~ 14 ~
Rona
I was in my living room watching in awe as Lily was talking on live television in the open-air studio at Wembley stadium.
England were playing Denmark to qualify for the World Cup.
She was excellent. The camera loved her.
She spoke so passionately, and you would never know she wasn’t one hundred percent on board with a career in football commentary.
I couldn’t speak as articulately and confidently as that under pressure.
It was a real skill that Lily had. She was authentic and inspiring.
I still couldn’t believe that this amazing woman was now my girlfriend.
We’d decided this during a romantic walk in the park holding hands.
It felt almost silly to say it out loud because our connection was already so strong.
Labelling it was both retrospective and deeply rewarding to take the next step.
I was glued to the television and didn’t take my eyes off her once.
“These players have given everything tonight and they got the job done, and for that, we should all be proud. World Cup, here we come!”
We’d been seeing each other nearly every day for over a month.
We cooked and ate together. We slept together most nights.
We were having so much sex I was starting to feel like it was my new favourite hobby.
Things were moving fast. Her being away this afternoon was tougher than it should have been.
I missed her even though we were only spending less than a day apart and I’d be seeing her tonight in the pub with everyone.
I was risking being late for it if I didn’t start getting ready soon.
I overcompensated and arrived early before anyone else was even here. Lily texted saying she was a few minutes away.
My chest felt tight. Everyone was coming – Nell, Vicky, Mathilde, Bouchra, Kaira, Oscar and Jacob.
I couldn’t wait to introduce Lily to the boys as they hadn’t met her before, and to be out in the world with Lily as my girlfriend.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it.
I really had not planned to get into another relationship so soon after Becca, but what Lily and I had was special.
That old cliché of love finding you when you weren’t looking was feeling very true.
I didn’t know if it was love yet, but I loved spending time with her and I felt very safe with her.
I loved who she was and I trusted her. The sex was amazing.
Things were out of this world good in that department.
I knew I was in something deep, and that I cared about her very much.
But love? That was something different altogether.
I didn’t believe it was possible to truly know someone so soon, it had only been a couple of months, no matter how much time you spent with them.
We were clearly in the infatuation, addicted, head over heels phase, and I was impressed by my self-awareness, but whether or not this was real love yet was still a question for me.
I wouldn’t dare say it to her unless it were true.
That’s why I needed tonight and our soft launch to our friends.
I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Like the noise in my head was too loud and cluttered for me to make sense of things.
Lily hadn’t suggested we meet her friends yet either, so there was that.
I was trying not to get too in my head about it that she hadn’t made plans for it yet.
But tonight was an important step for us, and for me.
Did we fit in the world together? Or were we a holiday romance that would fizzle out at the first signs of real life?
Lily came through the door in exactly the same clothes as she’d been wearing on TV and which she’d left in this morning. It was like seeing a celebrity off the television in real life.
Her eyebrows lifted the moment she spotted me.
She even had a sexy walk, there was no other way to describe it.
She kissed me without saying anything. It was just a peck on the lips, but she had this way of lingering for a second longer than necessary that made me want more.
Her breath tasted of alcohol though, which I hadn’t expected. When had she gone for a drink?
“Hey, you,” she said, her eyes smouldering.
I leaned towards her. “You did great today.”
Lily’s smile reached her eyes. “Thanks. I really enjoyed it.”
“How are you feeling about this?”
She held my eyes now. I saw no hesitation in hers. “More than ready.”
I’d told everyone by text that Lily and I were dating.
Everyone was happy about it. I still wondered how they were going to be in person.
They all knew how heartbroken I’d been not that long ago.
Did they really approve of me being with Lily?
Or were they worried that she was dangerous given her celebrity status or something?
All I knew was that I wanted their support and I wanted to explore this new relationship with Lily.
Our friends arrived and drifted into our corner of the pub. One side of the table had an L-shaped seat built into the corner of the wall and the other side had a number of small circular stools. The pub was busy but we still had plenty of space.
I introduced Oscar and Jacob to Lily. Lily got a round of drinks in for everyone.
