8
SELENA
The flight lands, and I make my way through the aisle, thanking every air hostess as I pass. The airport hums around me, rolling suitcases, overhead announcements, families reuniting, strangers rushing past with places to be. I walk through arrivals, still carrying the heaviness of the long flight, when I see her.
My sister.
She's standing there holding a sign that reads "Sel Pal", her nickname for me. She's still as beautiful as the last time I saw her. Her blonde hair falls in soft layers, curtain bangs framing her face perfectly. Her blue eyes are bright, beaming with excitement. She's wearing a short red dress, red lipstick to match, confidence written into every step she takes.
She squeals the second our eyes meet.
I drop my bag and run to her, suddenly filled with energy I didn't have seconds ago. The exhaustion disappears. I feel her familiar hug wrap around me, grounding and electric all at once. We jump up and down like little girls, and she screams at the top of her lungs,
"I'M GETTING MARRIED, BITCHES!"
People stare. Instead of getting embarrassed, she lifts her hand dramatically and flashes her massive diamond ring at the onlookers.
"Ladies and gentlemen," she announces loudly, "this is what love feels like."
I laugh, mortified and amused all at once.
"HUSH YOU."
We both burst out laughing as an old lady shoots us a disgusted look. Still giggling, we make our way out of the airport and into her black Mercedes.
"So," I ask, finally settling into the seat, "how are the wedding preps?"
"It's very, very different," she says, pulling onto the road, "but I love it."
My sister is marrying an Indian man who relocated here. He actually went to school with us, and he's a year younger than her. But love is love. Age, ethnicity, none of it matters. At the end of the day, we're all just human.
"So," I say, giving her a knowing look, "is Stella driving you crazy with the bachelorette party tonight?"
She rolls her eyes. "You have no idea."
Stella is Sabrina's best friend from college. I wanted to throw my sister a bachelorette party myself, but Stella pleaded until I gave in. Her argument was that I've been a ghost for years and wouldn't even know who to invite. She said I could throw my sister a baby shower someday instead. How thoughtful.
"I'm so excited to see everyone!" I lie.
I quickly pull out my phone and text Lucien to tell him I've landed safely. I don't know why, but I've been getting a bad feeling about him today. I'm anxious, like I can feel his emotions, or maybe I'm overthinking.
"Hey, Sel," Sabrina says after a moment, her manicured red fingernails gripping the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road. "I wanted to talk to you in person."
I already know what's coming.
"I'm really sorry we have to invite Kai to my wedding."
I nod, keeping my voice steady. "Hey, don't worry about it."
"It's just… I hate him for hurting you. I want to gouge his eyes out every time I see him. But you know he and Rohit are best friends, and Rohit wants him there."
Rohit was part of our school friend group. Kai was like a brother to him, they did everything together. That's how Sabrina and Rohit got close. Kai was always around, and Rohit tagged along. Whenever Kai visited me, it was a package deal. Eventually, when Kai and I were too consumed by each other, Rohit and Sabrina formed their own bond.
At least our relationship brought people together.
Just not us.
"It will be hard seeing him again," I admit. "The last time was at his wedding, so yeah, I'm a little nervous. But it's okay. I understand the position you're in. Don't worry, I'm mature about it."
She sighs. She's been doing that a lot.
"Rohit and I actually had a heated fight about it last week."
That shocks me.
"No, no. The last thing I want is for you two to fight over me and him. We're ancient history. Seriously, I'm married now, and Kai's grown too. This is unnecessary. Please don't worry about it."
She sighs again.
"Also… I didn't want Jade there."
I laugh. "She's your cousin."
"She's yours too," she snaps, "but that didn't stop her from being a ho, ho, ho."
We both laugh.
"Honestly, our aunts and uncles forced Mom and me to agree to invite her. Hopefully she knows better than to actually show up."
I smile, already knowing the truth.
"Oh, she's going to show up. Jade loves drama. With her and Kai splitting, she'll want to rub it in his face."
Sabrina gives me a knowing look and rolls her eyes.
