Chapter 37 #3
“Well,” she cleared her throat, and her face took on a professional seriousness.
“It’s good to finally meet you. You’ve been on our radar since that first test you completed for Carlos.
Well, that’s not true. We knew about your brother and knew of your existence but didn’t know you were involved until… you were involved.”
She let that information sit before continuing. “I’m approaching you now, before you’re unreachable, because I have a deal to offer you.”
“A deal?”
“Yes,” she nodded, gesturing for me to follow her.
She took a seat at a folding table and chairs in the kitchen.
“So?” I asked, crossing my arms and ignoring her gesture for me to sit down.
“So,” she said with a head nod, “the FBI is willing to offer you a deal. Your testimony in exchange for immunity and relocation with the Witness Protection Program.”
“Is that what you offered my brother?”
She tilted her head with a look of confusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I scoffed shaking my head. “You can fuck off with the theatrics. I already know that Adrian and my brother were working with you.”
She sighed, leaning back in her chair as she studied me.
“I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression, Shiloh, but your brother wasn’t an informant. At least not for the FBI.”
I blinked.
“What? No. Adrian said that’s what he was doing. Why he got killed. He died trying to sell you guys secrets. That’s why I joined the gang. That’s why I’m about to be married to a stranger. He turned for me and I’m living with the consequences.”
She cleared her throat and frowned.
“I don’t know what Adrian told you, but we had nothing to do with your brother or his death.”
“You’re lying,” I muttered, my head spinning.
“I’m not,” she implored. “Shiloh, your brother’s death was a conveniently timed coincidence.”
“Coincidence?” I scoffed. My stomach hollowed and a horrible thought struck me. “Oh God. Adrian.”
I reached out for the table to steady myself.
“God, no. No,” I shook my head. Fuck. Isn’t that what he said when I first met him? He plants information. He’s a Ghost online, untraceable. “Adrian framed my brother to get his position.”
The words tasted bitter on my tongue, and I resisted the urge to scream.
I looked up to find Clarissa looking distraught. “Was it you? Did you tell him to get my brother killed? You need Adrian as the sucesor don’t you?”
She stood from the table slowly, hands raised in a placating manner as she eyed me.
“Shiloh, it wasn’t the FBI. It wasn’t me. I swear. We would never have told him to murder anyone. That’s against the law.”
“Fuck the law,” I spat.
I took a shuddered breath and ground my teeth together.
“Shiloh, I don’t know what Adrian told you, but if you keep obeying Los Siete, you know there is no reality where you come out of this situation on top. You will be exploited by Carlos Solis until there is nothing left for him to take.”
I continued to stare at the tile floor. “How many years do you really think you can do this for, Shiloh? How many more crimes can you commit before it catches up to you, whether that be a needle in the arm or a bullet in the skull?”
God I can’t do this shit. The seconds are ticking by, and I want to be with Enoch one last night. I don’t have time for this bullshit. I need to go say goodbye.
“How far are you willing to go for Los Siete, for Carlos? Because you’ve already killed for him once, Shiloh. What more are you willing to do?”
Her voice rang loudly in my ears.
“Shut up,” I ground out. “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know anything.
” I seethed, taking a step closer to her.
“You don’t know what I’m capable of. You don’t know what I want.
You don’t know how fucked-up my brain is, or if I’m just as sick as my psychopath brother—the murderer and torturer.
How do you know I don’t crave it too? You want to find out?
You want to find out what exactly I’m capable of, Clarissa? ”
I was panting with rage, mere inches from her still frame that continued to stare at me without an inch of emotion on it.
“Let me help you.”
I scoffed at her gall.
“Help?!” I screamed. “Help? You think you’re helping me by forcing me to make a deal with you? And to what? Share secrets that I’m not even privy to?”
I laughed. I laughed so hard that my throat burned and my stomach cramped from the effort of it.
“Where the fuck was your help when Adrian was framing my brother for murder? Where the fuck was your help when I was being raped by seven men? One of which was your rat. Where the fuck was your help when they drugged me and I murdered someone? Where the fuck was your help when Adrian threatened to kill my friends and force someone else I love to take my place as his fellow rat in the gang?”
“Shiloh,” she sighed, a look of sympathy in her eyes.
“No,” I took several steps back from her. “No. You are just as bad as them. You knew what they were doing, you knew and you didn’t intervene. And Adrian has immunity for all of it! My brother’s murder and my rape. So thanks very much for your goddamn help.”
Clarissa shook her head.
“This is bigger than you, Shiloh. Much bigger. We are going to take down this whole organization. All of them. And I’m sorry to say, but your sob story doesn’t hold a candle to the number of sickening things these people do daily.
You think Carlos is bad with his drugs and his sex clubs.
You have no clue what else Los Siete is doing.
Alex Cruz, the jefe in Arizona is selling children across the country.
Children. I’m talking three, four-year-old children being sold to grown men for sex. ”
My stomach swirled with nausea. I thought those polaroids of the teenage girls were bad, but toddlers? Fuck.
“Don’t you want to stop them? Don’t you want justice for everything they’ve done to you and your family, everything they’re doing to innocent children?”
“How does justice feel, Shiloh?”
