Chapter 30 Brooke
THIRTY
Brooke
The game night didn’t turn out as painful as Brooke had expected. The group hadn't asked her too many questions, she had polite conversation with Hayley, and playing the games had meant more focus on that than on her.
It had also kept Brooke distracted from JJ.
The woman currently sitting next to her on the couch.
The person Brooke hadn’t been able to get out of her head all week. The person who, right from their very first meeting, had believed in her.
Brooke sought out her bracelets, thumbing one of the charms between her fingers.
Being around JJ, Brooke saw herself reflected back not as a failure, but as someone who had potential, who could be something.
JJ didn’t see Brooke for her stuff-ups and her mess; she just saw…
Brooke. And having that person—that warmth and support—wrenched away when they’d got back had been jarring.
The past week Brooke had felt like a fish out of water, and JJ wasn’t even there to laugh at her flopping, encouraging her to dive back in and keep swimming.
Brooke missed her; the closeness and connection beyond what any friendship had given her.
She and JJ hadn’t been just friends though…
not that they’d technically been anything more.
But maybe Brooke wanted that now? The idea of trying a relationship wouldn’t be the worst thing.
Especially not with JJ. If only the woman with the stubborn ideals would be open to that, to… dating Brooke.
Brooke grabbed a handful of chips from the snack bowl and shoved them in her mouth. She needed time to think, to allow that maybe she was ready for that kind of support in her life.
Brooke hadn’t known JJ would be joining them tonight, hadn’t prepared herself to see JJ sitting there on the couch looking all cute and…
ugh. And Brooke certainly wasn’t ready for how much her stomach had swooped at the sight.
It was… unnerving. At least having Remi and JJ new to the games night crew had taken the pressure off Brooke to try and deal with JJ’s sudden presence quietly.
Sam and Taylor had said goodbye a few minutes ago, and everyone was passing pieces to Marie to pack into the box.
Without the video call on the TV, it felt much more intimate with only the four of them left in the room.
Hayley cleared the dishes on the table and Marie picked up the game boxes to take back upstairs, which left Brooke alone… with JJ.
With everything left on Kangaroo Island between them, now they were in friend zone time. But if that was the case, JJ couldn't just go around giving her hugs like that. They were morish. Like eating popcorn. Once you started…
Brooke needed space.
Yet here she was, right next to JJ. Thighs an inch apart, begging her to close the gap.
Space. She needed space.
“I can take you home,” Brooke said, her mouth betraying further. She couldn’t stop.
JJ’s eyes searched Brooke’s face. “You sure?”
“Yeah, it's fine.” Peachy. She was carefree Brooke. More one-on-one time with JJ? That was all good.
Brooke pulled out of the drive in Hayley’s car.
“Feels like we’re driving off again on another adventure,” JJ said.
“You wish.”
“I kinda do.” JJ chuckled, playing with the hem of her cotton grey shirt. “It's certainly made going back to work a lot harder. Did you accept the job?”
“I did.” With the pick packer job the only offer, there wasn't much of a choice, and Brooke didn't want to wait around to start earning money. Income first, happiness later.
“I'm happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
“So…” JJ scratched at the back of her head. “Did I overstep tonight? Hugging you earlier? Because I'm sorry if I did.”
“No?” It came out as a question. Brooke’s face heated. It was one thing for her to know the hug had been a lot, but pile on the fact that JJ had noticed? The heat grew stronger.
Who struggled to keep their shit together when a friend hugged them?
They stopped at a traffic light and Brooke tried to think of how to explain herself. She let out a long breath.
“You didn't overstep. But—”
Their holiday fling was over, only Brooke felt like her head and her heart hadn’t got the memo.
Her mind tortured her night and day, a mix of memories and future fantasies, all of them involving the painter sitting next to her.
And her body still ached, craving to be close to JJ again.
Now, being around JJ again after their time apart, Brooke couldn’t deny what was happening to her. What she wanted.
Even if it was impossible.
“Tell me what you need.” JJ faced her, head resting against the seat.
That was the million-dollar question.
The light turned green.
“I don't think it’s something you can give me.”
Houses rushed past, streetlights blurring.
“What do you mean?” JJ’s knee bounced.
Brooke’s hand twitched and her heart hammered, white noise screaming in her ears.
“Because that would be—you.”
Time stopped.
Brooke’s entire body flushed, chest burning. She’d admitted it out loud.
To herself.
To JJ.
She refused to look anywhere but the road. A few more turns and they'd be at JJ’s house. Estimated arrival time in one minute, according to Hayley’s GPS.
It was going to be a long minute.
“Sorry, I—what do you mean?” JJ repeated.
Brooke squeezed the steering wheel. “Ever since getting back, I've been thinking about our trip. And about you. I know I said I don’t date, but I've also never met anyone like you. Someone who’s made me consider something else. When we left our trip behind, the weight was crushing knowing we were going back to our regular lives after sharing what we did. I know it was meant to be a bit of fun, and it did start out that way. But it became something more for me.”
Brooke swallowed. “And I know I need to deal with that because you're looking for something and someone else.
I'm not part of your plan. So I think while what I want is you… what I need is space. Time to get over this.” She waved her hand in the air between them.
“Then maybe, we could be friends. But right now, it's too hard.”
Brooke pulled into JJ’s driveway and switched off the car, plunging them into silence. She still refused to look at JJ after her spontaneous speech, but Brooke’s eyes were drawn to her anyway. How could they not?
JJ still hadn’t said anything. She sat there, nodding. She opened and closed her mouth. More nodding. Brooke had broken her.
“That's… that’s a lot to think about. But—thank you. For telling me.” More nodding.
JJ rubbed at her chin. “Leave it with me, and I'll make sure to respect your boundaries in the meantime.” JJ’s hand scrambled for the door.
She was out of the car and walking up to her front door before Brooke had even let out her breath.
Okay, not the response she'd wanted, but the response she'd expected.
A calm fell over her even as her insides churned and chest ached.
Well, she'd said her piece and spoken up for herself.
That had to count for something.