Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Charlotte
A week later, I hadn’t seen Cody even once. I suspected he avoided me like I did him. Since I typically started work and got home later than he did, we easily missed each other. We sent text messages every few days though, and every time I saw a notification from him come up, my heart flipped. Soon enough, it’d sink down into my stomach and I’d spend the next hour holding in tears.
Lucia had been more than kind, letting me slip out for a break when we worked the front at the same time. My sister had checked on me incessantly after I’d told her what happened. Even my parents tried to keep me busy by demanding I join them for dinner every other night until I knew every detail about everything in their house, garden, work, friend groups, and more.
The payoff to all of this, despite the heartache, was the crystal-clear resolve I found regarding my future: I wanted to stay. As much as I used to dream about working for Bergman, it’d become clear that I didn’t want that anymore. That’d been my dream when I’d started out, and at times through the years. It simply wasn’t what I wanted for my life anymore.
I wanted this —the gorgeous mountains peeking in through the windows on the East side of the lobby, the proximity to my family, the familiar streets, and even the crisp, clean scent of the mountain air as winter settled in and a snow storm rolled in. It was supposed to dump here in the mountains and help kick off season opening with a solid base.
As I wandered home, the streets buzzed with people bustling from work or up the hill from town, likely to catch Quinn Darling at the bar inside the resort. I’d finally stayed and enjoyed a drink while chatting with Merry and the hype was worth it. The woman could sing, and the fact that she was singing in this little bar at a high-class resort instead of cranking out records in LA was simply shocking.
“Charlie, hey.”
The voice stopped me, and I pulled up short, tripping over my own feet.
Cody grabbed my arm and steadied me. “You okay?”
My cheeks had to be stoplight red, but I nodded and gave him a thin smile to cover my humiliation and the absolute riot going on in my chest. “Fine. Thanks for the assist.”
“Sure. Can I walk you home?” He held out his elbow.
My quizzical look made him smile, and the sight of that gorgeous smile made my stomach drop.
“Figured maybe you could use an arm for the walk down. Those heels look brutal.”
“They’re not so bad. Are you escorting me like a nineteenth century suitor?” I asked.
“Sure.”
My blood raced through my veins and I clutched his firm arm because apparently, I did need the steadying force of his help. More importantly, why was he here? What did he want?
“So.”
A weak effort at prompting him, but I had to do something. I’d put myself way out there on the ledge last weekend and I didn’t want to beg him to talk to me. But he’d sought me out, and I desperately wanted to know what he’d say.
“So, I need to apologize.”
Our eyes met as we walked and I gave him a small nod, appreciating the gesture but hoping there was more. He was quiet for another minute or so as we passed a group gathered on the sidewalk outside Silverton Inn, and then as we greeted Wyatt Saint when he walked from town to the inn. His cousin Wells owned the place, and he was a good guy.
“Hey Wyatt, good to see you.”
“Charlotte Lane? Good to see you. Didn’t realize you were in town.”
“Yeah, I’m working up at the resort.”
He smiled, and even though I couldn’t see all the features of his face, I could tell he was just as handsome, if not more so, as he’d always been. He was maybe eight years older than us, and he and his brothers had always been heartthrobs, though only the youngest Saint brother, Warrick, had ever been particularly outgoing. Wyatt was shy and constantly working, and Wilder, the middle one, basically disappeared off the map before he even technically graduated, as far as I remembered.
“Good to see you, too, Cody. I’ll be checking in with you after first of the year.” He dipped his head and, of course, his cowboy hat.
“I’ll be ready,” came Cody’s cheery reply.
Wyatt gave us a tip of his hat and continued on his way, and I squeezed Cody’s arm. “I cannot believe he’s not married yet. I would’ve thought he’d have six kids by now.”
Cody made a regretful sound. “Nicest guy. Like, truly, a genuinely good person. And it’s not for lack of trying—he’s been dating a ton. Even dated Samantha from work for a while—I guess they didn’t work out. I see him at Rise and Shine and at lunch with someone new every week, seems like. But I guess nothing’s clicked.”
“It’d be hard to be tethered to a cattle ranch though. That’s got to take a ton of time, and it’s kind of remote up where his place is, isn’t it?”
“It’s not all that far, but it’s definitely out of town.”
We walked without speaking again, thoughts of Wyatt swirling. In some ways, I’d viewed Cody like Wyatt. I’d seen him as stuck here in Silverton, chained to a family business that wouldn’t release its grip. But the Kellers had never been like that—had Cody wanted to leave and see the world, he could’ve. That had been my dream, though, and not Cody’s. He’d gone to college in Salt Lake and came home to happily take his place in the business.
