Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
JJ
The weirdest thing about getting back from holiday was smelling her own house. It felt like visiting someone else’s place, like it wasn’t hers anymore. JJ breathed in again, the scent slightly sweet and fresh, with a touch of sandalwood. “Weird,” she muttered, shutting the door behind her.
The house was so quiet. She’d grown used to having Jess around and then having Brooke with her the entire trip. JJ half expected Brooke to walk through the door now—arms sliding around her from behind, Brooke’s smiling face as she leaned back and kissed—okay, stop. What the hell?
Maybe it was time to tee up a new date? Try to move on. This kind of daydream just made her chest hurt.
Shaking her head, she went straight to the laundry, throwing all her clothes into the wash. The house was exactly how she’d left it, not a single dish left out beside the kitchen sink, and everything tidy, in its place.
Now it was time to get to work. She checked on all her plants, and true to Jess’s word, they were all still alive. Coffee was next. Flicking on the machine, she went to grab two mugs, then shook her head. It was just her.
Tonight was the quarterly tradeswomen’s dinner, and it was JJ’s turn to speak.
She’d jotted down notes before she left but wanted them planned out and memorised before the evening.
She’d lined up painting jobs for the day after her return so today she could sort through her stack of emails and messages waiting to be sorted.
She brought her mug over to the dining table and set to work.
JJ was exhausted by the time Jess walked through the door that afternoon, her big clomping boots audible down the hallway. JJ still sat at the dining table and was wrapped in a huge hug from behind, the smell of dust and wood thick in the air.
“Hey stranger!” Jess said. “And yes, I’m dirty as all hell, and I don’t care. Welcome back.”
“Thanks.” Words like it’s good to be back or I’m so glad to be home didn’t feel right, so JJ just smiled.
Usually, she loved her work and her life.
But the past couple of weeks had flipped everything on its head.
She still loved what she did, but the in-betweens felt empty.
She had to stop herself messaging Brooke three separate times today to fill in those gaps.
Instead, she’d sent Remi a photo of her inbox yelling at her with over three hundred emails.
“You’ll have it empty by the end of the day, guaranteed,” Remi had said.
She was right.
Jess’s eyes narrowed as she came around the other side of the table, looking JJ up and down. “What’s going on? You seem down.”
Nothing—absolutely nothing—got past this woman.
“Post holiday blues?” JJ fiddled with a pen on the table.
Jess stared. “Makes sense.”
JJ could tell she didn’t believe her.
“Well, how about you tell me all about this trip of yours while I get ready for our dinner tonight, and I’ll tell you about how awesome your best friend is at—”
“Lalalalala, I don’t want to know!” JJ shoved her hands over her ears.
“I was going to say ‘at drilling’ JJ, god,” Jess said, walking off to the bathroom. “With her fingers!” she yelled at the last minute, shutting the door behind her.
JJ sputtered out a laugh and went back to work on her laptop.
She’d missed her housemate. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being back after all.
By Thursday, she took that back.
While the Monday night tradeswomen’s dinner and speech had gone well, seeing Jess and Remi so ickily loved up had JJ feeling like a third wheel and incredibly alone, even with a huge table full of women.
Tuesday and Wednesday were straight back into painting, her shoulder flaring up with a vengeance after not using it for a couple of weeks.
On Wednesday night, her family had showered her with more food and questions than she knew what to do with, over the moon that she was safe and back home.
By Thursday night, JJ was on the couch with her feet up, staring at the TV, when Jess emerged from her room.
“I’m off to games night with the girls.” Jess stopped halfway to the kitchen and looked at JJ. “You wanna come with? I’ve finally convinced Remi to join us too.”
“Oh. Nah you go, I’m good just… hanging.”
“Really? Because you look like the Mayor of Mopesville to me. Come on, come socialise for a bit. You can admire your handiwork at Marie and Hayley’s.”
JJ’s ears pricked up. Would Brooke be there? While they hadn’t agreed to hang out, it also didn’t mean they couldn’t if Brooke happened to be there tonight… What if she’d been feeling as crap as JJ had without each other’s company?
