Chapter 19
Nineteen
The night of the ball arrived, and Violet found that she was not feeling nearly as nervous as she ought to be. For weeks, nerves had been a constant companion, and a large part of the reason that she had thrown herself so fastidiously into her tasks was to distract from them.
But as she readied herself in her bedroom with Rose, she tried to find those nerves as if she needed them to keep her alert and focused; proof that she had not lost her mind and that tonight was a most important thing. However, the more she searched, the more obvious it became that they were gone.
And while Violet did not want to admit to the reason for that, she suspected it… she felt it, as much as anything.
“Would you look at the two of us.” Rose stepped in beside Violet.
There was a full-length mirror before them, and Rose put her arm around Violet so that they both faced it.
“Who would have ever guessed? A Season ball, hosted by you, attended to by me.” She laughed.
“If this is a dream, may we never wake up.”
“It is rather surprising,” Violet agreed. “Just two months ago, I feared that we would be living on the street.”
“Surprising, maybe,” Rose said. “But well earned. You did this, Violet. This is because of you. And do not dare forget it.”
“Oh, I do not know about that. Rhys was—” Violet caught her tongue before she finished. As if it was a natural reflex, she was about to praise Rhys for helping her. She saw Rose smirking and Violet looked flatly at her. “You are right, Rose. This was earned, and we both deserve it.”
Standing together, the two sisters took a moment to admire their gowns.
Violet was dressed in a gown of magenta; the shades varied, swirling across her bodice and down her skirt like a storm.
Rose’s gown was ruby colored, and the pattern was stitched in deep gold so it looked as if vines were slowly snaking their way up her body.
Their jewelry was chosen to match their gowns, their hair was worn in ringlets with tiaras to pin it back, and their faces had been powdered pristine white.
Look at us… how far we have come.
Violet’s entire life had been one of struggle, and all she had ever wanted was to know that her sister would be taken care of. That was now proven, and to see what all the effort had achieved brought a tear to her eye.
In that way, perhaps it was not such a bad thing to finally accept help? Now that the hard work was done, why not relax and be happy for a change? Nobody had earned it more.
“Shall we?” Rose linked her arm through Violet’s. “I have a feeling that His Grace is waiting for you. As I have a feeling he is going to be rather taken with how good you look.”
Violet scoffed at the implication. “He will be pleased that I look the part and that I will not embarrass him. That is all.”
“Are you certain about that?”
No, she was not certain. While Violet wanted to get through tonight without anything going wrong, she knew that so long as Rhys was there, she would be safe and looked after. Not something that she was used to needing, but now it was something that she was grateful for.
What was more, she did rather like the idea of impressing him.
These last few days had moved strangely between herself and Rhys. While it was not awkward, it was certainly tense. They both seemed to understand what tonight meant, and while they might have said it was merely for appearances, they both realized that it was so much more.
This marriage walked on a knife edge, and if it had any chance of becoming something else, of growing into something real, tonight would prove it so.
Do I want such a thing? And is it time that I stop lying to myself?
She and Rose left the room together. From there it was a short trip down the hallway until they arrived at the top of the staircase. Rhys waited in the foyer for them. As soon as they appeared, he looked up and the expression on his face was one that Violet felt more than saw.
His eyes became wide as if in surprise. His mouth opened just a little bit. There was a sense that he could not talk… that he did not know what he was looking at. All he could do was stare.
Violet blushed as his eyes held her. Her heart fluttered. And while she might have once dismissed such a look, not wanting it, she accepted his gaze, letting it take her fully so that she wondered if she might float.
“Violet…” Rhys gasped finally. “You look…”
She pressed her lips together to keep her smile at bay, and as she went to step forward, she realized that Rose was not there. Her sister had taken a step back, hiding, giving the moment to Violet and Rhys.
“You look perfect,” Rhys managed as he walked to the base of the steps. “A duchess like no other.”
