Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
Brooke
The sun had only shone long enough this morning to seemingly wave goodbye as they boarded the ferry and left KI behind. By the time they arrived on the shore of Cape Jervis, the sky was dark and low as JJ drove them home.
Brooke sunk further into her seat and toyed with her seatbelt. Every sentence or thought stuttered and died on her lips, at a loss with where to start a conversation let alone talk about what she really wanted to: them.
Last night was the end of their fling, yet the urge to reach over and grab JJ’s hand was so strong, Brooke’s fingers tingled as if they were magnets trying to draw JJ in.
The defiance in Brooke wanted to scream to hell with the rules and grab her hand anyway. She wanted JJ’s touch and the comfort it brought. It hurt to know that was going away. She wasn’t ready to let go… and that… well, she didn’t know what to do with that information.
Brooke twisted her bracelets around her wrist. Her chest grew tight with every kilometre they got closer to home.
Home.
She couldn’t avoid it any longer. This was Brooke’s real test, after all they’d talked about with Hayley, her job and facing everything she’d left behind. It was time, and Brooke had to do this herself.
JJ pulled up to Hayley and Marie’s house.
They both sat unmoving, Brooke’s hand on the door. “Well.” She stopped, smile pulled tight. “Thanks for everything.”
JJ rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah. Cool. Thank you for everything.” She swallowed. “You were the one who made it happen. Can’t believe we’re back already.”
Brooke glanced at the house and squeezed the door handle. “I guess I better—”
“Yep.” JJ turned the car off and launched out of her seat like she’d been bitten.
Brooke frowned, then the back door opened.
JJ grabbed Brooke’s bag and looked around the back seat. “Anything else?”
“That’s it. Thanks.”
Brooke got out of the car as JJ walked around and held out the bag. Brooke took it but set it next to her on the grass by the kerb.
“So.” God, this was awkward. “I guess that’s it for our holiday fling. That was… fun.” Her cheeks flamed. It was so much more than fun.
“Yeah.” JJ rubbed her neck again and avoided Brooke’s eyes. “Not forgetting that any time soon.”
Their eyes met.
“Me either,” Brooke whispered.
There was so much to say, and—fuck.
But even if she did, what was the point?
JJ had been clear from the start what this was. What Brooke wasn’t.
Brooke needed to let this go. Let JJ go.
Brooke’s throat felt tight. Goodbyes were a non-event for her, an absolute whatever. What was happening? She blinked. She couldn’t stop blinking, and she swallowed trying to ease the ache that had started in her chest.
“I better get inside, check my sister hasn’t kicked me out for being an absolute terror.” Brooke tried to laugh, but her eyes started to water, so she dove forward onto JJ for a hug instead. Anything to get out of this situation and give her a minute to ease the pressure.
Brooke was so wrapped up in getting inside, she forgot she was hugging JJ.
That this was their goodbye. She scrunched JJ’s hoodie in her hands and squeezed, inhaling—in a subtle, non-creepy way—as deep as she could.
It was like she could still smell the eucalyptus and the smoke from their fire.
The memories of their trip flashed past. JJ sunk into the embrace.
Brooke may not have the words, but she put everything into the hold.
How could she go back to friends after this? When would she even see JJ next?
They pulled apart and Brooke pressed her lips to JJ’s cheek. She lingered for just a moment.
“Bye JJ. Don’t go breaking too many hearts.”
Brooke aimed for a smirk, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her hand slipped from JJ’s arm then she bent down, swung her bag over her shoulder, and walked inside.
She didn’t dare look back.
The door clicked shut behind her, and just like that, Brooke was alone again.
She stood. Silence.
At least she had the house to herself—she had work to do. No more mopey Brooke, time to take charge. Like you did last night, her brain helpfully supplied.
She headed upstairs. Someone had cleaned her room. Her bed was washed and made, everything put away or tidied up, the window left open to let in the fresh breeze. Hayley was still looking after her, acting like a parent, even after she’d pushed her away.
She grabbed her laptop, flipping it open on the bed.
So many emails.
Junk. Spam. Flight specials. Newsletters from travel bloggers and friends.
Two emails from the airport job application.
One with an offer for an interview the day after she’d left, and another from this morning. We’re sorry to inform you, as we’ve had no response, your job application has been withdrawn.
Well, fuck.
She’d forgotten about those missed calls, the notifications. She figured she’d sort it when she was back. Not a great start so far…
She had no updates from the hostel job since her interview, but had a feeling they were looking for someone younger, read: cheaper. Which left the night pick packing position. Still no word.
Take her back on the road already, this was hard.
Her fingers itched to grab her phone and shoot off a quick text to JJ about it. But that would be weird; they’d only said goodbye fifteen minutes ago.
