Chapter 5
Will
It’s just past midnight, and the night sky is draped in the kind of wispy clouds that soften the moonlight. Will should be tucked up in bed, but today is Nathan’s seventeenth birthday, so instead he’s skulking under his best friend’s window.
He checks his phone again, sends another message. Waits a few minutes before he gives up and calls.
Nathan answers with a yawn. “Will. Everything okay?”
“I’m outside. Come down.”
“Alright. Gimme a few minutes.”
Will tucks his phone back into his pocket.
It’s one of those summer nights when the heat creeps in and cuddles you too close, barely a breeze to be found. He’d stayed up reading, too hot to sleep, his window thrown open to the night air. When the clock crept past midnight, his phone vibrated with a reminder, and his plan swung into action.
Will pats his pocket, checking the gift that nestles there, safe and sound.
Nathan’s usually the one who turns up at his house in the dead of night, sneaking inside with a cheeky little smile that hides a whole world of insecurity.
They’ve had many late-night gaming sessions with the sound turned down low, side by side in the darkness.
Nathan’s found his way over a few times in the past month. Something’s bothering him, more than the usual consternation about his father’s opinions. Maybe a celebration will cheer him up. Just the two of them, hanging around while the world sleeps.
Nathan slips around the edge of the hedge, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, all dark colours. He leans in for a quick hug, thumping the back of Will’s shoulder in greeting. They set off, Will leading the way to the park.
“So, this is weird.”
“Is it weird to want to be the first to say happy birthday?”
Nathan stops abruptly, a sunny grin blooming across his face, his green eyes sparkling in the moonlight. He leans in to hug Will again, his skin clammy in the sultry air.
They walk the rest of the way in silence, conscious of the sleeping houses lining their route.
“The swings?” Nathan murmurs.
Will is only too happy to follow his lead; even if it weren’t his birthday, it would still be Nathan’s choice.
They vault over the low fence and into the playground, ignoring the locked gate. Nathan takes the swing on the left, Will lowering himself onto the one beside it. Nathan’s about to propel himself backwards when Will takes the joint from his pocket. He waggles it, one eyebrow raised.
“Who are you and what did you do with my Will?” Nathan asks, his eyebrows disappearing under the tangle of hair hanging over his forehead.
Will snickers. “One of the guys at work was selling them, I think his brother brought some weed back from uni. Thought this might be a good way to celebrate, try something new together.” He pulls a lighter from his pocket, passing it and the joint over to Nathan. “Birthday boy first?”
Nathan rolls his eyes. “Birthday boy makes a fool of himself coughing first, you mean.”
Will watches him as he sticks the joint into his mouth and lights it, the twisted paper at the end flaring briefly in the dark. As predicted, Nathan’s first toke prompts a coughing fit, the swing’s chains rattling eerily as he tries to catch his breath.
Will rescues the joint from his friend’s fingers before he drops it.
He inhales, the smoke curling hot and harsh in his lungs, managing to suppress the cough that scratches at his throat.
Nathan snatches the joint back with a quiet curse.
This time he inhales deep and smooth, tendrils of smoke escaping his full lips as he exhales.
They smoke until they hit the roach, until a wave of tranquillity crests and breaks gently over them.
Nathan is the first to move, setting himself swinging in slow, lazy arcs.
There’s another joint in Will’s pocket. He shows it to Nathan, watches the lazy smile that blossoms on his lips before he reaches over with greedy fingers.
It’s nice to see that smile. They’ve become so rare recently.
At some point he starts swinging himself, enjoying the whisper of air slipping over his overheated skin.
The sky is a deep, inky blue, cloud dappled moonlight brightening it just enough that the silhouetted trees at the edges of the park look like a painted backdrop.
It’s quiet, so quiet. The only sounds that reach Will’s ears are the soft squeaks of the seat beneath him and the quiet clank of the swing’s chains.
And his own breathing. It seems to grow deeper and more relaxed the longer he listens to it.
I feel like the whole world’s slowed down.
Will is soft with serenity. Full of appreciation for the beauty of the world around him, at once so familiar and so breathtakingly new.
He looks up at the clouds rippling their way across the sparkling sky.