“You do not look so bad yourself,” she said, but it came out softly spoken and embarrassed.
Then, her legs suddenly trembling, she started down the stairs as her husband continued to gaze up at her in wonder.
It was only once she reached him, and after he took her by the arm, that Rose appeared at the top of the steps and made her way down. And she smiled coyly the whole time, clearly rather pleased with herself.
“What do we do now?” Violet asked, shoving down the butterflies that tried to escape from her stomach.
“The guests will be arriving soon,” he answered. “We shall greet them at the entrance to the ballroom. Shall we…”
“Yes, let us be about this.” She pretended to act as if it was a trial for her.
Rhys laughed. “Oh, do not pretend that you are not excited, Violet. You should be. You worked so hard for tonight, so nobody ought to enjoy it more than you.”
Again, Violet knew that she ought to have felt nervous. The importance of the night could not be understated, and one wrong thing done might ruin it completely. But with her arm linked in Rhys’, and with him by her side, such feelings of nervousness failed to materialize.
She felt perfectly safe beside him, knowing that he would protect and look after her. Not a feeling that she was used to, but one that she was coming to appreciate.
“I suppose I am looking forward to it a little,” she admitted coyly. “But no more than that.”
“That will have to do,” he laughed.
They made their way to the ballroom. They stood at the entrance together waiting for the guests. Rose faded into the background; she had not been asked to do so, but she clearly realized that her presence was not needed.
And then, after many weeks of hard work, the evening began.
The first hour was slow going. The guests arrived in pairs, as if they had all planned not to come at the same time. Most of them Violet did not recognize, but their names were familiar, as she had sent the invitations.
And while she worried that it would be a repeat of the supper at Lord and Lady Fairview’s home, she soon learned that she need not have been anxious.
Perhaps she would never be fully accepted by the ton.
Perhaps they would always suspect her. But with Rhys by her side, they at least pretended to honor her.
“Your Grace!” The first of the guests swept towards them. “And Your Grace. You two look ravishing.”
“Lord Cadwell,” Rhys greeted them with a short bow. “Lady Cadwell, thank you so much for joining us.”
“We would not miss it,” Lord Cadwell assured them. “Eager to meet your new wife, as well. Your Grace…” Lord Cadwell bowed deeply. “We are so pleased to meet you, truly. It is an honor.”
“Oh…” Violet blinked in surprise. “Thank you. That is very kind.”
“Please, come and speak to both later,” he continued as he took his wife by the arm. “We would love to learn more about you. Your humble origins… your rise! I am sure that is a tale!”
There was a hint of judgment there, but it was tempered, and Violet decided that was probably the best she could hope for.
“I would like that,” she said.
It continued on that way as the first of the guests arrived. They were all friendly. They were all polite. And they all clearly respected Rhys, or perhaps feared him, enough that they treated Violet as one of their own.
Even Lord Stokesworth seemed to have rethought his previous remarks, and when Violet saw him and his wife approach, she braced herself. Beside her, Rhys stiffened.
“Your Grace…” Lord Stokesworth bowed deeply. “It is an honor to see you again. And Your Grace…” He bowed again for Violet. “I fear I owe you an apology.”
“Oh?” Violet said as if she did not know what he meant.
“The last time we spoke I…” He grimaced with shame. “Words cannot describe how awful I feel, and while I do not expect you to forgive me, I ask that you give me the chance to make it up to you.”
Perhaps it was just words. Perhaps he was only saying what he knew he had to say. But that he held his tongue, and at least pretended at civility, was the most that Violet could have hoped for.
“Not at all,” she said with a forgiving smile. “As far as I am concerned, it did not happen. So, let us not worry about it.”
He blinked in surprise. “That is very kind of you.”
“One of my many positive attributes, I assure you.”
Beside her, she heard Rhys snicker.
Once the first of the guests finished arriving, Rhys suggested that they join the ball. The rest of the guests would arrive in time, but they ought to begin enjoying the event and being seen.
