Chapter 40
40
The beginning of the week was a scorcher. Even at dawn, the air felt sultry and the usually cool apartment stuffy. Belle did her morning routine of twenty minutes of yoga before having a stroll along the beach and a swim in the sea. She returned to the apartment and sat outside in the courtyard garden to eat her breakfast while listening to the birds and gazing up at the cloudless blue sky, the promise of a hot Ibiza day in the air.
She’d just finished getting dressed in a white maxi skirt and crop top when a message from Cara popped onto her phone.
Love what you’re doing on the socials, Belle, it’s so good to know Spirit, Serenity and Caleb are in safe hands. I hope you don’t mind me messaging you like this. I talk to Caleb all the time but he has a habit of soldiering on even when he’s falling apart. So I thought I’d come directly to you and ask a favour. He has this investment opp to take a look at later today and I think you should go with him. Not that he needs hand holding, but he will need to talk it through, which of course he can do with me, but as I’m halfway round the world dealing with a whole load of shit and won’t have seen the place, I think he’ll need to debrief with someone who can actually cast a critical eye over it. Cheers, doll.
The message puzzled her with Cara’s concern about Caleb worming into her heart, the words ‘falling apart’ jumping out. He’d certainly closed himself off, at least from her, which made it all the more concerning that Cara was confiding in her, suggesting she was really worried about him. She also had mixed feelings about going somewhere with him when they’d hardly spoken to each other over the last week.
Yeah I can go if you think it’ll be helpful. He might not want me to though…
She considered whether she should tell her more, mention that Caleb was giving her the cold shoulder, but then the chances were if Cara spoke to him regularly that piece of information had the potential to get back to him, so she left it and sent the message.
As Belle was washing up her bowl and mug, she noticed that Cara was writing something in reply, then she stopped as if thinking it through. Belle was heading out of the door by the time the message did pop up.
You’re his events manager and the perfect person to help him talk through a decision like this – professionally. And I kinda know about the time you’ve spent together recently. He’s needed the support and if he’s confused over anything then that’s for him to figure out. So don’t worry. I’ll suggest it and I’m sure he’ll agree. All will be good. x
Professionally. That was the word that now stuck out. Their relationship had strayed from that, and what good had it done? When she’d first arrived and they’d talked and spent time together there’d been a friendliness that had felt natural, yet over time a professional distance had slowly disintegrated. Ignoring her own advice about mixing business with pleasure had been foolish because her desire, longing and delight in spending time with Caleb had been tarnished by confusion, uncertainty and anxiety.
She decided to get on with her day and if Caleb agreed with Cara that he wanted her to go with him then she was sure he’d let her know. With a wedding happening at Serenity the following week, she worked on that in the shared office. The next Ushua?a club night was happening on Friday evening so she dropped Diego an email, which was far easier than having to talk to him. Not that she minded any longer. A definite weight had been lifted there, but she wasn’t ready to have a conversation about him, Gem and Jack. She’d seen him chatting to Caleb by the pool at Solace after Gem had told him the truth, but she hadn’t spoken to Caleb beyond work-related matters since then. She definitely wasn’t going to broach such an emotive subject with Diego.
As she stopped for lunch to have a sandwich on the stone wall that edged Spirit’s grounds, it crossed her mind that she’d already reverted to her old habits of pushing her worries to the back of her mind to avoid dealing with them – a short-term fix, and not a great one either.
It was only a shadow falling across her that alerted her to Caleb. He sat on the wall next to her, facing towards Spirit’s garden and the poolside suites rather than the beach. ‘Cara said you’re coming with me this afternoon.’
‘Only if it’ll be helpful and you want me to – it was her idea,’ Belle said coolly, not wanting him to get the wrong end of the stick.
‘It’s a good idea.’ He seemed distracted and didn’t catch her eye. ‘Pack a bag with swim things and evening wear. Knowing Eddie, he’ll want us to experience all La Retirada has to offer. I’ll meet you out front in an hour.’
Belle sighed as Caleb strode away and she was left staring out at the sea rhythmically folding onto the shore. A young couple who were staying at the hotel were strolling along the beach hand in hand. There was a heaviness in her heart, a foreboding sense that going with him was a mistake when things felt so uncertain. She desperately wished they could return to the easy way they’d had with each other when she’d first arrived.
