38
SELENA
FLASHBACK
October 12th
I lost my job today. Boss called me in. Said there was a restructuring. Said someone else was getting my position.
It was Jade.
I didn't cry. Not yet. Just sat there, staring at the wall, feeling nothing. Kai gave her my job. The same job he helped me get. The same job I worked for. Hers now.
October 15th
I had to move back in with Mum. I don't have enough money to pay for my apartment. Counted every penny. $43.17. That's all I have.
Mum didn't ask questions. Just made up my old room. Put fresh sheets on the bed. I cried for the first time.
October 18th
Saw it on Instagram. They're engaged. Her hand. His ring. Their smile. I stared at it for an hour. Then I threw my phone against the wall. It didn't break. I wanted to.
October 22nd
Called him today. Begged him to help me get my job back.
He said it would be "awkward." With her there. With them working together.
I reminded him that he didn't even have that job before me. I was the one who made his resume. I was the one who applied for him. I was the one who called everyone I knew, begged them to give him a chance. I got him that job. And now he gave it to her.
He was quiet for a long time. Then he said he was sorry.
Sorry.
I said I'm starving. I can't afford food. I can't afford anything.
He said he was sorry again.
I hung up. I can't ask Mum for help. Dad is leaving her for a younger woman. She's barely holding on. I can't add to that. So I'll figure it out alone. Like always.
October 23rd
Threw up twice today. Maybe it's the stress. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten properly in days. Maybe it's everything. I can't afford a doctor right now. Can't afford anything. I don't want to ask Mum for help. She has enough to deal with. I'll figure it out. I always do.
October 25th
Their wedding invite came. I don't know why they sent it. To be polite? To rub it in? To watch me squirm? I held it for a long time. Read the words over and over.
Together with their families, Kai Frost and Jade Sterling invite you to celebrate their wedding.
I put it on my nightstand. Haven't moved it since.
October 27th
A letter came today. From London. Thorne Industries. Job interview. I don't even remember applying. Must have been months ago, back when I still had hope.
London. New city. New life. Far away from all of this. I stared at it for a long time. Then I put it in the drawer. I can't move away. The interview is in a few weeks. I won't go.
October 29th
Tomorrow is their wedding. I don't know what to do. Don't know what to feel. Don't know anything anymore.
I just know I'm tired. So tired.