Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
Shiloh
The kiss we had shared led me to fantasize about a future with Enoch and what I was going to miss out on even though I never even had it to begin with.
But it was so perfect, and I wanted to go to his house, steal more kisses, feel his body on mine, intertwine our limbs until we couldn’t possibly get any closer. I wanted more.
More of him.
More of us.
More of a normal fucking teenage life.
The reality of what I was about to do was sinking in, the weight of it filling my lungs like cement, making it hard to breathe when I thought too much.
After church on Sunday, I approached Theo to let him know that I had prayed about it and was confident in my decision to attend RLS and become a member of Reformation Church.
Theo was overjoyed and told me to take the week to get my affairs in order—get rid of any worldly possessions, square away any financial responsibilities, and prepare to attend the RLS program the following Monday.
One week left. Seven days before I disappeared from my life as Shiloh and permanently became Olivia Lane.
I worried Theo would lose interest, worried his parents would force him to marry Martha before I finished RLS.
And I worried what would happen while I was gone and how would I explain my sudden absence to Enoch, Jae and Sebastian.
I needed to speak to Carlos about the details of my upcoming departure, but he was busy preparing for Thanksgiving festivities and had brushed off my questions. Told me not to worry, that everything would be sorted before Sunday night. But it left me on edge.
The anxiety was consuming my energy to complete any basic tasks.
I could barely eat, I slept as much as I could—the only escape I had from reality.
The best distraction besides sleeping was texting with Enoch.
He tried to FaceTime and was constantly checking if I wanted to come over and hang out since we were on break from school, but I did my best to dodge him gently.
There was an unexpected knock on my apartment door. I planned to ignore it, but then I heard the jingle of keys and the sounds of the locks turning. For fuck’s sake, I should’ve installed an extra deadbolt or something.
“Get dressed. I’ll wait on the couch.”
“Well, hello to you too, Adrian,” I said, turning around to face him. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his face.
He rolled his eyes, well, the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut, at me from his position in the doorway of my bedroom. I swallowed back the bile in my throat.
“What happened?”
Adrian pursed his lips into a thin line. “Passed my loyalty test.”
Fuck. He’s the sucesor.
I released the breath of tension I had been holding. At least it meant he hadn’t sold me out to Carlos. My friends were safe.
“The fuck do you need me for? I’m busy. I’ve got to mentally prepare for my Oscar worthy role as the future Mrs. Olivia Walsh.”
He didn’t laugh at my dark humor. “Just put some fucking clothes on. And leave your phone here.”
I glared at him. “Fuck no.”
He simply blinked. “Leave your phone here, Shiloh.”
He didn’t wait for me to respond before limping back out to the living room. I was still confused but relented, leaving my phone on the nightstand and slipping on a hoodie over my already grungy outfit.
He walked beside me out to the elevator, and I realized we must be going to his place when instead of going down we went up.
“Why are you taking me to your apartment?”
He ignored me and I followed him out of the elevator until he stopped in front of a unit.
He unlocked the door, motioning for me to enter.
He was beginning to freak me out, and I hesitated before crossing the threshold.
I stopped dead in my tracks, Adrian running into my back unable to stop his momentum in time, at the sight of a kid sitting at the kitchen table.
Adrian maneuvered around me, “I told you to wait for me.”
The kid looked confused for a moment. “I don’t need permission to eat food. I was hungry.”
“I know you don’t need permission, smartass, but it’s polite to wait for guests to arrive before you start eating.”
My heart clenched, realizing this was Adrian’s younger brother that Carlos had threatened me with to keep me in the gang. Lonnie shrugged, going back to his food, completely ignoring my presence. Not that I cared.
“Shiloh, Lonnie. Lonnie, Shiloh. Now come get a plate while it’s still warm.”
It looked like some sort of premade lasagna you’d find in the freezer aisle at the grocery store. I wasn’t hungry and the sight of the cheese being stretched to an ungodly length as Adrian served himself made my stomach churn.
“No thanks. I’m good.”
Adrian shrugged, unbothered, and groaned in discomfort as he took a seat across from his brother.
He motioned for me to join them at the table, and I reluctantly took the seat beside Lonnie.
Adrian asked Lonnie some questions about his day and his plans for the evening, while I let my gaze wander around the open floor plan.
