Chapter 34
CHAPTER 34
A fter the showdown outside the shop, Fox had taken him home where he collapsed into bed with Gracie tucked into his side. It was only when Kristof called that he realized that he had been lying awake for hours. Who cares about sleep when my heart is breaking, right?
“Got a call from an Auburn at A Fine Needle. She said you’re a mess,” Kristof said as the call connected.
“I didn’t relapse, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
He heard a sigh of relief on the other end. “That’s good. Had Mia on standby. What happened?”
“She dumped me,” he whispered, swallowing down a sob as Gracie curled up on his chest, eyes never leaving his. “I hurt her.”
“Aw, kid. How bad was it?”
“I don’t remember getting home and I’ve been lying in bed, doing nothing.”
“What are you going to do?”
He tucked Gracie against his chest so he could sit up. “Get her back.”
“How?”
“I’m working on it.” I’m not. Not yet. He was allowing himself a few more hours of being absolutely miserable before he did anything.
“Tell me what happened.”
Oakley grimaced, face twisting into frustration. At Kristof’s repeated urging, he laid it all out there. He told him about how he was talking to Lucas about Clementine, gushing about how much he loved her and couldn’t wait to see where their relationship took them. He didn’t sugarcoat the replay, making sure that he used the words that had upset her— just sex . Even now, days later, he could see the absolute betrayal on her face. The only time he’d said that it was just sex was when he told Lucas about how things started. But that’s not what she overheard.
“I proved all her fears right. Everyone she’s ever liked has not felt the same way and they’re fucking idiots. But I made her think that’s how I felt too.”
He talked about her history with crushes and feelings to his therapist, hating himself with every word that he said. Because in that moment, staring at her tear-stained face, none of that had registered. All he wanted to do then was prove to her that he loved her. Except he’d hurt her and himself in the process. He was tired, worn out, stretched so thin; it was a miracle he was able to think or converse right then.
Kristof speaking stopped his spiral. “Be patient, okay? Don’t jump into fixer mode. Take it one day at a time.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “I can’t wait forever.”
“You need to give yourself time, Oak. If you go in guns blazing, it could all go tits up and that would defeat the purpose.”
Groaning, he fell back and the scent of Clementine fluttered around him. Tears welled up and he rubbed his forehead, feeling Gracie’s tiny paws on his arm.
“Are you tempted to drink?”
“No. Did I tell you that she got rid of all her alcohol?” They’d been drinking filter coffee or water at her house.
“She’s a keeper.”
He sighed. “And I lost her.”
“The Oakley I know won’t stop fighting for what he wants.”
The first few times in rehab, he didn’t try very hard. Being numb was better than anything else in the world. Once he got a grip on himself, he worked his ass off to kick the addictions and make something of himself. He didn’t always do or say the right thing, but Oakley was determined. The way he loved Clementine wasn’t some passing fancy. He was madly, deeply, obsessively in love with her. That meant he would definitely do everything he could to get her back.
“This is different, Kris. You should have seen her face,” he choked out. The tears, the downward curve of her mouth, the lines between her eyebrows, the sadness in her eyes—all of it would haunt him for the rest of his life
“Come on, kid. Remember all the good expressions instead. You love her, you want to be with her…respect that. Respect her. Even if she doesn’t take you back, you owe her a conversation.”
Sighing heavily, he mumbled in agreement and promised to call early next week, then hung up. Gracie stared at him, head tilted slightly, like she was trying to figure out if he was okay or not.
“You miss her, don’t you?” Gracie yipped and he kissed the top of her head. “Me too, girl. Me fucking too.”
After a shower and a change of clothes, he decided to swing by the bakery and see her. Even though Kristof had suggested taking time, he knew that if he put it off too long, he’d lose his chance. He asked Deana if she could take Gracie and headed out. Except, she wasn’t at work and nobody knew when she’d be back. Luna did offer him a box of donuts, which he took with him to the tattoo shop. Auburn was on her feet the minute he walked in and Oakley sighed.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to be fine.” Auburn gave him an awkward side hug and he forced a smile as he patted her arm.
At his workstation, he flipped through his notebook until he found the sketches he’d done for his new tattoos. It had been years since he’d been inked and not for lack of money or people to do it, but because every tattoo had to mean something. He had the perfect design, he just needed to convince someone to do it for him.
“What’s the plan?” Carin asked as they stormed in and at his confused frown, added, “To get your girl back. What is the plan?”
Releasing a slow breath, he held the book out to her. “It’s time.”
“That’s not a plan, Oak.”
“Don’t make me beg.”
