Apart

Chapter 40

James: It’s My Life

I can see The Boss walking up the path to the workshop, but I don’t much feel like talking to him. I’m not usually one for sulking, but I’m still so pissed off with him. I trusted him. That’s what you’re meant to do, right? Trust in God.

I’m busy putting a bike back together, and I don’t feel like stopping just because he’s arrived.

The door’s already open and he taps lightly on it and steps inside.

‘Morning James.’

I grunt a response.

‘Still in a bad mood with me then?’

‘Well, yeah. What did you expect? I mean, it’s a bit rubbish finding I should have had longer down there, with Amy and everything, and I’ve ended up here years early just because of some kind of systems error.’

‘I know, mate. And I honestly am so sorry about—’

‘Yeah well, perhaps you should get some of your angels onto it and stop this sort of shit from happening in future. And what about Amy? Look what you’ve done to her. Look what she’s been through. She’s only twenty-six and—’

‘Twenty-seven,’ he interrupts.

‘What?’

‘She had a birthday, remember? She’s twenty-seven.’

He’s right. I knew that, I was just trying to kid myself that hadn’t happened. I didn’t want her to have a birthday without me. I should have been there. And now the anger is starting to bubble up again, because it’s his fault I wasn’t there. It is his system that made the error after all.

‘Fine,’ I retort. ‘Twenty-seven. The point is she’s young, too young to be having to deal with this kind of shit.’

I’m so mad, my fingers are clumsy and I’m struggling to fix the chain on the bike, even though normally I could do this sort of thing in my sleep.

‘I know, and that’s why—’

‘She shouldn’t have to have all this grief just because you didn’t get your systems working properly. It’s totally—’

‘Are you ever going to let me get a word in edgeways?’

‘Well, you’re going to have to find a way to make it up to her.’

‘Look, I get that you’re angry,’ he says. ‘That’s completely understandable. I’d be angry in your shoes. I know I need to sort it out. Make it up to you. And to Amy – quite feisty when she wants to be, isn’t she?’

‘Feisty? Amy? What do you mean?’

‘Oh, never mind. The point is, I’m going to put things right. I’ve just been putting off telling you, because, well, because I, err, well—’

‘Because what?’

‘Well—’

‘Spit it out.’

‘Well, because…’ he shuffles from one foot to the other, looking very awkward.

‘Well, I’m not really meant to have favourites.

But, well, you know, you’ve been… Well, the thing is, it’s hard for me to have pals.

Most people are sort of in awe of me, and they can’t seem to get over who I am.

You know what I mean. But you, well you’re different.

I really felt like we were mates. So now, if I’m completely honest, I don’t want you to go back to Earth. ’ He sighs. ‘There, now I’ve said it.’

‘Go back to Earth? You’re sending me back?’ I can hardly believe my ears.

‘Yes. I’m sending you back. And the truth is I’m going to miss you, mate.’

Wow! This is a lot to take in. Is The Boss seriously going to send me back to life?

And was I really one of his favourites? I don’t know whether to be angry with him for not telling me or to feel flattered.

But seriously – going back to Earth? That’s insane.

And totally amazing! Oh my god, I get to be with Amy again.

But now the practical side of me is starting to kick in – force of habit.

How? Surely this is going to be a logistical nightmare.

‘And how’s that going to work, going back permanently? I’m going to give people a heart attack if I just show up back on Earth!’

‘Oh no need to worry about that. I’m quite clever at some things, you know.

I am God after all. I’ll do a little timeline adjustment.

Wind back time a bit, just for the two of you.

I’ll make sure all the good things still happen, there’ll be no downsides for any of your friends or family.

No problem there. No, the real problem will be working out who can know. Ideally you’d be the only one.’

‘But what about Amy?’

‘Just don’t tell her.’

‘I can’t keep the truth from Amy,’ I say firmly. ‘That’s impossible. How could I lie to her day in, day out, without her realising? It’s not how we are.’

‘But don’t you think that would be fairer on her than having to keep this massive secret for the rest of her life?’

‘I know her. I know she’d rather keep the secret from everyone else than have me keep a secret from her.’ I can’t emphasise enough how important this is to me.

‘Hmmm. I’ll have to have a think about that.’

‘There’s no need. I can tell you now, Amy has to know.

We promised to be completely honest with each other, always.

I’d never be able to keep something huge like this from her without her suspecting something’s up, and then it would ruin the relationship – or I’d end up telling her.