And now their rulebook was closed. Finished.
Her insides still hurt like she was back on the ferry, churning and swirling—kind of how she assumed a break-up would feel.
She’d never been so close to anyone before.
Physically, yes. Emotionally… no. These newfound emotions hurt, harder to tamp down or forget about.
They stayed with you like a constant reminder: Oh hey, JJ is on your mind again!
Yep, still thinking about JJ. Look outside, that cloud? Looks like JJ, hey?
She growled, head flopping back onto the pillow.
The rules, the fling—it had all sounded so simple, easy and fun. Now it felt like she was in a nightmare.
Brooke spent the next few hours sorting out her inbox, looking into new job potentials and following up on the pick packing job. When her stomach grumbled, she headed downstairs to make a sandwich and found Hayley in the kitchen putting groceries away.
This was it.
“Hi,” she said.
Progress.
Hayley’s head snapped up from her current shopping bag. “Oh hey, you’re back. How was the trip?”
Brooke stopped at the kitchen island and gripped the end of the benchtop. “It was good. JJ enjoyed it, which was the main thing.”
Look at her go, two full sentences. Hayley topped up the fruit bowl with bananas and apples, moving to the fridge next to put the milk away.
“Thanks for cleaning my room. It was nice to come back to.”
Hayley faltered halfway to the kitchen cupboard, a tin of beans held in midair for a split second, before she put it away and regarded Brooke. “You’re welcome.”
The response was cautious, which was unsurprising with how they’d left things.
They were still stepping on eggshells.
Brooke moved around the island to one of the other bags, taking out a few packets and putting them away. Brooke caught Hayley’s glances as they moved about, but she remained quiet.
“Thanks,” Hayley said once they’d finished, a small smile forming on her lips.
Brooke felt her mouth curve up just a touch in response. JJ was right, Brooke could do this.
“Did you hear back from any jobs?” Hayley asked as she folded the grocery bags and put them away.
Brooke felt the spotlight open back up overhead.
“I missed out on a couple.” Brooke kept her gaze on the kitchen sink. When she looked back up, Hayley’s frown had returned.
“Did you check up on anything while you were away?”
And here Brooke was, straight back into the firing line. Couldn’t she just have five damn minutes?
“No, I was… working.” While technically true, they both knew it was a lie. Heat bloomed its way up her chest until her ears burned.
Hayley’s hand was on her hip. Exactly like their mum would do when she was disappointed in Brooke. When she’d failed.
“Bee…”
“I’m—I’ve…” What was the point in explaining herself? Why had she even bothered to come back here? “I gotta go.”
Brooke was out the door and down the street, back to the reeds, to her spot.
One. Two. Three—Four.
She flopped down onto the rock and flung a pebble across the water.
How was she here again already?
She snapped a twig in two and huffed.
The water trickled along the river. She closed her eyes, focusing on the sound.
Brooke couldn't keep doing this. Running wasn't getting her anywhere. She inhaled deep. Thoughts settling with the river.
It hadn't all been bad. Chatting to Hayley and doing the groceries together was nice—normal even.
Until Brooke froze. Again. Tongue-tied and unable to explain herself. If she could just spit out her words…
Craft them in a way that—
JJ’s letter idea!
Duh, Brooke!
How had she forgotten?
Brooke pulled out her phone to write down her scrambled thoughts, but a new email notification popped up on the screen.
The pick packing job.
It was an offer to proceed, complete with working hours and a start date. Brooke read through their terms. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a job. And she’d be earning money again. If only that news had come through twenty minutes earlier, she could’ve had a very different conversation with Hayley.
She opened her notes app again, the cursor blinking. Waiting.
Brooke stared at the water. The app. The trees.
The same blinking cursor.
She squeezed her phone, willing it to tell her what to write. Instead it just brought up the emergency call button.
She swiped it away, back to the blank page.
Taunting her just like her mind when she stood in front of her sister.
Argh. It felt so much easier when she’d spoken to JJ about it in the hot tub.
The pain was back in her chest. Okay, it did not help to start thinking about JJ again.
These scribbles didn’t need to be perfect, they were just for her.
Just write.
Brooke’s fingers flew across the screen, feelings pouring into the note.
An hour later, her phone was filled with half thoughts and fragmented sentences. Memories. Emotions. Anything on her mind, she typed.
At least she had something. The beginnings of a plan.
It would do for now.
Weirdly, just writing it down had made her feel better. Lighter. The tension loosened, not just between her shoulders, but deeper. A shift in her core.
While Brooke couldn’t take back the fact she’d run away again, she could get herself home and maybe offer to help Hayley with dinner instead.
It would be more than she’d done with her sister in a very long time.