Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
A fter the visit to the shop with Oakley, she was a hundred percent certain that it was the future home for Pretty Baked. Between the way he envisioned the space and built on her ideas, it told Clementine that she was doing the right thing. And every time he said we , her heart would tumble and dance, because wasn’t that what everyone wanted the person they loved to say?
He was the best surprise of her entire life.
Two days later, she put in an offer for the shop. Even though the price she offered was a lot lower than what was requested by the owner, they managed to negotiate it down to a good deal. Now the real work began. Which included measuring spaces and putting in orders for supplies. But mostly putting Mack in front of the wall and telling him to paint a mural. Only when Oakley mentioned art did she realize that it was the best place for her to promote her best friend.
Now, a week before the Spring Food Fling—the name still bothered her because why would you want to talk about flinging food?—she had taken the day off to visit the shop for the first time as the new owner. It was the most excited she’d ever been and for a change, Mack was the one being grumpy. She took a picture outside the main door and sent it to Oakley, then took pictures of the interior to share with her family.
Clementine
Guess who is finally expanding?
Camden
That looks like a place where porn is filmed.
Mama
I have so many questions for you, son.
Camden
None of the answers will comfort you.
Dad
Can’t wait to see what you’ll do with the space.
Clementine
*sends picture of Mack frowning*
Enlisted this fool to paint me a mural.
Mama
Give that boy my love.
Camden
He’s a grown ass man with a kid of his own.
Mama
He’s still a boy to me.
Dad
Proud of you, Tiny.
Clementine
Thanks, Dad. I’ll pass the love on, Mama.
Camden
When will it stop looking like that?
Clementine
Soon. And no, you’re not invited to the opening.
Camden
Rude.
Mama
Looking forward to your new space, honey.
Clementine
Love you guys *kissy face emoji*
At the sound of Mack’s loud groan, she looked up to a deep scowl. She put her phone away and matched his frown.
“What’s with the face?”
“You’re sexting with him, aren’t you?”
I’d love to be sexting with him . Making a face, she said, “Texting my family. Gross.”
“Right.” He dragged a hand over his face. “I’m glad you’re getting laid and having the best sex of everyone’s life, but please stop.”
“Why?”
“I’m jealous. I want to sext with someone and hell, fuck someone.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” her contractor, James, said with a faint blush across his cheeks. “I’ve got some measurements for you to look over.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded, following him to the window ledge where his notebook was resting. She could hear Mack mumbling to himself, but focused on the job at hand. James had numbers for everything that she wanted to revamp—the floors, windows, doors and counters—as well as the things she wanted to add in. He rattled off details and asked her questions, she felt bubbles of excitement in her chest. Like she’d drunk a whole lot of champagne. It felt so fucking good.
“So it’s all doable?”
“Absolutely. I’ll get back to the office and go through raw materials to get you an estimate,” James stated, surveying the space. “I think the vision you have for this space will really work.”
“Thanks, James.”
After he left, she walked over to where Mack was standing. His arms were crossed as he assessed the wall, muttering to himself.
“I’m thinking pastel shades, to match your coats and aprons.”
“As long as it doesn’t clash or be too much of a contrast with the dark green trim.”
Mack pursed his lips, paint-stained fingers tapping against his mouth. Now that inspiration had struck, he was always covered in paint. She was glad that he was painting again, because Clementine knew how worked up he’d been about his creative block.
“Should be fine.”
She bumped into him gently. “What’s on your mind?”
“Your usual fare was my original thought, you know, donuts and cakes. But now I’m thinking nothing food related, not directly anyway.”
“I have the utmost faith and confidence in you and your skills.”
“Fucking hell, now I’m stressed.” His accent crept out slightly, but his frown turned into a small smile.
“I know I haven’t said it in a while, but I’m glad you’re here with me.”
“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help you out?”
“With me in Wildes , Mack. You didn’t have to move out here.”
His eyebrows dipped as he looked at her. “We promised each other that wherever one went with their dreams, the other would follow.”
“What about your dreams?”
“Hey.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tugging her into his side. “I’ve got my kid and my best friend. Plus, my creative juices are flowing. I think I’m living my dreams.”
Her heart ached for this incredible man, but she nodded. “Be honest with me, how are you doing?”
“Ups and downs. But Dig and I are hanging in there. They really like Oakley.”
“And what are your thoughts about Oakley?” She loved watching Indigo and Oakley interact, because it was pure and authentic. The two of them bonded over Gracie and he got to behave like a child with Dig.
“He’s a good guy. He’s stupid over you. That’s enough for me.”
“He is a good guy,” she echoed and squeezed Mack’s side before letting him go.
