Chapter 45
I meet Jude at the Hanohano tiki bar on the fifth floor.
I’ve never been to a tiki bar before. It’s a delight.
From a look around the room I see that this is where Hawaiian shirts retire and live their best lives.
It’s a warmly lit space with myriad carved wooden tiki statues, LED torches, artificial palm trees and thin flower garlands draped from the ceiling.
A woman greets me with an ‘Aloha’, placing a brightly coloured lei around my neck.
I spot Jude at a table near the back of the room.
Like every other man here, he’s also wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
There are staff wearing grass skirts and dancing the hula kahiko.
As usual, I feel underdressed in my black wide-legged trousers and vest top.
I didn’t know this was a fun bar. I might have joined in.
I could rock a hula skirt if I wanted to.
Jude eagerly waves me over. ‘Glad you could make it. Let me get you a drink. What would you like?’
‘Whatever you’re having,’ I say, trying to balance on a bamboo stool.
It’s a challenge. I give it three drinks before I topple off and the date ends.
It’s been months since I’ve been on a proper date and I’m relatively relaxed.
In my thirties I might have had a pre-game gin or two, babbled a bit when we met and spent far too long surreptitiously checking my teeth for lipstick when he wasn’t looking.
My forties? Not so much. I tell myself that either of us could have said no, it’s not that big of a deal, and turn up to the date expecting very little.
He returns with a red and white drink in a large glass. ‘It’s a Lava Flow,’ he says, placing it in front me. ‘It’s like a strawberry pina colada. Really good.’
He’s right. It’s delicious.
‘Been watching any good shows recently? What kind of shows are you into?’ he asks. I can’t tell if he’s nervous or just interested in my TV habits.
‘I watch all kinds,’ I reply. ‘I’m watching The Boys at the moment. Slow Horses is brilliant too. What about—’
‘Loki. It’s fucking awesome. You seen it?’
‘I haven’t,’ I reply.
‘It’s Marvel,’ he continues. ‘It’s set after Avengers: Endgame. Did you see that?’
‘Superhero films aren’t—’
‘He has to fix the timeline, or he’ll be erased.’
‘Wow,’ I reply. ‘Maybe I’ll give it a go.’
I won’t. I’d rather never watch television again. It’s not an age thing, I’m just not into fantasy or science fiction. I don’t even like Stranger Things but I’m keeping that to myself. I don’t need a Ted Talk on the history of the Upside Down.
Thankfully he loosens up as the night goes on. He’s rather charming and his body language indicates that he might feel the same about me.
Three drinks in, I spot the same group of people from the pool standing by the bar. They seem very interested in what we’re up to. ‘Are those your friends?’ I ask. ‘At the bar.’
He turns and gives them a quick wave. ‘They are. That’s Andrew and his girlfriend Bianca, Dominic and his wife Margot.’
Andrew looks much older than Bianca. She’s hanging off him like a tipsy koala while he looks our way.
‘I think I shared a lift with Dominic and Margot,’ I tell him. ‘They seemed . . . happy.’
‘Yeah, they love to cruise. They actually met Andrew and Bianca on a Caribbean cruise last year. Very like-minded, if you know what I mean.’
‘Yeah,’ I reply. I have no idea what he means.
‘Actually, it was Bianca who spotted you first. I’m glad she did. She’d really like to meet you. They all would.’
There’s a look in his eyes that tells me he doesn’t mean for polite conversation.
He leans in. ‘I’m sure we could all have a lot of fun.’
I pull back slightly, not sure how to react. And that’s when I notice it. I start to laugh.
He joins in with my laughter for a second, then realises that he has no idea why I’m laughing. ‘What is it?’ he asks as I continue cackling.
‘Your shirt,’ I reply, my finger placed under my lashes in a desperate attempt to stop my mascara running. ‘Nice pineapples.’
To: Alex Steward
RE: Hello!
Hi,
Eight months? I’ve only been doing it for three. There’s no way I’m lasting another five months, let alone twelve.
Yes, Ellis is a brilliant guy but you’re right, there’s no point pursuing anyone unavailable. I probably did enough of that in my twenties.
I said yes to ziplining today. It was scary as shit and I’m never being more than six feet above ground ever again, which doesn’t bode well for my flight home. They may have to sedate me.
In other news, I met someone. Good-looking, fit (you may see abs every day.
I do not) and about three hundred years younger than me.
Anyway, I agreed to have drinks with him, and it turns out that he wanted me to join in some sort of weird group sex party with his friends.
I did not want that. I just want someone to be silly with, not a memory that will haunt me every night for the rest of my life.
Next time you’re single we should absolutely start dating.
I accept all phone brands and make excellent poached eggs.
I’m glad you find my trauma funny. Despite your disclaimer, I still blame you.
Sophie