Chapter 20
Twenty
Violet stayed by Rhys’ side as the last of the guests left. They stood at the entrance to the ballroom, their arms linked, happy to smile and give their goodbyes for all to see.
It had been a successful evening, and Violet was thrilled about the fact. Just as she was glad that it was over. As much as she had enjoyed herself, it was a relief to see its end so that now she could finally relax.
Much overdue, in my opinion.
“And that is the last of them,” Rhys said with a deep groan as he let his shoulders slump. “I thought they would never leave.”
“Are my feet supposed to hurt like this?’ Violet joked. “I might have to spend all of tomorrow in bed with them propped up.”
Rhys looked at her with a smile. “You did so well tonight, Violet. Really, you have no idea how proud of you I am.”
Her heart swelled at his compliment, and she let him see it. “Not just me, Rhys. You helped… as loath as I am to admit it,” she added with laughter.
“Oh, it is not that bad,” he said. “Admit it. You rather liked having someone to help you.”
She shied away and then forced herself to look at him again. “Not someone, Rhys. You.”
They looked at one another for a moment. The meaning of her words was unmistakable. As was their effect on Rhys. She wondered if he knew just how significant it was for her to say something like that, but when she saw his shoulders straighten and his chest rise, she knew that he did.
“Say…” He hesitated, suddenly a little awkward. “I know that your feet are hurting, but I wonder if they might have a little strength left in them?”
“Oh? What do you mean?”
“It is a rather pleasant night,” he said. “And not so late. Will you join me for a walk through the garden?”
Violet had been feeling thoroughly worn out a mere second ago. Her mind had already been fixed firmly on her bed, and she could not wait to collapse in it so that she might sleep for days. But at Rhys’ suggestion, that tiredness vanished.
“I would love that,” she said.
He just smiled, kept his arm linked through her own, and led her from the hallway and towards the back garden.
The moon sat full in the night’s sky; its shine was radiant, washing across the garden so that the flowers and the trees and the grass were painted white.
There was no breeze to speak of. Silence greeted them as they stepped onto the pathway.
And Violet suddenly became aware of how loudly her heart thumped in her chest.
“I wish Lucy could have been there tonight,” Rhys began as they walked.
“Me too,” Violet admitted. “But her time will come. She is your daughter, remember. My feeling is that she will have her fair share of balls by the time she is through.”
“As will you,” Rhys noted. “Hopefully, the next one will not be so stressful.”
“It better not be,” she said with a deep sigh. “And the next time I suggest hosting a ball, I want you to remind me of how difficult this was. Talk some sense into me!”
He laughed. “Oh, you enjoyed it.”
“Maybe a little…” she grinned.
They walked along the garden path with their arms linked. They had nowhere to go. They were in no rush. It was just them, alone, in each other’s company, which was the only thing that mattered.
And as they walked, Violet felt that same sensation that had been steadily building these past few weeks—that same sensation that had exploded inside her earlier tonight.
It went beyond the feelings of safety found in Rhys’ company. And it was more than mere comfort and companionship. As much as she now enjoyed his company, such a claim felt far too simple and almost dismissive.
She wanted to be in his company. She wanted to be with him. Whatever this marriage was, whatever it might become, Violet knew then that she had made the right decision in agreeing to it. All that mattered now was what Rhys thought.
“Rhys, I —” Violet’s words caught in her throat. “I wanted to say that I… for a while now, I have been thinking…” A flush rose up her chest. “I wanted to thank you.”
“We have been over this,” he chuckled. “I was glad to help.”
“No, not for tonight,” she said. “When you first met me, I was not very nice to you. In fact, I was downright rude and awful.”
He laughed. “I remember.”
“Worse than that, I was so sure that you were trying to trick me.” As they walked, she looked ahead, unable to bring herself to look at him. “I thought the worst of you and for no good reason, and I continued to think that way until you made it impossible for me to do so.”
“I know that, Violet,” he said. “But I do not blame you. I know how hard your life has been, and you were right to be cautious.”
“I was wrong,” she said. “About everything. You… this marriage. It was not what I expected, but I… I have realized…” She sighed and then laughed. “This is harder to say than it should be.”
Rhys came to a sudden stop. Violet stumbled forward a little, then turned to find him looking at her. He did not smile. He did not admire her. It was a simple look, one that willed her to be honest.
“You can say anything to me, Violet.” His voice was soft but not withdrawn. “I know how hard it is for you to trust, and I will not blame you if that trust is not yet there. But please know, you can trust me. Whatever you want to say, you need not worry.”
“I have realized how happy I am that I said yes,” she said, finding the words far easier to say than she imagined. “I did not know what to expect from this marriage, but it has proven that the risk I took was the right one.”
