Chapter Two
Book Club
Ella
“Let me get this straight,” Jada King says, standing in the middle of my floor, demanding our attention like she does in a courtroom. “His ass had the audacity to walk up into your house and demand that you not only attend his wedding, but do it with a fucking smile?”
“Jada, not in front of the baby,” Meagan teases, pointing to Kyra’s sleeping ten-month-old in the middle of my living room floor.
“Sorry, Kyra,” Jada says, only partly meaning it.
Jada has no filter. I can guarantee she will curse a lot more before the night is over.
“It’s okay,” Kyra replies in her soft voice as she rubs her baby girl’s back. “I agree with your sentiment.”
“I’m also with Jada on this one,” Destiny adds, placing her wine glass down on the table. She’s sitting in one of my accent chairs. “That’s some shady shi... stuff.” She catches herself at the last minute.
I push a stray hair off my forehead and sniffle. “As messed up as it is, he has a point.”
“Please explain this point.” Jada folds her arms across her chest.
I sigh. I’ve had plenty of time to think this over since Andrew left my house this morning.
“I have no doubt the boys are going to take this news hard. And I don’t want a repeat of those horrible six months before the separation.
They will feed off whatever Andrew and I give them.
If I’m angry or refuse to go to this wedding, they may start acting out again.
I will not watch my boys struggle with this. ”
“That’s very reasonable,” Pamela agrees, patting my knee in a comforting way.
As I said before, all the women in the book club are divorced. We met in a Facebook reading group a little over a year ago. The book we read was about a divorced woman finding love again, and all of us talked about how we enjoyed the book.
It was an even bigger surprise when we realized we all lived in the same city. That’s how the book club started. Six strangers who formed a sisterhood through heartbreak and books.
“Look, reasonable or not, it’s bullshit.” Jada tosses her long black hair over her shoulder.
“And what’s worse,” Meagan adds, climbing up from her seated position on the floor. “He knew you would go for it because you would do anything for your boys. He’s being manipulative.” She heads to the table to grab another cookie and pour herself another glass of wine.
“Well, hasn’t that always been Andrew’s MO?” Pamela asks.
They’re right. This has always been his thing. Making me agree with what he wants by some form of twisting my arm. You would think now that we’re divorced it wouldn’t work anymore.
“I don’t think I can go there and watch him marry my replacement.” My voice breaks as I stare down at my hands.
“Oh, Ella, sweetie,” Pam rubs my shoulder. Out of all of us, she’s the most loving. “Don’t think of her as a replacement. Think of her as...”
“Someone digging in your trash can,” Jada finishes for Pam.
“Jay,” Meagan chuckles lightly.
“Maybe that’s what he wants.” Destiny tosses one of her long passion twists back over her shoulder. “He wants you to feel lonely and like you're being replaced.”
“Do you think he would be that cruel?” Kyra asks.
She’s the youngest of all of us. Only twenty-nine years old.
We all turn to look at her and at the same time say, “Yes.”
“Men can be petty little assholes,” Jada explains. “It’s wrapped up in their DNA.”
“Well, if that’s the case, the best way to get back at him is to show him you don’t care,” Kyra says, popping a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board into her mouth.
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“Wait,” Jada hums, holding up one of her hands. “The baby might be onto something.”
Kyra rolls her eyes at the nickname Jada gave her.
“You need to show Andrew that this little stunt he’s trying to pull doesn’t hurt you. We’re not giving him that satisfaction. You need to take a date to this wedding.”
“Ooh, good idea, Jada,” Meagan says, retaking her spot on the floor with a full glass of wine.
“But it has to be authentic,” Destiny adds, holding up a finger. “Someone you’re truly into. If not, Andrew will sniff out a fake relationship, and that will only make you look more desperate.”
I snort. “Please, like I’ll be able to find a date in six months.”
The girls grow silent.
“Why can’t you?” Pamela asks, turning her entire body in her seat to look at me.
I love the support I have from these women.
We’ve only known each other for a little over a year, but I feel like I’ve known them all my life.
