Chapter 43
Forty-Three
Emory
My eyes throbbed as I attempted to peel them open. My body was moving, or someone was moving it as I jostled against someone’s chest. It was warm and I breathed in. The spicy scent jolted my heart with adrenaline, and I opened my eyes.
Theo.
I blinked up at his face, recognizing the familiar ceiling of our shared home as he climbed the stairs.
It all came rushing back to me and I couldn’t stop the involuntary fresh tears that filled my eyes.
It was real. I was really gone. Theo had found me. I was back in Eden.
I closed my eyes, savoring the familiar burn, the familiar ache as the tears spilled down my cheeks.
I was suddenly placed on a soft surface, our bed, I realized, as my body sunk into the mattress.
“Shh,” he hushed, swiping away my tears. “You’re home. You’re safe now.”
He climbed onto the bed and pulled me into his arms.
“I love you so much. I’ve missed you every day. I promise I never forgot you, not for one moment.”
I didn’t fight it as he smoothed his hand over my hair.
“When the sedatives have worn off, we can start the ritual. Just relax, let me hold you while I tell you all about the vision God gave me, hmm?”
Sedatives. That would explain why I’m so fucking tired. Why I can’t fucking remember how we got from Alaska to Texas.
I didn’t respond and he sighed, gently rocking our bodies as he adjusted himself against the headboard.
“It was last year,” he said softly. “God gave me a vision. He showed me exactly what we needed to do to break this generational curse. We must be punished to the full extent and then we will fast for thirty days. Abstaining from all food, water and intimacy. When it’s finished, we will be baptized once more and then we will be ready…
we’ll be ready to start our family. The curse will be broken, and we will have our first child. ”
Will Enoch look for me? Will my friends call the police? Will he know where I am? I hadn’t told him much about Theo. Would he know to look for me here? Would he know that Los Siete didn’t have me?
“I’ve been dreaming about what our child might look like. Sometimes it’s a girl with your gorgeous red hair. Other times it’s a boy with your hazel eyes and my dark hair,” Theo chuckled softly. “I don’t care. I don’t care what they look like, I just can’t wait to meet them.”
My chest ached at the thought of having another miscarriage. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go through that pain again. Couldn’t live with myself knowing my body couldn’t sustain the life it had created. If this didn’t work, would he finally kill me? I think if he doesn’t, I might finally do it.
Something there, something small in the back of my mind told me to wait. Told me to hold on.
Hope.
The most fragile human emotion.
◆◆◆
The sickest part of my mind had my heart racing in anticipation for the pain it knew was coming. Twenty-six days and one slip and I was already craving it like a drug.
When the first sting of the belt hit my senses, a rush of endorphins flooded my brain so fast I couldn’t have stopped the smile on my face if I tried. The smile wasn’t there for long though.
Elder Mark made us count out loud each strike of the belt.
By strike ten I was struggling to keep tears at bay.
I could barely make out Theo’s voice through the whoosh of my pulse in my ears.
He was praying something over us between his own grunts of pain, but the words didn’t register.
All I felt was the pain, every thought wiped as the white-hot heat scorched through every cell in my body, painting an orange fire across the backs of my eyelids as each blow landed true across my back.
Maybe it was pride, but I didn’t want to cry.
Didn’t want to give in to the pain. So, I focused on retreating to some dark corner in my mind.
The one I used to go to when I escaped reality.
The one where Enoch was with me, where I could feel his arms hugging my body close, smell his woodsy scent, hear his smooth voice.
By the time I muttered thirty-nine, the pain was so excruciating I was struggling to stay conscious. I could feel the blood trickling down my spine as it trailed through the carnage that was once smooth skin.
I gave up holding my body upright and landed on my face. I turned my head, meeting Theo’s tear-stained face as he looked down at me with concern.
“We’ll be okay, my love,” he whispered roughly, trying to smile through his clear agony.
Elder Mark dropped the belt, and the blood dripping off it made my stomach flip.
He was panting from exertion and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, his hands shaking I noticed.
I wondered if he felt any shame or guilt.
Wondered if he had taken any pleasure in the pain he’d just doled out at the bequest of his leader.
His eyes widened suddenly, eyes trained on the door.
“Did you call him?” he asked.
“No,” Theo breathed, eyeing me warily. “No, I didn’t.”
“Hell,” Elder Mark muttered under his breath, standing from the bed. “I’ll see what he wants.”
There wasn’t time because the door opened and a shocked hiss left the newcomer’s mouth.
“Wh-what? Lord have mercy, what have you done, Theodore?”
My mind raced. Father was here. Was he really so surprised that his son would do this? Theo’s pension for punishment had been hereditary.
Theo’s jaw clenched, as he moved to stand, swaying slightly on his feet as I imagined the twisting of his back pained him.
“What have I done? I’ve returned my wife to her rightful place, by my side. I knew that I should never have listened to you when you tried to convince me that my wife was gone, dead.”
I’d never heard Theo speak so harshly to his Father and I tensed, waiting for him to lash out.
“H-how is she here? I don’t understand, did they bring her back here?”
“They?” Theo said with confusion.
“Oh no,” Father's voice shook. Was that fear? “Theodore, tell me. Now. How did you find her?”
“You knew?” Theo scoffed. “You knew my wife was alive and well this whole time?”
“I-I...You don't understand. Theodore. Please, who else knows that she is here? Where did you find her? Who helped you?”
There was a long pause. Theodore grunted as his feet carried him closer to the door and out of my line of sight. “What did you do?”
“You will not disrespect me,” Father said with ferocity. “You have put all of us at risk.”
My stomach soured. There was something wrong. Something very wrong with the situation.
“Risk? What risks have you taken, Father? What have you done? Have you been making deals with the devil?”
“You don’t understand, Theodore. They threatened the church. They told me if I complied with their demands they wouldn’t harm her. And they wouldn’t reveal…reveal the nature of our doctrine.”
Oh, no. No. Had Los Siete gone through with their plan? Even without me here?
“And what did these men have you do?” Theo asked with a level of calm that I wasn’t expecting.
“Business. Just business. With the law. Nothing that didn’t help our own endeavors.”
“Is that what you tell yourself at night, Father? Do you still pray to our God for forgiveness, or does the Lord come second to the devilish criminals whom you’ve deemed worthy of your devotion?”
I couldn’t see Father’s face, but I could imagine the shade of red it was turning. There was a long pause of silence, and I wondered if Father was having a stroke.
“You don’t know what you’ve done,” he finally muttered gravely.
“I’ve done nothing but the will of our Lord. Can you say the same?”
Father stuttered, fumbling for words.
“You’ve made a deal with the devil, whereas I’ve made a deal with the Lord.
He’s rewarded me for my faithfulness, reunited me with my wife, and has given me a vision of how to cull the generational sickness from my bloodline.
Perhaps you should be more concerned with where your devotion lies, Father, than with my personal affairs. ”
“You cannot judge the sinner when you are riddled with the stain of sin yourself. I have done more for this family, this church, than you will ever do in your lifetime.” He paused. “Which will be short when they find out what you’ve done.”
“They won’t find out, because you aren’t going to tell them. Unless you want mother to know the truth.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Father spat.
“For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.”
I swallowed, the room spinning, so I closed my eyes.
The pain I’d tried to lock away into a box was forcing its way out, seeping through the cracks of my resolve. An involuntary whine left my throat before I welcomed the darkness that pulled me away from here.
Maybe I’d never wake up this time.