I pulled the hair at my scalp. “So, you won’t help me? You won’t get me out of Los Siete?”
“I want to help. I do. But, Shiloh, I can’t give you immunity from your involvement with Los Siete and everything that you’ve done, unless you agree to become a CI.
I know that we’re asking you to continue to stay in the gang, but it’s not for much longer.
We are so close, Shiloh. Between you and the other informants—”
“Informants? There’s more than just Adrian?”
She continued with a narrowed gaze. “We are so close to obtaining enough information to take them down through the courts. Enough to get these men behind bars for the rest of their lives.”
My eyes stung and I cursed my mother. What more could she possibly need from me?
“Haven’t I given enough?”
“You have,” she nodded, stepping closer, reaching out to me but I curled my arms around myself.
“You have. And I’m sorry that we’re asking this from you.
But if you want to be admitted into the Witness Protection Program you will need to testify against these men, after they’ve been arrested.
You’re seventeen, Shiloh. I’m giving you a chance at life. A real life, Shiloh.”
She paused to sigh, taking another step closer to me. “I can’t protect you unless the agency sees value in doing so. Otherwise, you’ll just be another person we arrest when this all goes down.”
The silence stretched between us, my internal war loud enough in my own head. My brother was murdered for something he didn’t even do. Adrian threw away Javier’s life, his future, because Lonnie’s life was more valuable than anyone else’s. God, I had been so fucking stupid!
I’d let my body be defiled by so many men. I’d murdered someone. I was about to marry an older man. And for what?
What the fuck am I doing?
Javier told me to fight, and I feel like all I’ve been is a fucking coward.
This is my opportunity to avenge my own shriveled dignity. Maybe it will be enough to wipe away some of the guilt on my conscience. If I can’t get Adrian behind bars for his part in my brother’s death, at least I might be able to get Carlos and Vargas.
But I’m so fucking tired of treading water.
I took several deep breaths, trying to control my erratic heart and racing thoughts. I could be strong. I could be strong for just a little bit longer.
Maybe I was naive. Desperate. Childish. For clinging to the hope she was dangling in front of me. Clinging to the idea that one day my future could look like Enoch’s. Happy. Peaceful.
“I’m not even going to be with Los Siete for the foreseeable future. They’re sending me to marry a stranger.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “Theodore Walsh. We know. We’ve been made aware of the situation. And we want you to be there. This is good for us, Shiloh. You’ll be able to help us pin Carlos for campaign fraud, corruption, extortion and bribery of a public official.”
I growled with frustration. “So, I’m going to have to stay married to this fucker for years. The election isn’t for three years, Clarissa!”
She nodded and released a sigh. “Yes, I know. But these types of operations take time. We can’t go in guns blazing until we are certain that they will not be able to walk away freely. And it’s only another year until the campaign. By then, we might have all the information that we need.”
“You’ve been saying that for years, according to Adrian. How do I know you’re actually going to follow through? That you’ll get me out?”
“Because you are valuable, Shiloh. Uniquely valuable because you will be protected. You’ll be living in a heavily secured and isolated property far away from Carlos’s influence.
Yes, he might have you report back or snoop, but this means you won’t have to worry about things going south or him finding out that you’ve made a deal.
This marriage is going to be a breeze compared to what Carlos could have made you do for him.
As far as we know, this religious community is completely benign, albeit a little misogynistic. ”
I released a shaky sigh, pressing my hands into my eyelids.
“And Adrian? He fucking murdered my brother! And he threatened to kill my friends too if I didn’t help him. How can I trust that you’re not the one pulling his strings?”
Clarissa shook her head with pursed lips.
“I understand that you’re angry. I am truly sorry about your brother, Shiloh.
I am,” she said with a sincere gaze. “I knew that Adrian was desperate, but I didn’t realize the lengths at which he was willing to go.
I will personally make sure that Adrian doesn’t jeopardize the safety of your friends so long as you agree to be a confidential informant. ”
I scoffed. “Right. Because you won’t protect anyone that you don’t deem ‘useful’ to your job.”
I shook my head, fingernails digging into my palms as I tried to process everything that was at stake.
“Fuck,” I swore, my heart pounding. “Three years?”
“Most likely sooner than that if things go to plan. The campaigning will begin in one year, which means Carlos will start acting on his plan to buy Kit Walsh around then.”
A couple of years and then she would get me out.
I could be free, I could walk away and start fresh.
What’s a couple of years compared to the level of freedom she was offering me?
And the justice. Fuck, the thought of getting revenge on all of these people was making my blood hum with sick excitement.
I just needed to be patient. I could do this for a little while longer and then I would be free.
“If I end up pregnant, if I end up having a child with Theo, you’ll put us all in Witness Protection, right?”
I could see the flicker of triumph in her eyes. “Yes. We would protect you and any of your children. Though I can’t say the same for Theo. He might be complicit in any illegal activities his father does.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to find a reason to say no.
“Just so you know, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this to keep my friends safe. To atone for everything I’ve done, and everything I’m going to have to do.”
Clarissa didn’t bother to hide the broad smile as she took a seat at the table, motioning for me to join her.
“You’re making the right choice, Shiloh. I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”