Chapter 35
Hannah
I smoothed down my shirt, tucking it in slightly into my black jeans as I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t look like myself anymore...not the person with a sparkle in her eyes I was used to seeing now.
She was gone...again.
Quietly, I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a tight bun, trying to keep the peaceful silence so Derek didn’t wake up. If he did...I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do. Lying to him wasn’t possible.
Not anymore.
Back then it would have been so easy. And sometimes, I missed that part...the one where I could hide my feelings without anyone noticing. Now, my feelings were just on the surface, so raw that any little thing could set me off.
Breathing became a little harder when I realized how close things were to falling apart. My heart would remain heavy until this was all sorted out, though if I was honest, the light at the end of the tunnel dimmed a little more every day. It had already been twenty-four hours since Mark had told us what he found, and I didn’t think I could wait much longer.
I let out a breath and closed my eyes, hoping my fears weren’t true.
Hoping that somehow it was all a misunderstanding and Eugene worked alone was all I could do. My father and I weren’t close but he promised...that had to mean something, right? It had to be worth something.
“You’re up early on this fine Tuesday morning.” Derek’s sleepy mumble came from the door. He rubbed his eyes, barely able to keep them open after another sleepless night.
He didn’t have to say anything for me to know that the situation at hand kept him up at night. He worried. Try as he might to deny it, I knew he stayed up at night wondering how to solve this...how to make things better. And I knew because I did the same thing.
And even if I slept, it wasn’t peaceful. I didn”t know how to end this...how to make sure it was all over.
“Where are you heading to?” There was concern in his voice. He tried to mask it, but wasn’t successful.
I hesitated. Only a fraction of a second, but enough for Derek to raise an eyebrow. His eyes narrowed on me but he waited until I came up with a response.
“I...uh...Nathan called me so I could help at the gallery for a bit. Shouldn’t be too long.”
Derek looked at me for a few seconds, his lips turning up to a half smile. I couldn’t stand it. I tore my eyes away from his, feeling how it burned to have him look right through me.
I held my hands together on the counter, staring at them as I kept the little lie going as long as I could. Hoping he didn”t question me. The silence between us felt eternal, but I didn”t break it. With a heavy sigh, Derek walked up to me, placing his hands on my waist so I would turn around and face him.
He brushed his fingers against my face, his beautiful green eyes boring into mine. I swallowed thickly as he leaned in and placed a single kiss on my lips. It was hard not to melt into his touch, even harder not to want to cave and tell him everything, but I didn”t have to.
”You”re a terrible liar,” he murmured with a sad smile. ”You don”t have to tell me what you”re going to do...I already know.”
”You do?”
”I have a good idea, yes.”
I smiled briefly, breaking his gaze.
”I won”t stop you.” Relieved, I nodded, relaxing into his body as he spoke to me. ”But I need you to be careful. Text me when you get there and please call me when you leave. I just want to know that you”re safe, Hannah. Can you do that?”
”I will.”
Concern was written all over his face and my heart broke just a little, but I couldn”t help the pride and love that invaded every muscle in my body when I realized he was putting my needs over his fears.
What had I done to deserve this man?
He did everything for me, and more. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, closing my eyes and forgetting everything about what awaited outside our home. None of it mattered when he held me, when he comforted me...but I knew I couldn’t hide forever. I had to confront my past...make things right for them...for me. So I could have peace.
“You should go,” Derek said softly, pulling away from me. He caressed the skin of my neck, green eyes buried deep into every pore of my soul. “Really, you should, before I tie you up to that bed so you can’t leave.”
I laughed, earning a smile from him as well. “If you do that I won’t want to leave.”
“Then don’t tempt me.” He leaned in, kissing me once again, this time more demanding than the last. I whimpered when his fingers dug into my skin, bruising and full of ownership and fear. He couldn’t hide it, and he didn’t even try. He leaned his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes closed as he spoke. “Be careful, Hannah. Come back home to me, okay?”
***
I’d never been to that side of town--the side of town that Evie avoided. It wasn’t as bad as everyone said it was. Or perhaps it was because I was more afraid of what I would find. I parked my car on the side of the road, looking at the motel that waited ahead.
It wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
My stomach churned and my heart raced, even more as I stepped out of the car and walked to my moment of truth, one I wasn’t even sure I was ready for. I looked at my phone at the address, making sure I had the right room number, and walked.
Time slowed down as I walked to the building, completely stopping when I arrived at the mahogany colored door that would lead to my father”s room, if he was there.
I hoped he wasn”t.
I knocked once, twice, holding my breath until the door flung open, my dad appearing inside. His eyes were wide and his expression faltered, like he couldn’t quite believe I was there. The world around me spun as reality caught up with me, destroying every ounce of hope I had left. The look in my father’s eyes was the same...full of despair.