The universe feels so big around them. Or maybe they’re just small, tiny ants marching around the world, full of pointless purpose.
His mouth feels thick and cottony. “How’re you feeling?”
Nathan doesn’t answer.
Will drags his gaze from the stars, a fuzzy bolt of worry flashing through his chest.
Nathan’s barely swinging any more, his feet dragging on the floor. There’s a soft, vague smile on his lips, freshly licked and gleaming like starlight.
“Okay?” Will reaches over, poking his friend’s arm where the dark T-shirt gives way to soft olive skin.
Nathan slowly looks towards him, starlit smile widening. “I feel… tingly.”
Will frowns. “Tingly…?”
Nathan nods, a giggle bursting from his lips. “Yeah. And… dreamy.”
“Dreamy.” Will’s frown deepens, considering the meaning of the word and how it sounds on Nathan’s lips. It feels right, but it would feel more right if they were somewhere soft. If they were lying in a cloud, or maybe on Will’s bed.
Nathan leans over and prods the crease between his eyebrows, another giggle bubbling free.
Will bats his hand away half-heartedly. “Nathan.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m hungry. I wish we had snacks.”
“Oh, me too. I wish we had cake.”
“Cake? Oh. It’s your birthday. I should have brought birthday cake. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to let you down.” Sadness overwhelms him briefly, floating away before he can wallow in it.
“It’s okay. You’ve never let me down.” Nathan pats his shoulder, his movements slow and deliberate. “It’s… okay. Hey… I have an idea.”
Will smiles. “Is it about cake?”
“Ha!” Nathan giggles again. “No, not about cake. You know how it’s really warm?”
Will had forgotten, somehow, that it was too warm, but the reminder draws his attention to the heat of his skin. “Yeah… It’s too warm.”
“Yeah. How about we swim in the pond?”
Will’s face feels strange, like he’s been smiling for hours. He belatedly realises that there is, in fact, a grin plastered across his face. “But… why? Why would we… go in the pond?”
Nathan shrugs. “Dunno. Air’s hot. Water’s cool.”
Will struggles to think of a reason why this is a bad idea. “Okay. If you want.”
They push off the swings, climbing clumsily over the fence and drifting over to the pond.
Their steps are languid and unhurried, every step taken with care in the moon soaked night.
It’s a nice pond, dotted with water lilies, full of ducks in the spring and frozen over in winter.
Kids throw scraps of bread into the water all year round, shaking empty bags over the surface to gift the crumbs.
Tonight, stars dance on the surface, reflecting the sky with mirror-like clarity. Will thinks he understands why Nathan wants to swim. It would be like swimming in the light of the moon and the stars, like bathing in the night sky itself.
He snorts at the overly flowery thought, not quite sure where it came from.
Nathan steps out of his shorts and pulls his T-shirt over his head, uninhibited, skin kissed silver. He steps from the soft green grass into the glassy water, sending ripples bobbing over the surface with each movement.
Swallowing is hard, his throat too dry and his mouth too wet. Will removes his own clothing and follows him in.
The water is deliciously cool, the contrast with the warm air gorgeous on his overheated skin.
He takes another few steps forward, literally following in Nathan’s wake.
His friend stands waist deep in the water, staring up at the stars, a thoughtful appreciation on his face.
He glows, a spectre, a vision, and Will can’t help but stare at him, transfixed.
“Will! I saw a shooting star! Or maybe a satellite.”
Feeling self-conscious, Will crouches low into the water and paddles slowly over to Nathan, who looks at him as if he’s invented some amazing new gadget that’s bound to change the world. He ducks down until his shoulders disappear, sighing softly as the water envelops him in its chill embrace.
They drift slowly for a while, until Will spots a shooting star or satellite of his own. “So many stars.”
Nathan turns, floating on his back, tendrils of overlong hair floating around his head like a dark halo. He looks so peaceful, lit by the night sky, drifting in the tranquil water. Will turns to float beside him.
“So many stars. There must be life out there, right?” Nathan supposes, talking to himself more than to Will. “Maybe there’s a planet out there with an alien Will and an alien Nathan, floating in a pond on an alien planet, staring at alien stars.”