They are all incredible and beautiful. Yes, Meagan and Kyra have kids, but Meagan practically lives at the gym.
And Kyra is tall like a model with her thin frame.
The other three don’t have kids, and although Pam would be considered plus-size, she still has that hourglass shape.
Big boobs and wide hips made her look balanced. I did not have that luxury.
“Look at me,” I say, running a hand down my body like I’m showcasing a prize on a game show. “I’m so out of shape and not in the right mindset to date.”
“Bullshit,” Jada says, and this time no one calls her out for cursing. “There is nothing wrong with your body, and you know it. Now your hair could use a little work. I’m going to set you an appointment with Jameel.”
My eyes widen. “Are you kidding me? I can’t afford Jameel.”
Jameel Washington is one of the best hairstylists in the city. His prices are through the roof, but he deserves to charge that much. His work is phenomenal.
“Girl please, like I’d let you pay for you it.” Jada finishes texting on her phone before placing it down on the arm of the couch. “I asked Kareem to get you in this week.” Kareem is Jada’s ex-husband and also Jameel’s fiancé.
“And after you get your hair done, I’m going to take you shopping.” Kyra claps excitedly.
Although she’s the youngest, she’s also a professional stylist.
“I love you, but I need to see you in something other than yoga pants and a big t-shirt.”
I look down at my attire.
Looking back at her, I shake my head. “I can’t afford a shopping trip right now either. Cam has baseball season coming up, and the kid is already growing out of his old clothes.”
Jada waves her hand through the air. “You’re not buying anything. Just like the hair, I’m funding the shopping trip.”
“And I’m helping.” Pamela holds her hand up.
Before I can say anything, all five women have volunteered to pay for me to go shopping.
“Ladies, as much as I appreciate it, I don’t think a new hairstyle and some new clothes are going to make a difference.”
They all look at me without speaking. I fidget in my seat, feeling as if they are seeing straight through me.
“Why don’t you tell us what this is really about?” Jada folds her arms across her chest.
“I just told you.” I toss my arms in the air.
Destiny reaches one of her henna-inspired tattooed covered hands out to me and places it on my knee.
“No. You’re making excuses because in reality, you’re afraid,” she says in that way that shows just how in tune she is with everyone.
“You’re afraid of putting yourself out there again and getting hurt. Trust me, Ella, we all were.”
My throat burns as I fight back tears. “It’s too soon.”
“It’s been a year and a half.” Jada rolls her eyes.
“Only six months since the divorce was final.” Even I can hear how lame that argument is.
Jada takes a seat on the coffee table in front of me. Her long legs have her knees touching mine.
“And in that six months, Andrew has not only dated, but gotten engaged. Look, I know what you’re waiting for.
” I blink rapidly, trying to keep the tears back.
“He will not change his mind, Ella. And he isn’t going to randomly figure out how wonderful of a woman you were.
Because I don’t care how perfect of wife you were, your perfection will never be validated by a man that doesn’t deserve you. ”
As always, Jada’s words are blunt but honest. I’ve been sitting around all this time waiting for Andrew to realize my worth and that I was good enough. But that won’t happen because maybe, though I loved him, he wasn’t meant to be my forever.
We read about forever relationships in books all the time. Women finding the man who is perfect for them, their other half. A love that is all-consuming and leaps off the pages to make you clutch your chest and shed a tear when things go wrong.
For the longest time, I’d read those books thinking love like that was a fairytale.
As real as the poisoned apple that nearly killed Snow White or the spinning wheel that took out Sleeping Beauty.
But what if it’s true? What if my forever is out there waiting for me, and I’ve spent years trying to make a man who was never mine love me?
Blowing out a deep breath, I say. “I guess it’s time I get back out there. Even AJ suggested it.”
They all laugh.
“Nephew is looking out for his mama,” Pam chuckles.
My laughter dies down. I swipe the rest of my tears from my cheeks. “I have to be honest, I’m still scared shitless about the idea of dating again.”
“Girl, we all were. And we all had to do it,” Meagan says.
“My first date after Amir was a huge disaster.” Pamela shakes her head before sipping her wine. “Every woman who walked past us, I felt like he was checking her out. I even blamed him for it. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance. He couldn’t drop me off fast enough.”
