Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-five
JESSE
Jesse reached the den just in time to see Matt slam back a glass of bourbon. When Matt swung around and looked at him, his face was tight, his eyes calculating. There was no trace of the warmth and softness with which he’d looked at Jesse that morning.
Jesse didn’t know what he’d done wrong, but he knew it was something really bad. For the first time in days, he started looking for escape routes.
“When were you going to tell me, Jesse?” Matt’s voice was bizarrely conversational. Somehow, that was more terrifying than if he’d shouted.
The door was close, but so was Matt. Jesse had to try and talk his way out of this. “Tell you what?”
“That you’re a goddamn Argent.” The conversational tone had gone. Fury now cracked through Matt’s voice, and Jesse locked his knees against the urge to bolt.
A second later, it sank in. An Argent? Weren’t they those ridiculous glowy silver wolves from legend?
He laughed at the very thought. As soon as he’d done it, he realized what a goddamn awful move that was, but come on. “Have you been drinking?” he demanded.
Something in Matt’s face changed, his jaw unclenching slightly. Enough for Jesse to try to defuse whatever this was. “S’pose you think any second now, I’ll start shooting moonbeams out my ass.”
Matt sank down in the closest chair and rubbed his hands over his face. Slowly. Apparently, he was in no hurry to emerge again.
Jesse eyed the other armchair, but he didn’t feel safe enough to sit. He waited to find out what was coming next.
“I saw you. I know what you are,” Matt said. His accusation felt like a knife, slicing through everything that had been growing between them, all the connections they’d made—or Jesse thought they’d made.
It hurt. And none of this was making any sense at all.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, desperate for Matt to believe him.
Desperate for this conversation to stop because his wolf was twisting around inside him like something had grabbed it by the tail, had seen it and left it with nowhere to hide.
Jesse’s breathing was ratcheting up, and he was getting damn close to running no matter how close Matt was to him.
“Okay, Jesse,” Matt said. “Let’s say for a moment I believe you—”
“What the fuck? You think I’m a liar?” Goddamn, he shouldn’t have said it. Should have kept his mouth shut and played along till he could get out, but it hurt to hear those words from Matt.
Matt was rubbing his hands over his face again. At this rate, he’d have no skin left. But when he looked up at Jesse, his eyes had changed. Like he was seeing Jesse again, not some problem to be solved or threat to be managed.
“You must know what color you are when you shift,” Matt said at last. “Didn’t you put two and two together when I told you about the Argents?”
“I mean, I know I’m light. Kinda like your hair looks in the sunshine, I guess. It’s a crap color for hunting—means I have to roll around in the dirt first, otherwise everything out there would see me coming.”
He wasn’t entirely sure whether Matt had sobbed or laughed as he stared at Jesse. “Fucking hell, Jesse. You’re a fucking Argent and you roll in the dirt because it’s inconvenient?”
Jesse still thought Matt had hit his head or something, because none of this made any sense. But Matt was back, Urban the Alpha less obvious, so he curled up in the other chair. “I can’t be. You said they’d died out.”
Matt ran a hand through his hair, holding onto it briefly, like he could hold onto reality. “Fucking hell.” It was barely a whisper. He let out a slow breath, then shook his head. “That’s what everyone thought. No one’s seen one for centuries. But it looks like we were all wrong.”
“It don’t make no sense, Matt.”
Matt huffed a laugh, not a bit of humor in it. “You’re not wrong,” he said. “So the question—the first question—is where do you come from, Jesse?”
Jesse’s breath caught as he stared at Matt, feeling suddenly trapped by that acute green gaze. He’d never—his history was no one else’s damn business.
But this was Matt. His mate, his wolf reminded him, pushing as if he wanted to touch Matt.
Jesse shoved his hands under his thighs to avoid that happening.
He stared at Matt. Somehow this felt like the biggest decision of his entire life.
Could he really let Matt in that far? What was the point if he wasn’t staying? Would only make it worse when he left.
He licked his lips and tried to calm his breathing.
“I don’t mean to pry into your past, Jesse, but my pack’s in danger.”
Oh, fuck, Urban knew how to hit below the belt.
“I don’t fucking know, alright?” Jesse’s voice cracked, just the way it felt like he was cracking open inside. “I don’t know.”
Matt’s eyes widened in shock. Just briefly, before he brought himself back under control.
Jesse scrubbed his hands over his face because Matt was right—that was a damn handy move.
It hid everything for a few moments. Then he fixed his gaze on the floorboards, absently noting a dirty pawprint.
Jesse didn’t know anything that would help with the threat to Matt’s pack, but he couldn’t let them be hurt—not Tristan, who was more like a golden retriever than a wolf, or Jason, such an unexpected mix of shy and strict, or Dave, who’d reached out to Jesse, offered friendship.
He didn’t owe them anything, because that was a dangerous way to live. But maybe he could give them something. His fingers dug into the undersides of his thighs, grounding himself as he forced the words out.
