50. Willa
CHAPTER FIFTY
WILLA
“ G em…” Trevor turns to me after parking his SUV, leaving the engine running.
We pulled into Honey Brunches thirty minutes early so I could feel like I have the upper hand with whatever is about to happen.
Dark storm clouds rolling in over the half-full lot seem like an omen, but I’m trying to ignore it.
When my parents arrive at ten, there should be enough people inside to stave off any potential of Mom making a scene.
He turns down the comfort playlist he made for me, then grabs my hand.
“I’ll support you either way. If you still want to go in there and say your piece, I’ll be right by your side, giving them the stink eye until you’re finished.
But if you don’t want to do this anymore, if it’s too stressful right now, that’s okay too.
You don’t owe them anything, and you’re allowed to change your mind. ”
Changing my mind has been villainized for so long, his reminder gives me more courage than he’ll ever know. Giving him a small smile, I squeeze his hand. “Thank you. But I want to get this over with today.”
He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Then let’s do it.”
As we walk hand in hand toward the brick café, my other hand settles protectively over my belly.
I’m only doing this for my little girl. She deserves a support system that will show up regardless of whoever she decides to be.
I’m willing to give my parents the chance to be a part of it, but some things drastically need to change.
Trevor and I have time to order and finish half of our breakfast by the time my parents walk into the brown and black accented café.
Bronze pendant lights hang from the ceiling over wooden bistro tables.
The whir of coffee grinders mixes with the easy jazz playing softly.
Dad trudges past the dark vinyl booths lining the windows, looking worse for wear as he drags Mom behind him.
“Hey, Willabean. Trevor.” His tired smile barely reaches his eyes.
I haven’t heard that nickname since I was a kid, and it hits me right in the chest.
“Hi, Dad.” I return his smile, and he takes a seat. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hay is for horses, Wilhelmina.” Her eyes narrow on my plate as she sits in the wooden chair across from me. “My grandbaby’s going to come out as big as a house if you keep feeding her bacon and pancakes.”
Everything in me tenses, but Trevor squeezes my thigh, bringing me back down immediately.
“ Enough , Jackie!” Dad snaps, and I tense again.
“You’ve been running your mouth since we landed on Friday.
Be quiet .” My eyes shift between them cynically.
Never in my thirty-one years have I seen him stand up to Mom.
She purses her lips, fixing her eyes on the black condiment caddy.
“Willa, I’d like to apologize for Thanksgiving.
It was out of line for us to question your choices like that, and I think we ”—he glances at Mom who sits still as stone—“have forgotten.” The lines around his dark brown eyes crinkle as warmth fills his expression.
“I’ve spent the last few days researching everything you’ve accomplished out here.
Your partnership with TAILA, the studio, your home—you’ve really made a name for yourself.
” He reaches for my hand and gives a squeeze. “I’m proud of you.”
What the fuck is happening right now ? I blink away my surprise. “Uh…thank you? Um, I just wanted to set some expectations when it comes to the baby.”
Mom chuffs, patting her afro, and Dad’s jaw hardens. “Jackeline,” he says through gritted teeth.
“ Oh, I’m allowed to speak now?”
“Don’t start.” He sighs.
“She’s talking to us like we don’t know how to raise children, Robert. It’s insulting.”
I glance at Trevor, and he looks just as perplexed as I feel watching my parents bicker like this. Mom sneers at our exchange. “Please give us some privacy, Trevor. Your services aren’t needed.”
“Services?” I hiss, seeing red. This is already off to a horrible start. Less than ten minutes, and the rapid cycling through anxiety, anger, and confusion is making me regret meeting up with them.
“Yes. Services . Honestly, Wilhelmina, what made you think you’d need a handler when meeting with us? This is a family matter.”
“He is my family,” I say cooly, leaning into him. “And it’s called support. The only one who needs handling here is you.”
“You hear that, Robert?” she huffs, hitching her purse higher on her shoulder.
“Now we’re not supportive. She’s completely ignoring all of those expensive math and science courses she used us for.
” Her cold brown eyes settle on mine. “Seeing as we’re so easily replaced, there’s no need for us to be here. ”
“You mean the courses I was forced into? The ones I took to keep you happy? Make you proud for once? I never wanted any of that.”
“ Ooh , well excuse me for trying to cultivate your God-given talents. Most people would be thankful they had parents dedicated to their education. But it’s always something with you.”
“Jackie,” Dad warns.
“What is that supposed to mean?” The baby kicks at my heightened pitch, and I soothe her with a caress as I adjust in my chair. “What did I ever do that was so wrong ?
“You know exactly what it means, Willa. You’ve never needed me the way your sister does.”
The bite in her confession knocks me back with surprise, and my mouth drops. “What child doesn’t need their mother?”
