Chapter 88
Chapter Eighty-Eight
FOUR DAYS LATER
~Harlow~
I thought after coming here and finding my sister that the rest would be easy.
That I would find my place here after a day or two, but I miss my Den, even though I despised being held prisoner in it.
It was driving me insane, yet being here is much of the same.
I have no place, not here, not even with my sister.
Zara was my home for so long, and I thought I would find that home again with her. But that isn’t the case. It is far from the relationship that I once found such safety in.
Now I have no home, and the home I crave is a toxic one.
What my instincts are telling me to go back to is bad for me; yet still I crave that familiarity.
Sitting here, watching my sister with her mates, getting the support and love she always craved and wanted within a pack, makes me feel even more lonely.
I’m like the third wheel, or ninth in this case.
Eight mates, I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact she has so many. Yet at this point, I would take any one of mine, even Thane’s overbearing ass, just to feel like I have someone, anyone. This is not my home, and she is no longer my safe place.
It’s so far from the reality we once shared that all I can see is the distance between us, how far removed we are from each other now.
We’re twins, connected in the most sacred and pure of ways, but she’s different now that she’s suffered a great loss.
She is no longer the girl I remember, and neither am I.
Gone are the two girls, once joined at the hip.
Polar opposites, yet one and the same. I’m Harlow again, an identity I just got back, but I’m not sure who that is anymore.
And Zara is traumatized, stuck in the loss of her daughter—stuck in a past I can’t relate to because I wasn’t there for her when she needed me.
I don’t know how to bring her back from the brink, just as she doesn’t know how to bring me back from the coldness that is taking me over.
We have become identical strangers. Our wants and needs changed over these last couple of years.
I’ve realized that I learned to live without her, learned to be on my own, and only now do I truly realize how alone I am.
No one in my corner, no one to watch my back, and I suddenly find myself walking a path I never expected. A path that we don’t share, but isn't solely mine either, and I now recognize the trauma that it causes me.
She left a bad place and found a home. I left a bad place and found loneliness, emptiness.
Zara carries children that will grow up feeling safe and loved, with support and stability.
The child I carry will have only me. I get no support, and once again, I find myself in that familiar, helpless place of having only myself to rely on.
I let myself believe, if only for a brief moment, that I had found a home. Even when I was locked in that dreaded Den. That place was miserable, but I had found comfort in my misery. It was mine, but I had lost that too.
I’m starting from scratch again, when I never really had scratch to begin with.
Back down the rabbit hole I go. I keep trying to crawl my way out, but I can’t seem to recreate any sense of home.
And that clarity smashes into me when Jake comes to sit with me on the huge verandah of the home that I will never have a place in.
“I made you hot chocolate,” he says, passing me the mug and handing me the blanket draped over his arm.
“Thanks,” I tell him, accepting the warmth the hot chocolate offers, while making sure not to touch him.
I feel contagious, like I’ve been infected with a plague.
Everyone is so careful to keep their distance.
I am so touch-starved that I suddenly miss the pack that I never wanted in the first place, and who never wanted me.
They are the one thing that was mine, yet I was denied that too.
“We’re worried about Zara,” Jake finally says after a few moments of stretched silence. I nod my head, knowing this was coming.
I know me being here is disrupting her. Having her so close disrupts me too. Omegas aren’t meant to be sister wives, which is funny to me, given we are sisters, yet my presence makes her uneasy. Just like Sarah being around my mates made me uneasy.
Zara sleepwalked into my room the other night.
My scent was in the kitchen, and it sent her on the hunt.
She almost attacked me before she regained her senses.
Before she recognized who I am to her. But for those few tense seconds when she entered my room, I feared for my life.
Because there is no way I could hurt her, not even to defend myself. Not when I just got her back.
“I’ll find somewhere in town to stay,” I tell him, looking out at the rolling hills that surround the place. It’s a slice of heaven out here, yet not even heaven would have me in this wide space.
Jake nods. His hand reaches out for mine before he pulls it back. I smile at him knowing it must be hard having two Omegas under one roof.
“We have a guest house at the back of the property if you’d prefer that. It’s close enough that you can come over to see her whenever you like. We usually only use it when Zara puts one of us in the doghouse,” Jake chuckles.
I nod my head, and he rises to his feet. “Zara is making breakfast. Although, I should warn you, she can’t cook for shit. Just smile and bear it, but don’t insult her. She thinks she is a master chef, and rarely cooks,” he laughs.
“Thanks, I will come in in a few minutes,” I tell him, and he goes to walk off, before pausing. He reaches into his pocket and hands me his phone. “Rhen called. Your mates are worried about you, Harlow. You should give them a call and let them know you’re okay."
“But Thane—”
“Thane won’t get past my borders without me knowing. You can call them, Harlow.”
“But if he comes here,” I panic, worried about my sister's state of mind.
“You can’t avoid them forever, and honestly, I’m surprised Thane hasn’t come here already—I know he watches his mates’ phones. Rhen, Raidon, and Leon have been blowing mine up trying to reach you.”
