Track 6
‘EVERYBODY’S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME’ (THE KORGIS)
Adam didn’t speak to Lily for over a month after her admission she had slept with Elliot.
He had no right to be angry or disappointed, and he knew this when he thought rationally about it.
But it didn’t stop the rage from bubbling inside him every time he thought of her giving herself to the rockstar wannabe so freely.
What made things worse was that the relationship she had run headlong into fell apart soon after they’d had sex, just like Adam knew it would.
He wanted to comfort her, but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow it, and so it fell to Eve to be Lily’s shoulder to cry on.
Not that there had actually been any crying apparently.
He met up with Eve to walk back to his room after lectures finished for the day. They reached his uncharacteristically tidy room in the ex-local authority terraced house he shared with three other male students and sat cuddled together on the bed.
‘So… what did she say at lunch?’ he asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant.
Eve sighed and furrowed her brow. ‘I wish you two would just talk, for goodness’ sake. You’re both adults and I shouldn’t have to be your go-between. When I speak to her it’s all “Is Adders still mad? Has he said anything?” And then I come to you and get the same.’ She hit him with a cushion.
Adam huffed. ‘I know, I know. Seriously though, how is she?’
Eve rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his face. ‘She’s angry as hell at you but loves you to bits and hates all this angst between you.’
‘Is she upset about Pippi?’
She pushed his arm. ‘You need to stop calling him that. No, she’s not upset. They parted because… well… look, just speak to her.’
Adam sat upright. ‘Because of what? Please tell me, Eve. You’re worrying me.’
‘Look, she only slept with him to see what it was like. He turned her on and she wanted to try it. But when it came down to it, he wanted a relationship, and… well, she didn’t. Simple as that.’
‘Really? So she ended it?’
She kissed his nose. ‘Pretty much, Adam, yes.’
‘And you believe that?’ Adam couldn’t.
Eve shrugged. ‘Of course I believe her. I have no reason not to. Look, can I ask you something?’
He snuggled into her neck and kissed her. ‘Anything,’ he mumbled.
‘Why are you really so wound up about her sleeping with him?’
He stopped his ministrations and pulled back to gaze into her eyes. He huffed again and ran a hand through his hair. ‘I told her dad I’d watch out for her. I feel like I’ve let him down. She should’ve waited until she was in love. She should’ve let it be special. She deserves that, Evie.’
‘But, Adam, she’s not your responsibility. You need to let her breathe. You can’t protect her forever.’
‘Look, can we please stop talking about her? You and I are what matters here. Not my stubborn-arsed friend.’
He gently caressed her lower lip with his thumb. Leaning in to kiss her, he lowered her back on the bed and deepened the kiss.
All this talk of sex had got Adam thinking.
He had been seeing Eve for around six weeks.
He hadn’t tried to take things further. He respected her and wanted their first time to be special, not rushed at some stupid alcohol-fuelled house party.
The most they had done was kiss and touch a little.
She turned him on just by the way she returned his kisses and grasped his hair.
His every waking thought now had Eve’s smiling eyes and beautiful face slap bang in the middle of it.
But he would only take the next step for love.
His mouth stopped moving. His head snapped up and his eyes met hers.
Their blue depths were filled with lust but there was more there.
The realisation hit him like a ton of falling textbooks.
He loved her. He really, really loved her.
Shit. I’m actually in love. Suddenly he sat up and pulled away.
The worry that he saw flash in her eyes momentarily melted his heart, but he lowered his gaze.
Fear coursed through his veins, riding on the back of the adrenaline.
She touched her lips. ‘Adam… what is it? What’s wrong?’
He turned to her and touched her cheek. ‘Nothing… I’m fine, honestly.’
Her cheeks coloured rose-red. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ Her voice wavered as she spoke.
Shaking his head vehemently, he smiled. ‘No, not at all. I… I need to tell you something, but I’m scared you’ll run a mile.’
She backed away from him. ‘Oh God, Adam, what is it?’ The colour had drained from her face, and her eyes were wide. Clearly she feared the worst.
He pulled himself along the bed towards her. ‘Hey, stop.’ He took her hands in his. ‘It’s nothing bad. I just don’t know if it’s the right time… I’m scared, Eve.’ He gazed deeply into her azure eyes, trying to communicate his feelings so that she would understand.
His actions evidently didn’t help. She shook her head. ‘Just tell me… please. Whatever it is.’
He closed his eyes for a second, hoping to conjure up some courage to say how he felt while terrified he was about to blow everything.
Focusing on her once again, he took a deep breath. ‘Eve… I… I’m in love with you… I love you.’
Tears escaped her eyes and his heart sank.
She didn’t feel the same and he’d just ruined everything.
He sat upright, pulling his hands away and looked down at them where they twisted in his lap.
He closed his eyes again as he felt the bed dip.
She was leaving. He couldn’t bear to watch her leave, and so he kept his eyes closed tight.
He listened for the door but was greeted with nothing but a shuffling sound.
When he finally dared to open his eyes, he lifted his gaze to find her kneeling before him on the bed.
She lifted her hand to cup his cheek. ‘Adam… I love you too.’
Relief washed over him, and he thought his heart might burst with this new realisation. He leaned to kiss her but before he had the chance she reached out and began to unbutton his shirt, her eyes locked on his and a flush of pink once again highlighted in her face.
He covered her hand with his. ‘Evie, we don’t have to do this now. I’m so happy that you feel the same, but we don’t need to rush. I’m not Elliot. I’m happy to wait.’
She tilted her head and pinned him with her love-filled gaze. ‘I don’t want to try to plan for this to be perfect. I don’t want to put pressure on either of us by saying we’ll do this on that day, in that place.’
He swallowed as her fingertips got to work once again but doubt had set in. He inhaled a shaking breath and admitted, ‘But I want it to be perfect and what if it’s not?’
She smiled her usual breathtaking smile.
‘What makes it perfect is that it’s me and you.
We have all the time in the world to perfect things.
We’ll learn. But tonight, we have all night.
I’ve never done this before and although I don’t know for sure about you, I get the feeling that maybe you’ve never done this either? ’
‘No… never. I’ve never felt enough for anyone to go that far.
’ His stomach twisted at his own admission.
He wanted to be the experienced one. He wanted to rock her world and make her see stars but felt disappointed in himself.
On the other hand, it dawned on him that they were about to share this most intimate and special thing with each other.
She slipped the shirt from his body and discarded it on the floor. She was braver than he gave her credit for. He had always assumed that, if it got to this stage, she would be the shy one. He now realised how very wrong he was.