Chapter 13
Thirteen
Emory
“Hey,” Enoch greeted with a head nod as he reached for my hand and pulled me up the last step.
“What is she doing here?” Jae asked Enoch.
“She’s here to eat dinner,” Enoch said matter-of-factly.
My palm was sweaty, and I attempted to slip it from his grasp, but he laced his fingers with mine.
Is that what we’re calling this? I was thinking more like kidnapping or emotional manipulation.
“If you don’t want to eat with us, that’s fine, but I expect you to show her the same respect as you would me. ”
Jae scoffed and gave me a knowing look, his head cocking to the side as he stared at me. “What’s your goal here, Shiloh? Because it’s clearly not to do what’s best for Enoch. So, what? You here to fuck him over twice?”
Enoch gently squeezed my hand. “Jae,” he said with a level of calm no one else in the room had, “I already know you went behind my back and told Shiloh she was the reason for my drinking problem. I don’t want to argue with you right now.
This is between you and me, and we can talk about this later. ”
“Fuck that,” Jae spat, lip curling. “I’m not going to apologize for trying to protect my brother. And frankly, if you can’t see how bad of an influence she’s going to be, I’m not above telling your parents about your ‘drinking problem’ if that’s what it comes down to.”
“Seriously, Jae. You need to calm down.”
“Calm down?” Jae laughed with disbelief.
He stared at Enoch with so much tension he was practically vibrating.
“Who slept in your bed for months, forced you to eat, to shower? Who smacked some sense into you when you were at risk of breaching your contract with the Air Force because you weren’t going to graduate?
Who continued to reach out to you for years, despite you pushing everyone away? ”
Enoch stiffened.
“Who did you call when you thought you were getting arrested? When you thought you might get discharged from the service? When you decided to get sober? When you were in withdrawal, having panic attacks and so sick you could barely walk?”
Jae’s eyes shone with tears as his voice cracked.
He wasn’t just angry. He was scared. Scared for Enoch.
And my stomach filled with a lead weight.
The emotion in Jae’s face had me on the brink of tears.
Jae was hurt too, and yet he was only thinking about Enoch.
Thinking about protecting him, like I’d asked him to do when I left them.
“Who was there to help you pick up the pieces when you relapsed the first time, the second time? Me. Me, dammit. Your blood. Your brother. I will always be there for you, no matter what. But this?” Jae shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “No. I won’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself for someone who doesn’t deserve you. ”
Enoch squeezed my palm, and I turned my attention to him as he took a deep breath.
“You are my brother. And I can never, ever thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.
Okay? But I do not understand why you’re so convinced she’s a bad influence.
I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in almost a year.
And I haven’t even had the urge to. I’ve been nothing but annoyingly happy since she’s been back in our lives. ”
“Happy? You’ve been stressed out of your damn mind!
She’s been screwing with your head for two weeks now.
She’s not a good person,” Jae nearly shouted with exasperation, making me jump.
Enoch released my hand to pull me into his side, a possessive hold on my hip.
“We have no idea what she did for that gang, or what she’s been doing the last four and a half years. ”
“That’s irrelevant now,” Enoch said with a firm confidence that I didn’t understand. “I don’t care what she did or didn’t do.”
“She could have killed people for all we know,” Jae pressed.
My jaw slackened. I could feel the color draining from my face as the words left Jae’s mouth, and I involuntarily leaned into Enoch’s body for support, afraid I’d fall backward down the stairs.
I flicked my gaze to backpack, the weight of the gun suddenly ten times heavier.
Enoch was silent for a moment before quickly shaking his head, his fingers pressing into my skin. “Why the hell would you say that?”
“Because that’s what they do,” he laughed, sardonically. “The things Rosa told me she’d overheard and witnessed would make you shit yourself.”
“I don’t…there’s no—”
“You spoke to Seb’s mom? About me?” I asked with a little too much fear in my voice. If Jae involved Seb and his mom I was going to throat-punch him again.
“Not about you. About the gang. Los Siete,” he spat with a sneer. “And believe me, she was very enlightening when I asked her for information about them. I didn’t even have to give her a reason for my interest. She was more than happy to rant and warn me about what they’re capable of.”
I forced myself not to wilt with relief that he hadn’t exposed me to Seb’s family.
“You really don’t care what she did?” Jae demanded Enoch, pointing his finger at me. “I didn’t hear her fucking deny it, Enoch!”
