Chapter 18 #2
When he returned to the longhouse that evening, he steeled himself.
The women worked together near the fire, preparing the meal as the children darted between benches.
Eadlyn met his eye. He held her gaze only briefly, but long enough to catch the uncertainty in it.
He turned away, fixing his attention on Erik and Fathir’s conversation.
A few moments later, he heard her approach before she appeared.
Her expression was tentative, searching his face as if for reassurance.
Nothing like the way she’d smiled and interacted with him just over a week ago.
The change punched something deep in his chest that ached of longing layered with guilt.
He quickly buried it. He couldn’t let himself want what he could not afford to lose.
When she realized he would give her nothing more, resignation claimed her expression. The voice that usually held so much optimism was dull.
“If it’s all right with you, I’m going to ask Heida to teach me how to defend myself. I’m tired of feeling defenseless. I’ve felt it my whole life, and I don’t want to live in fear of another confrontation like the one with Sig.”
Her tone carried a determined undercurrent.
Aevar nodded. While it would always be his duty to protect her and the alliance, life here did not suit those who could not put up a fight. “That is a good idea.”
“Tahk.” She dipped her head and walked away without saying another word.
He watched her go. It was what he wanted. Distance. Detachment. Safety. Yet something hollow gnawed at him. He dragged a breath into his lungs, trying to steady the ache, and caught his mother’s disapproving look from across the hall.
Eadlyn stirred at the sound of Aevar’s voice, low and brief, followed by the soft thud of the door closing. She blinked away sleep and lifted her head, but he was already gone. A sigh slipped past her lips.
At least right after they’d been married, he seemed to tolerate her.
Now he couldn’t seem to get away from her fast enough.
Despite Kian’s reassurance, she couldn’t shake the nagging suspicion Aevar blamed her for Sig, as if something she had done had made the encounter possible.
Everything had changed that day, and no matter how she turned it over in her mind, she found no other explanation.
She sat up and bowed her head, folding her hands in her lap. Her whispered prayers tumbled together, not polished or poetic. Just a tattered hope tangled with confusion. She wasn’t even sure what to ask when it came to Aevar anymore. Only that he might one day stand the sight of her again.
After several minutes, she got up and reached for the long tunic and trousers she’d found in Thora’s chest. Heida had said training would be easier in something less encumbering than a dress.
A leather jerkin laced over the top, snug but comfortable.
She glimpsed herself in the polished metal mirror on the wall and released a soft laugh.
Edward would have teased her relentlessly, and Galen would have frowned but then offered to show her how to hold a sword.
After tying her hair back in a quick braid, she left the room, drawn into the usual morning routine.
Aevar seemed to notice her from where he was talking with Kian, but his gaze did not linger.
A sting bloomed behind her ribs. She scolded herself for it.
Since when had she started longing for his attention anyway?
She turned toward the women instead. At least his family had not withdrawn from her. They greeted her as lovingly as ever, and she lost herself in the familiar comfort of practicing Nordric over breakfast.
When the meal finished, she followed Heida outside to the grassy patch along one side of the longhouse.
The morning was cool but clear—the kind of air that filled her lungs with crisp freshness.
Here, Heida handed her a knife the length of her forearm.
It settled into her palm, heavier than it looked, but not unmanageable.
She turned it in her hand. The edges had been dulled for training.
“We’ll start with this,” Heida said. “Once you are comfortable with that, I’ll show you how to use an axe.”
Eadlyn tightened her grip. The blade pressed against her palm, its weight shifting with each small adjustment of her fingers.
She’d never be a warrior like Heida, but if she could walk through the village without fear, that was enough.
She had always wanted Galen to train her, but her father hadn’t allowed it.
At least Aevar had given his blessing despite whatever issue he had with her.
“I appreciate you taking the time to do this,” she said.
“You’re the princess of Essix and Aevar’s wife. It’s in my best interest to make sure you don’t get killed.” Heida gave her a lopsided smirk. “That, and we all like having you around.”
Eadlyn laughed under her breath. Aevar might be an exception. “I’ll try not to embarrass you too badly.”
“Good.” Heida nodded approvingly. “Confidence is the first lesson.” She stepped back and motioned. “Show me how you hold it.”
Eadlyn adjusted her grip on the knife.
Heida raised a brow and strode over. “We’ll work on that.”