Chapter 23
Will
A few weeks later, Will stands on the pavement outside his flat, scanning the horizon for a red car and its adorable driver.
A small case sits by his feet, packed with clothes and supplies for a romantic weekend.
A few too many supplies, probably. The cottage is likely to have candles, maybe even nice bath oil for the gigantic roll-top bath.
I want to give him the world. Make it perfect for him.
A red blob appears in the distance, but it’s too big, resolving into the shape of a van as it approaches and drives past.
Will takes out his phone and checks the time.
Puts it back in his pocket and then pulls it right back out again, the time slipping so fast from his mind he’s not sure if it registered in the first place.
He laughs at himself, filled with an eagerness that’s been missing from every one of his past relationships.
This eagerness is hot, almost squirmy, nothing like the vague sense of anticipation he felt before.
Maybe it’s born of the remains of their bond, this connection. Or maybe it’s the tension that’s always been strung tight between them, yearning manifest into desire.
He reaches up, brushes his lips. Maybe it’s a new kind of tension, one that feels squirmy somewhere else entirely, the product of going so far and no further, the sweet agony of pulling themselves back from what they both so clearly want.
The past few weeks have been the teenage years they never had, as Nate put it. Rolling around on Will’s bed one night, and on Nate’s the next. Kissing until they were breathless, exploring each other’s bodies with hands and mouths, foregoing meals in favour of an endless banquet of pleasure.
He knows what Nate looks like at the height of it now.
Knows the timbre of his moans just before he reaches his peak, the frustrated gasps he makes when Will pulls him back from the edge.
They’ve delighted in teasing as much as touching, learning how to draw out their pleasure until one or both of them is desperate for release.
It’s been difficult, so difficult to stop short of the full extent of their desire, but Will has a plan for Nate’s first time, for their first time.
And I won’t settle for anything less than perfection.
If he’s honest, it’s a plan that formed years ago, just after they bonded, that first night when the euphoria hadn’t yet been crushed by fear.
Staring up at the ceiling, phone resting on his chest, Will had imagined their first time and made a plan.
A naive plan, of course, a thoroughly teenage plan; hotel room, fizzy wine, rose petals strewn over the bed.
He always wanted to give his Nate romance. Even more so, knowing the extent of his inexperience. Romance became a need, not just a desire.
A red car pulls up to the curb beside him, breaking his reverie.
Nate jumps out of the car and straight into Will’s arms. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” Will tugs him closer, mildly irritated by the puffy winter coat separating them before his lips make contact with Nate’s. “I’m so sorry it’s taken this long to get time off.”
“It’s okay.” Nate grins up at him, eyes sparkling with the joy of a man who knows he’ll soon get everything he’s been waiting for. “Ready for a long drive?”
“Yeah, but promise me we can stop for coffee on the way.”
“Of course we can.” Nate pulls him in for another kiss before he stoops to grab Will’s case. “If you’re tired, nap. I don’t mind.”
“I’d rather spend three hours talking to you, but I might. Something about being a passenger makes me sleepy when I trust the driver.”
Luggage stowed, they clamber into the car.
The city flashes past and then melts away, the space between buildings stretching out until they give way to frozen fields.
They stop for coffee and hot chocolate, sandwiches and bags of sweets, mingling hand in hand with crowds of tired travellers at a motorway service station.
Nate nestles a bag of jellybeans between them in the car, pushing a yellow one between Will’s lips before they get going. They remind him of Dimi, the waggle of his eyebrows when he found out what Will was doing with his time off, the memory enough to stretch his smile a little wider.
The motorway rolls on and on, dark tarmac and white lines framed with the stark slashes of wintering trees, the sky clouded over all the way to the horizon.
Will feels consciousness slipping away from him. He reaches for it and holds tight, trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head even as they blurrily build again.
He wakes up with a crick in his neck. Even through his sleep-sodden eyes it’s clear that the road is narrower, bumpier, trees and bushes crowding in tight.
“Shit, sorry. How long have I been asleep?” Will reaches up, rubbing his eyes until they clear. Surprise jolts through him at the sight of fine flakes drifting through the air. “It’s snowing!”