"Anyway," I say softly, "I love you. You don't have to fight my battles. Just focus on the wedding. Besides, in a few days I'll have Lucien here."
Sabrina's whole face lights up. "Ohhhh, finally. I get to see my brother-in-law again. The man who stole my sister and made her move to London."
"He didn't steal me."
"Girl, you were packed and gone within a week of meeting him. That's stolen." She grins. "But honestly? I've never seen you like this. Even on FaceTime, you glow differently. He did that."
I feel warmth spread through my chest. "He did."
"Okay, give me the update. Is he still stupidly handsome in person? Because from the wedding photos, I was genuinely offended. How is it fair that one person gets to be that hot and that rich and that into you?"
I laugh. "He's even better in person. You'll see."
"And the glasses? Please tell me he still wears the glasses sometimes. That man with glasses—" she fans herself dramatically, "I don't make the rules."
"He wears them when he reads. Or when he's tired. Or when he wants to look intimidating in meetings and then come home and let me take them off slowly while he pretends he doesn't love it."
Sabrina groans. "Okay, too much information. But also... not enough. Tell me everything."
I smile, but it fades slightly. "I kind of got jealous," I admit quietly, staring at my fingers. "He said Jade has a lovely smile."
Sabrina's expression shifts instantly. Protective. Fierce.
"Babe. Listen to me. That man could have a supermodel throwing herself at him in a glass elevator and he'd still be looking for your exit row. Jade's smile could be lit from within by angels and he wouldn't notice because he's too busy noticing you."
"Yeah," I murmur, "that's what I thought about Kai too."
The words hang between us.
The truth is, I'm insecure. I've never been chosen by someone I loved. I've always been the placeholder, the one held onto until something better arrives. I hold my breath, waiting for that better to show up. And with Jade, men are drawn to her. I don't know what she has that I don't. I just know I'm wounded.
Sabrina's voice softens. "Lucien is not Kai."
"I know."
"But?" She glances at me. "I hear a but."
I'm quiet for a moment. Then: "But I loved Kai for so long. With so much of myself. And I don't know if that ever really goes away. Not the love, but the… the mark it leaves."
She nods slowly. "I get that."
"Do you?"
"Yeah." She grips the steering wheel tighter. "I watched you with him. I watched you burn. And I watched you almost die when he chose her. That mark? I have it too. Just from watching."
My eyes sting.
"Lucien is different," she continues. "He's steady. He's safe. But I also know—" she hesitates, "I know that kind of love isn't always the loudest. Sometimes the loudest love is the one that hurts."
I don't respond.
She bites her lip and closes her eyes tight, the way she always does when she's hiding something.
"What is it?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "Nothing."
"Tell me."
She shakes her head again.
"Tellllll me," I whine.
She exhales. "Okay. Look… I know you're happily married. And I know you love Lucien. I'm not saying this because I want you to go back to Kai. It's just—"
"Oh my God, just say it."
She sighs.
"Fine. I heard from Rohit that one of the reasons Kai got divorced… was because of you."
The world slows.
Because of… me?
I don't speak. My chest tightens, my thoughts scattering in every direction at once. Confusion. Guilt. Disbelief. Old memories knocking where they shouldn't.
"What do you mean?" I finally ask.
"Well," she says carefully, "in simple words… Jade could never be you."
I let out a hollow laugh. "That's bullshit. She left him for an older man with money."
"Yeah," Sabrina says, "but apparently a lot of their fights were about you. She kept saying he should've just married you. Eventually, she started looking elsewhere."
I fall silent, not knowing what to think or feel.
"Does he know?" I ask suddenly.
"Does he know what?"
"That I'm married?"
She shakes her head. "No. Rohit promised that he wouldn't tell him anything about you. For all he knows, you're single and just coming to my wedding."
She lets out a small, bitter, evil laugh.
"Now he'll know what real hurt feels like."
I half-smile.
But inside, my mind won't stop asking the same questions over and over.
Does Kai love me? Did he ever love me?