By the time Belle met Caleb by his Jeep and they’d left the hotel grounds, the day was blisteringly hot. With the roof up and the air-conditioning on, the drive inland was actually pleasant.
‘I’ve behaved badly,’ Caleb said while keeping his eyes fixed on the road. ‘By keeping out of your way…’
‘So you have been intentionally avoiding me?’
Caleb’s jaw tightened.
‘It’s okay.’ Belle sighed. ‘You’re entitled to protect your mental health or whatever it is you’ve been doing.’ Her words came out snappier than she’d intended.
‘None of this is straightforward, you understand.’ And now his voice was clipped.
The ball of tension that had formed the moment she’d read Cara’s message intensified, but this time she wasn’t going to allow her unsettled feelings to fester.
‘Just see it from my point of view,’ she said as Caleb shoved the Jeep into fifth gear and sped along the country road past rows of fruit trees and scorched ochre-red soil. ‘You did something amazing for me so I could help my friend. I confided in you because I thought we’d progressed to that stage of our…’ She was going to say ‘relationship’ but that sounded far too serious. ‘Friendship,’ she said instead. ‘Perhaps I was wrong, because after a wonderful evening at yours with you hosting a party simply to enable Diego and Gem to talk, you ghosted me.’
Belle grimaced at her choice of words because it made it sound as if they were in a romantic relationship rather than just being friends and that he’d cut off all communication, which he hadn’t – it had just felt as if he had. But then again, real friends didn’t behave this way with each other, blowing hot and cold. She’d put a lot of focus on friendship over the past couple of weeks and Caleb’s behaviour didn’t feel friendly.
‘I…’ Caleb began to say then closed his mouth, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. ‘It’s been hard, you know.’
‘No, I don’t know because that’s my point, you’ve shut me out rather than talked to me.’ Her voice was rising, the ball of tension worsening.
‘I’ve needed space. It was a mistake for us to—’ He stopped short, cutting off whatever he was about to say, but Belle understood perfectly that getting close to her had been the mistake because they’d become this muddled nothingness which they now had to navigate their way out of while spending the rest of the day together. The lines between colleagues and whatever the hell they were now had been blurred.
Belle wanted nothing more than to ease their awkwardness, but she was also furious with herself for allowing her heart to run away with her, to have even contemplated something more happening with him.
‘Why don’t I make it easy for both of us and suggest we stick to a strictly professional relationship. No further awkward intros to your friends and family; no more confused feelings or uncertainty. You’re my boss and I’m your employee. End of.’
Anger had made her speak without thinking it through, but she didn’t want to become fixated again on someone she couldn’t be with. Caleb wasn’t in the right place emotionally and he might never be; she didn’t want to fall for someone who was never going to let her into his heart. She’d had plenty of one-sided relationships and they’d never worked out.
Caleb’s grunted acknowledgement suggested he felt the same.
Edmund ‘Eddie’ Rosen was a British expat still living a carefree and single lifestyle in his sixties. He had a shock of white hair, a deep tan and laughter lines. He wore a short-sleeved shirt completely unbuttoned that revealed tufts of white chest hair and a belly that suggested he enjoyed food and booze. His booming voice reached them before he did. He greeted them with kisses to each cheek, his larger-than-life look matching his personality. Throwing an arm around each of their shoulders, he talked non-stop as he led them across the sun-baked courtyard.
Eddie was everything Belle had hoped Caleb wouldn’t be – over-the-top, flashy, big and brash, but she was mightily relieved that his upbeat personality erased the unbearable tension that had built since Belle had suggested to Caleb that they be nothing more than colleagues. They hadn’t said a word to each other since. If she’d been hoping that it would clear the air, she’d been mistaken.
As he took them on a tour, her impression of Eddie was at odds with the place itself. La Retirada was quite something. The finca, a restored 500-year-old traditional farmhouse, was as unflashy as it got. On the outside, its stone walls were painted white, while the courtyard tiles were a pink-tinged terracotta that brought colour to the predominately white, stone and leafy green surroundings. The pool was the centrepiece with double day beds shaded by thatched roofs and fig trees. There was a barbecue area with an outdoor kitchen, and the terracotta pots with tall cacti were bold against the bright walls. Inside, the thick stone walls were invitingly cool. The place may not have been ready for paying guests but it looked finished to Belle with simply furnished but charming rooms that flowed from one to another, a living area with a wood burner at the heart, everywhere luxuriously rustic with beamed ceilings, exposed stone and wooden lintels.