Rhys nodded. “Lucy is lucky to have you.”
“This is not about Lucy.” She was sure to smile, wanting him to see it in the moon’s white light. “This is about us, Rhys. It is about… what this marriage has become. And what it…” She hesitated, sudden doubt felt deep in her stomach. “And what it might one day be.”
The walls around her were crumbling. Slowly, Violet was giving herself over to those feelings that she had kept buried for so long.
And while she was scared to do so, she felt that she owed it to herself.
Having never felt this way before, to ignore these feelings would be wrong… and she deserved better than that.
But tearing down her walls was just the beginning. What mattered was Rhys and what he felt. More than that, if he would be willing to admit it.
She knew he had feelings for her. She had sensed them… seen them with her own eyes. But while she was stubborn, he was so much worse. Moreover, Violet wanted to be happy, whereas Rhys did not think he could be.
But you can be, Rhys. All you need to do is believe it…
“I…” Rhys withdrew, looking away. “I do not know what to say to that, Violet. Or what you want me to say.”
“Do you trust me?” she asked him.
“I do.” Still, he looked away. “You are the first person I have trusted in longer than I can remember. The first person I have wanted to trust.”
“I feel the same way,” she said. “So, if you trust me, then tell me the truth. This marriage… are you glad that you went through with it? Or do you regret it?”
His head snapped up. “Never, Violet. If you know anything, know that I do not regret it. Not for a second.”
“And not just because of Lucy…” she led him.
Again, he hesitated. But this time, he did not look away. He stared right at her, his brow furrowed, thoughts passing behind his eyes that she could not begin to imagine. Fear, maybe? Doubt? What would it take for him to finally admit what he wanted?
“No, not just because of Lucy,” he said slowly as if the words came to him in pieces. “Originally, I told myself as much. It was an easy excuse to give, that all I cared about was Lucy’s wellbeing. I still do, of course, but I find that she is not the only person who now concerns me.”
“Oh?”
“It is hard for me, Violet…” He took a step toward her; it looked difficult, as if an unseen force was pushing against him. “To… to care for another. I told you of my sister, my fear about what happens to those I care about.”
“I think I have shown that I can look after myself,” she said with gentle humor.
“But you do not have to,” he said as he took another step, closing the space between them. “I want to look after you, to protect you, to keep you safe. That is what this marriage now means to me, and not for a moment do I regret it.”
“And I want the same thing,” she said, her voice cracking. “We have both changed in that way, but I do not mind it. Where you are concerned, Rhys, I… I want you to be there for me. I want this marriage to mean something.”
She saw her words affect him. It was as if a fire was lit somewhere deep inside, setting him ablaze so the doubt and the confusion burned away. He stood tall. He stood proud. He stood as if he was announcing himself to her for the first time.
Slowly, he reached up with his right hand and cupped the side of her face. Violet caught her breath. His touch was not only warm, but it also felt right. It felt safe.
She looked into his eyes, letting him see her innermost feelings.
“I ought not to want this,” he breathed as he continued to look into her eyes. “It ought to be the last thing… I tried so hard to fight it, Violet. You have no idea how much.”
“I do,” she said. “Because I fought just as hard.”
“Tell me,” he asked her. “What do you want? Really?”
She considered the question and the answers that she could give. Did she want a real marriage? Did she want love and companionship and all that went with it? Did she want someone she trusted in her life? Did she want to stop worrying about others?
So many answers but the more that she thought, the more obvious the answer became. So, she held his stare, she licked her lips, and she spoke in a whisper so soft that Rhys might have missed it if his face were not so close.
“What do I want? You, Rhys. I want you.”
With those words said, her walls finally came tumbling down. And standing on the other side in the rubble, waiting for her, was Rhys. He did not speak. He did not look surprised. He was determined, sure of himself, and he knew exactly what he wanted.
Rhys leaned forward, his lips puckered, his head slightly tilted. He brought her face towards him, and Violet gave herself over completely. Sometimes, it was not such a bad thing to not be in control…
And when their lips met, Violet knew that she had made the right decision.
And not just concerning the marriage, but Rhys, tonight, her confession.
Their kiss was like a light in the darkness, bright and powerful and safe.
It erupted and wrapped around them both, blinding them from the night, and announcing them to the world.
It was a kiss felt not just on Violet’s lips but in her heart. No doubt. No second guessing. No thoughts other than how right this was. And that alone was proof that she had done the right thing.
And when they parted, they did not shy away, or suddenly look afraid and worried. Rather, Rhys smiled at her, and she saw his relief just as she felt it in herself.
“Who would have guessed?” Rhys said with a smile.
“Not me,” she said back. “Not that I am complaining.”
‘Neither am I, Violet,” he said. “Neither am I.”