Chapter 11
Hannah
I wasn’t sure how long I slept. All I knew was that when I shifted on the bed, I would wince in pain. It felt like a train had run me over, and quickly, the memories of the night before came crashing in.
Someone broke into the gallery.
I let out a breath, allowing my eyes to flutter open as the morning sun poured in through the window. And though I couldn’t see him, I knew I wasn’t alone. I didn’t trust myself to not cry, not when my emotions were everywhere after the break in.
The bed dipped next to me, a familiar warmth filling the room in his presence.
The exhaustion made my thoughts cloudy.
My eyelids were heavy, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to stay awake all day, but I had been sleeping long enough and needed to get out of bed. I looked at the man sitting next to me, his gaze tender and full of concern. Derek’s hand rested on my waist, and I told myself I didn’t have the energy to push it away, but the truth was that I found comfort in his touch.
I always did.
Wordlessly, he reached to the nightstand next to the bed and helped me sit up, bringing a glass of water to my lips. I swallowed; my throat grateful as the cold liquid soothed its dryness.
“What time is it?” I asked, leaning back against the bed.
“A little past noon.”
“Oh.”
“How do you feel?”
“Sore.”
His lips pressed into a tight line. He didn’t do a good job hiding his anger. I could feel it, even when he tried to contain it.
“How were the girls?”
His face lit up. “Perfect. They are playing in their playpen right now.”
I should let him spend more days with them.
“I prepared a bath for you. The water should be warm right now so...I’ll wait in the living room.”
He didn’t say anything else and disappeared into the hallway while my ass stayed glued to the bed. I found it hard to admit that I enjoyed his company...that it was nice to have someone caring for me rather than doing it on my own.
But he would always care for me.
I knew it, even if deep down I wanted him to walk away and leave me to fend for myself.
It would be easier to hate him that way.
Every single bone in my body ached as I walked to the bathroom. I tossed my clothes to the floor, my focus turning to the bubbles in the bath as I dipped a foot in first.
A grateful sigh left my lips as I slid in, relaxing into the warm water that soothed my aching body. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the edge.
I wasn’t sure how long I laid there...long enough for the water to turn cold and my body to erupt into goosebumps. I would have slept there if I could, but I stood, rinsing myself and then stepping out of the tub. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes falling on the ugly bruise on my abdomen.
Derek had looked at me with so much anger, I was sure he would murder whoever had touched me.
By the time I pulled an oversized shirt on and some leggings, it was past one.
The cooing of my daughters filled the air as did Derek’s quiet chuckle as I walked toward them. My girls squealed when they saw me, their innocent smiles lightening the tension on Derek’s shoulders.
He held me all night.
And still, it wasn’t enough.
The need of being in his arms made me want to crawl out of my own skin, but I couldn’t help it. Not as he sat there, glancing at me from the sofa, like he belonged there…in my house, my life.
All I knew was that the man in my home was the man that could make me feel safe, even when the world around me was falling apart. I loved him, try as I might to forget him...I couldn’t. I never would.
And I was sure he loved me, too.
We’d opened up to each other, seen the other’s darkness and still...that feeling persisted.
It had to be love, right?
Being there despite seeing the worst parts of someone. Loving them despite it. Feeling light with him even though there was a heaviness in my heart that wouldn’t disappear.
My stomach growled, and Derek raised an eyebrow. He held out a bowl as I sat next to him, and the smell invaded my senses.
The chicken soup smelled delicious.
“You should eat.”
I had forgotten what a great cook he was. “It smells delicious.”
Derek chuckled, handing me a napkin with a twinkle of amusement shining in his eyes. I finished the soup in silence, every now and then glancing at him as he typed something into his phone. Our girls giggled, and I smiled despite the trauma I”d faced the night before. With a sigh, Derek set his phone down next to him, his green eyes lingering on the bruise on my face.
“My mother wasn’t much of the caring type but I remember one time Dylan got really sick. He couldn’t even get out of bed. I was around four...maybe five, and she asked me to help her cook a chicken soup for him. She chopped everything up like a pro and I helped her, handing her ingredients as if I knew what the hell I was doing. She told me it was something that should never be eaten out of those ‘goddamn Campbell cans.’” Derek shrugged; his gaze distant with the memory. “Maybe it’s because it was one of the few times I remember her being clean...but I remember it clearly.”
My chest tightened.
Derek rarely talked about his mother, and hearing one of the good memories he had with her made my stomach flutter. He loved her. I didn’t have a doubt. Sadly, she’d hurt him too much.