“You’re not worried about Thane?” I ask him. Jake shrugs.
“Yes and no. Yes, because I have his Omega, and I know what I would do if someone took mine. And no, because I know he won’t hurt you, not while you’re carrying his child. Thane has always wanted children, he just didn’t know it,” he tells me.
“You used to be close to Thane?” I ask him. He sighs.
“We have a strained relationship. Hana, his mother, was my godmother, Thane and I grew up around each other. We were always competitive. We never had a brotherly relationship. But Hana, I loved that woman as if she was my second mother.”
“But how does that prove he wants children?”
“Because it was Hana that bought you from the auction. Thane didn’t bid on you; it was his mother. He didn’t know about it until after he won. Hana played with his money, and she was the one that sent in his serum,” he laughs.
“That’s why she picked me up?”
“Yes, same reason I sent my mother to get Zara. It's better that way. Omegas are flighty and sometimes need a reassuring face, and who better than another Omega? Someone who’s been in their place."
“Hana was in a facility?” I ask him and he nods.
“Yes, with my mother and Elaine. They grew up in that place together,” Jake tells me and my brows furrow.
“When I found out Zara took your place, she told me what happened. We faked her death, hoping to bring you here and help you find a pack. But when I found out Thane was the winner, I knew you would be in safe hands; that Hana would look after you. But then she was killed, and you went missing.” Jake sighs and runs his fingers through his dark hair.
“My pack helped with the investigations, but we got nowhere, almost like some big cover up.”
“But Mr. Black gave your money back?” I asked him and he nodded. I feel kind of guilty, since I had suspected the Obsidian Pack for years, I just had no proof. He must read the thought on my face because he chuckles.
“You thought we were behind it?” he says, shaking his head.
“We gave the money to Omega Aid—Thane’s mother was a humanitarian, in a sense.
Hana tried to have the rotations banned.
The money I got back for Zara went to her charity to help Omegas get back on their feet once pulled from rotation.
Thane is building a sanctuary in his mother’s honor.
That was always her dream. He just bought the land for it recently.
I saw something in the paper about it a couple weeks ago, saying that he finally purchased the land and received the council approval for the go ahead. ”
My brows furrow, remembering the newspaper article he gave me on a new development. I never did find out what it was for. I didn’t see his name in the part of the article I read, but it makes me wonder if it’s the same development.
“And you thought I was guilty of killing her,” I tell him, and he shrugs but nods his head.
“Yes and no. Some things didn’t add up for me, or Thane. He was so blinded by his anger he put a bounty on you when he couldn’t locate you.” Now that surprises me, although it isn't overly shocking either.
“You contain his last serum, his last chance for the grandchild his mother always wanted. His mother pestered him constantly for an Omega, for you. Thane gave her his serum to shut her up. Hana told my mother it was like pulling teeth from him, but that she was going to show him what it means to have a complete pack. A real one, with an Omega that will love him and his mates, once he claimed them and they submitted to him.”
“But you said he wanted kids?” That doesn’t sound like he wanted any to me. Jake nods his head.
“He just didn’t know he did, until he saw how happy his mother was and how happy his pack was. They officially submitted to Thane after he won the bid. They knew once Hana placed the winning bid that they could officially become a pack. After Tara, she—”
“Tara?”
“Yes, my half-sister. She’s my father's first child. Her mother was a rotation Omega. She took all of Thane’s serum, but she was on birth control.
I tried to tell Thane not to take her as his Omega, that she only wanted his money after my family disowned her, yet he loved her, or thought he did.
Rhen refused to submit while Tara was around.
I think he knew something was off about her.
Thane believed once she got pregnant that Rhen would come around to her.
“Tara took nearly everything from Thane. Rhen is the one who pointed out the money was going missing.”
My stomach drops, learning that I wasn’t meant to be theirs. They originally intended to take Jake's sister. It also makes me wonder where she is, and I find myself asking.
“Is Tara—”
Jake waves me off. “You don’t need to worry about Tara; she’s dead. She got herself mixed up in some underworld issues with the vamps. She became one of their feeders, and well, we know how personal feeders end up,” he tells me, and I swallow.
“Thane caught her cheating, then discovered she had been stealing money from his fathers’ business.
Thane confronted her, and she ran off with her pimp.
They lost nearly everything, but they didn’t notice at first. She was their assistant.
That’s how it all started, Thane felt obligated to help her, since Hana was my godmother.
She then weaseled her way in by letting Leon feed on her,” he tells me, and I wonder if that was how his blood addiction started.
“Leon became addicted to her Omega blood. It fucked him up pretty badly, and he ended up in rehab after she died. It is also why Thane and I have a very unhealthy business relationship. I think he thinks I blame him, but I know my sister. That’s why I tried to warn him,” Jake tells me with a heavy sigh.
“Call your mates, Harlow,” he tells me pointing to the phone. “If Thane comes, and you don’t want to go, we’ll deal with it when the situation arises,” he tells me before wandering back into the house and leaving me with more questions than answers.