Chapter 16
Being pressed up against the Issaraeth was torture. Not because he was cruel. Not because his strength made desire flutter low in my belly. No, it was because his magic cradled my leg with such careful tenderness it made it hard to hate him.
Thinking beyond the agony in my body was difficult anyway. And the anguish in my soul?
That was an entirely different story.
Now that our connection was sealed, would I become just like him? Would I lose all sense of who I was? The visions I’d had of him, of our future, had always ended in me becoming everything I feared.
For the tenth time since we began our trek back to the tree, I checked my mental barrier. The barricade of ice fractured and melted. I didn’t want him in my head. Digging through my thoughts. Feeling everything I did not choose to share.
But the cracks leaked my pain. I couldn’t fill them, not now, not with how excruciating each step was.
Fuck him for putting those bronze cuffs on me. My power was nothing more than a flicker in my chest, especially since I’d used what little I had retained to call on my wings and launch myself into the air.
Which meant my internal healing abilities were struggling too.
The rain finally relented, dissipating to a light drizzle. Through the fog, the massive tree appeared, canvas swaying like a banner in the breeze.
Between being soaked to my marrow and injured, I should have been a shivering mess. But the Issaraeth radiated heat. And anger.
I cracked an eye and peeked up at him. His jaw was still set in that hard way, his gaze fixed straight forward. Above us, Ilae flew like a silent guard.
My captor was on edge. Fuck, I was too. But that sharpness came from very different causes.
So what if the Issaraeth was upset that I didn’t want to be mated to him? He didn’t deserve love. Not with how much he had destroyed. He was a villain of the worst kind.
More ivory power poured from him as we approached the steps leading into the carved space in the tree. Each silky strand wrapped around me, drawing pebbles to my skin. I hated that the contact with the Issaraeth’s magic made me feel this way.
Once we were inside, he secured the canvas behind us.
“You can put me down now,” I snapped. “I’d rather hop than allow you to hold me any longer.” I had to get away from this male. My fucking fated mate.
He ignored my request entirely. “I need to grab the healing potions.”
Tendrils of ethereal light slid across the age rings and disappeared inside his bag. When they emerged, finger-like strands were curled around an array of vials.
His mastery was, unfortunately, impressive.
“We’ll start with the poppy.” The velvet of his voice had returned after the raspiness of his post-Command. Magic flicked off the cork of a vial and brought it to my lips.
I turned my face to the side. A growl vibrated against my broken ribs, and I gritted my teeth around the ache. “I’m not taking that.”
“Quit being so stubborn, little fugitive.” The words came out more like an order, one that the Issaraeth expected me to follow.
Little did he know that defiance was my nature. After all, I was Elessarum.
“You cannot force me,” I shot back. Besides, who knew what was in it? None of those vials bore markings. Anything could be inside. He could force me to See and I wouldn’t know until the black closed in and my spine snapped straight. I no longer had the bronze to keep them at bay.
And I’d need to surreptitiously chew leaves from the vials stuck between my breasts.
A scoff slipped out of him, and his arms tightened over me. “Do you forget who I am?”
Ice slithered down my spine as all the air was sucked from the space around us.
“No, wait–”
But my protest died on my lips as the Issaraeth issued another Command. “OPEN.”
The muscles in my jaw trembled as I fought the magic, burning like he had stuck his dagger into a fire and pressed the red-hot metal to the sides of my face.
But resistance was futile when he wielded the power with merciless precision.
With a cry, my mouth cracked wide. The vial tipped forward and poured the contents down my throat.
“SWALLOW.”
I did, against my will. Hating him the entire time. Hot salt clawed down my cheeks.
His expression didn’t alter. That stoic mask remained firmly in place. In fact, he regarded me like I was nothing more than a minor nuisance.
So this was how it was going to be? He was going to use his Command on me if I didn’t obey?
Helplessness swelled inside me. My body was no longer mine. His power was so strong, there was nothing I could do.
The tide of grief swept away, and I lifted my free arm and wiped my tears. “Goddess forsake you, Issaraeth. She cursed me from the moment I was born. First with Sight and then you. I will spend the rest of my days making your life as miserable as possible.”
Rage flared in his icy irises. White swirled into a tempest around us, wrapping me in a blinding snare of magic. His power held me suspended in the air before him as he leaned in, his face so dangerously close to mine.
Lips curled back from his teeth. He held my gaze, and my heart ceased beating from the stormy abhorrence etched into his expression. “You can try. But it is impossible for me to be any more miserable than I currently am. Perhaps the Goddess cursed me too.”
And with that biting remark, he spun on his heel. The canvas slapped back as he exited the tree. His magic disappeared from around me, and I let out a scream, bracing for the impending agony as I slammed into the hard ground.
Yet no pain flared with the movement—only an eerie numbness.
I crawled toward the pack resting at the head of his bedroll, reaching.
“What did you give me? It wasn’t just poppy,” I called after him, my voice small and weak.
A heaviness weighed down my eyes. The tree’s hollowed-out trunk blurred around me.
No response came.
I opened my mouth to say something—maybe that I hated him?—I wasn’t sure. The red wood spun around me, and I let my eyes remain shut, hoping that would stabilize my world.
Because I was caught in a blizzard, cold and disoriented. There was no visible path before me. I almost wished that when I fell asleep, I’d never wake again.
That deep, building defiance that had begun once I was separated from Heraphia and Zuriel refused to be silenced. It whispered to me, even as I drifted, that more was coming, if only I would let it rise.
And I knew nothing would ever be the same again when I next woke.