Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Rhys was never one to speak about his feelings. He found that such things were better kept to himself. That way, he could pretend that they did not exist. That way, he could keep them from those he cared about…
However, the past week had been harder than he imagined.
It was spent alone in his office, purposefully avoiding Violet and even Lucy. He could only imagine what Violet was thinking about him, and he refused to even consider how confused Lucy must have been—that hurt as much as anything.
He stayed strong in his resolve. In time, he would reintroduce himself to them, slowly becoming a part of their lives once more. But not until Violet knew that they had no chance at repairing their relationship. Better still, not until she no longer wanted such a thing.
And if that did not work… there was one other option, but one he hoped he would not have to commit to.
Hopefully, she is so furious with me that she loathes me… possibly more than I loathe myself.
So bad were things that when his cousin, Sebastian, paid him an unexpected visit, Rhys felt no desire to send the man away. The truth was that he wanted to speak to somebody about what he had done. More than that, he wanted to be told that he had made the right decision.
What he should have known was that Sebastian would be the last person to tell him as such… which might not have been such a bad thing either.
“You are a darn fool,” Sebastian said without mincing words. “But I suspect that you already know this.”
Rhys scowled at him. “If that is your effort at giving me advice, I might ask that you keep your thoughts to yourself.”
Sebastian snorted. “And if you wanted advice, I might deign to give it. But I know you, Rhys, so I know that advice is not what you want. Not really.”
“Pray do tell, cousin, what is it that I want?”
“You want to be told that you were wrong,” he said with a matter-of-fact nod. “You want to be bullied into doing the right thing. As stubborn as you are, you need to be dragged kicking and screaming.”
“False,” Rhys scoffed. “Whatever you might think of yourself, believe this.” He leveled a glare at his cousin. “I care little about your opinion, so whatever you might think of me, it changes nothing. Really, I just needed someone to vent to, and as you are here…” He shrugged.
Sebastian sat across from Rhys in his office.
He was offered a drink, but Sebastian refused. He was offered a snack, but Sebastian refused. He was offered a walk through the garden, but Sebastian refused.
Likely, from the minute that Sebastian had walked into the office and seen Rhys’ state, he had understood just how pitiful the situation was.
And while Rhys dismissed his cousin, as was expected, deep down, he prayed that his cousin would not give up. He needed someone to stand behind him and push him in the right direction. He needed someone to remind him what it meant to fight for what you believed in.
“Oh, do I not feel so honored,” he said mockingly. “So, let me sum up, if you do not mind?”
“Do I have a choice?”
Sebastian ignored him. “I came here just now to see you, only to find that you were even moodier than usual. A hard task, I know, but somehow you have managed to achieve it.”
Rhys scowled at him but could not find the strength to argue.
“When I asked, much to my surprise, you told me the truth!” Sebastian threw up his hands.
“And it could only be that, because you are not one to speak of emotions unless desperation has taken you. And from what I can see…” He looked around the dark office.
“Desperation has been your companion now for some time.”
“Are you done?”
“Not even close.” Sebastian’s expression then softened, and he dropped the mockery from his voice, adopting an expression of pity instead. “To my surprise, you told me the reason you feel this way. Your dear wife who, according to you, had stolen your heart.”
Rhys scoffed. “It is hardly that serious.”
“He says now,” Sebastian sighed. “Rhys, I know why you are so insistent on denying how you feel. Believe me, I know. But the fact that you were so willing to tell me in the first place…” He exhaled and dropped his shoulders.
“You like her, and you know that you do. To admit such a thing… to pursue it… It is not wrong of you to do so.”
Rhys spent a moment scowling in denial at his cousin, but it was a weak thing, with no fight in it at all. As Sebastian had rightly pointed out, Rhys was the one who had opened up to him in the first place.
“You are right, Sebastian,” Rhys sighed as the fight left him completely. “I… I do find myself caring for Violet. More than I thought was possible, and far more than I want to.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“You know what,” he said. “What if I…” He grimaced. “What if I accept my feelings and give them to Violet? What if I consider for even a moment that things might work out? And then, what if I… what if I do what I know I will.”