They looked over the sketches. “They say that getting shitfaced is better for heartbreak than tattoos.”
“Don’t drink.”
“That’s a shame. Still don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I’ll pay you.”
“You better, but you’re not in the right frame of mind.”
“I need to feel something.”
“They make drugs for that.”
“I…no.”
“I have a guy who can ge—”
Oakley slammed his hand on the table. “I’m a recovering addict. And I’m numb enough already. Please, just do this for me.”
“Fuck, man, why didn’t you say anything?”
He shrugged and tapped the sketches. The ink on his right arm was black and line drawings, but this set would have every fucking color Carin could think of. That was what Clementine brought into his life—bright bursts of color every single day.
“Okay.” Carin sighed heavily. “Where do you want it?”
He stretched out his left arm and turned it over to show them the inside of his forearm. He looked up and found Carin watching him curiously. “She’s it. She gets an entire fucking arm, if I have anything to say about it.”
With a quick nod, they retrieved their tools and ink while Oakley stared at the sketch. It might seem impulsive, but he already planned to get this one done. It was just happening under different circumstances and earlier than intended. When Carin came back, he reminded himself to call Mia after everything was done. To assure his sponsor that he was fine and not thinking about drinking. Because that wouldn’t make him feel better.
Only Clementine would.
She was the best part of life—she’d changed everything for him in all of the best ways.
The next day, Oakley was on a mission. He knew that the Spring Food Fling was that weekend, but he needed to speak to her before she got busy. Or at least try to speak to her. Dressed in a long-sleeved Henley and his usual jeans, sneakers and ball cap, Oakley set out. He knew better than to show up at Pretty Baked, because he was certain that she was still avoiding him. So he drove to the new shop instead. He rehearsed his speech for the millionth time as he stepped inside.
Dust was everywhere, stacks of tiles and buckets of paint were scattered around the open space. Workers moved around the shop, but she wasn’t there. Her scent that usually lingered after she’d been in a room didn’t reach him and he couldn’t hear her either.
“She’s not here,” a gruff accented voice said and he turned to find Mack glaring at him. “Not that I’d tell you where she is.”
“Come on, man. You know I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“You remember what I told you would happen if you did.”
He frowned and stood his ground. Mack might be bigger and stronger than him, but Oakley was determined. “If you’re going to hurt me, get it over with.”
“What do you want?”
“I want a chance to explain myself to her. I don’t know how much she’s told you, but I fucking hate what happened.”
“She didn’t tell me anything,” Mack said, nodding for him to follow. It was only then that he noticed the man had paint everywhere and his overalls were tied around his waist, exposing his strong arms. This was the kind of guy that he used to be attracted to, minus the scowl and growl.
Shockingly, that’s what he loved about Clementine.
“Whoa.” Tearing his eyes away from Mack’s formidable form, he stared at the mural in front of him. It was an abstract piece of art, but it contained all the things that defined Clementine and her bakery. Mack had used pastel shades as much as possible. When Oakley suggested art on the wall, this is not what he imagined. It was better. “This is amazing.”
“Thanks. So, explain yourself.”
Mack settled onto a paint covered stool, ankle crossed over his knee, eyebrow arched at Oakley. He hated how many times he was having to repeat himself, but knew it was important.
“She overheard me talking to a client-slash-friend about our relationship status. But she heard only a portion and it came across like what we had was only for fun—” he winced and adjusted his cap nervously “—when obviously it’s so much more than that. Yeah, we’ve been having the time of our lives, but I’m in love with her, Mack. I’ve been crazy in love since the first time I saw her.” He tilted his head back, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to get himself together. “I swear, I don’t think of her as just a good time. She’s the only good thing in my life, man. I didn’t want to tell her how I felt because I thought it might scare her and everything would fall apart.
“Well, surprise, it all fell apart anyway. And fuck, I hurt her so badly. But she didn’t give me a chance to explain. She reacted and I get why. I deserved it. But I need to tell her the truth. Tell her everything . Give her all of me.” He turned to face a sniffling Mack. “Are you okay?”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“Helpful feedback, thanks,” Oakley grumbled.
“You didn’t hear this from me, but she feels guilty about not giving you a chance to explain yourself. But you also need to give her time.”
His heart expanded with that first bit. “How much time?”
“The Fling starts tomorrow, but you know how she feels about too much attention.”
“I don’t need an audience. I just need her.”
“I like you. Clementine has never been with anyone like you and she’s never been better than when she was with you. I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“She’s the only family Indigo and I have, so if she gives you another chance, you have to promise to be so fucking good to her. If you break her heart again, I will find a way to destroy you.”
