Chapter 51
fifty-one
Jeremy
Smells good.” I drop my bag on the floor and head toward the kitchen. The second I reach the kitchen, the delicious smell surrounds me, but so does the heat. I unzip my jacket and throw it onto the barstool.
I’m excited for tonight. If there’s anything to look forward to after a long, grueling PT session, it’s a meal made by Brinley. More importantly, it’s a meal made by Brinley shared with some of the people I love most in this world.
“Thanks.” Brinley glances over her shoulder. “I’ve been at it for hours, so hopefully it tastes as good as it smells.”
“Do you need help with anything?”
“I think Declan is going to be home in a bit, and he needs to run to the store after he gets home. If you could go with him and make sure he stays on track and doesn’t forget anything on the list, that would be great.”
“You got it, Brin.” I walk into the kitchen and squeeze her shoulder before getting a bottle of water from the fridge. “I know your brother easily gets off task when you send him to the store.”
“Oh, you mean two years ago when I sent him to the store for three things, and he came back $150 later and forgot one of the three items on the list.”
“At least it wasn’t the whole list.” I shrug.
“It was the turkey, Jere.” She shakes her head. “We had a sides-only Friendsgiving that year.”
“Oh wow. I forgot about that. Well, let’s say your sides made the lack of a turkey unnoticeable. Plus, it made for a good laugh.”
“Yeah, I guess it did.” Brinley smiles, but unlike the many smiles I’ve seen before, this one doesn’t reach her eyes.
There’s this mystery behind them… a sadness.
She flips on the oven light and peeks in the oven through the glass.
“Everything is coming along nicely.”
“What time are we eating?” I ask.
“Oh, uh, I told Declan everything should be ready around 5:15, and to take the turkey out at 4:45 and let it rest and—”
“Why would Declan need to take the turkey out?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“I, uh, I won’t be there tonight.”
“What?” My jaw drops, I take a step toward her, but she pulls herself up onto the empty counter, wrapping her arms around her body.
“Yeah, it just didn’t seem like a good idea.”
“Brin.”
“You don’t have to say anything—”
“I understand things with you and Jax have been complicated.” Her face twists when I say his name. “But you guys are two of our closest friends. Fuck, he’s your brother’s best friend. I don’t know what happened, but I don’t want it to tear us apart.”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” she repeats. “After what happened on Halloween—”
I take a large step toward her, “What happened on Halloween?”
There’s a pleading in her eyes, one that I can’t read. One that I don’t understand. She picks at the long sleeve on her sweater.
“I, um,” she sniffles, quickly wipes her nose, and jumps off the counter. She adjusts her sweater, tugging at the hem and the sleeves, before meeting my eyes again.
The look in her eyes is gone, as if it was just forced away, and a fake smile has taken its place.
“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done, right?” She forces a laugh. “Alex is going home tomorrow, so we wanted to spend it together anyway.”
“He can come here.”
“No, he can’t.” She shakes her head. “He shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. Maybe Christmas.”
“Brin.”
“I know you mean well, Jere, and maybe someday,” she bites her lip and looks down at her feet, as if she’s trying to hold in her tears, “maybe someday things will be different.”
“I hope so.”
“Now, if you’re here, you might as well mash these potatoes.” She shakes off whatever she was feeling, and suddenly we’re back to Brin. Fun, carefree, open Brin. “You’ll need to drain them first. Strainers in the sink.”
She points to the sink and gets back to her sweet potatoes.
I don’t question anything. I don’t push for information. I know if she wanted to tell me, she would. But she’s not ready, so I’ll just sit and wait, and hope that one day she’s ready. And when she is—
I’ll be ready to listen.
Ididn’t need a babysitter.” Declan puts the last grocery bag into the trunk of his car.
“Your sister begs to differ.”
“It was one time.”
“I said nothing, but you knew exactly why she sent me, so I think that says everything it needs to say.”
“I personally think it was our best Friendsgiving.”
“Maybe.” I chuckle. “I know this one won’t be.”
“She told you?”
“Yeah. When did she tell you?”
“She didn’t.” He shuts the trunk and leans against the car. “She told Ember and Tate the other day. Ember told me the other night when she stayed over.”
“Did you talk to her?”
“I tried to,” Declan sighs. “I think the whole divorce and selling of the house has been harder on her than she cares to admit. We aren’t even going home for Thanksgiving. Our mom is driving up on Thursday, and we’re going to go see a movie.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine. Brin has dealt with many changes over the past year. I wish she knew she could talk to us.”