“Yeah, it started about twenty minutes ago. You’ve been asleep for about an hour, and no need to be sorry, I don’t mind at all.” Nate reaches over, squeezing his thigh reassuringly.
Will covers Nate’s hand with his own, squeezing back as he gazes out of the window, full of childish wonder. “I love snow. It makes everything feel magical.”
“Remember that time I knocked you over with a snowball?”
Will chuckles. “Yeah. I was so surprised. Didn’t think you had it in you to throw that hard. I got you back, though.”
“And then some. One snowball was nothing compared to all the snow you shoved down my back. I’ll get you back someday.”
Minutes pass before Nate speaks again. “My dad called while you were sleeping.”
Will steals a glance, glad to see Nathan's face still relaxed, pensive. “Oh?”
“Yeah. He… it's getting better, I think. Between us, I mean. He hasn't asked me to come back to work since before, you know?”
A smile grows on Will's face, full of pride. Nate’s boundaries are a little less absolute these days, and while he still holds his father at arms length, he no longer pushes him away.
“He still hints,” Nate continues. “Told me today that they've never been busier. The veterans are really trying to get to the politicians. Lots of work coming in.”
“Are you worried about Emily?”
“A little. Her team’s been expanded. And hopefully it's clear she's well protected, now.”
Will frowns, reading the concern behind Nathan's words. “Would you go back if she asked?”
“No.” Nate's answer is firm and immediate. “And she would understand why. My life’s finally where I want it to be.”
They lapse into a comfortable silence, admiring the steadily falling snow in the muted afternoon light until Nate’s phone interrupts with directions. They turn off the road, following a short track to a pretty stone cottage nestled in a clearing in the forest.
“Wow,” Nate murmurs.
A little of the nervous tension in Will’s belly eases. It looks just as perfect as it did online, the windows glowing with cosy light. “Home for a few days.”
The space behind the front door is even better than the photos. The walls are exposed stone, the wooden floors covered in thick colourful rugs. A plush velvet sofa sits before a fireplace already stacked with wood, an archway leading to a kitchen and dining room beyond.
It’s cosy and romantic. Will can already picture them snuggled up on the sofa in front of a crackling fire.
“Will, this place is gorgeous. Are you sure you don’t want to split the cost?” Nate’s voice carries a hint of guilt amongst the admiration.
Will gathers him up in his arms, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. “No, my treat, I want to spoil you. Let’s bring the stuff in?”
“Okay. I need to get started on dinner.”
When the car has been emptied, Will eyes the cooler bag on the kitchen counter with interest. “What are we having that you need to start so early?”
“I’m making a beef shin ragu and serving it with tagliatelle.” Nate unzips the bag and lines his ingredients up carefully, surveying them nervously as if to check they’re all present. “I brought champagne. It’s only a cheap one, but I hope it’ll be nice.”
“It’ll be perfect. Are you making fresh pasta?”
“Uh… I bought some fancy dried stuff from an Italian deli. Close enough?”
“Hey.” Will steps in close, cupping Nate’s face in both hands and brushing a slow kiss over his lips. “I’m honoured you’re cooking for me. I’ll love whatever you make, I promise.”
“As long as it’s not boiled rice?” Nate winks.
Will laughs and kisses him again. “As long as it’s not boiled rice. Can I help?”
“No, you’ll just distract me. Go relax.”
“Alright, I’ll take our bags upstairs and explore.”
The bedroom turns out to be everything Will could possibly hope for.
A large roll-top bath sits under a window that looks out into the woods.
He can imagine sunset kissed light streaming in on a clear evening, but tonight it’s muted, softened by the falling snow.
There’s a ribboned bottle of oil on the window ledge, a welcome gift that smells of cedar and rose, comforting and earthy.
They could bathe together, later on, bask in the scent and the moonlight, skin against skin.
A door leads off to a compact bathroom with a walk-in shower, plenty of towels stacked up on the counter by the sink.
He turns the shower on, pleased to find the spray powerful and immediately warm.
An image pops into his mind, Nate pressed up against the cool white tiles, head thrown back as Will kisses his neck through rivulets of warm water.
He laughs at himself and walks back into the bedroom. The enormous bed gets barely a glance, cutting his teenage imagination off before it can latch onto a new scene.
