Chapter 16
James: Do You Want To Know A Secret?
It’s confession time. I’ve become a bit of a rebel.
We’re not meant to have any bikes. At all.
As I mentioned, The Boss is not a fan. But I was missing cycling – it was my big passion in life, that and Amy, and the army.
So I started asking around about where I could get hold of a bike.
You’d think they’d have some up here somewhere.
Let’s face it, loads of people love bikes, and it’s meant to be paradise – surely people should be able to have the things they love.
But I’ve drawn a blank. There’s not even an original Chopper.
I say ‘even’, but actually an original Chopper would really be worth something – probably fetch around three grand these days.
But money’s not a thing up here. It’s weird, but up here things you want just seem to turn up somehow.
There aren’t any shops, so you can’t go out and buy things.
But usually if you need something or you’ve been thinking you’d like something, an angel will show up weirdly quickly with exactly that.
Like the other day, I was just thinking I could do with some new sunglasses, and when I got back from the pub, there was a really sleek box at my front door, and inside was a brand new pair of Ray-Bans.
Just like some I had a few years ago when I first joined the army.
But the strange thing is, however much I long to go cycling, however much I wish for a bike, nothing shows up.
Just like no matter how much I long for Amy.
But of course when I start to wish for Amy, I try to make sure I stop myself straightaway.
Because what if that worked? What if my longing brought her up here?
That would be so unforgivable. However much I want her here with me, I know she has her whole life to live.
And although I suspect this doesn’t apply to people, I can’t take any chances. No, I definitely can’t be that selfish.
So, back to the bikes. I’ve been mulling over the problem and I’ve decided I’m going to do something about it.
It’s a bit risky – there’s probably a danger I could get kicked out of this place if The Boss finds out, but what’s life without a bit of risk?
And to be honest, risk is in fairly short supply up here.
So, as I can’t get hold of a bike, my plan is to start making bikes.
That might sound ambitious – after all, we don’t have eBay up here, so I can’t just start ordering bike parts.
But what we do have loads of up here is 3D printers.
The Boss loves his tech, and he’s generous with making it available to everyone.
And I’ve taken so many bikes apart and rebuilt them in my time, I reckon I can design and produce all the parts we need.
I’ve never used a 3D printer before, but how hard can it be?
So that’s what I’m planning to do. As Gran says, necessity is the mother of invention. A wise lady, my gran.
I think there’s going to be a real demand for bikes, and not just for adults – there are kids here as well.
And given that they’ve already been short-changed on the whole life thing, I think it’s only fair they should get some good things to compensate in some way.
What kid doesn’t love bikes? It’s not far off, but if I can I’d really like to get some kids’ bikes put together for Christmas.
We – that’s me and the lads – have found a workshop where we can set up the 3D printing.
The hardest part has been getting hold of the materials we need.
Carbon fibre is perfect for making bikes.
It’s super strong and lightweight too, but strangely it’s not been easy to find.
Perhaps it’s in short supply, but more probably it’s just that I’m still fairly new to it all, and heaven’s a big place.
It needs to be. There are a lot of people.
There’d have to be, when you think about it.
I mean, a lot of people have passed through the pearly gates, so to speak.
Not that there really are any pearly gates – I hope that doesn’t come as too much of a disappointment, but actually there’s this super high-tech…
well, I probably shouldn’t say any more.
I’ll leave that as a surprise for whenever you get here.
Strangely, you’d never know there are that many people. It’s not as though places get overcrowded. Obviously you get big crowds for major events, like the David Bowie gig. But other than that, you just don’t feel anywhere’s busy. There just seems to be so much space for everyone.
Right. Back to the bikes. With a bit of help, we’ve finally got hold of some carbon fibre filament, which is just what we need for printing the bike frames.
The only thing is, Gabe (Archangel Gabriel, that is) now suspects something’s going on.
He’s the AA I asked to help track down the materials, and although he didn’t actually ask what we needed it for, I could see he was questioning it in his head.
But he’s really cool and laid-back, so off he went and got us some anyway, even though I’m pretty sure he guessed we were up to something slightly dodgy.
Tonight I’m getting Andy and Luke to come along and help me out with making our first batch of parts.
I’ve prepared a load of designs. It’s taken ages.
Just as well I don’t have a job up here yet.
It’s still early days for me – you don’t get a job until you’ve been here two years.
Then – get this – you get to be a guardian.
Yeah, they seriously call them guardians.
Like something out of Marvel. How cool is that?
And you get to look after someone back on Earth.
I love the idea of doing that. Luke and Andy are already guardians, having been here so much longer than I have.
I asked Luke to become a guardian for Amy, I know he’d do a brilliant job of taking care of her, but the angels who looked into it have decided she needs a more experienced guardian because she has such an extreme case of grief.
Which made me feel guiltier than ever for what’s happened.
I’ve been spending even more time on the bikes to distract myself from how bad I’m feeling about Amy, especially as my messages are still not getting through properly yet.
It turns out these printers are amazing.
The parts they produce are perfect, every time.
I thought we’d be having to practise over and over, trying to get everything set up right, but even the very first one to come out of the printer was spot on.
I’ve bought some expensive bikes and some expensive parts in my time, but seriously, the parts that come out of these printers are good enough to rival any of the best I’ve ever bought back on Earth. The boys are as astonished as I am.
A week on, and we’ve managed to requisition a few more printers to speed things up a bit. Gabe has pulled out all the stops, as ever. He’ll do anything to help, and he always seems to be around just when you need him – like yesterday, when I was just leaving my house, there he was.