“You mean how you talked to us?”
“Touche.”
I was bad about opening up in the beginning. I guess in some ways I still am. They went through this with me, though, so I guess in some way, I feel as though they’re grieving too.
We’ve all been through stuff.
Sure, I lost hockey this year, but Zeke lost his mom. Declan and Brinley watched their parents split up and go through a nasty and unnecessary divorce battle in court. Ember has been getting shut down for internship after internship because of a past that never should’ve come back to haunt her.
Avalon watched her mom leave for rehab… again.
Tate and Fletcher watched the life they thought they could have crumble before their eyes.
We’ve all been through shit this year. I guess it didn’t feel right to drop my baggage on them.
“Tristyn seems to have helped a lot in that department, though.”
“She has,” I whisper.
“Any updates on your case?”
I shake my head.
“And honestly, I’m okay with that. I just want to move on with my life. I called that officer in charge of my case the other day and said I was ready to move on.”
“What did he say?”
“I think he was relieved. They had no real direction to take this case, so.”
“And if you remember something?”
“It’s been months. If I were going to remember something, surely it would’ve happened by now.”
Declan pushes off the car and pats my shoulder.
“I guess in some weird way, you finally got your closure.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
He gives me a soft smile and walks around the car to the driver’s side door. I stand against the trunk a moment longer, taking in my surroundings, watching car after car park for their last-minute Thanksgiving ingredients.
And then I see it.
A truck.
A truck with a ridiculous bumper sticker that I can’t help but laugh at.
And then I see it.
A truck.
The taillights of a truck were fading ever so slightly, revealing a bumper sticker I had never remembered seeing. I blink, the image disappearing for just a moment, and then returning. The bright lights that blinded me on the road that night as I hit my brakes and flew off the side of the road.
But suddenly that night is clear. Clear in a way I never thought possible.
“Oh, my god.”
I know who ran me off the road.
Tonight isn’t about me.
Enough of the last several months have been about my accident, and I don’t want tonight to be about that, too. I was ready to move on, and I still am, but now I might get that last piece of closure I thought I was okay without.
“You okay?” Tristyn places a hand on my shoulder, and I smile up at her.
“You and Henry are here. I’m great.”
I squeeze her knee under the table.
“We’re going to need a bigger table.” Zeke throws an arm over the back of Avalon’s chair.
He’s not wrong. It was honestly a tight squeeze when we did Friendsgiving together last year, and we only added Ember and Maia. Now we have three more people at the table with us—
Tristyn, Henry, and Avalon.
I guess four if you count Brooks actually being at Friendsgiving this year.
“Yeah, our little Friendsgiving just keeps growing.” Declan kisses the side of Ember’s head.
“It feels weird having Friendsgiving without Brin.” Ember looks around the table. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you all, but—”
“It’s not the same.” Tate sighs.
“Did you guys feel that way last year when I couldn’t come?” Brooks asks, and we all look around.
“No, not really.” We joke.
“Fuck you guys.”
“Hey, that’s not appropriate Friendsgiving talk.” I cross my arms. “We’ve got a kid at the table.”
“Maybe we would’ve missed you more if you didn’t miss because your girlfriend gave you an ultimatum,” Jaxon adds.
“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be?”
“Yup.” Jax chuckles.
“We’re happy to have you with us this year.” Fletcher reaches across the table and fist bumps Brooks. “Hopefully, next year, the whole crew will be here.”
“Hopefully,” Tate whispers. “I guess I’m just happy she’s getting to spend it with Alex.”
Jax shifts uncomfortably in his seat, sniffling as he gently tugs on his nose.
“Wait, how is Brin being with Alex any different than me being with Liv last year?” Brooks questions.
The table goes silent.
We all know the reason she isn’t here; he’s sitting across from me.
It’s not his fault either. I guess in some way it is, but he didn’t do what he did on purpose. Truthfully, I think Jax tried so hard to convince all of us he didn’t care about Brinley that way, he started to make her think he didn’t care at all.
None of us could’ve expected we’d get here.
“Never mind.” Brooks’ eyes land on Jax for a quick moment, and then he turns his attention back to the food.
“Maybe we should say what we’re thankful for?” Avalon breaks through the tension. “That’s what people usually do, right?”
“We did it last year,” Maia adds. “Who should start?”
Eyes dart around the table, no one stepping up to start the thankful train. After what happened this year, I have a lot to be thankful for, so it only makes sense—
“I’ll go first.”