as in Mayor Woodson’s son?”
Josh nodded. He was very confused. Why were they talking about rocks and Barrett Deroy? As far as he remembered, when Barrett’s family fled, they were persona non grata, and no one had heard hide nor hair from them since.
Mike leaned closer to him. “Does ‘Look Juniper Rock’ mean anything to you?”
Josh frowned. “Is that a real question or just something you do to mess with the customers?”
“Yeah, it’s a real question. ‘Look Juniper Rock,’” he repeated. “Is it ringing any bells?”
Josh thought about it for a minute and then said, “The Woodsons had a bunch of boulders at the edge of their property. The Stoolers live there now. Hasn’t changed much in that time, but I don’t remember the rocks being anything special. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to look at them.”
Mike took in his words, nodding along like everything Josh was saying was important. “Do you mind if I take a moment and call Diego Sanchez? Diego’s great-uncle has been doing some private investigating for Diego’s sister. She’s trying to track down the Deroy family. I think this might be a clue!”
“Huh… Well, be my guest,” Josh said. If Mike wanted to call Diego about some rocks, who the hell was Josh to stand in his way? Who the hell was he to anyone? He certainly wasn’t Amy’s husband or this baby’s father. He reached into his pocket for some money and paid his tab. “I’m gonna go catch my ride.”
Josh got to his feet as Mike turned away to make the call. No, he wasn’t a husband or a father, but in that moment, it shocked him just how much he wished he were.