Will giggles at the thought. “Aliens. Really?”
Nathan snorts back a laugh of his own. “Maybe! It’s important to be open minded. You never know what’s gonna happen.”
“I’m plenty open minded. Dunno about aliens, though.”
They lapse into a comfortable silence, floating side by side in the darkness.
“Thank you,” Nathan murmurs, his voice soft and dreamy. “Best birthday ever.”
Will lets his arm drift away from his side, his little finger bumping gently against Nathan’s.
Nathan curls his hand around Will’s and laces their fingers together.
Oh, Nathan. I wish… I wish…
They float, basking in the starlight, silence thick between them.
Eventually the sky starts to brighten, plumes of yellow and orange escaping the horizon. The hazy, giddy feeling scatters, replaced by benign sleepiness.
They’ll need to leave the sanctuary of the pond soon.
Will squeezes Nathan’s hand, heaving himself upright and trudging towards the edge of the pond, dragging his friend with him. “We better go.”
Nathan sighs heavily, letting Will tow him until the water becomes so shallow that he has to stand.
The morning air is already warming, the promise of a baking hot day ahead. Will’s hair drips pond water down his back, his sodden underwear sticking unpleasantly to his skin.
He retrieves his phone from his shorts and checks the time. It’s early. They could have stayed in the water a little longer.
The shorts drag on their way up his damp legs. The socks are alright, the parched grass drying his feet well enough. When he crouches to tie his laces, a damp chest drapes itself over his back.
Will shudders, brain short circuiting for entirely too many reasons.
“Sir William, you are the finest friend a knight could hope for.” Nathan winds his arms around Will’s neck, pressing even closer.
He yelps when Will springs upright, his thighs tightening around the bare skin of Will’s waist.
Thank fuck his shorts are back on. Thank fuck.
“I dunno why I did that,” Will muses, trying to keep his voice light. “Can’t remember the last time I gave you a piggyback.”
“Aha! Sir Nathaniel lost his faithful steed. It is only fitting that Sir William should step in.”
“Really?”
“Good horsie.” Nathan giggles, patting the crown of Will’s head.
“You’re still stoned, aren’t you?”
“How dare you accuse Sir Nathanial of being a lightweight!” Nathan gasps in mock horror. “Bad pony, bad. No apples for you.”
“You know what?” Will lets an evil grin creep over his face. “I’m kinda thirsty.”
Nathan snickers derisively. “Sir William has cottonmouth, does he? Lightweight. Some knight you are.”
“I’m a horse, remember?” Will starts moving, arms sliding under Nathan’s knees to support his weight. “You know where horses like to drink?”
Nathan shrieks as they pick up speed, skirting dangerously close to the pond’s edge. “No! I’m sorry. Sir William, forgive me!”
“Nay, Sir Nathaniel. Offence has been taken, and retribution shall be dealt in return!”
Will tips his cackling best friend headfirst into the pond, easily breaking his grip as his hands scramble for purchase on Will’s shoulders.
He does at least offer the bedraggled knight a hand, hefting him back onto dry land.
“Dick.” Nathan shakes his head like a dog, a spray of pond water splattering Will’s face.
Will grins at him triumphantly. “You love me.”
He leads the way back to their T-shirts, stooping to pick them up and tossing Nathan’s his way.
“Ah, Sir William. You’re lucky you know karate, or I would totally kick your arse.”
They walk together as far as they can before their routes home lead them in different directions, stopping at the tree that marks the fork.
“Thanks, Will.” Nathan speaks so softly Will can only just hear him, even in the star speckled silence. “I needed this. Things have been really rough with him lately.”
Will thinks of Nathan’s dad, so unrelenting in his plans when his son deserves nothing but comfort and care. “You know I’m here if you wanna talk, right? Whatever you need.”
Nathan’s smile is soft in the moonlight. “Yeah. See you tomorrow?”
“Well, today, really. See you later. And happy birthday.”
Will’s turning the corner into his road when his phone vibrates in his pocket.
It’s from Nathan. Two characters from one of their favourite childhood TV shows, one knocking the other over in an exaggeratedly fierce hug.
Will can’t help the smile that spreads across his face in response.