’ Okay, I realise I’m ranting, but Amy and I didn’t lie to each other.

That’s part of what made our relationship so solid.

And going back now and having to live with a lie on this scale would ruin everything.

The Boss is looking pretty shocked at my outburst. Me and my big mouth. What if I’ve gone and blown my chance of going back at all?

‘Okay. All right,’ he says. ‘Obviously I don’t know Amy like you do, so if you think she can manage to keep this whole thing quiet, well, I trust your judgement.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Do you want me to change my mind?’

‘No! Hey, thanks.’ I can’t help grinning again now at the thought of getting to go back to Amy.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this could really happen. And yet, The Boss is clearly serious. And I am going to get to be with Amy again!

But how on earth do I tell Luke and Andy? And how are they going to react? I know they’ll be happy for me, but will they secretly be resentful too, that I’m getting to go back? I’ll tell them over a beer at the pub tonight. But first I need to tell someone else – my gran.

So that was bittersweet, of course. Naturally Gran was thrilled for me, but I will really miss seeing her.

And now it’s time to tell the lads. We’ve just sat down at a table in the corner of the pub garden.

I look around over my shoulder. No one in earshot.

That’s good. Obviously, I have to keep this quiet, The Boss doesn’t want everyone knowing about this going back to life thing.

Might have a mass exodus on his hands. I’m still unsure of how the boys are going to react, but I have to tell them sometime, so in the end I just blurt it out.

‘I’m going back.’

‘Going back?’ says Luke, stretching and getting comfortable in his chair.

‘Yes, I’m going back,’ I reply.

‘Going back where?’ asks Andy, taking a swig of his pint.

‘Going back to Earth.’

‘Yeah, right,’ says Andy, laughing. ‘Still trying to get us back for the incense?’

‘No, seriously, I’m going back.’

And it takes me several minutes to convince them that I’m not trolling them, and that The Boss really is arranging for me to go back to life. Well, that’s hit Luke and Andy for six. You can almost hear the cogs whirring in their heads as they try to process it all.

‘Shall I ask The Boss if there’s any way you guys could go back too?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all go back together?

The Boss is going to rewind time so if we all went back it would be like the old days, no one else would know any different, and you could get back with Becky, Luke, and it would be like nothing ever went wrong… ’

Andy clears his throat and starts signalling to me to stop talking. I turn around and there’s The Boss, heading over to our table, a pint of beer in one hand.

‘Hello lads. How are you? Well, I can see he must have told you.’

Luke and Andy just nod.

‘I know it’s not ideal for you guys, having to say goodbye to your pal for now, but well, turns out he’s not really meant to be here.

There’s been some kind of glitch with the system.

Which explains why James’ tech hasn’t been working very well, and why he’s been such having a hard time since he got back from his night of gallivanting on Earth.

I’ve had loads of angels on the case, but they’ve still not got to the bottom of why the filter’s failed, or how to fix it.

I must admit, I’m very disappointed in them. Heads will roll.’

The boys are just looking at him, clearly not sure what to make of all this.

‘Nah, just kidding,’ he chuckles to himself.

‘Don’t worry. No heads rolling up here. But the point is, we still haven’t been able to put things right for your friend.

I can’t bear to watch young James here moping around any longer.

This is meant to be a happy place, he’s going to get us a bad rap, and I can’t have all the new candidates opting to go to the other place instead because they think it’s so bad up here.

I mean, it’s pretty good really, isn’t it guys? ’

‘Oh yeah, really cool,’ replies Andy earnestly, clearly eager to reassure The Boss. Luke is nodding along. ‘Yeah, yeah, really cool,’ he echoes.

‘Okay, well that’s good. I’m glad you like it. See, James, it’s not so bad up here.’

‘But couldn’t you let Luke and Andy go back with me?’ I ask eagerly.

The Boss looks taken aback at my suggestion. ‘Hmm. Not sure about that,’ he says. ‘The system error was specific to you.’

‘But if you could swing it, it would be amazing, right, guys?’

Andy and Luke look shocked. Probably didn’t think I’d dare ask.

‘It’ll be like old times,’ I add.

The Boss is still looking unsure. I can see I’m going to have to do some convincing here.

‘Do you know what? I would have to say no,’ says Andy slowly.

‘Really?’ The Boss looks at him questioningly.

‘Yep. Really,’ replies Andy.

‘Well, I wouldn’t have expected that.’ Now it’s The Boss’ turn to look shocked.