Chapter 24
Some things would never change.
She laid back with her eyes closed, surrounded by the water and people, and yet, it was like Hannah was all by herself. The night sky illuminated the world around them as Evie laughed with the rest of the family. Yet Hannah, lost in her own world, didn’t interact unless they spoke to her. I watched from the window, holding Annie in my arms as she fell asleep and Isa as she slept in her small swing. They were so much like Hannah, in every way, though she would never recognize that as a good thing.
They had her strength, I could see it, even if they were only months old.
I’d spend the rest of my life protecting them—all three of them—taking care of their heart, guarding their happiness.
“I can watch the girls for you, if you want to get out there with them.” Deborah stood next to me, her gaze following mine and settling on the group of people in the hot springs. “The girls are asleep and we have Lily and Noah, too.”
“Are you taking on the role of family babysitter?”
Deborah smiled, placing her hand on my shoulder. “I am taking on the role of grandma. Now, get going before the girls wake up. I know where the diaper bag is and if I need anything I’ll call you. If you’re not back by midnight, I’ll assume the girls are sleeping with me and I will go to bed.”
“Yes ma’am.” I saluted her and she waved me off with a shake of her head.
In a few minutes, I was out in the cold, heading to the hot springs where their voices were louder than ever. Hannah saw me approaching and finally, her eyes lit up and she smiled, as if that’s why she had been quiet.
“Look who decided to come out of his shell,” Dylan said as I took off the layers of my clothing, until I was down to my shorts. I decided not to reply and instead jumped in the water, making sure they got the brunt of the splash. I chuckled when they all started to throw water back at me but I didn’t give a damn, not as I swam to Hannah who remained by herself at the edge.
“Deborah offered to take the girls, huh?” I placed my arms on both sides of her body as she spoke, watching how her tongue traced her bottom lip. She looked stunning like that, under the light of the moonlight, with nothing much on other than a swimsuit and a flimsy t-shirt.
Her shaky exhale gave her away as she noticed my eyes roaming her body.
They all stared at us, but I didn’t give a damn.
“I thought you weren’t going to come out here,” she continued. I loved when she was nervous. It wasn’t something I saw often but when I did, when she showed me a glimpse of her vulnerability, I took it. She didn’t allow herself to feel that way with just anyone.
“Well, it’s fucking freezing.”
“Not in the water.”
I gave a small laugh, watching how her eyes avoided mine. Something was going on in that pretty little head of hers...and I was going to find out.
“I have a deal to make with you,” I said, reaching up and caressing her cheek. Her eyes widened for a second, but she didn’t push me away.
“What is it?”
“Honesty.” She swallowed thickly, but my brave woman held my gaze. “I want us to be honest with each other. I’m not sure what the hell we are, if this is a relationship or not, if you want it to be labeled as that, but I need you to tell me the truth all the time. Doubts, anger, sadness...anything. I want you to tell me. I will do the same. Can we do that?”
Her eyes twinkled in the dark as she gave me a single nod.
“The main thing that stands between us, is us.” I ran my hands down her arms, feeling the goosebumps that coated her skin, hoping I could comfort her. I was asking a lot from her...from myself...but I wanted things to work between us now more than ever. “And I want to try this out, Hannah. I want to take advantage of every second with you from now on, okay?”
Cautious, she answered, “There’s still something you don’t know.”
The pang in my chest told me it was serious. “What is it?”
Hannah’s mouth opened and closed and she looked away, shaking her head as she played with the hem of her shirt underneath the water. “I want to tell you, Derek, I do...but I don’t feel ready.”
“Why not?”
Her lips tilted up to a sad smile and she shrugged, as if ashamed. “I don’t want you to look at me differently.”
She could have said many things, yet none of them would tear at my insides like the words she’d chosen.
I don’t want you to look at me differently.
“It was after our fallout and I just...I wasn’t thinking straight...my judgment was clouded by sadness and anger and...”
“Did you hurt someone?”
“Not in the way that you think,” she whispered.
Hannah’s brown eyes held mine, and I could see how hard this was for her. How much it took from her to have this conversation.