With a pencil from his pocket, he started drawing on the wall. Clementine was glad that she had the MacArthurs in her life, but she could also not even imagine being a single parent and doing everything on her own. Mack’s strength as a father was commendable and she often worried that he was wearing himself out. Not that he needed someone to help him out, but a distraction wouldn’t hurt.
Then her mind wandered to her distraction. That’s what he was meant to be. She wanted a little excitement and some fun, and he came along at the right time. Now he was so much more and while her fears that this could fall apart any minute lingered, she tried not to focus on that. Clementine had never said ‘I love you’ to anyone outside of her family, Mack and Indigo. While none of them had left or abandoned her, she had this niggling feeling in the back of her mind that told her once she gave Oakley everything, he would leave. All signs pointed to him staying, but she wouldn’t be Clementine Kinney if she didn’t worry about the silly voices in her head.
“What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” Mack asked, stepping away from the wall.
“Uh, menu finalizing for the Food Fling. And trying not to stress out about it.”
“It’s going to be fucking awesome, Tiny. I’m really happy for you.”
When she saw the weird teary expression on Mack’s face, she frowned. “No. Stop it.”
“I’m serious. You’ve been lighter and happier, plus, you’re fucking smiling and bouncing.”
She frowned. “Was it important that I smiled?”
“Fuck, no. That’s not what I meant.” He sighed and held her shoulders. “Listen to me, okay? You’ve been my best friend since before we could say each other’s names. I’ve seen you through various stages and versions. You’re my soulmate, Clem. So believe me when I say that I know what you used to be like before those fucking bitches broke your trust. I love who you are now, who you were then and who you’ll be in the future.
“But my best friend? The one who drops everything to help me with my kid, the one who never asks questions when I’m struggling and the one who went through shit as a teenager…she’s been struggling too. And you’re not struggling as much anymore. Whether that’s because of Oakley or because you’ve finally found your stride, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad that you’re not letting bullshit stop you from being whoever you want to be.”
Blinking back her tears, Clementine nodded. She knew that Mack would always be there for her, like she would always be there for him.
“I’m so grateful to have you in my life and in my corner. In case I haven’t said that to you enough.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “You never have to, Tiny. I’ve got you and you’ve got me. Just know that I don’t need you to be the happiest person in the world, but when you let yourself be happy, you’re fucking sensational.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” she said, looking up at him. “One last thing before I go.”
“Nope. Don’t even think about it.” He shook his head, forehead crinkling.
“Just…text her. Nothing needs to come of it besides a friendship. You admitted that she’s pretty.”
“She’s gorgeous, but I don’t have the time for any of that.”
“I want to remind you that you said you wanted to fuck someone not too long ago.”
“For fuck’s sake. You’re impossible.”
“But you love me.”
Mack growled and shot her a glare. “I’m starting to regret everything I said today.”
“Love you, Rossy poo.” She pressed a loud kiss against his cheek and he huffed.
“You’re the fucking worst.”
Once Mack had pictures of his pencil drawings, she dropped him off at his house and then went to the bakery. While she had left Roscoe and Freya in charge of the festival menu, Clementine wanted to make a batch of donuts to drop off at A Fine Needle. However, being a workaholic, the minute she walked into the kitchen, her fingers started to twitch with the need to help out. The whiteboard had a list of items they were making for the food fling, with names beside things people had claimed. By the looks of it, she had nothing to do, which was disappointing. But also a good thing considering it meant she could relax.
Finally admitting that they didn’t need her assistance, Clementine made space in a corner of the kitchen and worked on a dozen Banana Bread donuts. During the drive back to the bakery, she’d decided to finally tell Oakley how she felt. Let him know that he was more than just her friend and she would be fine if they didn’t have benefits anymore. As long as she got to have him. The whole time she baked, she had to fight back the smile tugging at her lips. Mack was right, she had been smiling a lot more. Sometimes it was because of Oakley, but a lot of the time it was because she just felt like it.
With the donuts boxed up, she drove to A Fine Needle. The first time she’d showed up with dessert, Clementine had kissed him. This was far from the last time she would be bringing dessert to the shop, but it felt like a full circle moment. Walk in there, feed him a donut and say I love you . It’s that simple. There was nobody at the front desk when she walked in, so she left the box there and took one donut as she headed to the workstations. She was still busy psyching herself up that she almost missed the deep voices laughing and talking.
“The sex good?”
Oakley’s laugh reached her. “The sex is phenomenal.”
“She’s gorgeous.”
“That’s too lame a word for her. She’s fucking perfect.”
“You sure it’s just about sex? Sounds like you’re in it for the long haul,” the other man said, chuckling.
