17. Shaw #2
Trent laughed. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Something tells me Dante’s already taken you on quite a few adventures you never imagined you’d go on.” When I blushed, my cousin snickered. “See?”
“Point taken,” I conceded. “But things are already complicated enough with Dante by himself. It seems like the height of stupidity to add a second sex worker to the fire right now.”
Trent grinned. “Right now, huh? Good for you for leaving the door open for later. Seriously, take advantage of the fact you’re with someone who engages in ethical polyamory.
You’re twenty-one with an obscenely huge bank account.
Have some real fun for once in your life, Shaw.
You deserve it more than anyone I know.”
“The problem is no matter how much I want him, he’ll never be mine as long as he’s at Gennaro Corporation. And I obviously have no right to ask him to stop working there. Exclusive monogamy isn’t an option with Dante.”
Trent’s expression grew serious. “If he’s mixed up in Mafia shit, you need to be careful about overstepping. This isn’t some romance novel where love conquers all. These people kill without blinking.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because from where I’m sitting, you’re risking your life for a guy who probably doesn’t love you back.”
The accusation cut deep. “I never said I was in love with him.”
“You don’t have to say it when you have literal hearts in your eyes every time you look at Dante.” Trent sighed, setting aside his beer. “Look, I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m worried about you.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” I got a second beer, needing the liquid courage. “What would you do?”
“If I were you?” He considered it seriously. “I’d probably keep going back until I got some answers. I’d want to find out why someone with the Gennaro name is working as a sex worker instead of running the place.”
“I’ve wondered the same thing.”
“It doesn’t make sense.” Trent frowned. “Unless he’s being forced somehow.”
I nodded. “I’ve thought about that, too. There are so many scars on his body, and they can’t all be from sex games.”
Trent’s expression darkened. “Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Just be careful, okay? I’d hate to have to identify your body when they fish you out of the East River.”
I barked a laugh. “Your concern is touching.”
“I’m serious, Shaw. These people don’t mess around. If Dante is in trouble, helping him could put you in danger.”
“But I can’t abandon him.”
“Even if it means risking your life?”
I didn’t have an answer for that.
Trent sighed. “Look, I get it. You care about him. But you need to be smart about this. If Dante is involved in something dangerous, you could get caught in the crossfire. But whatever happens, I’ve got your back. Unlike Jace, I’m not going to bail on you for being who you are.”
“Even if falling for a Mafia sex worker is the worst idea ever?” I asked.
“Especially then. Although I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ if this all goes to shit.”
“That’s fine. At least I’ll deserve it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “What do I do about Jace?”
“Nothing. Keep doing what you’re doing. Let him believe whatever makes him happy.” Trent shrugged. “It’s not like you owe him the truth.”
“Doesn’t lying to him make me a bad friend?”
He shook his head. “You’re protecting yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I guess. But I really hate putting you in the middle of this. Jace’s your best friend.”
“And you’re family.” Trent’s voice was firm. “Family comes first. Always.”
“I don’t want you to have to choose between us.”
“I’m not choosing. Jace’s making the choice by being a homophobic dick.
” Trent set his beer down. “He’s got a good heart underneath all his bullshit.
You know that. When Mom died, he slept here for two weeks because he was afraid I’d need someone in the middle of the night.
When his dad was at his worst, I was the one who patched him up.
We’ve been through too much together for me to just write him off. ”
“I know,” I admitted. “He was there for me after my parents died, too.”
“Exactly. But that doesn’t excuse his shitty views about gay people.” Trent sighed. “I keep hoping if I stay in his life, I can help him see how wrong he is. Walking away won’t change him, but staying to teach him how to be better could.”
“Has anything you’ve said made a difference?”
“He doesn’t use slurs as much as he used to, which is a pretty big victory.
If I thought he was completely hopeless, I’d walk away from our friendship.
But I’m working on him, Shaw. He’s got all this toxic shit from his dad that he needs to unlearn, and it’s not his fault he was raised that way.
At the end of the day, underneath the layers of ignorant bullshit, he’s still the same kid who gave me half his lunch every day in middle school when Dad forgot to go grocery shopping because he was too deep in his grief. ”
I understood Trent’s conflict. Jace was the best kind of friend you could ask for, minus the random flare-ups of inappropriate comments. It was the only reason I hadn’t written him off.
Trent leaned back. “It’s not ideal, but if he ever figures out you’re gay, it’ll force him to confront his bullshit. And that might actually be good for him in the long run. Maybe if he knows a ‘real’ gay person, he’ll see there’s nothing to be scared of.”
“Or he’ll never speak to either of us again.”
“Then that’s his loss. I love the guy, but I won’t tolerate him hurting you, Shaw. If it comes down to it, I’m always on your side.”
“I appreciate that.” I smiled weakly. “Though it would be easier if he didn’t hate Dante specifically.”
“Yeah, that complicates things a bit.” Trent chuckled. “Of all the guys in New York, you had to fall for the one Jace’s obsessed with destroying.”
“Go big or go home, I guess.” I shrugged. “But seriously, Jace’s grudge against Dante is way out of proportion. It’s been years since high school.”
“Jace holds grudges like they’re Olympic sports and he’s trying to win the gold medal. But even he knows he’s being irrational about Dante. That’s why he gets so defensive when I call him on it. Dante might be arrogant as hell, but he’s never done anything to deserve Jace’s level of hatred.”
“Except exist. And maybe sleep with his sister.”
“If I wasn’t so sure Jace would cut off my dick, I would have tried to hook up with his cute sister, too. But I value my balls too much.” Trent grabbed another beer. “So back to the original issue. What are you going to do about Dante?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. Keep seeing him until I can’t anymore.”
“And then what?”
“Cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“Great plan. Very detailed.” Trent snorted. “Promise me one thing?”
“What?”
“If shit gets real, you’ll come to me for help. Even if I have to take on the Gennaro family, I’ll do it to save you.”
The seriousness in his eyes reminded me that my choices affected more than just me. “I promise. And thanks.”
“Good. And Shaw?”
“Yeah?”
“Dante’s lucky to have someone who cares about him that much. I hope he knows that.”
My cousin’s words touched my heart but also filled me with doubts. I wondered if Dante knew or if I was only another client with a wallet full of cash and a heart full of misplaced hope.