We all chuckle at her story. The only thing I know about her divorce from Amir was that he cheated on Pamela with her best friend.
“My first date after Jace was hard.” Destiny’s voice softens, and her eyes take on a sorrowful look.
“Wait, you’ve been on a date?” I ask, completely stunned by this revelation.
Although unfortunately I was still in love with my ex, there was no mistaking that Destiny was head over heels still in love with hers. If it had not been for his accident, they would still be happily married.
She nods her head. “I tried to move on. That’s what Jace wants, but I spent the entire date in tears. The guy went to the bathroom and never came back.”
Meagan snorts. “I had one of those, too. He left after I told him I had twin boys at home.”
“Okay, now y’all are scaring me for real.”
“Don’t get scared.” Pam pats my leg. “We’re just trying to let you know that we’ve all been through it. But we kept going because we deserve our happily ever after.”
“Damn right we do.” Kyra says. We laugh at her enthusiasm.
Once the laughter dies, I let out a deep sigh. “It’s been so long. How do I even find a date?”
“You’ll go out,” Pamela says beside me.
I scoff at the idea. Going out to clubs and bars looking for a man did not sound appealing to me. I think I’m too much of a homebody for that.
“Or, you can do like everyone else and set up a dating profile online.” Jada picks up her phone from the side of the couch. After a few taps and swipes, she hands it to me.
On the screen is a profile picture of her. Her gorgeous dark brown skin is glistening in the sunlight as she stands beside a pool in a two-piece. I scroll through the rest of her pictures, and they are all just as stunning.
“All of you have this app?” I ask looking at the surrounding faces.
“Yep,” Pam says, sliding me her phone.
“I’m on a few apps,” Meagan chuckles.
“Me too,” Kyra adds.
I hand Jada her phone back before grabbing Pam’s.
Her profile picture is one of her in a stunning cat suit that puts her curves on display.
Her wild auburn curls were blowing in the wind.
Both women’s pictures are stunning. If I were a guy surfing through profiles, I would definitely stop on theirs.
“I don’t even have a picture to post.”
“Lies,” Jada says. She picks up her phone and starts scrolling through it. She then stops and hands it to me.
There is a picture of me at one of our book clubs. My hair was down and swept to one shoulder. I had a playful smile on my face. The way the sun was hitting me, coupled with the lightness of my mood, made me look gorgeous.
“Don’t forget that picture on your Facebook when you had on that red dress,” Kyra adds.
Handing Jada back her phone, I let out a deep breath. I can’t believe I’m even considering this.
“I don’t even know where to start.” Leaning forward, I scrub a hand down my face.
“Well, honey, that’s what we’re here for. Let me see your phone?” Jada grabs my phone off the side table.
I quickly give her the passcode to unlock it. She taps a few times on the screen.
“Alright, we got you downloaded. Now let’s set up your preferences and profile. What are you looking for in a man?”
I thought for a moment, trying to summarize my type of partner in a few short words seemed daunting. But then I thought about what I really liked. Not what sounded right or made sense to others.
“Someone funny,” I knew that was important. I realized a while ago that I didn’t laugh enough in my marriage. I want to laugh this time.
“He also needs to be kind and doesn’t mind hanging out at home watching TV. He has to be good with kids, obviously. And I like a man that’s good with his hands. Oh, and he has to have a romantic side.” I list all the character traits I love.
The room is silent. I look around at all the stoic faces.
“What?”
“It’s adorable how simple you are,” Destiny says, cupping her hands to her heart.
“Andrew may never say it, but I’m telling you. He lost a good thing when he left,” Pam adds.
I can’t help the smile that lifts my face. I like to think that she’s right, that one day my ex will realize how good I was to him, but I doubt he will. Besides, he’s moved on to the next.
I really appreciated this sisterhood.
I smile at the ladies sitting in my small living room with me. I lost a lot of friends after the divorce, but finding these women has shown me that those people who pulled away from me were never really my friends. And in their absence, I was able to find sisters.