“They found me walking down a New Mexico highway, naked as the day I was born. Reckoned I was about seven. I don’t recall anything before that—first thing I remember, I was in some lady doctor’s office drawing a picture of a big dog. Leastways, that’s what everyone thought it was at the time.”
“They didn’t know you were a shifter?” Matt’s voice was oddly gentle, and Jesse wanted both to sink into that fact and bristle about it.
“Don’t see how they were s’posed to know when I didn’t.
” Jesse sniffed. He didn’t know when his nose had started running.
“First hint I got, I was fourteen and got really mad about something, and bam—I just shifted, in my foster mom’s living room.
She started screaming and throwing things at me, and her boyfriend came runnin’ with his shotgun, so I got the hell out of there. ”
“They didn’t set you up with a shifter to mentor you? Or see if any pack wanted to foster you?” Matt asked quietly.
“Not exactly.” Jesse would answer Matt if he had to, but he was done with offering his life up for Matt to pick through. Everything inside him was all knotted up. He hadn’t felt like this for years, not since he’d taken control of his life and done his own thing.
“How was it, exactly?”
Jesse kept it as short as possible. “Wouldn’t let me in when I went back, said I was born of the devil. So I headed out on my own.” And he’d done just fine, until he fetched up here and things that had been so clear and easy suddenly became muddled and complicated.
“Jesse.” It was soft but heavy with meaning as Matt leaned forward in his chair, like he wanted to reach out and touch him.
Jesse backed off, sitting up straight. Because if Matt touched him right now… He didn’t know exactly what would happen, but he figured it wouldn’t be pretty. Felt like he was only just holding himself together.
He practically saw Matt change gears, become the problem-solving alpha again. His eyes were still soft, though, and Jesse knew if he let him, Matt would offer whatever Jesse needed.
“No pack came looking for you, after you were first found?”
“Since no one knew I was a shifter, they wouldn’t have bothered contacting the local packs.” Kind of obvious, wasn’t it?
Matt hesitated, looking as if he were weighing his words very carefully. “Jesse, if you went missing, someone’s going to have missed you. They wouldn’t wait for law enforcement to have contacted them—they’d have been tearing up the place looking for you.”
Jesse’s jaw dropped as he stared at Matt. That someone would have missed him had never occurred to him. And then the flip side of Matt’s statement became clear. No one had looked for him, meaning they didn’t miss him. Meaning they hadn’t wanted him.
“Yeah, well. That was a long time ago.” His voice was rough.
“Maybe later, you can tell me exactly where you were found, and I can put out some feelers to the packs around there?”
For a second, Jesse could almost feel it—the dream of someone searching for him, missing him. But dreams like that would eat him alive when reality came calling.
“No point,” he said, low and flat. He got to his feet because it was either move or let everything crack open inside him.
He headed for the door, expecting Matt to call him back the whole way. But he didn’t, not until Jesse’s hand was on the handle. Jesse froze, not sure whether he was about to lash out at Matt or run.
“Don’t go too far. Cale’s still out there.”
Jesse blinked hard against the stinging in his eyes and stumbled down the hallway, desperate to be alone before he broke open completely.
MATT
More than anything, Matt wanted to hold Jesse, to do something to ease the pain he’d finally let Matt see. But he could tell how close Jesse was to breaking. The worst thing Matt could do would be to get in his way and trap him. Let him go, and hopefully he’d come back when he felt safe again.
Still, it took everything Matt had not to follow.
The rawness in Jesse’s voice, the way he’d curled in on himself as if his own words were blows landing on his unprotected body—it had gutted Matt.
Jesse had finally let him in, and now Matt had to let him walk away.
Had to listen to those quiet, stifled sounds from the hallway as Jesse fought not to cry.
He dragged a hand down his face, his chest tight. He was longing to help Jesse—but that was the thing, wasn’t it? Jesse didn’t want help. He was a survivor, pure and simple. He didn’t need Matt’s pity. He just needed Matt to be there for him whenever he decided to come back.
At least, Matt hoped that would be enough.
Meanwhile, he somehow had to process everything Jesse had told him. It was harder than it sounded given that his brain still hadn’t gotten over the shock of Jesse being an Argent. Or the fact that Argents still existed.
Given his history, it was no wonder Jesse didn’t want a pack. He didn’t understand what it meant to be part of something. He’d only ever been able to trust himself. And if Matt caught up with that so-called foster mom…
He shook it off. He had more urgent things to think about. Yeah, he’d be looking into the New Mexico packs just as soon as he could, to try and track down Jesse’s family but meanwhile, he had Cale to think about.
Cale must want Jesse because he’d seen he was an Argent. His pursuit made all the sense in the world now. Cale wasn’t just any shifter, and Matt had the distinct suspicion that Jesse was worth more to him than just a pretty silver pelt.
Matt pushed to his feet. He needed to call the pack together and let them know what was happening. Now that Cale knew Matt wouldn’t back down, he was done waiting. He’d come for Matt tonight.
And if he didn’t, Matt would go after him. This was his territory, his pack, his mate Cale was threatening. And Matt would defend them with his life.