Chapter 19 - Shawn
After my little face-off with Jackson, I back off a little and try to mingle, but I know that the damage is already done. He’s manipulated the situation perfectly to make sure these people see me as an enemy, not an ally.
It would be almost impossible to get these people to believe Jackson is the bad guy now. If I use any force to take over this pack, I’ll be a conqueror, not a savior.
“That didn’t go well,” Rex says, sidling up to me.
“I’m aware,” I reply, my voice a low growl of frustration.
“I can see what you mean about this place. If we bring in resources and tech, maybe they’ll see that all we want is to help.”
“Jackson will find a way to take credit for it,” I mutter, cracking my knuckles. “I wish I could just take him out.”
“So do I. I’m furious he made us kill his rival for him, but your instinct is correct. We have to hang back and get more information. I want hard evidence that he sent Talon to the slaughter. It will make his retribution far sweeter.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “But how many people will he hurt before that?”
“We’ll be watching him,” Rex says. “None of us is leaving until we sort this out.”
“It will look like an enemy occupation.”
“I know, but we can’t just leave you up here without backup.”
“I appreciate that,” I say, sighing with relief. “I can’t cover all the bases myself.”
For a few moments, we watch the party, the crowds of people laughing as they mingle, some of them singing and dancing. At different parts of the field, I see our people trying to join the festivities, but being shunned by the locals.
“At least they aren’t hostile,” Rex says.
“Near enough,” I reply. “They clearly don’t trust us, even though Scarlett and the other girls are going to so much trouble. Jackson has ruled this place with fear for so long. These people don’t know anything else. This feels like safety to them, and sudden abundance feels like a trap.”
Rex nods. “What about those elders you mentioned? The one who chose Talon—Leah. Where is she?”
“I don’t know,” I say after a moment, feeling a faint stab of worry in my guts. “Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen her for a while, and she definitely should have been at the hunt celebration.”
“We need to track her down,” Rex says. “She might be the only ally we have here.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I say. “She loved Talon, and she’s been shunning us from day one as his killer.
She disagreed with the attack on Eccles, and this is like doomsday for her—the confirmation of every ancestral fear.
Jackson has also made sure she’s discredited if she ever speaks against him. ”
“Sounds very neat and tidy,” Rex says, scowling.
“It is, and it gets worse. You see those guys over there? Those are his chosen few. They live pretty comfortably, and so does he. They help him maintain control, spreading his lies.”
“You know this?”
“Well. I know it, but I have no evidence.”
“We need to search their fucking houses,” Rex mutters.
“I concur, but then we look even more like invaders,” I say.
“I agree that we need to find Leah, but Jackson has made it look like she’s addle-brained.
No one will listen to her, even if we can convince her to come to our side.
The pack used to be split, but I’ve got a strong feeling that it’s not now, and Jackson has everything right where he wants it. ”
“Except us,” Brad says, grinning.
“Yes,” I reply, smiling back. “At least, I hope not.”
“Look,” Rex says, giving me a firm slap on the shoulder, “I know it looks bad right now. We will get to the bottom of it, though. Jackson will show his true colors, and we can help these people into the modern age.”
“I don’t know about that,” I whisper. “The legend of holy fire is what kept them up here. They are starting to forget the old stories, but if they mingle with your pack and Eccles, they are going to hear about the snake.”
“Shit!” Rex hisses. “I didn’t think of that.”
“Even if we take Jackson out and the pack support us, they’ll be terrified to learn about the serpent and the stone. I’m now a hundred percent sure that an incursion chased them up here and caused them to lock down against the rest of the world.”
“Fuck,” Rex curses, shaking his head. “What a goddamn mess.”
“You got it,” I agree. “I’m seriously thinking of sneaking up on Jackson and just quietly snapping his neck.”
“I wouldn’t blame you,” Rex says. “How about tracking down those elders? Could we get on that right now?”
“Sure,” I reply. “But remember, Leah is ten times as paranoid as Jackson. She sees you guys as the enemy and Talon’s murderer.”
“Well, doesn’t this just look like a piece of cake?”
“With a side of cherry pie,” I add, turning to head towards the house. “I’m going to find Sara, but I’ll catch up with you later.”
“How is that going?” Rex asks. “With all the shit that’s going on, I never thought to ask about your marriage.”
“It’s okay,” I sigh. “Everything’s fine.”
“Jesus,” Rex mutters. “That bad?”
“Worse.”
“Sounds like you’ve gotten awfully attached.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Crystal clear, actually. You’ve got it bad, bro.”
“She’s an amazing woman,” I say. “She suffered abuse from Jackson her whole life, but kept her sweet nature the whole time. I don’t know how to prove to her that I’m interested in her, not my connection to the pack.”
Rex shakes his head. “Just keep trying. That’s all you can do. Has she been able to give you any information on her father?”
“Some. She thinks Jackson is receiving goods from the human world and hoarding them—and this leads to Jackson’s father being alive.”
Rex lets out a low whistle.
“Nothing confirmed, though. I’m scared to ask because I don’t want it to seem like I’m working her for information.”
“Even though you are.”
“Thanks, Rex,” I mutter. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
Rex chuckles, giving me a mock salute. “Go and find your lady, and I’ll track you down later. All of us will be sleeping in the hall, but we’ll be working in shifts to keep a sentry on guard, just in case.”