She held her breath as she waited for his response, but rustling of curtains and other voices drowned it out. Tears welled up and she backed away, afraid of what he might or not have said. Her heart splintered as she speed-walked out of the shop, tossing the donut into the box. She heard someone say her name, but Clementine didn’t stop. She just kept moving, scared that if she turned around, her resolve would falter. Pressing a hand to her chest, she tried to breathe normally, but every inhale felt like glass was scraping against her throat.
Sucking in a sharp breath, she collapsed against the side of her truck and exhaled as tears slid down her cheek. Wasn’t this her biggest fear? That she would be ready to give all of herself and he wouldn’t want any of that? She’d told him as much how trusting her own feelings had gotten her heart broken and trampled on so many times. And then he—
“Clementine!” His voice broke through her inner ramblings and she shook her head, trying to find her words. When he spoke again, he was much closer. “You heard only a bit of the conversation.”
“It’s fine, you should get back to work.”
“Can you please look at me?” he asked, pain clear in his voice. She pinched her eyes shut and pressed back against her truck. “Baby, please .”
It was the please that did it and she turned to look at him, glad there was enough room between their bodies. Her heart hurt for herself, but also for the way Oakley looked right then. It wasn’t only because he was still wearing his gloves and his hair was flat thanks to his cap—it was the worry in his eyes.
“You know how I feel about you.”
“Do I?” she mumbled, looking anywhere but at his face. Because she thought she knew how he felt about her. Clearly I was fucking wrong .
“I didn’t want to pressure you to say it back.” Nodding, she dug in her bag for her keys and she heard him growl. “For fuck’s sake, stop running away.”
She huffed and turned to face him fully. He looked devastated, but irritated at the same time. She’d seen him with different expressions, but this was definitely the hardest to swallow.
“You said that what we have is just sex.”
“Look at me right now and tell me that you believe that.”
Clementine stared into his eyes and shook her head, because she had to trust that he wouldn’t just toss aside what they had. “Then why did you say it?”
“That is not what I said!”
The volume and tone of his voice made them both freeze and he dropped his head. He’d never sounded angry in all the time she’d known him. He’d never raised his voice and not once had he looked at her the way he was looking at her right then. It was frustration and fear and love and panic; it scared the shit out of her.
Finding her voice and as calmly as she could, Clementine said, “I guess it’s unclear what we are.”
“Clementine,” he growled her name, his green eyes settled on hers. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Every insecurity flared. Every feeling she’d ever had in the past, and for this man, was brought into question. In some distant part of her mind, she knew that this was silly. That they were arguing about words . That she might have misheard what he said. What did register was his client saying ‘You sure it’s just about sex?’. Why would he say that if Oakley hadn’t said something along those lines first?
“Then tell me what I heard or…misheard.”
He pulled his gloves off and she took another step back, because if he touched her, she would cave. He tilted his head slightly at her reaction, sadness clear in his eyes.
“We’re in a relationship.”
“Okay.”
“I’m yours and you’re mine.”
“Okay,” she repeated, aware of how unsteady her voice sounded.
“Clem…” he sighed and looked away, drawing her attention to the tightness in his jaw. He looked pained and angry, but also really scared.
She was fucking scared too.
“Why aren’t you telling me what you said?” she asked, voice soft.
“Because you’re scared. And I don’t want to push you.”
“Maybe I’d have stayed.”
“Would you really have?”
She nodded, swallowing hard. “Yes.”
“I’ve seen you scared, sweetheart.”
“Oakley, you barely gave me a chance to te—”
“Tell me what, Clem?” he interrupted, eyes blazing as he took a step forward. “That you’re fucking terrified of what it means to be with me?”
“Tell you that I’m in love with you, you moron.”
The words stopped him in his tracks and she clamped a hand over her mouth in response. He looked like he was about to speak and then decided against it, taking a small step back. Clementine whimpered, tears sliding down her cheeks. Oakley looked so startled, like he didn’t know what to do or say.
“Maybe I should have said something earlier. Told you that you’re it for me, that this hasn’t been just sex for a long time.”
“Stop saying that,” he said, voice strained.
“Why not?”
Now he was crying, sliding off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Whether or not she trusted his words was a different matter, but she needed to hear him say it.
“Because I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you. I have loved you through every kiss, every touch and every day I’ve known you,” he said, not meeting her eyes.
Her heart cracked at his words, because she’d loved him just as long. But that didn’t take away from the fact that to some stranger, he’d made it seem like it was ‘just sex’. One day, she would be ready for the whole truth, but right then, she was hurting and too sensitive to handle everything like an adult.
He finally looked at her and she swallowed back a quiet sob, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Melor…please,” he begged and she shook her head, taking a step back so she could climb into her truck. Refusing to look at him, she found her keys and started it up. With one quick glance at him, Clementine drove away. Until the tears started blurring her vision and she had to pull over to let herself cry.