“I won’t. I promise. I didn’t want to hurt her this time, but I did. I won’t let that happen again.”
Mack stared at him for a long moment and nodded. “While Ginny and Daisy sounded pretty determined to put you in the ground, they might also be helpful.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Be good to her and the next time we see each other, I won’t have to hurt you,” Mack repeated.
Oakley nodded and then quietly added, “Your threats sound scarier in your Scottish accent. You should work on that.”
“Fuck off,” Mack said, laughing and waved him off. “And good luck.”
He considered taking some time to build up the courage to see Clementine’s friends, but when he realized that would be prolonging the inevitable, he drove straight to Daisy’s Patch. He stood outside the flower shop for at least fifteen minutes before setting foot inside. Daisy was already waiting for him, arms crossed over her chest, one perfectly done eyebrow arched at him. Before he could say anything, Ginny bumped her shoulder against his as she walked past.
Okay, here we go. Pull on those big boy pants.
“You were standing outside for so long, figured I’d call in reinforcements,” Daisy told him, hands moving to her hips. “You’re in deep shit, Oakley .”
“Why are you saying my name like that?”
“Because you fucked up! You told us you’d treat her like a queen and you did not!”
He looked between the women, then to the staff of the flower shop watching them. “Can we talk about this somewhere…else?”
They narrowed their eyes, then in perfect synchronization, turned and walked away. He blinked at the scene and hurried after them. He stepped into a large, spacious room that didn’t have a single flower in sight. He looked around in confusion before the door clicked shut and he realized he was now trapped with two women who could definitely kill him and not even flinch about it.
Swallowing hard, he held his hands up as a sign of peace. “Please don’t kill me yet.”
“Nobody would even know,” Ginny muttered, eyes dancing with amusement even if her body language said she would make him vanish.
“How could you, Oakley? We trusted you!”
“I know. I did the worst thing possible and believe me, nobody hates me more than I hate myself,” he explained.
“We don’t hate you,” Daisy offered with a slight frown.
Ginny scoffed. “Speak for yourself, I might hate him.”
“And you have every right. Clementine is the best person in the world and I hurt her. Unintentionally, obviously. Because I’m crazy about her. Completely in love with her."
Daisy’s tough exterior cracked and a small smile tugged at her lips, but Ginny still had her scowl in place. He was aware that he couldn’t win them over that easily.
“I just went through this whole thing with Mack, but since you’re glaring at me…” He relayed the situation to the women. They gasped and groaned at all the right places. But when he was done, their angry faces were replaced with pouts and teary eyes. “I don’t deserve a chance to explain my side of things, but I would love the opportunity to tell her… show her that she’s so much more than everything.”
Daisy and Ginny exchanged a look and then nodded before turning to him. “You should grovel at the Spring Food Fling.”
“On the second day, so she’d be far more relaxed. You can use that to your advantage.”
Oakley made a face. “I don’t want to make a scene, can we do something a little less…public?”
“We’re making a fucking scene,” Ginny countered and Daisy looked slightly uneasy. “Ugh, fine. We’ll have to rope Mack in. Maybe use the new shop space. Then you can show up, drop to your knees, apologize and make promises, then run off into the sunset.”
“Do I have to be on my knees?”
Ginny huffed. “You can’t grovel while standing up, genius.”
Sighing heavily, he wondered if he had done the right thing by asking these two for help. Daisy looked like she was thinking of something else he could do while Ginny continued to stare him down.
“I might have something better instead of dropping to my knees in public.”
“What?”
“Can’t show you.”
Daisy pouted. “Why?”
“She needs to be the first person to see it.”
It took them a minute and Ginny shook her head. “You did the one thing that people say you should never do?”
“I didn’t get her name tattooed.” Yet .
“What did you do?”
He shook his head. “Afterwards. Whether we sort things out or not, I’ll show you.”
“I’ve known Clem a while and having you in her life was good for her,” Daisy said with a smile.
“That’s what I’ve been saying about her in my life.”
Ginny faked a swoon, but flashed him a smile. “I’ll talk to Mack.”
“I’ll have flowers for you. Can you pick them up on your way?”
Oakley nodded slowly, eyes darting between them. “That’s it?”
“You love her, like…genuinely love her. You’re basically obsessed with her. It’s a fantastic feeling having someone love you that much,” Ginny said with a wide smile. Daisy nodded, her expression slightly distant.
“Thank you.”
“We’re doing this for Clem, so don’t fuck up again.”
He chuckled and nodded, glad that he had three of her friends on his side. Now all he needed to do was get her to give him some of her time.