‘Good Morning, James. A fine morning, is it not?’ Gabe called over. He’s funny like that, always sounds incredibly formal, but actually he’s very friendly.
‘Morning, Gabe,’ I replied. ‘How are you?’
‘Very well indeed, thank you for asking. And are you well?’
‘I am, thanks. Busy though.’
‘Oh?’ he looked curious.
‘Yes, still working on my little project. I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could get your hands on some more of that carbon fibre for me, could you Gabe?’
‘I am more than happy to try,’ he replied, obligingly. ‘Is there anything else you require?’
‘Well, some aluminium and titanium would be amazing – and another printer would be really helpful, if you could, please,’ I added rather optimistically.
‘Of course,’ he said with a smile. He didn’t ask what I needed it for, but he had an almost knowing look.
I wonder if these archangels have some kind of sixth sense.
Anyway, off he went again and got us everything I’d asked for, without asking any awkward questions.
He just arranged for it all to be delivered to the workshop. All in the space of a few hours.
So, thanks to him and my awesome mates we’ve now got our first batch of bikes made.
And the results are pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.
Amazing what you can turn your hand to when you have to.
And they are so cool to ride. The carbon fibre forks give brilliant shock absorption, and the gear changes are super smooth – Shimano, eat your heart out!
The only fly in the ointment is we are going to have to be so careful not to get spotted by The Boss.
They don’t have security cameras up here – guess it’s not that sort of place really, doesn’t need to be a surveillance state.
But somehow, despite that, The Boss does seem to know about a lot of what goes on up here.
We’re going to be giving some bikes out to the kids at Christmas. I don’t see any reason why kids shouldn’t get presents up here. If anything, the celebrations should be bigger in this place.
The boys are round again tonight and we’re working on another batch of new parts.
‘Look at these forks, they’re perfect,’ calls Andy excitedly, holding them up for Luke and me to see. ‘How come we never thought to do this back on Earth? These are going to be the best bikes ever.’
‘Somehow, I don’t think the 3D printers back there are going to be in the same league as these though,’ adds Luke.
He’s got a point. The tech up here is out of this world.
I have to be honest, heaven is turning out to be a really cool place.
If only I had Amy here with me, it would be pretty much perfect.
Which reminds me, I need to ask the boys something.
The thing with Amy is she’s completely driven and determined, and when she wants something, she’ll do everything she possibly can to get it.
And I’ve realised I need to change what she wants.
I need her to stop wanting to be with me and start wanting to meet someone else, and although part of me – all of me – hates the thought of someone taking my place, I know deep down it’s what needs to happen.
‘Hey guys, changing the subject completely, I wanted to pick your brains about Amy.’
‘About Amy?’ Andy looks up, surprised. ‘Don’t think there’s much we could know about her that you don’t, mate.’
‘No, I know. What I mean is, who do you think she could, you know, well—’
‘Well what?’ asks Luke.
‘You know, get together with,’ I say, reluctantly.
I can’t stand the thought of it, but I know I have to think of Amy, not myself now.
And she needs to live her life fully, not dwelling on memories of me.
Surely another relationship would force her out of that.
‘So, who do you think liked her? From our crowd?’ I push on.
‘Everyone liked Amy,’ says Luke.
‘But in that way,’ I say.
‘I expect quite a few of the lads liked her “in that way”, as you so eloquently put it,’ replies Andy.
‘You’re not making this easy. Who do you think would be good enough for her? Who should I be trying to convince her to date, if I can ever get this app to work with her and make proper contact?’
‘Are you sure you’re ready to hear a suggestion?’ asks Luke.
He knows me too well. I’m absolutely not ready.
‘Sure I’m ready,’ I reply, bracing myself.
‘Okay then. Simon.’
‘Simon? Simon, our boss Simon?’ There’s a loud clattering sound as the handlebars I was holding drop to the floor.
‘The very same,’ says Luke.
‘You’ve got to be kidding!’
‘See, I knew you weren’t ready.’ Luke’s shaking his head.
‘Are you serious? You think Simon’s got a thing for Amy?’ I’m starting to feel jealous already.
‘I think he’s got a huge soft spot for her. Maybe more.’
‘Bastard!’
‘James, come on, you loved Simon,’ says Luke.
‘Yeah, but really? Simon and Amy?’
‘Is there anyone you’d trust more to be good to her, to look after her?’ asks Andy.
‘Well—’
‘Come on, be honest,’ presses Andy.
‘Okay, probably not,’ I reluctantly concede. Deep down I have to admit they’re right, Simon’s brilliant, as well as the best boss I ever had. It’s just I’m feeling blindsided by the idea of him and Amy together.
‘Well then, Simon’s your man,’ says Luke.
‘You mean Amy’s man,’ I reply, now hoping that didn’t sound too bitter. I’m wondering how I’m ever going to feel enthusiastic about this idea.
I suppose if I’m honest, I was just imagining that one day in many years, when she’d lived out her days down there, we’d get to be together again.
But, of course that isn’t going to happen, is it?
Because sooner or later she’ll get together with someone else on Earth and then I’ll become just a distant memory, and she’ll want to spend the afterlife with him.
And yet that’s what I’m meant to hope for, and what I ought to push for.
In theory it could be good timing to get something to happen, with Christmas coming up – parties, mistletoe and all that. I suppose I might be able to see if The Boss could fix Amy up with Simon – or someone. I just need to get my head around the idea first. And then perhaps I’ll ask him. Maybe.