They’d texted on and off since they’d been back, mostly with Brooke’s update on job hunting and her initial attempts to spend more time with Hayley. Otherwise, it had been just a few back and forth messages reminiscing about their trip.
“Fine.” JJ made a show of shoving off the couch with effort. “Give me a minute to get changed.”
Jess drove, picking up Remi on the way. She let them into Marie and Hayley’s house like she owned the place.
Entering the big open space area, they found the girls were seated on the big blue velvet couch, two other women on a video call streaming through the TV.
One had short brown hair and the other was blonde with a high ponytail.
“Hey everyone!” Jess said. “Everyone, this is Remi and JJ. That’s Taylor and Sam on video, and you already know the girls.”
“Ah, the infamous new housemate and sparkly new girlfriend,” Taylor said.
“That’s me! I remember seeing you at Jess’s birthday, so hi officially.” Remi gave them a wave and sat next to Jess on the floor.
“And guilty as charged.” JJ raised a hand. “Nice to finally meet you, previous housemate and Sam.” She took a seat on the spare couch.
“Likewise.” The video on the TV was constantly moving and JJ realised they were calling from their boat, Manny, that Jess had told her about. It was making her seasick just watching. Thank god she didn’t have to ride another ferry for a while.
Brooke was nowhere to be seen. JJ slouched back on the sofa. Damn.
Everyone started talking over each other and JJ couldn’t get a word in.
The whole group was worse than a pack of hungry seagulls.
Jess prattled on about her apprenticeship, Marie about the latest board games she’d tried and wanted to buy, and Sam recounted their latest sea adventures.
It was like a tennis match of multiple conversations.
No wonder Brooke felt intimidated to join in after so long.
At a rare lull in conversation, Hayley turned to JJ. “So I hear you two had quite the trip. Happy to be back?”
Everyone turned to listen.
“I think Brooke’s given me the travel bug because this week’s been hard. I think I have a holiday hangover.”
The group laughed.
“She did such a great job of the planning though, I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday.”
“Aww.” Brooke appeared with a bag of shopping at the end of the hallway. “Don’t stop on my account. Sounds like you were just getting to the good part.”
JJ’s heart halted. Could it do that? It sure felt like that’s what happened.
Brooke was effortlessly radiant. No shoes, boyfriend jeans and a slouchy black jumper that looked incredibly soft and huggable.
JJ went to move off the couch but remembered where she was.
What they were, or… weren’t… anymore. It was so confusing.
She twitched. Shit. Should she get up and greet Brooke or not?
Friends greeted friends with hugs all the time.
“Did I mention she’s incredibly humble too?” JJ said instead, grinning broadly. Everyone looked between them. A mixture of curiosity and maybe caution at Brooke’s presence.
“I got the snacks,” Brooke said to Hayley, holding up the bag.
“Thanks.” The smile on Hayley was new. This was the first time JJ had seen them together since Brooke had begun to make more of an effort. The vibe seemed positive, and the usual wrinkle in Brooke’s forehead while around her sister was nowhere to be found.
JJ couldn’t sit still any longer. She strode over, meeting Brooke by the kitchen as she unpacked some snacks.
“Thought I better come say hi properly.” JJ held out her arms.
Brooke smiled and slipped into them. Why did that feel so bloody good? JJ inhaled. She’d missed Brooke’s scent, so girly and spicy and quintessentially Brooke. Could someone smell like sunshine? Because that’s what Brooke reminded her of. Pure sunshine. JJ’s shoulders relaxed.
Brooke let her go, and everything became overcast.
They caught each other’s gaze, then Brooke cut away, busying herself with preparing the food.
What just happened? Everything had seemed okay, yet it felt like Brooke had just put a wall up.
“You want a hand with any of that?” JJ drummed her hands on the benchtop and gestured with her chin to an empty bowl.
“I'm good.” Brooke dumped some chips into the bowl, a few falling out onto the benchtop.
“Okay.” Everything JJ wanted to say turned to mush. She put her hands in her pockets. Brooke stayed laser focused on the plating up. JJ shuffled from foot to foot.
“Right,” she muttered, turning and leaving Brooke to it. JJ’s brow furrowed on the way back to the couch. What had she done? Brooke had seemed happy to see her at first, but after that hug… Oh.
