17. Shaw
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SHAW
Istared at my textbook, the words blurring together.
My trust fund could secure the best education money could offer, but it couldn’t purchase clarity about the mess I’d created between Dante and Jace.
I could pay Dante’s astronomical hourly rate at Gennaro Corporation, but I couldn’t afford the consequences of Jace discovering the truth.
Trent knocked once before shouldering his way into my room, balancing a large pizza box and a six-pack of beer. “Sustenance for the sexually conflicted,” he announced, kicking the door shut. “Supreme with extra cheese. I figured you needed comfort food.”
The smell of hot pizza made my stomach growl. “Thanks. I was starting to consider my textbook as a potential food source.”
“That bad, huh?” Trent set everything on my desk, careful not to disturb the high-end laptop I’d splurged on last semester.
He cracked open two beers and handed me one before dropping onto my king-sized bed with a slice already in hand.
“So, are we gonna talk about it, or are we pretending nothing happened at the brothel?”
I took a long sip from the bottle, leaning back against the wall. Soft lighting cast shadows across the understated expensive furnishings Uncle Seymour had insisted on when I moved in. Unlike my miserly father, my uncle enjoyed spending his millions. “Depends on what ‘it’ is.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Trent’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Maybe the fact that President Dragon is actually Dante Gennaro, and you’ve been paying to fuck him while Jace runs around threatening to kill anyone who suggests you might be into men.”
The pizza slice stopped halfway to my mouth. “Uh…”
“What? Am I wrong?” He took another bite. “Cut the bullshit, Shaw. I saw the employee book at the brothel. President Dragon is Dante. The resemblance isn’t just uncanny, it’s fucking identical. Plus, you nearly shit yourself when Jace mentioned it.”
I set my food down, appetite gone. “Trent…”
“Relax,” he said, talking through a bite of pizza.
“I’m not Jace. You know I’m not here to give you shit about hooking up with Dante.
I meant it when I said I have eyes and am comfortable enough in my sexuality to acknowledge he’s one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen.
If he looked at me the same smoldering way he looks at you, I’d probably have a bisexual awakening. ”
His lighthearted laughter eased my anxiety. “Dude, I get it. There’s been sexual tension between you two from the moment you met. You don’t have to explain it to me. Though I gotta say, paying to hook up with the guy you’ve been crushing on since high school is a bold move.”
Heat crawled up my neck. “I don’t know if bold is the right term.”
Trent grinned. “Can’t say I blame you. The guy is an objectively distracting sex god. I mean, damn. You’re only human, man. Quit being so hard on yourself for having the only logical reaction to being around that walking pheromone. Of course you’re going to have feelings for him. How do you not?”
“While I appreciate the support, can we not do this right now?” I sighed and stalled, eating the rest of my pizza. “My heart just isn’t ready.”
“When would you prefer to do it? After Jace figures it out and loses his fucking mind?” Trent gave me a sympathetic look. “Because that’s where this is heading, Shaw. Jace’s slow on the uptake because he’s living in the land of denial, but even he’ll figure it out eventually.”
“I know.” The admission felt like giving up. “I know, okay? But what am I supposed to do?”
“For starters, you could tell me what the hell is going on.” His voice softened. “I stood up for you that night. The least you could do is be straight with me.”
I snorted. “I’m not sure I can be straight with anyone.”
Trent rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, smart-ass.”
“I didn’t get to ask before, but why did you bring up President Dragon after our visit? You knew it would set off Jace’s rage.”
“Because after my awesome orgasm, my last two brain cells foolishly thought it was a great way to try warming him up to the idea of you and Dante together when he was feeling just as good after having sex. I’m sorry I put you in such a bad spot. I really misjudged how livid he’d get.”
“It’s okay. I appreciate that you try to get through his thick skull, even when it backfires.
” I took a swig of beer, glancing at the collection of Egyptian artifacts displayed on my bookshelf.
They were one of the few things that weren’t still in storage.
I could more than afford to move out, but after losing my parents, I found comfort in living with my uncle and cousin instead of being alone.
“Fine. Yes, President Dragon is Dante. Yes, I’ve been paying to see him. And yes, I know how fucked-up that is.”
“For how long?”
“Since Jace’s birthday.”
Trent whistled low. “So while Jace was getting blown by Secretary Dominique, you were with Dante?”
