Chapter 48 Chloe
"Why are you packing?" Chloe asked, stepping into the room. She’d gone out for breakfast, and for a second, she looked like any other woman on a morning run—bright, fresh, and finally unburdened.
I had thought about just leaving and telling her over the phone, but I wasn't that much of a coward. I couldn't do that to her.
"My job is done," I said, folding a shirt and shoving it into my bag with clinical precision. "Your money is in your account. The threats are gone. You're safe."
"What job? Killian, why are you talking like that?"
I stopped and looked her in the eye, the weight of the last month sitting heavy between us. "Because for fourteen years you were a prisoner. Then you were my responsibility. You haven't been your own person yet, Chloe."
"I'm myself when I'm with you. I want you." Her voice was rising, that raspy edge coming back.
"No," I said, stepping toward her until I could smell the vanilla on her skin. "You think you want me because I'm the one who opened the door. That's not a relationship, Chloe. That's a reflex. I'm not going to be the next thing that keeps you from a real life."
"You're pushing me away."
"I'm giving you the world." The words came out sharper than I meant, vibrating in the small space of the hotel room. "Go to Paris. Go to Africa. Get a boyfriend. Figure out what you like when I'm not around to decide for you."
"I don't want to go without you!" she yelled. She stepped into my chest, shoving her finger hard into my sternum. "You think you're being so goddamn noble. Aren't you scared? Aren't you terrified that I won't come back to you? That I'll find someone else?"
"Yes."
The word was out before I could stop it. A raw, jagged admission.
"Yeah. I'm scared." I let out a short, dry laugh that had no humor in it. "I'm terrified, actually. Every goddamn day."
She went still, her finger still pressed against my heart.
"You think this is easy for me? Sending you away?
" I reached out and pulled her closer, my hands gripping her waist like I was trying to anchor us both.
"I've been in war zones that scared me less than the thought of you without me.
I've looked down the barrel of a gun and felt calmer than I do right now, standing here, trying to do the right thing. "
Her eyes were wet, a single tear tracking through her makeup.
"So yeah," I whispered, my thumb brushing her jaw. "I'm scared you won't come back. I'm scared you'll find some guy your own age who doesn't have a soul as dark as mine. Someone who doesn't wake up sweating from nightmares about people you'll never have to meet."
I let my hand fall, the loss of contact feeling like a physical blow.
"But I'm more scared of what happens if you stay. I don't want you to wake up in five years and realize I was just the first man who was nice to you. I don't want to be the guy you settled for because you didn't know there were other options."
I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. I didn't turn around. I couldn't.
"Go live, Chloe. You have Elara now. She’s your sister—she won’t let you down." I paused, my hand on the cold brass of the knob. "And if you still want me when you've had some experience under your belt... when you've seen what the world has to offer and you still think I'm the best part of it..."
I finally looked back at her. She looked so small in the middle of that expensive room, but her eyes were fierce.
"You know where to find me. I'm not going anywhere. But I'm not going to be the reason you never spread your wings."
I walked out. The click of the door sounded like a gunshot, and for the first time in my life, I felt like the one who’d been hit