Maybe they weren't meant to be touching at all anymore? Even as friends. This limbo business was confusing. As soon as they were alone, JJ was sorting this shit out. They hadn’t discussed what things should look like between them when they were back, or come to think of it, what they were telling the others about their fling.
Maybe Brooke wanted to keep things professional? She’d follow Brooke’s lead tonight.
Jess caught JJ’s eye with a questioning look as she sat back down, Remi doing the same.
She ignored them both, paying attention to Marie instead, who was setting up their board game of the night—something called Dice Throne—and handing out character heroes to each person.
They’d dragged another low table over into the lounge so they had room to spread out the boards.
“You and Brooke haven’t played this yet, so you can team up and help each other out,” Marie said.
JJ peeked over at the kitchen. “Sounds good.”
Brooke picked up the plates to bring over, not sparing one glance JJ’s way. It was good to see Brooke joining in tonight; JJ had half expected her to escape to her room the way she’d spoken about the last games night.
This must be a big moment for Brooke; to not only be in the middle of making amends with Hayley but now facing all her friends after so many years. Man, she must be terrified. That could explain her behaviour…
Maybe it wasn’t JJ, but the whole scenario tonight?
JJ noted the stiffness under the surface now as Brooke walked over and arranged all the food on the table.
Brooke paused, then sat next to JJ, a wide gap between them.
JJ didn’t like it one bit. Brooke had said she pushed people away when they tried to help or be close to her…
but JJ didn’t think that would apply to her.
JJ scratched at the back of her neck. Brooke may have let her close during their fling, but that was over now, yet all JJ wanted to do was be able to make tonight easier for Brooke.
Maybe she still could.
“Brooke, I’m so happy you could make it tonight. Feels like forever since we’ve seen you!” Taylor’s huge smile was so full of warmth and joy it could disarm the sullenest of people.
Brooke tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, looking forward to it.”
Lie.
“Are you around for good? Or just stopping over for a bit?”
Oh, too much, too soon.
Brooke scooted the tiniest bit closer to JJ.
“Uh—still making plans in that area but looking into a few options.” Her smile was tight.
The answer sounded more confident than JJ knew her to be.
Her hand itched to snake across, hold Brooke’s hand or rub her back as a way of support.
But JJ was also proud that Brooke was sitting there and doing this herself.
Facing those fears in the viper pit. Even if said viper pit was just a bunch of really lovely women who Brooke shouldn’t be afraid of in the first place.
Marie broke off the conversation, holding up a dice tower and getting everyone to roll to kick off the game. Brooke dumped their die in.
Six.
It looked like they were going first.
“Here are our cards.” JJ showed Brooke, who had to slide up next to JJ to get a better look. Mission accomplished.
While Brooke didn’t say anything personal during the game, she at least seemed to relax once they got into it.
She opened up more towards the other girls but still kept all conversation with JJ game-focused.
It felt like JJ’s hands were tied behind her back, preventing her from fixing what was happening between them.
This was not the night she’d envisioned when Brooke had first walked into the room.
“Sorry guys,” Remi said after the first round, eyes pinched. “I’m gonna have to head off. I’ve got a crazy headache, and I don’t think all this concentrating is helping.”
Jess rubbed Remi’s back with a frown. “I’ll take you home then.”
“Boo!” Taylor said on screen, her bottom lip pushed out.
“Feel better, Remi!” Sam said.
“All right, I should probably leave too.” JJ moved to get off the couch as well.
“Why are you heading off?” Hayley asked JJ.
“Jess brought me.”
“You don’t have to head off now.”
“Oh but—” JJ glanced at Brooke, who was reading the board game’s instruction manual like it was a smutty romance novel, cheeks flushed and face wedged between the pages. Interesting…
“One of us can take you home,” Marie said.
JJ looked at Jess and Remi. “I mean, only if that’s okay?”
Did Brooke want her to stay? She was avoiding eye contact, so JJ had no idea.
“Of course it’s fine! You’re an adult.” Jess helped Remi up and slid an arm around her.
“Okay, looks like I’m staying.” JJ flopped back down beside Brooke.
Was that a flicker of a smile on the vexatious blonde?