Oscar and Jacob both nodded in approval at Lily when she left for the bar.
Bouchra and Kaira were looking across the table at me like proud parents.
Nell was texting someone, glancing up occasionally.
“Congratulations, Rona,” Vicky said. “Lily’s a keeper. I hope you treat her right!”
“I hope you said that to Lily, too,” Mathilde said.
“Oh I did. I sent her a big email warning her not to break Rona’s heart. After what she’s been through, I’m not taking any chances.”
“Guys,” I said, interjecting. “You don’t need to worry. We’re great.”
“It’s true. I’ve hardly heard from her in over a month,” Oscar said, pouting slightly. “Don’t forget your pals when you get a new fuck-friend, Rona. It’s friendship 101.”
Everyone was looking at me. I felt cornered, literally and emotionally.
Lily came back with a tray full of pints of beer.
Thankfully, people picked up their conversations, and it shouldn’t have been obvious to Lily we were all dissecting our relationship.
I watched as she smiled and laughed, and took up a stool beside Oscar and Jacob, besotted by everything about her.
“I haven’t seen you much lately either,” Nell said, beside me, following my gaze.
I had been neglecting her. I felt terrible about it. “I’m sorry. It’s been very intense.”
Nell nodded. “It’s okay. I knew you were busy.”
“No, it’s not. I should have kept in touch more. I just disappeared and that sucks. But I’m back now.”
“You’re resurfacing from your lesbian sex den. I get it.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“You two are like magnets around each other. The sexual energy is radiating off you both like fire.”
I fidgeted with my hands, feeling like an open book.
“How is it going with her, really?” Nell gave me that look which said only a genuine answer would do.
“Honestly, it’s so good. I’m so happy. She’s amazing. We have such a deep connection.”
“I’m happy to hear that. You guys were like bitches on heat around each other in Greece so I’m glad it’s developing into something real.”
“We were?”
“How often do you see each other?”
“Every day, pretty much.”
“It sounds serious.”
“It is.”
“How are things otherwise? How’s it going with Flavia Milan?”
“We’ve paused for now. She’s working through some stuff at the moment, but we’re going to pick up again soon. With that being on hold, I’ve been writing again. It’s stuff for my own collection.”
“That’s wonderful. What’s the vibe?”
“Falling in love.”
“I wonder why. I bet it’s great.”
“Do you want to come over soon and I can play it for you? There’re some sections on the bass I can’t quite nail and could use your help.”
“I’d love to.”
After this short chat with Nell, we spent some time catching up with Bouchra and Kaira debating whether or not Kaira’s new boss was a narcissist. She was the sweetest, nicest, gentlest person on earth so to hear that some asshole micromanager was giving her a hard time over nothing made me mad.
“I can handle it,” Kaira said, quietly. “I just need to be more assertive. I just need to learn how to stand up for myself.”
Bouchra stroked Kaira’s forearm, forlornly. It was likely she had been trying to help Kaira with this for a while and was feeling helpless. “You could always just leave.”
“Have you tried telling her to fuck off?” Nell asked.
“I can’t do that. That’s not how it works. It’s fine, really.”
“You know we support you, whatever you choose to do with this,” Bouchra consoled. “And we love you. I love you. Just promise me you won’t dim your light because of a bully.”
“I won’t,” Kaira said.
I wanted to march around to wherever this micromanager lived and kick their arse.
I’d always had a strong sense of justice and at times when I was a child, it had got me into trouble.
On this occasion, however, I knew that supporting Kaira to come out of this with her confidence intact or even boosted, was the ultimate goal. Taking over wasn’t the solution.
It got me thinking though. Had I run away from the online bullies and the haters from when I was in the band? I’d solved the problem by no longer touring and playing live music. Was that a real solution?
“You’ve got to put up some boundaries,” Nell stated.
“Like what?”
Nell grimaced. “Well if you can’t tell her to fuck off to her face, you could calmly tell her you appreciate constructive feedback about your work not personal attacks. Inform her of what a good boss should do, and where she’s falling short.”