Chapter Six
TILLIE
One Week Later
It’s Wednesday, which means I’m going to yoga with Ryan again today.
He’s been distant and quiet, but there is more to it.
Ever since I started working with Recoil, Ryan has always had a glint of mischief, even though it’s obvious something is troubling him.
Ever since our session last week, his spark has dimmed, and it has me on edge.
I’m not sure whether I need to brace myself for what’s coming or if he’s resigned and accepted my position.
Neither option seems safe. I’m hoping he'll drop his barriers again today and that I can get a feel for where he’s at.
Walking to the fire escape where I know he’ll be, I move through the door and up the stairs to the roof, where he’s sitting far too close to the edge, looking out over the city skyline.
Swallowing hard, I move slowly toward him and take a cautious breath.
He must hear my footsteps as I approach because he turns around, and his sunken eyes, rimmed by dark circles, take my breath, but not in a good way.
This man seems troubled, and I hate the look on his face.
“You okay?” I ask.
The faint smile he gives does nothing to appease me. “Yeah, I’m fine. Guess we have to go?”
I nod, and he stands upright on the edge of the building, making my heart jump into my throat and lodge itself firmly in place. He grins and jumps down onto safer ground, and I breathe a little easier.
“Geez, Tillie, you almost looked scared for me,” he says.
“You were being careless, Ryan. You need to be more sensible than climbing around on the edge of a ten-story building.”
He shrugs. “Is life worth living if you’re not on the edge?”
I let out a bemused laugh. “I prefer safe and solid ground. It’s sturdy, and you know where you’re headed.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” He turns and walks toward the fire escape.
I blow out a breath, shake my head, and walk with him down the stairs to the car in silence. I can’t help but notice his cheeky grin as if he’s up to something, but I ignore it as we climb in and head down the street toward the gym.
“Oh, hey, can you grab my sunglasses from the glove compartment for me?” he asks, his smirk growing wider.
Something’s definitely up with him.
“Sure,” I reply and reach out, pulling the handle down and opening the small compartment.
As the door drops down, a medium-sized rodent scurries out and lands right in my lap.
Its fur is dark gray. Its tail is long and pink, and it has beady little eyes staring right at me while its nose twitches frantically from side to side like it’s sniffing me for traces of food.
Ryan shifts in his seat like he’s waiting for me to scream, but I look down at the cute little guy and smile, moving my fingers to its fur and scratching its back. When it doesn’t move to bite or attack me, I know it’s a pet rat.
I pick the little guy up and bring him in line with my face, smiling and making kissy noises at him. He’s so cute, with his little brown eyes staring at me affectionately. “You’re an adorable little guy, aren’t you?” I say in a cutesy voice.
“You gotta be kidding me!” Ryan murmurs under his breath. “Why does nothing work on you?”
“You don’t know me, Ryan. I’m an animal lover. I had a pet rat when I was a child, so a little guy like this isn’t going to worry me. In fact, I think I’ll keep him. He can be my new pet… I might name him Hunter.”
He looks at me, raising his eyebrow. “Hunter’s my last name.”
“I know. I have to name him after you somehow ’cause you got him for me, and naming him yoga fart just doesn’t seem appropriate.”
He lets out a small chuckle. “You really are something, you know that?”
“I think it’s you who’s something, buying me pets and all. I think, deep down, you actually like me, Ryan Hunter.”
He scoffs. “Let’s just get this yoga over with, shall we?”
I smirk. “Sure. But how long was he in the glove compartment?”
Ryan shrugs. “Not long. I was only on the rooftop for about five minutes before you came and got me. I put him in there just before that. I can’t believe that didn’t work. I was so sure he would’ve scared the shit out of you.” He shakes his head but keeps his eyes on the road ahead.
He’ll have to do much better than that. I figured he was up to something, and so far, I’m beating him at this little power play we have going on.
We pull up at the gym, and Ryan grabs Hunter’s cage from the trunk so I can put him in it. At least he came prepared. I place Hunter in his cute little cage, and we walk to the room for our yoga lesson.
“Hey, Lara,” I say as I walk in.
Lara’s face turns up in disgust. “Um… Tillie, we don’t generally include pets in our yoga sessions. Especially rats.”
I giggle as Ryan smirks.