“Hannah...what are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” I took out the single picture I had folded in my pocket, shoving it against his chest and unable to hide my fury. “You have absolutely no right to ask any questions. Not after what you’ve done.”
His mouth gaped as he looked from me to the picture. His brows furrowed and he let out a single scoff, shaking his head as he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into his room. I wiggled myself out of his hold and put distance between us as he slammed the door shut behind him.
“Did anyone follow you here?”
“You don’t ask the questions here, I do” I snapped. “What the hell were you thinking? Taking money from Nathan and Evie? Like you have a right, like you fucking deserve it? After everything they’ve been through? This is going to destroy them.”
“Hannah--”
“And what about me? Huh?” I couldn’t keep the pain from seeping into my voice but was glad when I saw it reflected in his eyes. “You promised me you wouldn’t do this again. You promised.”
“Are you done?” He asked, tossing the picture on the bed. “Because if you would let me talk you would know that I had nothing to do with what happened at the gallery.”
He held my gaze, offended...something I’d never seen before. Had I actually hurt his feelings?
“Yes, Eugene approached me. We talked. That’s what you see in that picture. He called me about some business deal a few days ago and yes, I was interested before I knew what it was about. But the second he told me what he was thinking of doing I said no.” Taking a deep breath, I sat on the bed, glancing at the crumpled up picture beside me. My dad ran a hand through his hair, now more speckled with gray than before.
He’d aged.
It was obvious by the wrinkles in his eyes and the crease in his forehead.
Time was flying by and this was how we were spending it?
“He said he had someone else working with him, so the money would be split in three.”
The pressure in my chest came back full force, knocking the air out of my lungs. “Someone else?”
“Yes. But I didn’t have any part in it, Hannah. I swear to you. I’ve left that all behind. I hold a steady job and you know that and that’s a large reason why I can’t visit more often but I would never, ever do anything to harm you or Evie or Nathan.”
I wanted so badly for him to be lying. Deep down, I wanted it to be him because then it would be all over but this...this meant there was someone else. Someone else who had betrayed me and my heart couldn’t bear the uncertainty. I held the tears in, even though they blurred my vision, but spoke up, hoping if he knew something he would tell me the truth.
“Eugene’s been stalking me for over a year,” I admitted. My father muttered a curse under his breath, his hands balling into fists to his side. “The account was wiped out and he’s stalking me and there was a break in and it seems like it was all connected. I don’t know what he wants. I’m scared, dad. I can’t live like this. I moved away to start over and I started a new life with Derek and now this? Please, if you know something, anything, please tell me. I need this to be over.”
My dad looked at me for a few seconds before sitting down next to me and pulling me into his embrace. It was unusual for him to hold me and I couldn’t remember the last time he did...or the last time he comforted me, for that matter, but my armor began to crumble and a sob broke through my lips...and then another, and another...
It was all catching up to me: the fear, the heartache. I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. I was slipping, and I couldn’t stop it. He held me for a while, handing me one of the handkerchiefs that he kept in his pocket, lifting my face as he wiped my tears, like when I was a little girl. He smiled, as if remembering the same thing and held my hand in his.
“I do think I know who is working with him.” He swallowed, picking up the picture from the bed. “I’m assuming if you have this that means you have someone searching for information but Hannah, you won’t like the answer.”
Little by little, he told me what he knew...everything he had found, even the notes he’d taken on his phone. They were consistent with things I was aware of, things that I knew to be true as well.
I walked out of the room closer to the truth and more heartbroken than ever.
The blinding sun made me pause for a moment but my eyes quickly landed on a familiar man, leaning against a tan sedan. He was waiting for me.
Mark offered a smile, the saddest smile I’d seen on his face since I met him.
“You knew I would come question him, didn’t you?” My words, laced with fury, made him flinch.
“I did.”
“But you had a lead already, and you needed to confirm it.”
Mark shrugged, taking out his phone and scrolling through it. He was so fucking relaxed, it irritated me. How? When my life was falling apart?
“It’s not my dad.”
“I know.” He pulled up a picture on his phone, showing it to me and my heart sank. “Is this the same person he mentioned?”
It was hard to breathe.
The truth could be so cruel.
After a few seconds of hesitation, I nodded, taking a step back and holding it all in. Mark’s face was full of pity, but I didn’t want to see it.
“You need to figure this out by tomorrow, or I will.”
I left him standing there, walking away and to my car. I sat, and closed my eyes, refusing to see the world where my life fell apart. I sent Derek a message that was short and simple,
Hannah: I’m okay but I’m going for a drive. I love you.
The text bubble on my phone appeared and disappeared as he decided what to type until finally, his short message showed up on my screen.
Derek: Whatever you need, baby. I love you, too.