Chapter 12
Derek
I couldn’t forget the look in her eyes.
I couldn’t forget the taste of her skin as she let me kiss her.
Fuck…it wasn’t enough.
I craved her.
Craved having every inch of her body, craved hearing my name leaving her lips…the sounds of her pleasure. And she still did, too. I hadn’t missed the way her pupils dilated, the way her breathing had turned heavy with every stroke of my tongue, or the way her fingers had pulled on my hair, urging me on when I’d lowered her pants.
I couldn’t forget the smell of her desire or the small moan she was unable to keep contained.
I’d gone home and jerked off to her, to the memory of her lips and the feel of being inside her and it wasn’t enough.
Nothing ever was…not unless I could make her mine.
I downed a glass of water, hoping it would ease my parched throat when there was a knock at the door. It was late, and the only person who ever visited so late was Lisa and if I was right, the door would open in a few seconds.
And sure enough, it did.
She burst into my apartment, her usually infectious smile doing nothing for me, even when she offered me a chocolate filled croissant.
“Damn. What’s wrong with you?” Lisa sat on my sofa, propping her feet on the end table.
“What do you want? It’s late.”
She grinned. “I have the perfect opening date for the restaurant.”
I groaned. I couldn’t focus on anything. Hadn’t been able to for the last twenty-four hours. The break in at the gallery, Hannah’s breakdown…my desire for her. Everything was too fucking much.
“When?” I asked.
“How about right before the New Year?” Lisa wiggled her eyebrows, awaiting my answer. She looked too fucking excited, and I couldn’t be the one to take that away from her.
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“I know. I came up with it.” Lisa squealed, clapping her hands. “I have so many ideas, Derek. Tomorrow, I’ll show you everything…my timeline, the arrangements. I think you’re going to be so excited.”
I hummed, leaning back against the sofa and closing my eyes.
I was fucking exhausted.
“You know…I’m trying to cheer you up. You’ve been acting weird. I know the break in was serious…but is there something else going on?”
I need to fuck Hannah out of my system.
“Everything is peachy.”
Lisa snorted. “Now I know something is wrong.”
I said nothing, and she didn’t press the issue. She knew me better than to do so. But she waited. Lisa always did.
She gave me room to think and process, and for that I would always be thankful.
“You should invite Hannah.”
Now it was my turn to look at her like she was crazy because she had to be to suggest that.
“I’m serious,” she shrugged. “It’s neutral territory, I think. And it’s a public place where you two could spend time together. Plus…how nice would it be if you make a speech and include her in it.” She let out a dreamy sigh and I chuckled. Definitely crazy. “You would totally win her over.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Well, you spent the night with her yesterday, right?”
And was about to do more.
“C’mon. You’re crazy about her and I know she is, too.”
My phone buzzed, and for once, I was thankful for the interruption. I hated the common sense that came out of her mouth, specially when I completely lacked it.
“Oh! Signs, signs everywhere,” she said, handing me my phone.
Sure enough, it was Hannah…and it was a video call.
“Pretend I’m not even here,” Lisa mouthed, encouraging me.
And hell, even if I didn’t want her to hear the conversation, there was no way I’d decline it. I needed to hear her voice.
Needed to know we were okay after what happened.
Her beautiful face appeared on the screen but soon, it wasn’t her anymore and instead it was focused on our girls who slept in their cribs.
“They refused to nap after you left,” she whispered. I could hear the smile in her voice, even if I couldn’t see it. “I figured you could see how tired they are after a day without their sleep.”
I chuckled, listening to her footsteps as she walked. The camera focused on her once again but now she was sitting on her bed, the headboard behind her visible. Her hair was up in a bun and her shoulders were exposed with her tank top, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the terrible bruising on her face.
The anger simmered.
“How are you feeling?”
Her lips tilted up. “I’m okay. The police are looking into what happened and gave Nate a little more information, but not enough. And Evie asked a whole lot of questions.”
I nodded. “Of course she did. She’s worried about you.”
Hannah shook her head. “Not about that. About us.” She bit her lip. She looked away. She did everything to try to keep herself from saying the words, but my brave woman said them anyways. “I didn’t want to stop you.”
Lisa gasped. I stuck up my middle finger and walked to my bedroom closing and locking the door behind me. She didn’t need to hear this conversation.
“You didn’t try, Hannah.”
She hummed.
“You can fight this all you want…we both know how this ends.”
“And how do you think that is?”
I scoffed. “Do you really want me to tell you?” Hannah nodded, one of her hands rubbing her neck. She was stressed, tense. I wanted nothing more than to relieve her of all of it. “With me buried between your legs.”
Her eyes widened.
Her lips parted.
And my cock stirred.
“That’s not a good idea,” she finally replied.
“It isn’t. But it’s going to happen.”
There was silence. Complete silence as she considered her words.
But when she spoke, she left a path of destruction behind.
“I don’t want you to touch me again.”
Ah, there’s the knife.
“It shouldn’t have happened, Derek. And if it does…it’ll be a huge mistake.”
“Will it though?”
“Yeah. It would. And it’s not one I will make again.” She let out a breath. So soft. So quiet. But I could see how torn she was. “I can’t think when you touch me,” she whispered. “I can’t think when you make me feel those things.”
“What do I make you feel?”
I could see the hesitation on her face. The way she hated that I was pushing for answers, but I needed her to say it. I needed to hear it to know that it wasn’t all in my fucking head.
“Like I’d let you bend me to your will.”
The words were breathless, but full of truth. We both knew it.
“So please, Derek…don’t touch me again.”
I nodded.
I’d agree to it.
I’d agree to anything because her words gave me some fucking hope.
I hung up the call, leaving my phone on the bed before walking back to the living room. Lisa still sat with a playful smile on her lips.
“Spill it. Now.”
I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her, making sure I missed and all she did was laugh.
“Something happened between you two, huh?”
“You could say that.”
Lisa jumped to her feet, clapping her hands once again…like a goddamn child. “I knew it. Derek. You two can’t keep your hands off each other.”
“Well, she just asked me to keep my distance, so there goes that.”
Lisa’s eyes softened, but she approached me, placing her hands on my shoulders.
“I still think you should invite her, Derek. Listen…the worst that can happen is she says no. But if she doesn’t…there’s a chance. You know it.”
If I pushed too much, Hannah would run.
”How about you invite Blake?” Lisa glared at me, and I chuckled, pulling her in for a hug. ”We can see who settles their issues faster. ”
Her eyes narrowed. ”Ha ha. Really funny.”
Our fallout had affected everyone around us, even if at the time I hadn”t noticed.
I held her in silence, both of us lost in thought of everything that had slipped through our fingers.
”Lisa?” She pulled away from me, glancing up at me with a tender smile. ”You know I appreciate everything you do, right?”
“I know.”
“You don’t,” I said. “I quite literally wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you.”