Chapter 18 #3
She firmed herself up. “If you are going to insist that I need help, I will save you the time. I do not need it, Rhys. I am perfectly capable of doing this on my own. Compared to what I have been through, it is nothing.”
She spoke sharply, and more rudely than she intended. It was not something that she wanted to do, but old habits were hard to leave behind, and Violet hated being told that she could not do something.
It did bring her a little bit of guilt, however. She had noticed this last week how kind Rhys was, the little things he had done to help. He did not overstep or take over, but merely massaged around the edges of the tasks that troubled her most.
He is certainly proving himself, and every day I realize more how good of a person he is. Even if he does not see it himself.
“I know you will never ask for help,” he said. “Which is why I am not asking.” He looked at her with that same worried expression. “And while you are sure to be furious with me, you will soon find that the time to ask for help has come and gone.”
“What… what do you mean?”
“When I found you asleep, I checked on what it was that had you working so hard. Mostly busy work, small tasks that could be easily solved if you would be willing to delegate. So, I decided to take the liberty of doing that for you.”
“What!”
“It is done,” he said firmly. “The preparations for the ball are completed, Violet. Finished. Even if you wanted to do them alone, there is nothing left for you to do.”
Violet stared blankly at Rhys as if she had not understood him. He continued to look at her, no signs of guilt or wrongdoing found. And slowly, she felt the anger building inside her… the rage… the notion that she was incapable and needed help!
“You… you had no right…” she said darkly.
“Perhaps,” he agreed. “But please, Violet, do not see this as a betrayal. This ball is still your own, you did everything, and when the night comes, you ought to feel proud for what you accomplished. All I did was assist, and in the smallest way possible.”
“That is not…” She clenched her jaw. “I told you… and that you went behind my back… you knew you were doing the wrong thing.” She glared at him. “You knew how upset I would be.”
His expression was sad. “I did, but I took a gamble.”
“Are you happy with it?” The anger she felt was unjustified, and was Violet thinking clearly, she might have seen that. But she was tired. She was frazzled. And she felt powerless in ways that she hated. “Are you happy with your gamble?”
And still, Rhys did not balk.
“Let me ask you one question,” he said, “before you unleash your anger on me. Where is Lucy right now?”
“She is—” Violet caught her tongue. “I… why are you asking me that?”
“Do you know the answer?”
“Well…” Violet blinked through her confusion. “No, I… she is breaking her fast. She must be.”
“But you do not know,” he continued gently.
“That is the point. You are so focused on this ball that you have ignored the one person who needs you the most. She is who matters, Violet. Not the ball, and certainly not your unrelenting desire to prove how independent you can be. Be angry with me if you must, but go to Lucy, spend time with her, do as I know you want to.” His expression turned pleading. “Be her mother.”
That final plea broke Violet.
The anger and the fury left her. The stubborn zeal that burned hot disappeared. She very nearly stumbled back as if she had been slapped, slowly coming into herself so that for the first time in days she was able to see clearly.
How could I have been so blind?
Yes, Violet hated asking for help, but that was not what mattered. As she had said from the beginning, Lucy was her primary concern, and in her zest to prove her independence, Violet had forgotten that.
Worse still, Rhys was who had noticed it. Where she had forgotten about Lucy, Rhys kept her in his mind. He was the one who worried about her happiness and her care, and Violet was the one who had failed.
Her shoulders slumped and she bowed her head. “I…am sorry, Rhys. God, I have made a fool of myself.”
“No, Violet,” he said with a gentle smile. “You have not. You just needed a reminder of what really matters.”
She looked up, and the warmth of his smile, the look in his eyes, did much to make her feel better. He was not judging her. He was not lauding his victory over her. Again, all she saw in Rhys was his concern, the very real fact that he worried about her.
“I will remember it,” she said with a weak laugh. “I promise. And the next time I need help…”
“Just remember that you are not alone,” he said to her. “I am your husband, Violet, and where this marriage might be a strange one, it still means something. At least to me, it does.”
“As it does to me,” she said. And for the first time, Violet realized that she meant it.
This marriage was not traditional, but it was not one of isolation either. She was not alone, for the first time in so long, Violet had others to look out for her as she had always done for Rose. And finally, with much effort, she was willing to admit as much.
Finally, she was starting to see this marriage for what it could be.