“We had an incident in the car, and we couldn’t avoid bringing Hunter. Don’t worry, he won’t get in the way. You’re safe. He won’t be coming out of his cage.”
Lara’s body sags in obvious relief.
Ryan then walks over to his yoga mat. His muscles flex and strain while he stretches, getting ready for Lara’s first yoga pose of the day.
Since our last session, unless it was about the band, our interactions have been limited.
Even then, it was only a fleeting question or comment, and then he would avoid me or walk off.
He’s been acting strangely ever since last week when something shifted between us.
After I slipped, he moved instinctively, twisting us so he’d take the brunt of the fall, shielding my head from hitting the floor.
That’s not something you do for someone you can’t stand.
For a brief moment, I saw through the guarded walls he keeps so carefully in place.
He’s wrestling with some deep-seated resentment for me, and I can’t quite understand why.
Well, maybe I do understand.
I took his job.
A job that he took incredibly seriously.
One he, for some reason, does not want to relinquish.
But I know there’s something more than just a general unease.
His persistence to annoy me makes me think he’s overcompensating for something.
It’s likely he doesn’t even know what it is.
There’s an attraction between us, and I definitely don’t think it’s one-sided.
It would explain why he’s been avoiding me.
Because what happened here last week wasn’t just a pair of co-workers falling on each other in a yoga class.
It was chemistry.
It was intense.
And it made him slip back into avoidance mode.
He’s scared, perhaps.
Maybe he doesn’t want to admit there’s an attraction between us.
Hell, I’m not even sure I want to admit that.
Do I think he’s good-looking? Yes, of course.
He’s moody, a practical joker, and more so, he’s stubborn as all hell.
But the icing on the cake is that he can’t make up his mind on anything.
So, while there’s a definite physical attraction, I don’t think I can deal with someone who can’t commit.
Ryan may make my heart flutter and my stomach giddy, but there could never be anything more.
The clearing of a deep, gravelly throat breaks me from my thoughts.
“You okay there, sunshine?” Ryan asks, balanced effortlessly in the Firefly pose as I look up at him.
I can’t help but smirk, surprised he’s actually pulling it off, and take a deep, centering breath.
“I’m good, but stay like that. I need to stream this,” I tell him, pulling out my cell and starting a live feed.
“Week two of the live feeds from the Recovery of Ryan yoga workshops. As you can see, Ryan is doing exceptionally well in his Firefly pose…” Just as I say that, Ryan grunts, his arms tremble, and he collapses, his ass slamming onto the mat with a giant thud.
As my finger moves to stop the live streaming, he suddenly breaks into a bellowing laugh.
My shoulders slump, and a wave of relief washes over me.
Lara rushes over and helps him to sit up while she giggles with him.
“You okay?” I call out.
Ryan looks over at me and gives me two thumbs up. “I’m good. Lara told me not to do that, but you know me, I never listen. Hope it was entertaining?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“Terrifying, more like it,” I reply while I watch the comments coming in about how hilarious Ryan’s incident was.
He smirks wide. “You know me, never know if I’ll make you laugh or scream. I like to keep you on your toes.”
I roll my eyes and keep streaming as Lara instructs him to do a much more subdued Side Plank pose.
The muscles in his arm bulge, holding his weight as he keeps himself up on the side and reaches for the sky with his other arm.
I bite down on my bottom lip as I take in all the curves and features of his toned biceps.
He’s definitely been working on his arms, and I clench my thighs together to dull the ache that’s forming between them.
When Lara instructs Ryan to end his pose, I pause the live feed and shake my head slightly as his muscles relax. He sits cross-legged on the mat, taking in a few calming breaths.
Hell, I need a few hundred calming breaths.
Ryan in a tank top and sweats shouldn’t be doing anything for me, but seeing him here, his arms bulging with a slight sheen of sweat defining each one, definitely makes my mind think things it absolutely should not.
“Okay, Tillie, you ready to get it on with Ryan?” Lara asks.
“Excuse me?”
“You ready for couples yoga?” she asks.
Ryan looks at me, raising an eyebrow, and I clear my throat with a single nod.
“Ah, yeah… sorry. Don’t know where my head’s at today.” I walk over and take a seat in front of Ryan, with my knees just touching his. Warmth radiates through my legs at the thought that I’m touching him, and I have to try to rein in my mind.
Get a grip, Tillie!