Chapter 3 #2
He gave me a slight smile. “And yet we are issuing him an invitation along with anyone else with the position and following to protect you against the evils in the world. You will choose the finalists, Katriana, but you yourself mentioned the lion. It is done.”
I crinkled up my face, held my breath and then released and shrugged.
“He’ll say no. It’ll be an embarrassing rejection, but I won’t need to know about it.
I’ll just post pictures of my kittens. I’ll go make a long list of all the possibilities.
On both sides of the spectrum,” I added quickly, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
It wasn’t his fault he was a dragon/vampire.
And he was always in control of his instincts.
“One thing.” The scholar gestured and the door opened. Mitt, the werewolf was standing outside, looking like he was about to sneeze. “Mitt and Mini will walk you to your room. If you need to leave your room, they will escort you wherever you need to go.”
Mini flashed a grin at me from the shadows where she stood behind Mitt.
“Oh. I…” I looked at Herald who was watching this entire play with a studied indifference that meant he was devouring every word, every look, every hint of feeling. “Perfect! I’ll never be lonely. Herald.” I curtsied to him and then went with Mini and Mitt towards my room.
“I’m not a bodyguard,” Mitt growled as soon as the door closed.
“Who’s the most popular and attractive werewolf?
” I asked, ignoring the not-a-bodyguard thing.
He’d been in armed forces for a hundred years or something, and no one in the laboratory messed with him.
Why Mini was there was more of a puzzle, except that she’d probably see something coming before anyone else.
She was a goblin, so assassination was in her blood. She was so small, though.
Mitt shot me a look. “What?”
“Like if you had a sister, who would she be super excited to watch on a reality tv show? Also, it wouldn’t hurt if he sang.”
“Werewolves don’t sing,” he said quickly, then glanced around like the Music Master was in hearing distance. Mitt himself sang, so he was just being modest.
“Hughenot Raferty the body image guru,” Mini said with a gleam of her golden eyes. “And he sings.”
Mitt shot her a look. “What do you know about that pretentious cur?”
“Everyone knows about that pretentious cur. He’s gorgeous, he’s flirty, and he’s okay humiliating himself for the sake of his viewers.”
I beamed at her. “He sounds perfect! What about goblins? Who’s the goblin you’d be most excited to see on reality tv?”
She wrinkled her nose. “No self-respecting goblin would put a target on himself like that. No, who you need is Banus Jones.”
“The politician?” Mitt asked. “Why would you want to see him on reality tv? Although I suppose politics and the media circus are strikingly similar.”
“He’s part incubus. Anything he says, the ladies will buy.”
Mitt snorted. “If you’re going for diabolical, let’s throw the devil into the ring.”
“The Devil of Wonderland? He’s slick,” Mini said, nodding. “And he’s a local, so it would be good Song representation.”
“But is he handsome?” I asked then remembered the few glimpses I’d gotten of him riding around town on his mech spiders. Mesmerizing. Dangerous. Also not remotely interesting to me personally, so he’d be perfect.
Mini nodded. “He’s a devil. Of course he’s handsome, but he’s also unfathomably rich, which is its own attraction.”
“Nice! And then I’ll have three on the heavenly spectrum.
Monterose Fellicci, of course, and then the angel…
” Did I have to invite the angel? It was already done.
Not that he’d agree to come. Good. Then I’d get two other heavenly options that I might actually like.
I had no intention of actually marrying anyone at the end of this, but dating would be fun.
“Gargoyles wouldn’t ever be on a reality tv show,” Mini said, pursing her lips.
“Too bad. That would get the viewers more than anything. Other than Winston the Warlock. Too bad he’s already married to Stripes.
Still shocked about that. You should probably get an elf if you want someone who sings.
It’ll be difficult to find anyone willing to be humiliated, but maybe a half-elf… ”
I beamed at her and then I was at my room. “Thanks for the ideas. You’re the best. I guess you guys have to stand outside my room?”
Mitt shrugged. “I’m not a bodyguard.” Like that was an answer.
“It’s no problem,” Mini said, glancing at Mitt like she was searching for signs of his jealousy, that she could mention other men being attractive. He slouched against the wall and pulled out a book.
I gave them both a smile and went inside to be attacked by the three kittens waiting in the shadows.
I laughed and caught them up, happily balancing them on my shoulders and head while I went to my cute little kitchen.
I’d painted everything to be like a forest, with tree trunks, leaves, and mushroom knobs on my cabinets.
I put my strawberry shaped tea pot on the stove then fed the kittens.
After they were fed and content, and my tea was done, I settled into my comfiest chair and pulled out my phone with my honey-sweetened tea at my elbow.
All the messages were still a shock. I couldn’t quite look at them, so I just opened the thread from SunRae.
Congratulations on the fame! I knew you’d break through some day!
I hurriedly texted back.
I’m actually going to be on a dating show.
That is, a dating to marriage show. Of course I can decide not to marry anyone, but for the sake of the show, I have to look committed.
It’s exciting to think about actually dating, but marriage?
Anyway, I need to think of at least three males on the sunny side of the spectrum who might actually consider being on a reality TV show.
It took three minutes to get a response.
Monterose of course! What about an elf? You need people who can duet with you! Also, after assassination attempts, maybe you should think about magic users who have a lot of protective magic.
I frowned at that last line message before I typed. You don’t think being on a wedding reality show is insane?
When life gives you assassins, better make lemonade! I mean, better get aide. Although a lemonade themed picnic would be so cute! With lemon tarts, and pretty pitchers! With a white picnic cloth that’s completely impractical, but who cares because of the vibe!
I laughed and felt better. SunRae always made me feel better. And a cake competition! With adorable mini cakes! It’s going to be epic! I wish you could be there. Maybe you can be part of the catering.
I make cakes for animals, not people. Although for you, I’d make an exception. But not on tv. Can you imagine? I get queasy thinking about it.
I sighed. I also got queasy thinking about it. But I’d just focus on the cute vibe and how to extricate myself from the Vampire King without involving any I do’s.