Adrian’s apartment was lived in. There were photos of him and Lonnie at various ages, a collection of very-detailed Legos in a display case, and some schoolwork hung on the fridge with a magnet.
I didn’t realize they’d finished eating until Lonnie left the table and was at the front door slipping on his shoes. I definitely missed where the hell he was going, but it seemed sports related when he grabbed what looked like a tennis racket bag. When the door shut behind him, I turned to Adrian.
“So, do you have custody of your brother then?”
He must not have been expecting the question because he stared at me for a second.
“Uh, yeah. It was part of the reason Carlos had me…you know. My dad had custody up until then and wouldn’t give it up legally.
Lonnie’s a great kid, all things considering.
I just wish he hadn’t been stuck under the influence of all this fucked-up shit. He doesn’t deserve that.
“Lonnie’s technically my half-brother, and he’s thirteen years younger than me.
I was raised mostly by my mom and had only ever met Lonnie a few times.
But then Lonnie’s mom was arrested and Marcus, our dad, got sole custody of him.
I wasn’t planning to get involved, but Marcus refused to let me intervene.
My dad was an awful person, and I didn’t want Lonnie to be raised by him, which meant kidnapping Lonnie and risking getting sent to prison or trying to get CPS involved.
That fucking backfired and then the only option was getting involved with Carlos.
At least now it means I’m around to take care of him, get him the therapy and school services he needs, and keep him as far away from Carlos as I can. ”
I stared at him awkwardly, unsure if I should pat his shoulder or something.
Fuck, I don’t do touchy feely shit.
Unless it’s Enoch.
Shut up.
He suddenly cleared his throat, and I could feel the weight of whatever he was about to say already filling up the space between us.
“When I made the deal, I agreed to one year and then it just went on, there was always something else, something more that I needed to give to help. With this sucesor position, I’ll finally have more than enough power to actually get intel. We have to get all seven of them at once.”
I blinked at him, unsure if I heard him right.
“What?”
He leaned closer to me, studying my expression for something.
“As soon as I’ve got enough shit on them, I can get Lonnie away from here for good.”
My mouth fell open in shock, and I struggled to find something to say.
“If we work together, we—”
“No,” I gasped, standing up so quickly the chair tipped over. “No, shut the fuck up. I’m not playing. If this is some fucking test of my loyalty, let the record show that I am saying N-O. No.”
What the fuck is going on right now? I’ve reached my limit. Officially. I cannot handle anymore bullshit. Max capacity. No more.
“I’m not fucking around Shiloh. This is legit. And I need you to give me the info I need so we can both walk away from this.”
I must be hallucinating. Maybe I smoked something, and I just don’t remember. Because this shit is so far from reality that I’m starting to believe that maybe I’m dead and everything is a simulation.
“You’re serious?”
“Deadass.”
I laughed, nearly tripping over the chair as I made my way down the hallway, opening up all the doors.
“What the hell are you doing?” Adrian called out.
“Looking for Carlos. Clearly this is a fucking setup.”
“It’s not a setup, Shiloh. Why do you think I asked you to leave your phone at home?”
I slammed open the door to last room and stared into the dimly lit bedroom. I flicked on the lights and scanned the empty space.
I turned back around with a huff and glared at Adrian who was standing at the end of the hallway.
“This is fucking ridiculous. Let me get this straight, you’re like an informant to the cops or something?”
“Or something.”
I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief. “You’re going to get yourself and Lonnie killed. And now you’re risking my life. My friends’ lives. I don’t take that shit lightly.”
“We’re risking our lives anyways just being a part of the fucking gang,” he shot back with a bitter growl, moving from his position at the table until he was just a few feet from me. “The longer I’m stuck in this life, the greater the likelihood of me or Lonnie getting killed.”
“Did you learn fucking anything from the last fucking sucesor?”
Adrian’s brows knitted in confusion, his fists relaxing at his sides.
“My brother, Carlos’s sucesor. Was he in on this too? Was he informing to the FBI?”
I tried my best to swallow the lump in my throat that was forming. It was all too familiar—the older brother risking his life to be his sibling’s savior. I laughed bitterly, anything to distract myself from the desire to scream.
Adrian nodded slowly. “Yes.”