Downstairs, Nathan is hunched over a pot, stirring the contents carefully and muttering to himself. Will slots himself against his back and wraps his arms around his waist, leaning around to kiss his temple. “Smells great.”
“Thanks. It needs to simmer gently for a couple hours, apparently.” Nate taps the spoon on the edge of the pot and leans back into the embrace, dark hair tickling Will’s chin. “What could we possibly do for a few hours? Any ideas?”
“Oh, I’m sure we can think of something.” Will nuzzles into his neck, leaving a trail of tiny kisses below his ear. He knows exactly what Nate is asking for, but he has a plan, and it requires a slow seduction. “How about… a snowball fight?”
He can nearly hear Nate roll his eyes. “How about we go to bed?”
“Later. We’ve got the whole evening. All night.”
Nate turns around, pulling him closer by his hips, an exaggerated pout draped over his lips. “Will.”
“Nate. My love.” As expected, the pout is replaced by the sweetest of smiles. “Romance, remember? There’s no rush.”
He sighs heavily, lips rearranged back into a pout.
I’ll never get enough of the feeling of your lips against mine.
Will crowds him against the counter, pressing his body against Nate’s.
Two fingers under his chin to lift his face to meet him, lips drawn together in a velvety brush that starts slow and then deepens.
The fire between them builds, burning brighter as their mouths move together, a promise of what’s to come.
Nate’s hand slides up the curve of his back, fingertips digging into his shoulder blade as he tries to pull him closer.
Don’t rush this. Make it unforgettable. The best night he’s ever had.
Will pulls back. “Come out into the snow with me? It’ll be magical.”
Like you. Like us.
Outside, the last of the winter daylight catches on the falling flakes. The ground is dusted with a thin layer of snow, the kind that crunches beneath your boots without slowing your steps.
They don’t walk far, cutting a wide arc around the cottage and avoiding going too deep into the woods out of respect for the approaching darkness.
There’s so much to enjoy: the cold tingles kissing his skin before they melt away into nothing, the way the snow dances in little flurries stirred by the breeze. The warmth of Nate’s hand in his.
“Hey.” Nate stops in the striped shade of a sprawling tree, the fading light painting his face in shadows.
“Thanks for bringing me here. You didn’t need to give me romance, but this…
I feel like we’ve come full circle, you know?
All we need is a bench, a pond and some hot chocolate and it’ll be like our first kiss. ”
Will steps closer, taking both of Nate’s gloved hands in his own. “Kind of, but… better? When you kissed me, when we bonded, I was elated, but I wondered if I deserved you. Strong, beautiful, Gifted Nate.”
“You do. You did then, and you do now. I never thought about it when I was falling in love with you, you know. The fact you were a Blank. You were always just… my Will.”
“I thought about it enough for both of us.” Will feels a smile tugging at his lips, the product of Nate’s unshakeable faith in him and his newfound faith in himself. “You know what, though?”
Nate gazes up at him, the whole world in his eyes. “What?”
“Now I know I’m Gifted too… I finally understand it. I understand you.” Nate’s eyebrows raise in confusion. “You always wanted to be more than your Gift. I knew that, but I didn’t really understand it.”
His eyes crinkle in a smile that Will can’t help but reflect back at him. “There’s more to people than whether they’re Gifted or not.”
“And there’s more to life than Gifts. I may be Gifted, but it’s such a small part of who I am. Of who I’ve been so far, and who I’ll be in the future.”
“My Will,” Nate whispers. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Will pulls him close, burying his face in the thick waves of Nate’s hair, inhaling the scent of him, rich with nostalgia and promise. “I love you. I always will.”
They walk back to the cottage, the warm light spilling from its windows a siren song, guiding them home.
Will lights the fire while Nate goes to check on dinner, returning with the bottle of champagne and two glasses.
Glass chimes in a quiet toast to the future.
Comfortably sprawled on the velvet sofa, they gaze into the lambent flames, the combined warmth of the fire and their closeness seeping into their skin.
Nate trails his fingers over the butterflies on Will’s forearm, and Will answers with a kiss pressed through his T-shirt to the matching one over his heart.