Chapter 52
fifty-two
Tristyn
Ican’t remember a time when I felt this at peace during a holiday. Henry is sleeping in the living room after eating too much turkey and pumpkin pie, and Jeremy is standing next to me, drying the dishes as I wash.
I could get used to this.
Having a life. A family. Having it all with Jeremy.
I know he’s not Henry’s dad, but to the outside world, you wouldn’t know that.
He loves Henry in a way even Henry’s dad doesn’t love him.
He loves him as if he were his own flesh and blood.
And he loves me. Jeremy loves me in a way I don’t know that I deserve.
So much about the life we’re creating together is perfect, but the constant pinging on my phone reminds me of that part of all of this that is far from perfect.
Andrew.
The man dedicated to making my life miserable. The man ready to break apart the one good thing that has happened in my life since having Henry.
But I pushed. I pushed, and this is him pushing back.
“Does your baby daddy only send one word per message?” Jeremy asks, with a silent laugh. “Or does he just think you enjoy the sound your phone makes when you get a new message?”
“I don’t think he cares about what I enjoy.” I scrub the dish so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t split in half. “I think he only cares about getting what he wants.”
I hand him the last dish, and he turns toward me as he dries it.
“Is he getting Henry tonight? Or do we need to drop him off over there?”
“We won’t be doing anything. I love you, I do, but he will blow your head off if you come with me to drop Henry off. I mean, Vince came with me one time to drop Henry off a while ago, and he threw Vince up against the car and told him to keep his fucking hands off me.”
“In front of Henry?”
I nod.
The craziest thing about that day is that Andrew knew Vince. When Andrew and I first got together, we would all hang out, but he’s so obsessed with himself and what’s going on in his life that he didn’t even remember Vince.
I also don’t think it’s the right time to mention the fact that it wasn’t the first time. Sure, Jeremy knows that my ex wasn’t the nicest person in the world, but I failed to share with him that Andrew liked having an audience, no matter who it was.
“He does know Vince is gay, right?”
I laugh, and suddenly the gloomy cloud that was filling the kitchen evaporates.
“Again, I don’t think he cares. He just likes being in control.”
“He doesn’t always have to win.”
Jeremy’s hands find their way to my hips, and he squeezes them gently before pulling my body flush against his. His lips brush over mine, soft and slow.
“I’m coming with you to drop Henry off.” Another kiss. “End of discussion. I would like to see him try to throw me up against a car. I don’t think it would end how he wants it to.”
“That’s a big threat coming from a man who had back surgery not that long ago.”
A man who is still using crutches to get around 80% of the time, so he doesn’t make it worse.
“It just means I’m invincible because my whole back is now basically a bunch of metal melded together.”
This time, it’s Jeremy who laughs. This is not the same man I sat next to at the hospital.
And he’s even further from the man I held in the shower that night.
That man was bitter. Hurt that he could no longer do the thing he had trained his whole life to do.
The man in front of me now just seems happy to be alive.
“I’m coming,” he repeats, like there’s a chance I didn’t catch it the first time.
“Okay.”
My voice is soft as his hands reach up to my chin to tilt my face up toward him. And when I look into his eyes, I see them soften in a way that I’ve only witnessed when he talks to Henry.
“I love you. And I want you to know that, really know that. I’m not going anywhere, so your ex might as well meet me now because you and Henry,” he brushes my hair out of my face, “you’re it for me.”
My heart sinks into my stomach before his warm mouth swallows mine once again. It’s not as hungry as our first kiss, or as passionate as some of our other kisses, but this one is different. It’s special. Because the moment is special.
“Go sit down, I’m gonna get you some tea.”
He presses one more kiss on my mouth before smacking my ass and grabbing a mug from the cabinet.
I take his orders to heart and curl up in one of the three chairs in my dining room and wait for him to join me.
Once he finally does, we sit in silence with a mug of tea for me and coffee for him. Admiring each other.
“So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”
There is a shift in his tone, and suddenly I can’t get a read on the man. How he went from the man in the kitchen to this one in a matter of minutes is beyond me. He doesn’t sound angry, but serious, and that worries me more than anger.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes. No. I mean, hopefully. I think so.”
“You sound awfully sure of yourself.”
He smiles.
“When I went to the store with Declan a couple of days ago, we were talking in the parking lot, and before we left, I remembered something.”
I hold my mug up to my lips and raise an eyebrow.
“Remember what?”
“The night of the accident.”
I almost drop my mug. I shakily lower it back to the table and tuck my hands under my legs, hoping Jeremy doesn’t notice them.
“Really? What do you remember?”
“It was weird. A truck drove by, and I thought nothing of it. I just saw their bumper sticker and laughed, and then suddenly these memories were rushing in.”
“Memories?”
“I would have dreams of this bright light. It was the last thing I remembered, and when I told the cops about the bright light being the last thing I saw before the accident, we just assumed the car was driving straight at me.”
“Okay.”
“But I realized I was behind the car. The car cut me off, and I swerved off the road because of it.” He shakes his head. “The actual details are still foggy, but when I saw that car at the grocery store, I realized the light that blinded me wasn’t the headlights. It was on the hood of the truck.”
I think I’m going to be sick. How do I excuse myself from this conversation?
“You’re losing me.” I choke out.
“The car that cut me off had a bumper sticker.” He reaches across the table, and instinctively, I place my hands into his. “One that had been scratched off, at least as much as possible, and the other one was a Ridgeview school bumper sticker.”
I freeze. Henry’s school sticker. The one Andrew insisted we both get. The one Jeremy has probably seen on my bumper a million times. He saw it before the accident.
“So, what are you saying?” My voice comes out hoarser than I mean it to.
“I know who ran me off the road.”
His voice trails off as my heart pounds in my chest. It’s like I can’t breathe. I hope my gasping for air isn’t as obvious to him as it seems to me. I can barely get the words out as I look at him. It’s almost like he’s on another planet, like he can see through me.
What was that just now in the kitchen if he’s gonna do this to me now?
“Who?” My voice is barely a whisper, and I don’t even know if I’ve actually asked him the question or if the word is just floating around my brain. I try to meet his eyes, but they seem distant as he says—
“You.”