After Eddie had given them the full tour, he led them to an outdoor sofa and chairs beneath a large fig tree, its canopy of leaves encompassing them like a natural umbrella. He returned a few minutes later with a jug of cloudy lemonade clinking with ice cubes.
‘Homemade from the lemons in the grove,’ Eddie said as he poured them each a glass.
La Retirada was rustic and enchanting and Eddie was surprising, bold and memorable. His outgoing personality and confidence reminded Belle a little of Gem, which made her wonder if there were struggles beneath his confidently loud veneer.
Belle sat back and listened as Eddie and Caleb talked business, Eddie catching him up about his plans. The delays had meant the retreat hadn’t been ready to open for this summer season but that hadn’t stopped Eddie from already planning an on-site restaurant in one of two converted barns to sit alongside the finca which would serve as a yoga and art retreat. The restaurant was the part of the project that he was pitching to Caleb as a business proposal to partner up on.
Belle felt a little out of her depth as she listened and she hoped it didn’t show. Perhaps her discomfort stemmed from feeling like the odd one out. Instead of it being Cara sitting with them, she was the new events manager. The obvious friendship Caleb and Eddie had made her realise how recently she’d entered Caleb’s life, while the tone of their conversation on the drive over had left her stomach churning.
Belle took a sip of the lemonade, to ease the tension she was feeling. It was fresh, a perfect balance of sweet and sour, and the cool drink refreshed her senses, allowing her to refocus on the conversation. The ideas Caleb and Eddie were bouncing between them were exciting, including using the produce from the finca’s almond, lemon, orange and fig trees in the restaurant kitchen. The vibe of La Retirada reminded her of Serenity but it was surrounded by olive groves with views to distant mountains rather than by the coast with its mesmerising sea views. It was very Caleb, the farmhouse a traditional take on Solace, so a place she knew would appeal to him. He’d bring fresh and suitable ideas to it. That was if he’d even want her opinion.
‘You look thoughtful, Belle. What do you think?’ Eddie switched his attention from Caleb to her. It took her by surprise and she realised she must have been in a daze, her mind racing away with a million possibilities.
She felt both of their eyes on her, Caleb’s in particular, and she wanted more than anything to make things right between them, to not feel distraught by the thought that shutting down the possibility of anything happening between them had been a mistake. More than anything, she wanted to be able to look at him without her heart colliding with her ribs.
What she understood most of all was the need to be truthful and not second-guess what Caleb would want to hear. It was his money, his investment, ultimately his decision, but Cara had wanted her here for her honest opinion.
‘I think there’s so much potential, not just with the setting but the focus on the ingredients grown here. There are opportunities galore: olive grove picnics, olive picking parties, communal feasts, cooking retreats. A restaurant could be at the heart of all that.’
‘Oh, I like you, Belle,’ Eddie said, sitting forward and clasping his hands together. ‘Sparkling with ideas.’
‘There’s a lot to think on, Eddie, before we get carried away with the possibilities.’
Belle’s cheeks flushed as Caleb’s eyes grazed her face, the shafts of sunlight through the translucent leaves dappled on his.
‘Yeah, yeah, I know you, Caleb. Keeping your cards close to your chest. How about we stop talking business and have a proper drink. How often do we get to do this and catch up?’ Eddie slapped Caleb on the back. ‘And you must stay! That way you can both get a real feel for the place. Sunset on the terrace is special, I promise, and sunrise in the olive grove before a swim is magical.’ He sat back, spread his arms out along the cushioned back of the sofa and gave a satisfied smile. ‘We’ll fire up the barbecue; it’ll be like old times. No need to drive back; I can put you up for the night.’ He looked between them with a raised eyebrow. ‘One room or two though?’
‘Two,’ they said in unison.
Eddie laughed. ‘I wasn’t sure. You seem, er… good together.’