Enoch looked down at me, brown eyes sincere. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
I cannot do this. I cannot do this.
I ripped my hand out of Enoch’s taking a step backward down the stairs. I pushed through the boulder trying to strangle the breath out of my lungs. “No, he’s right. I wasn’t just an innocent bystander, Enoch. I was…I was in the gang, a member of it.”
Enoch’s brows rose high, and his lips parted, before he shook his head. “Okay. So?”
Shame rocked my queasy stomach. I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, wishing I was anywhere else. He must have seen it on my face, because before I could turn and bolt, Enoch snatched the backpack from hands.
I nearly choked on my saliva as I watched him shake it.
“Don’t!” I shouted, reaching for it, but he stepped out of reach and raised a brow.
“You want this back? Hmm?”
I was panting, unable to catch a breath at the thought of him finding and taking away my solution.
“Please,” I whispered, holding his stare.
“I told you I’d prove to you that the past wouldn’t change my feelings. So, test me. Tell me what’s so bad that you’re so desperate to leave, but not desperate enough to run out without this backpack.”
I released a shaky breath, flicking my eyes to Jae who had settled onto the sofa to watch. He gestured for me to go on, a smug look on his face. My jaw clenched, my heart hammering, as I realized there would be no going back from this.
I climbed the final step of the stairs, stepping around Enoch into the living room.
I eyed the couch and quickly decided against it, instead, pulling out a stool from the kitchen island to position myself across from the couch.
Enoch attempted to grab another stool to sit beside me by I shook my head.
He grimaced before walking to the fireplace and leaning against the mantle with a frown.
“So?” Jae pressed. “Let’s hear it. How’d you end up a member of a gang, Shiloh?”
I drew in a deep breath before letting it all out—the secrets that had been eating me alive since I’d known them.
“First, it was just a test. Something to show them they could trust me to follow directions.”
“What kind of test?” Jae asked, his face still a hard mask of hatred.
“I blackmailed a judge. I think.”
I chanced a glance at Enoch who seemed to be studying the coffee table. It was probably for the best that I didn’t catch his eyes. I didn’t want to see the disappointment.
“You think?”
I sighed, fidgeting with the ends of my hair distractedly. “It was either blackmail or a bribe. I was just the messenger.”
Jae waved for me to continue, Enoch still silent, so I carried on.
“The initiation was twofold. They compared it to communion. Said I would be reborn into the family. But I had to give them flesh and blood.”
Jae’s face twisted into a grimace. “So, you got beat up?”
“No,” I shook my head. “If I wasn’t weak and a female, I would have been tortured. But I am. So…instead of seven minutes of torture…” I steeled myself against any emotions threatening to fill my voice, “I had seven men use my body.”
Enoch looked up at me suddenly with a wrecked expression, mouth gaping in shock, and I dropped my eyes to my lap.
Fuck.
I stared at the backpack he’d placed by his feet. Was getting my gun back really worth all this? I could always find another way to do it.
“So, you got fucked into the gang?” Jae scoffed.
A moment of silence passed before his eyes went wide. “Hold up. When was this? Before we met you?”
“No,” I mumbled. “The night we had that first sleepover at Enoch’s.”
Jae scoffed. “You were high, weren’t you?”
I nodded, arms wrapping tightly around my stomach, as if it would protect me from their judgement. From my own damnation.
“So, you got fucked by seven men. Got high. Or maybe the other way around. And then came for an innocent little sleepover with us.” Jae nodded to himself.
“That’s some fucked shit. And what was Enoch to you?
Some game?” Jae shook his head with disdain, putting on a mocking tone.
“Oh, let me get the shy kid to fall in love with me, while I go around getting coked out and gang banged.”
I ground my teeth together.
“It wasn’t a fucking game. And I didn’t get fucked by seven men for fucking fun.”
“Oh, we know,” Jae sneered. “You were some ‘hero’ who helped the FBI take down the big, bad criminals.”
“I never said I was a hero,” I ground out. “I never pretended to be one either.”
“I don’t…” Enoch finally spoke, his brows bunched, and I braced myself for the pain of his judgement.
Jae pushed on when Enoch trailed off. “What’s the other part? You said it was twofold?”
Hell, this is so fucking humiliating. It’s like I’m back with Agent Nguyen confessing everything for their records. I scoffed to myself. Maybe Jae should consider a career change.