She agreed eagerly, and she was not surprised in the least when he took her by the arm and led her inside. In fact, she wanted him with her. Again, while he was there, she felt safe, knowing that tonight would go well and without any worries.
Is this what it is like to rely on others? It is not nearly so bad as I thought.
“Wow,” Rhys said as they entered. “Violet, this is… amazing. Incredible.”
She pretended to dismiss it. “It is not that impressive.’
“It is,” he said. “There are few in the ton capable. Maybe you are more of a duchess than you give yourself credit for?”
While Violet wanted to be humble, she could not deny how transcendent and utterly perfect the ballroom was.
She had settled on a theme of spring, simple and effective, and one that was hard to mistake.
Thus, the floral arrangements were all colored accordingly, the lighting was a somber orange with touches of brighter yellow peppered throughout, and the music evoked feelings of joy and happiness and starting anew…
at least that was what the orchestra had told her.
As well as that, the colors of the gowns were vibrant; they created a kaleidoscope that dazzled and struck awe into her heart everywhere Violet looked.
The guests laughed as they drank. The dull hum of cheerful conversation drifted throughout.
Smiles were seen on faces, eyes sparkled, and the mood had Violet’s relief soaring because she had done this.
The ball was a success and rarely had she felt so proud.
She was not with Rhys the entire night, however. Once they had circulated the room and spoken to various lords and ladies, he was pulled away, while she went to find her cousin and sister.
“Well, this is something else!” Rose gushed as Violet came for her. “Violet, I cannot believe that you did this!”
“It certainly is impressive,” Charlotte agreed. “And to think, you did it all on your own.”
Violet very nearly accepted the praise. Once, she would have without question. But Charlotte’s compliments did not sit as well with her as she might have thought, and she found herself speaking before she could stop.
“Oh, it was not all me,” she said. “Rhys helped too.”
She had expected the two women to share a look, and they did not disappoint. But while that was a sure thing, Violet’s reaction was likely different from what they had predicted.
“I am not ashamed to say that Rhys helped me,” Violet said to them both. “Nor am I ashamed to be happy that he did. He has been nothing but helpful and I ought to appreciate him for it.”
Rose blinked in surprise. “Well… I suppose that teasing you is no longer necessary.”
“Oh, we were not teasing,” Charlotte assured her. “Truly, we are happy for you. I was not sure about the duke when you first married him, but I am happy to say that I was wrong. He is clearly not what I expected.”
“Not at all,” Rose agreed.
Violet smiled and she did not try and hide it. “Believe me, I am as surprised as you are. But lately, it has been…” She sighed. “It has been easy. Which is more than I could have hoped for.”
“And what else?” Rose pressed on her. “What else might you hope for?”
“What do you mean?”
Again, the two friends shared a look.
“Oh, not that.” Violet waved them down with a little more urgency than she meant to. “For now, it is enough that things are simple. For Lucy’s sake,” she added quickly. “That Rhys and I get along so well is merely a happy circumstance and nothing more…”
Even Violet did not believe her words. Not really.
For weeks now, she had wanted that to be the case. She had tried so hard to deny any feelings that dared to surface and show themselves. She had not wanted them! Always, this was about Lucy, and should she be happy, that would be enough.
But what of my own happiness? Does that not matter too?
Slowly, her walls were being breached, and Violet was starting to wonder when they might tumble entirely. And when they did, would Rhys be there to scale the wreckage? Even if she wanted such a thing, what did he want?
That was a thought that stayed with her as the night wore on.
But if she might have worried, if she might have assumed that he preferred to keep things as they were. That he came and found her soon after was a sign that he at least wanted to be in her company. And that she was glad to see him was a sign that she wanted to be in his too.
Their marriage had started as a contractual obligation. It had then grown into a partnership. Now, it was turning into something else. and Violet, always independent, always sure that she would be happy alone, dared to dream for the first time what that something else might be.