“You will not, Rhys. You are not that person.”
“What if I hurt her?” he said. “What if I do to her exactly what I did to Eleanor? No…” A shake of the head. “I cannot do that. As ironic as it is to say, I care for her too much to take that risk.”
“What then? What is the other option here? To continue to ignore her? To push her away? Will that not just do exactly what you fear in the first place? Hurting her.”
Rhys sighed and bowed his head.
He knew what he had to do… the only thing. In order to save Violet, there was just the single option before him, and while he knew that she would hate him for it, he prayed that she would understand, even if he did not fully understand it himself…
Violet raced through the manor as if her backside was on fire. Maybe it was? She had not been able to sit still for the entire carriage ride back to the estate, and she had leapt from the carriage less than a second after it stopped.
She still could not believe what she had learned. But the more time that she had to think about it, the more sense it made.
Of course it was Lucy! A girl who had no history, no known background, who had been shipped around various orphanages as a baby so that nobody could ever possibly know where she had come from.
Even Rhys had said that she looked like his sister, and while that had seemed like a mere coincidence, it now made perfect sense!
I cannot wait to see the look on his face.
Violet no longer cared about how she had been treated this last week. She knew the reason for it, so she knew it was not personal. More importantly, she knew that when Rhys learned the truth, all that would be in the past.
Oh, she was excited! To see Rhys officially reunited with his niece was one thing.
But that this would also see their relationship get back to where it had been that night in the garden.
It was more than Violet could have hoped for, and she positively vibrated with excited anticipation as she looked to the future and what might happen.
Her marriage with Rhys would become a real thing. They would have a family together. And most importantly, they would be happy.
She practically sprinted up the steps in the foyer, and she had to control herself as she hurried down the hallway. She knew where Rhys would be, as it was where he had been all week. And sure enough, when she spied the door to his office, she knew that her instincts were correct.
The door was ajar, and Violet was just about to throw it open when she heard voices coming from within.
She stopped immediately, one hand reaching for the doorhandle, surprise catching her. Rhys should have been alone, as was his way. But she listened closely, and she recognized the second voice within seconds.
“What do you mean to do?” Lord Eastmoor asked; his voice was soft, as if even he did not want his question to be heard.
“The only thing that I can do,” Rhys said. “I will continue to distance myself from Violet—if she tries to stop me, I will tell her the truth.”
“And which truth is that?”
“The only truth that matters,” Rhys said. “That I do not care for her and that I never did. I lied about it for Lucy’s sake, and whatever she feels for me is irrelevant.”
“Rhys…”
“And if that does not work, then I will take further action. I will send her away if I must. She cannot stay here if she insists on trying to turn me into something that I am not, and the sooner that she is gone, the better.”
“Are you sure about that?”
A pause, and Violet leaned in closer…
“I am,” Rhys said. “Never have I been more sure about anything.”
Violet heard the words like a knife plunging through her chest. She stumbled back, gasping and writhing in pain, the likes of which she had never felt.
Suddenly, all the excitement, all the joy, it vanished as if it had never been. Had she been wrong about everything? Was she really so blind?
She considered what she had just heard… ran through the words…
and was left feeling even worse than before.
All week, Violet had been so certain that Rhys was lying to himself about his feelings, just as she had known that all he needed was to be shown that he was not the man he believed himself to be.
But she was wrong. He was that man. He had never cared for her. And if she tried to change him, if she dared to believe that there was a future with him, she would be made out to be a fool.
How could I be so blind?
Violet turned and skulked back down the hall.
She considered telling Rhys the truth, but she resisted that urge.
And it was not done out of pettiness or spite.
Rather, it was done because of Lucy. The girl deserved a father who loved her…
a father who was capable of such a thing.
That man was not Rhys, nor would it ever be.
A shame too, because for a moment there, Violet had dared to trust again… a mistake that she would not make a second time.