Chapter 13
Hannah
I waited at the restaurant, impatient. I didn’t like to wait, and I was already frustrated that Nathan had canceled on me. Now I hoped Derek didn’t too. I sighed, running my hand over my face. Mom wouldn’t be happy that I struck a deal with Mr. Hensley despite her opposition, but she had to trust my decisions, too, didn’t she? After all, it was my signature on most of the contracts at the company. She wasn’t the one getting her hands dirty. Thanks to her tactics we had more than we could ever need, and I supposed it was something to be thankful for, but it made me hesitant as to what could happen in the future.
For once, I wanted to strike a deal that was legal. A deal that had no strings attached, no ulterior motive. And Derek Hensley...he made me want to do just that. Perhaps it was because his main goal was to help people in his restaurant rather than finding profit, he made me want to lend a hand without taking anything else.
I swallowed thickly as I watched him open the door to the outdoor patio of the restaurant. His lips tilted up with a smile and he unbuttoned his suit jacket, removing it before placing it on the chair. He leaned in, greeting me with a quick kiss on my cheek, the action sending a tingle down my body just like the way it had the first time he did it.
“Sorry for running late. I had a meeting. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
Clearing my throat, I shook my head. “No, not at all. I hope your meeting went well.”
Derek shrugged. “It went okay. I love having my restaurant but strongly despise the business aspect of it.”
“That’s the part I love.” I smiled and he chuckled. His emerald eyes took a shine with the action that made me falter for a moment. Nathan had beautiful eyes, but they didn’t take my breath away like Derek’s did. They never had. “Anyway,” I took out a folder with paperwork and placed it in front of him, an action that made him cock a perfect eyebrow. “This is the paperwork. We are very good with our clients. We handle marketing for all social media, billboards, online pages, and we cater to our upscale clientele, though we handle all types of businesses. However, we would like to--”
Derek shook his head, watching as the waiter poured us both a glass of wine. I drank all of mine in one gulp. I found Derek unnerving. I couldn’t read him.
He didn’t even touch his.
“You’re all business, aren’t you? If you’re nervous about me signing with you—”
I flushed, my hands trembling underneath the table. What the fuck is wrong with me? “Nervous? No. Of course not. I’ve been doing this for years and—” Derek raised his hands in defense, though a smile played on his lips. “I know we can offer you the best deal. Your business is already booming, and we’ve done wonders for restaurants like yours.”
“Like mine, huh? What exactly does a business like mine entail?” Derek asked.
I swallowed. A business like his?
What the fuck does he mean?
“You seem nervous, Hannah. Maybe if your husband was around, you wouldn’t be.” I felt myself tense. “Though that’s not it, is it? You two don’t have much of a relationship, do you? Marriage of convenience, perhaps?”
“We’re not here to discuss my relationship with my husband.”
Derek let out a soft chuckle, sitting back. “Fair enough. I’m not interested in making a deal so that my business will be prosperous and I’ll become some rich New York businessman and afford the biggest penthouse in the city, but that’s the type of people you help, no?”
“Not necessarily.”
He nodded. “I’ve done my research, Hannah. And I’ve hung around your family enough to know that all you seek is profit. I want my business to do well enough that I can help get more people off the street, help them get back up. My mother...” Derek sighed, his eyes losing the hopeful glimmer they held. “My mother was an addict, looking for her next hit. I watched it all. She had no support. No help. My oldest brother ran away as soon as he could, and I was stuck with her watching her lose her battle. I want to help people...give them a place to turn to. Many people go to rehab only to find they don’t have a place to live or work, and then they fall back on drugs or alcohol. I don’t need fancy marketing. I don’t need you to promote us as the most upscale restaurant in New York. I need you to promote us as what we are: a place where we help recovering addicts that serves delicious French cuisine. Can you do that? Is that something your company can offer?”
I stared at the man in front of me. He was nothing like the type of man I was used to...always searching for something in return. He wanted to give. And his childhood...
“It’s funny how we’re products of our environment, hm?” I looked down, surprised at the words that had come out of my mouth but not once regretting them. It felt nice to say it. It was the truth after all. He was trying to find the good out of a terrible childhood and there I was...contemplating how to not rip him off.
I cleared my throat, pouring myself another glass of wine because I sure as hell needed it. “Mine wasn’t as bad, of course...but all I remember from my childhood is business, business, business. I don’t think I’ve ever had dinner with a friend without it being linked to a contract that I needed signed.”
He gave me a crooked smile. “That sounds like torture. You should go out. Tell your husband to take you on a trip of some sort.”
I rolled my eyes. Nathan was adventurous, but not with me. Being married to me had sucked the life out of him. I was surprised I hadn’t done the same to Evie.
“Nathan and I are only married on paper.” I bit my lip, his gaze following the action. Derek was making me say things...admit things I never had the courage to do before. The air around us thickened, making it harder to breathe. For a few seconds neither of us said a word, though I desperately wanted to know what was on his mind. My heart hammered in my chest as he scoffed, shaking his head, like he couldn’t believe what was happening between us.
“What a fucking shame.” His green eyes darkened ever so slightly, but I couldn’t tear my own from his. He held me captive like no one else had. “If you were my wife...there’s not a thing I wouldn’t show you.”
Oh, God.
What are you doing, Hannah?
My mind traveled to the endless possibilities. To all the wrong things he could do to me that I would enjoy, to how right it would feel because everything about Derek Hensley felt...right.
And that was a terrifying thought.
Never had I felt so out of control, so vulnerable with anyone, much less a man I had known for a few weeks.
“I think dinner is over, right?”