“Wise decision,” I say. “See you around.”
I turn and cross the edge of the park, searching the crowd for the elders as I go. The sun has set, and shadows grow long around my feet as I walk. I can’t see Leah or Sara, and it’s really starting to worry me.
I wouldn’t put it past Jackson to kill Leah in cold blood. It’s not even necessary—most of the pack wouldn’t follow her—but Jackson is just that much of a bad person, he’d do it, anyway.
Before I turn up the path towards the house, I look down across the park and see Jackson and Melanie seated in a big crowd of people. They look like they’re holding court, and it makes me physically sick to see Jackson sucking up to the people he’s purposefully hurting.
How can he look at these hungry people in their threadbare clothes and promise them the world while denying them basic human rights?
I turn my back on the scene, sighing as if I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I want to see Sara, but thinking of her causes anxiety to bubble in my guts.
I’ve been trying as hard as I can to show her how I feel, but now I know only a full reveal is going to prove it to her—and that might backfire in my face.
I have absolutely no choice now. I have to give her the whole truth, and if she rejects me, then at least I’ll know I’ve done everything I possibly can.
When I turn down the path beside the hall, the noise of the party fades behind me, and I can hear crickets chirping happily in the grass. A warm breeze stirs the dust, and I catch a hint of Sara’s scent.
Maybe she’s waiting for me.
My heart falls a little when I see that the house is dark. I begin to have a horrible feeling, like maybe she’s disappeared and now I’ll never see her again.
Would Jackson hurt his own daughter? My God, I never thought of this before, but he would—I’m sure of it! The bastard sold her to me, for fuck’s sake!
As I enter the house and turn on some lights, my nerves begin to sing with tension. Sara has been valuable to Jackson up to now, but the moment he thinks she’s of no use, he wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of her.
I will tear him limb from limb if he fucking touches her, and I don’t give a damn if the pack ends up seeing me as a bloodthirsty dictator.
Just when I begin to really worry, I hear her light step on the front porch. I’m so relieved that I hurry into the hall and reach out for her, but she pulls away.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I was just relieved to see you. I was worried something might have happened.”
“Oh?” she says. “Like what?”
“I’m not sure,” I reply. “But it seems like people go missing a lot in this town.”
Sara narrows her eyes a little. “Do you mean Leah?”
“I meant a lot of people, actually, but yes, her as well. Didn’t your mother disappear?”
And Talon’s father and mother…how many others disappeared or died under mysterious circumstances?
“Yes,” she answers, her bottom lip trembling even as she tries to look tough.
“Some people say she ran away, and that’s what I prefer to believe.
I know what it’s like being stuck here, and traveling with a baby would have been impossible.
I like to think of her being out there somewhere, happy and free. ”
“But what about—” I stop myself just in time, realizing that I probably shouldn’t flat-out accuse her father of murdering her mother.
Sara’s eyes go cold, and her whole body goes still as if she’s in front of a snake about to strike.
“Don’t,” she says softly. “Just don’t.”
“Would you like to come into the kitchen for a drink?” I ask, trying to change the mood. “Maybe some dessert?”
Sara nods, gulping a little as she pulls herself together. “Yes, I’d like that,” she answers.
She looks so lost and miserable, I want to put my arms around her, but I know it would be intrusive and more to comfort myself than her.
My feelings for this woman grow by the day. I can’t forget those moments I held her in my arms, body and soul laid bare before me…and I fucked it up. I needed to manipulate her father, but there were ways of doing it that wouldn’t have hurt her.
Sara follows me into the kitchen, and I pour two glasses of brandy, mixing into them a dollop of cream and adding a little chilled coffee. When I set a glass down in front of Sara, she takes a sip and makes a small sound of pleasure.
“Wow,” she mutters, licking cream off her lip. “This is amazing. You really are excellent in the kitchen.”
“This isn’t advanced chemistry,” I laugh. “Just brandy, sugar, coffee, and lots of cream.”
“Well, whatever it is, I could get used to it.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I think about what I need to say and how I can possibly say it without her running from the room and cursing my name.
“I was thinking we should check on Leah,” I say.
“Oh, I did speak to Mal on my way up here,” Sara answers. “Apparently, he spoke to her this morning. She’s been ill.”
“I’d still like to check on her.”
“I agree, but they said she needs rest, and Seline has been looking in on her.”
“Okay,” I say, wondering if Leah coming down with something has anything to do with Jackson.
He could have poisoned her. She’s an old woman, and that’s a great way to make it look like natural causes.
I tap my fingers on the edge of my glass, looking absently at the ceiling. When I look back at Sara, she’s gazing straight at me, her eyes so big and dark, they look like the reflection of an abyss.
“Sara,” I choke out, nerves suddenly piling into my gut. “We need to talk.”
“I know,” she says, staring at me with a blank expression. “You’ve got some explaining to do.”
Her words seem to grab me by the throat, paralyzing my ability to speak. I came here specifically to tell her all my secrets, but now that she’s giving me the chance to do just that, it feels like cutting my chest open to bare my soul.
That’s exactly what it is, you fucking fool. This is the biggest test of your courage you’ll ever face. Are you really going to run from it?