“Okay...will you tell me when you’re ready?”
Shoulders relaxing, Hannah reached up, placing a small kiss on my lips. She lingered there with her eyes closed, savoring the moment as my hands traveled to her waist, holding her to me, afraid that she would disappear. “I will. Thank you for being patient.” Her arms wrapped around my neck and a small pout formed on her lips before she spoke again. “And I do want this to be called a relationship, because that’s what it is, right? You and me...no one else. At least I don’t have anyone else in mind. Although...”
I cocked an eyebrow watching how her expression took on a playful glint. “Although, what?”
“Well, if I just happen to run into Jason Momoa one day...I can’t say no to him, right?”
I snorted. She was pushing my buttons. “Keep that up, Hannah, and you won’t be able to think of anyone else’s name but mine.”
A wide grin spread across her face. “I would love that.”
I took her lips in mine, hearing her soft sight as she relaxed into my arms, forgetting everyone else. I was done trying to keep it all wrapped up when the feeling was about to burst out of my chest. The woman made me feel everything tenfold, so fucking intense it felt like I couldn’t breathe. She moaned softly as my fingers dug into her hips and my erection pressed against her belly, but she didn’t seem to care. I deepened the kiss as her hands settled on my chest, not breaking apart until we heard cheers from the other side of the water.
Hannah pulled away with a smile playing on her lips. “I love you,” she whispered.
Even if she wouldn’t have said it, I would have known. It was like the wall that once guarded her heart had been demolished, nothing more than its cruel memory left. She leaned in, nuzzling my neck, forgetting there were others with us...her need to keep our relationship private long gone. I held her in silence, savoring the moment of her being in my arms so care free, so comfortable until she spoke again, her words quiet...a small confession in the midst of the night.
“You”re my forever.”
”Then marry me.”
The words left my mouth before I had a chance to think about them but I didn”t regret them, not when she nuzzled closer to me, as if the words comforted her.
”Maybe not this year,” I continued, ”Maybe when we”ve been together longer and we see how things work out...but I want you to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you”re my forever, too.”
She looked up at me, pressing her soft lips against mine for a few seconds. She didn”t run, didn”t say a damn word until I brushed her hair back, our fingers intertwined.
”What if I don”t want to wait?”
Holy shit.
“What do you mean?”
I could see her cheeks reddening, even in the dark of the night. She ran her teeth over her bottom lip, her hand settling on my chest and I wasn’t sure how the hell she couldn’t feel how my heart was about to explode.
“I feel like we’ve wasted so much time, Derek...and the outcome is always the same. We always end up together. I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to be with you...I want to be yours forever. I want the good and the bad and everything in between.”
She sounded so fucking sure, so confident. “Are you sure about this, Hannah? Just a few days ago you couldn’t even look at me and logically speaking—”
“Logic hasn’t gotten me anywhere.”
I swallowed thickly. Nothing would make me happier than Hannah being my wife and yet... “When are you thinking?”
“Tomorrow.”
I let out a laugh, shaking my head. Just a few days ago she was unsure of what she wanted, unsure if a relationship between us was even possible, and now she was talking about marriage. Logically, I knew maybe it wasn’t the best choice but as she stood there, her eyes full of life, I knew I’d do it. If she wanted to, if she was sure, I’d make her my wife and never let her go. “You know that would mean no more turning back, right?”
“I’m not looking back anymore, Derek.”
“What about a wedding? A party?”
Hannah smiled, her gaze fleeting to our family as they talked on the other side of the water. “Yeah...that would be nice, but I don’t need it, Derek. All I need is you and our girls.”
I chuckled, kissing her hard, taking in every second.
She stayed in the water for a few minutes longer before going back to our cabin with the goal of finding the perfect wedding dress in less than twenty-four hours. Evie swam toward me with Nathan, and everyone else followed along.
“So, I feel like you have a lot to tell us,” she said, wiggling her brows.
I ran my hand over my face, but deep down, I knew that if Hannah was making this decision, I was going to give her everything she ever dreamed of.
“How would you feel about planning an event?”