I took several long swallows before answering. “Pretty much.”
“And you’ve obviously gone back since then.”
I nodded.
“Damn, Shaw. That place isn’t cheap, especially if he’s getting top billing. How much are you dropping on him?”
“More than I should.” I twisted the beer bottle in my hands. “But less than I’d pay a therapist to deal with how I feel about him.”
Trent barked out a laugh. “Fair enough.” He grabbed another slice. “What’s the plan here? Keep paying him until your trust fund runs out?”
“There is no plan.” I finally looked up. “The problem is I can’t stay away from him.”
“Even though it could get you killed? The Gennaro family doesn’t exactly have a reputation for mercy.”
“You sound like you’ve been talking to Uncle Seymour.”
“I can’t help it after two decades of listening to Dad’s Mafia lectures.” Trent shrugged. “Besides, it’s interesting stuff. Did you know they found three bodies in the East River last month? All rumored to be competitors who tried moving in on Gennaro territory.”
My stomach turned. “No, I didn’t.”
“That’s who you’re getting involved with, Shaw. People who solve problems with cement shoes and piano wire.”
“Dante’s not like that.”
“How do you know? Because he’s good in bed? Because he smiles at you in class?” Trent’s gaze held no judgment. “What do you really know about his life outside the brothel?”
“Next to nothing.”
Trent sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to be an asshole. I’m worried about you. This whole situation is fucked-up in ways I don’t think you’ve fully considered.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that Jace would kill you both if he found out. Like the possibility that Dante is using you for something more valuable than your money. Like the very real chance that you could end up as collateral damage in whatever game the Gennaro family is playing.”
I stared at my beer. “You think Dante’s using me?”
“I think it’s a possibility you should consider. You saw all that paperwork they had us fill out. They’re digging for dirt on their clients.”
“Even if they dig, they aren’t going to find anything. Besides, Dante has never asked about our family.”
“Not yet.” Trent sighed. “But even if he’s not using you, there’s still Jace to worry about.”
I groaned. “It’s complicated.”
Trent tipped his beer toward me. “For what it’s worth, I think you should be able to be with whoever makes you happy, even if it’s Dante Gennaro.”
“Thanks.” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. “What am I supposed to do, Trent?”
“Hell if I know. But is any of it real when Dante sells his body for a living to anyone with cash?”
The truth stung, but I’d already wrestled with it countless nights. “You think I don’t have the same doubts? You think I don’t hate myself for every dollar I spend to be with him?”
“Then why do it?”
The words burst out of me. “Because it’s the only way I can be with him! When I’m with him, everything makes sense in a way nothing has since my parents died. I don’t feel like the orphan kid who lost everything.”
Trent stared at me for a long moment, then nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say? That I think it’s a terrible idea? It is. That you’re playing with fire? You are. That Jace will never forgive you? He won’t.” He finished his slice. “But you already know all that, and you’re still doing it anyway, which means something.”
I hung my head with a miserable sigh.
“Does Dante know how you feel?” Trent asked.
I shook my head. “We don’t talk about feelings. It’s not that kind of arrangement.”
“But you want it to be.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want when Dante works there.
” I finished my beer. “Exclusivity isn’t an option when it’s his job to have sex with anyone who can afford him.
At the very least, I’m grateful I don’t feel like he’s cheating on me with his other clients because he’s never promised to be with only me.
He’s been completely up-front about that, and I accept it as the price of being with him. ”
“Damn, you’ve got it real bad for him, huh?” Trent’s expression turned thoughtful. “How do you feel about threesomes?”
I snorted in amusement. “Way to jump topics. Why?”
“Because I saw in the profile book that Dragon’s available to book with other employees for threesomes, foursomes, and more. You’ve got the money, so why not maximize your pleasure?”
“Because this is real life, and I’m not a porn star,” I replied with a laugh.
“Come on, you know Dante has to have at least a few colleagues he’d consider good enough to be with you. I mean, it’s a high-class brothel for a reason. You get what you pay for there when you’re dropping top dollar.”
Despite the absurdity, I gave it a moment of genuine consideration. “I don’t know. It was hard enough getting the nerve up to be with just Dante.”
“Right, because you have history with him. But some rando sex god? What’s there to be nervous about?”
“I’m not sure I’m that adventurous.”