“YOU!” Mom’s chair scrapes across the floor as she stands, pointing a finger in my face.
Several eyes around the café dart to our table as Dad reaches for her arm, but she snatches it back.
“Since the day you were born, you made it clear I wasn’t enough for you.
Never slept for me, never took to my milk, never returned my smiles.
You threw horrible tantrums whenever I’d try to play with you.
And then you’d hide from me. Hide . Like locking yourself in a dark closet was easier than looking me in the eye. ”
I’m speechless. This tirade is the first time she’s ever explained where her issues with me stem from. She actually hates me . Tears well in my eyes, and I glance at Trevor. Eyebrows cinched in concern, he clears his throat. “Did you ever talk to someone about it?”
She slices a glare at him, but her hatred fixes back on me so quickly, it’s clear she truly resents me.
“There’s nothing wrong with her, Trevor , except for being contrarian and hardheaded.
Everything has to be her way. She’ll cast you aside too, as soon as she gets whatever it is she wants from you. ”
“Not Willa,” Trevor says, his calm voice soothing the agitation burning inside me.
I focus on it, let it wash over me as he strokes my knee.
In the past, I would have flown off the handle and matched her energy .
But now, all I see is a woman who never took the time to understand herself.
There’s nothing I could have done—nothing I can do—to get into her good graces.
She may hate me, but the issue lies within herself. The realization is freeing.
“I’m asking if you talked to someone for the way you felt back then,” Trevor continues. “That’s a lot of resentment to hold over a child.”
“Don’t you dare patronize me. You think impregnating my daughter out of wedlock gives you the right to?—”
“You’re making a scene.” Dad yanks on her arm, and the rest of her sentence is swallowed up when she lands in the chair with a thud. “Sit. Down.”
Pursing her lips, she jerks her arm away, glowering at me like I’m the one who forced her to sit. “Just say whatever you have to say so we can leave.”
My eyes lock onto hers, and the smugness pinching her face tempts me to lay into her.
But then the baby moves. My daughter . Her kick is the enlightenment I need right now.
I don’t want to be anything like the woman crumbling in front of me.
Stooping to her level will only validate her, and I need to get my message across clearly: this behavior won’t be allowed around my child .
So I breathe deeply, emulating the calm assertiveness radiating from Trevor.
“When this baby is born, she’ll be surrounded by love and genuine support.
We won’t hesitate to keep her away from anyone who speaks to her the way you speak to me.
Anyone who blames her for things beyond her control.
I’m not doing this for me, Mom. I don’t give a damn if you think I’m the devil incarnate, but if you want the chance to know your grandchild, you’ll do the kind of soul-searching you should have done when I was young.
Things need to change. Until they do, I’m not comfortable having you around her. ”
“Who do you think you are?” She sneers. “I’ll do whatever I damn well please, including seeing my grandbaby whenever I choose.”
I turn to Trevor, and his eyes are already on mine, offering the protection he always has. The faintest smile quirks his lips, his reassurance washing over me. He squeezes my knee, and I slip my hand over his as I face my mom. “Fucking try me.”
“I don’t have to sit and listen to this.” Mom bolts from her chair, her heels clipping on the dark herringbone flooring all the way to the exit. As soon as she’s gone, I feel as light as a feather. She’s made her choice, and I’ve made mine.
“I have a lot of regrets, Willa.” Dad’s shaky words pull my attention from the door.
“You’ve suffered through too much because of my silence, and it’s something I’ll be fixing for a long time.
But that’s what I’ll do because I want the chance to know her.
” His eyes glisten as he reaches across the table for my hand.
“I’d like the chance to know you too, Willabean. As you are.”
I’ve always seen Dad as a silent antagonist, ready to enforce Mom’s bidding.
Until today, there’s been no evidence of his backbone.
If I hadn’t seen their interaction with my own eyes, I’d never believe it.
But the sincerity in his voice and the emotion in his eyes are undeniable.
If he’s committed to changing, I stand by what I said.
“Let’s take it slow and see how it goes.
But I’m serious about Mom. She can’t act that away around the baby, and I won’t let her anywhere near us as long as she does. ”
“I agree.” Dad glances out the window at Mom pacing the sidewalk, a chagrined frown on his face.
“She needs to come to her senses on her own or face the music. I’ll let her do just that.
” As if on cue, thunder rumbles. The slightest smirk settles on his lips as raindrops patter against the roof.
He pulls his rental car keys from his shirt pocket and sets them on the table, then lounges back in his chair with his hands settling over his stomach.
“If you have to go rescue her, that’s okay, Dad. I understand,” I say, nodding toward the door.
He gives a mischievous grin. “Like I said, she needs to come to her senses. As for me, I’m long overdue for a coffee with my daughter and her boyfriend.”