The realization clicked just as we reached our shared porch—some part of me had been angry with him for that. I’d known he could have adventures if he wanted, but he’d never seemed like he did. And in my mind, that meant that he didn’t want me—another confirmation of what I’d thought was true and had recently discovered wasn’t. At least, not back in high school and college.
Now? I couldn’t be sure. And hopefully, he’d clarify.
“Your place or mine?” he asked quietly.
“You choose.” My heart had started racing with the realizations of the last few minutes and the knowledge that very soon, our way forward would be decided. I knew what I wanted, and now it sounded like he was about to tell me what he did.
He unlocked his door and held it for me, so I slipped in past him. I’d seen his place more than once at this point, but adrenaline pumped through me and sharpened details I hadn’t noticed before. When he led me to the kitchen to get glasses of water, I recognized the magnets peppering the front of his fridge—ninety percent of them were ones I’d sent him from various places I’d thought he’d like. On the way back to the living room, I passed a black and white photo of the two of us, cheek to cheek and beaming, in our graduation gowns.
“Wow, that’s a blast from the past.”
He followed my gaze to the image. “I love that photo.”
His eyes flicked to me and my stomach twisted. Setting down my glass, I tucked my hands between my knees to keep them steady. “It’s a good one.”
He nodded and took a deep breath, then let it out. “So back to what we were talking about.”
He ran a hand through his hair. His jaw flexed.
My heart tripped at the signs of his nervousness, but it also buoyed me. I nodded and my cheeks heated for no reason other than the intensity of the moment. Maybe he was nervous because he was about to say he’s dumping me and never wanted me anyway, but it felt like something else was coming.
He turned his dark gaze to mine. “I don’t know how to get to this any better way, so I’m just going to say it, yeah?”
I nodded, calm on the outside and absolute chaos on the inside.
“I wanted you to stay when we were kids, but I knew you needed to go. I worried that if I told you how I felt, you’d consider staying and it’d make it harder for you to leave. And I’ve realized that I was also scared that if I told you, even if you felt the same, you’d still leave. I knew in my gut you had to go, so I felt like I was sparing myself—or maybe both of us—additional heartache. And all along when you’ve come home to visit or we have our calls or e-mails, you seemed happy. I was glad for you, even though it was hard not to feel like…”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Feel like what?”
“Like your happiness out there was a judgement on me, and here.” He shook his head with a sigh. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’ve been thinking through all my messed-up feelings and I know part of why I’ve struggled to say what I want is that I don’t trust that you’ll choose to stay in Silverton, even if you know I want you to. And I should be brave and just shout it out there and deal with whatever comes, but I’ve also lived with feeling rejected for a decade. And that’s so selfish and pathetic—” he held up a hand with a wry smile to keep me from jumping in. “I know it is. You haven’t been rejecting me. We’ve been friends, and I’ve been happy with that. My life hasn’t been a misery since you left or anything, but it’s all piled up neatly in a stack of justifications for why I haven’t said what I’ve always wanted to. And it’s why what I’m about to say next is so hard.”
Nerves shot through me and my heart galloped. “Just tell me. Whatever you want to say.”
With a deep breath, his eyes held mine again as he spoke. “I want you to stay. Indefinitely. I want you to choose to stay in Silverton—to choose me. If you don’t, we can talk about?—”
I launched myself at him, practically jumping into his lap and wrapping my arms around him. He held me tight on reflex, then leaned back to study me, but I pulled his head down and kissed him. Once, twice, three times, and broke off to hold his head in my hands.
“I’m staying. I decided over the course of the last week that I wanted to stay even if we couldn’t make this work. So the pressure isn’t on you—if it doesn’t work with us, I’ll still be here. But I’m so so glad you’re saying you want me to stay.”
Joy swept over his face and he pulled me back to his embrace, kissing me with so much passion and feeling, my brain felt a little scrambled when he inched back. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”
“You sure? My staying doesn’t mean we have to get super serious or anything like that. We can keep it casual.”
One side of his mouth kicked up into a smile and he shook his head. “I’ve never felt anything remotely casual for you. Casual is for idiots who don’t know what they want.”
“And you do?” I asked, pressing small kisses along his jaw.
“Oh yes. I definitely do. I love you, and I want you with me always.”
Joy lit me up, and I reciprocated on a laugh. “I love you too, Cody. You’re not getting rid of me any time soon.”