My mind knew exactly what I should say, exactly what my mother would advise. But my heart...the thing I had ignored for much of my life, screamed I should go with him. Begged for me to forget my chaotic life and enjoy a quiet night with the man who sat across from me.
And for the first time, I would listen.
***
We arrived at a beautiful apartment complex. I smoothed down my dress as Derek offered me his hand and we stepped out of the cab, forcing myself to ignore the shivers that erupted throughout my body at his touch.
“Where are we?” I asked as we walked inside. A beautiful crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling and a smile formed on my lips. It wasn’t that it was expensive, it was that it was breathtakingly beautiful. The cherry wood detail that adorned every wall made the lobby seem like a welcoming place. Like home. Or perhaps it was the way Derek still hadn’t let go of my hand that made me feel that way.
“Just come with me,” he said.
We stepped into an elevator, and he pressed the top floor. It seemed eternal, with people coming in and out but with every glance we stole from each other, the time that passed didn’t seem to matter. Finally, we arrived at the top floor. I frowned when all I saw when we stepped out of the elevator were stairs.
“Sorry, love. We’re almost there.”
The term of endearment filled me with warmth.
The steps were well worth it. We reached the rooftop of the building, and the sight took my breath away. The whole city was visible—the city that never sleeps was indeed awake in the middle of the night, showing the world its beauty in a way that I had never appreciated.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered.
“Yes. Indeed.” I looked back at him only to find him staring at me with green eyes that held so many promises within them. “Are you happy, Hannah?”
“Right now?” Derek nodded. “Yes. I am. In fact, I don’t think I’ve felt this happy in a long time.”
He reached out, the back of his hand caressing my cheek. I should have pulled away, should have hit the brakes then and there but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. “You should divorce him.”
Scoffing, I replied, “Really? Why?”
Derek smiled. “Well, reason number one, clearly, you’re both unhappy, if not you would be back home with him, not with me. And number two...that way I can kiss you.”
My eyes widened as Derek ran a thumb over my bottom lip.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about it, too. Since the moment we met. Like you don’t feel it. I can read you like a book, Hannah. You don’t have to pretend with me. That’s why you’re still here, letting me touch you, letting me tell you this.”
He was right. I didn’t know how, didn’t know why, but I was an open book to him, and I didn’t want to fight it. And for once, I wanted to do something reckless.
“So, if I tell you that I want you to kiss me now...would you do it?”
He smirked. “You haven’t said it yet.”
I wanted to take the leap. I wanted to desperately fall into the abyss with him, but I was terrified. My heart beat wildly and my fear became palpable, the fight within me raged as I considered how to get the words out, how to be vulnerable. He sensed it. His gaze softened and he cupped my face in his hands, before he leaned in and whispered against my lips, “Do you want me to kiss you?”
“Yes.”
He closed the distance between us, pressing his lips against mine and making the world around us spin. His lips were soft against mine and my body molded against his, Everything about it was perfect, from the way his arms wrapped around my body and he pulled me close to him, to the way his heart beat steadily against my hand on his chest, Derek was everything I longed to feel, everything I longed to hold. He deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance and I let him, my lips parting as he tasted me. I moaned softly, the sensation foreign after such a long time without feeling someone’s touch. I gasped as his lips left mine and he kissed my jaw, my neck, breathing me in as if there was no tomorrow.
And maybe for us there wouldn’t be.
“Do you want to stop?”
I should.
I should’ve ended everything then and there, but instead I shook my head. His eyes were dark with desire but he kissed me again, this time without control and he groaned against my mouth, lifting me up as my legs wrapped around his waist. He carried me to a bench, and I straddled him, watching his eyes drop to my heaving chest.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered against my neck, his kisses dropping to my shoulder as he lowered the strap of my dress. I felt the bulge in his slacks, and I smiled at the fact that I had that effect on him. His hands skimmed my legs and then under my dress, to my panties. He hummed against my skin as his hand found my lace-covered core, already wet and ready for him. My lips parted as he moved them to the side and he ran his finger down my slit, his finger sliding in with ease. My hips moved, desperate for friction and his lips found mine again. The raw hunger in his touch made me feel beautiful...wanted.
It wasn’t something I could let go.
My trembling hands found his belt, his zipper, and I made quick work of it as he continued his assault on my neck, and his fingers continued teasing me. He groaned when I took him in my hand, his length hard and desperate to be inside of me. “Do you have a condom?” I whispered.
I was on birth control but...
“I’m clean,” he replied, pulling back and his gaze meeting mine once again.
I swallowed and held on to his shoulders, shuddering as his length rubbed against my core. “Oh, god,” I moaned as he pushed inside of me slowly, stretching me out completely. His eyes remained fixed on my face, his grip around my waist strong and steady as he sank into me in full.
It was a few seconds...only a few in which neither of us moved, in which all that existed was that moment, where he filled me up completely and he took from me what I had guarded for years.
My heart.
I knew then that no one would look at me like him, no one would make me feel like him.
It was the moment I knew...I was falling for Derek Hensley and I would never, ever, get back up.
I ran. From the past, from the memory.
I ran so fast my heart was about to explode out of my chest. And then I stopped in front of Evie’s house. I went out for my run alone this time, and I was thankful. I needed to keep the memories to myself…tucked deep inside my brain…so distant that maybe they would disappear. I walked into their house, ignoring Nathan’s curious glance as I drank water.
“I’m going to use your shower.”
“Go right ahead. Derek will be here shortly.”
Groaning, I headed to their restroom while he chuckled.
I can’t keep running away from him.