“Dylan called me yesterday morning.”
My eyes widened. “He did? What did he say?”
“He said he’s ready to meet Evie.” He sighed, running a hand over his face.
“Are you okay?”
His forehead creased, as if surprised that I cared.
But of course I did.
I always would.
I could fight it and rebel against it all I wanted, but Derek and his happiness were more important to me than I cared to admit. Evie and he had waited for that moment for a long time.
“Dylan isn’t too bad.” He nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. “And Evie is strong. Maybe it won’t be easy and there will be many difficult conversations, but she’s gotten to know you. She deserves to know him, too. And if he decides to walk away then it’s on him. Evie won’t push him away.”
Thoughtful, Derek nodded. “Look at you, being the voice of reason.”
I gasped, shoving him slightly with my hand. “You know I can be perfectly logical when my emotions aren’t involved.”
It was easier to breathe talking to him this way...as if nothing had ever happened between us. As if there were no scars, no damage. It was why I had fallen for him in the first place.
I missed it.
More than the man I loved, Derek had been my best friend.
I trusted him with my secrets, my desires...everything I didn’t dare to say out loud. He never judged me, never pointed a finger at me despite knowing I was making countless mistakes.
“Thank you for being here.” He reached out, brushing his knuckles against my cheek and for once, I didn’t pull away. “I don’t think I would have been able to sleep had you not been with me.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond, instead standing and taking my plate to the kitchen. I set it down in the sink and turned around only to find him standing behind me. I let out a quiet gasp when I saw the expression on his face.
His green eyes were dark, but oh so beautiful.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he whispered, brushing a strand of my hair away from my face. It was too familiar. Too right. “I told you, Hannah. I’m here. For whatever you need.”
My body heated.
There was an unspoken promise in his words, one I could feel in every cell in my body, but I shoved it away until he spoke again.
“I won’t let anyone lay a finger on you, Hannah. Not again.” His hand dropped to my abdomen, underneath my shirt and settled on the area of the bruise. His touch burned.
His jaw clenched as his dark gaze scanned my body but settled on my eyes again.
If he could feel my heart rate pick up, he didn’t show it.
“Does it hurt?”
“Only when I move.”
My voice was a mere whisper, and it became harder to breathe with him looking at me like he was about to set the world on fire for me. My hands held on to the counter because I needed something to ground me when his touch raised my shirt bit by bit.
I should have stopped him.
I should have pushed him away and told him no.
But the way he was looking at me left me speechless.
And despite the pain…his touch felt good.
He knelt in front of me, his thumb brushing over the bruise and the tip of his nose brushed the skin of my stomach.
I shuddered.
I was sure he could see the goosebumps forming on my body but I couldn’t move, not when his soft lips pressed against my ribcage. I sucked in a breath, watching him as his lips moved once again and I felt the warmth of his tongue on my abdomen.
“Fuck...Hannah…”
His green eyes, dark and full of desire and anger, met mine as he knelt in front of me, his lips leaving a trail of warmth as they traveled down, near the waistband of my sweatpants and oh…I was about to implode. My chest heaved…my heart raced, and it was all for the man that held me captive with his touch…and he hadn’t even touched me where I needed it yet.
My hands trembled again, but it was for a different reason, as they tangled in his soft brown hair. His hands tugged at my sweatpants gently…seeking for permission and I didn’t say yes…but I didn’t stop him.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
A quiet moan left my lips as his tongue licked the soft skin of my stomach and his hands held on to my legs, digging into my thighs as his nose brushed the most intimate part of my body, covered only by thin lace. He breathed me in and groaned, sending a wave of desire through my body that made me weak.
Until there was a knock at the door.
And then it opened.
Derek reacted quickly, pulling my pants up and letting my shirt cover me, all of it before I could even remember how to breathe. I looked away, the reality of what I’d let him do crashing into me.
I let him touch me.
I nearly let him taste me.
My eyes fell to the bulge in his pants, his desire for me evident as he turned around, running a hand through his hair as he quietly cursed.
“I brought you sweets!” Evie’s voice carried from the entrance to the kitchen and her footsteps followed. She appeared with a huge smile, one that would have lit up the room had it not been for what she had stopped. “Is everything okay?”
Her gaze flew from me to Derek, then back to me.
“Everything is fine,” Derek said, before excusing himself.
I could lie to myself all I wanted…I knew it was only a matter of time before I gave into him once again.
I knew that I would fall harder than before.
And I wouldn’t be able to stop it.