Chapter 11 #3
"Shame." The almost-smile disappears too quickly, but not before I see it. Something inside me warms. Not the bond. Me.
We leave the dueling gallery. The doors seal behind us with a deep metallic sigh, chains sliding back into place. The corridor outside feels too bright, too normal, even though we are in the old wing where the stones are scarred and the windows are narrow.
Seren waits near the corner, pacing so aggressively I am surprised she hasn't worn a groove into the floor.
She stops when she sees us. "Finally. I was two minutes away from interrupting whatever brooding ritual was happening in there."
"No ritual," I say.
Valerius says nothing. Seren looks between us. Her gaze narrows. "What happened?"
"He's sleeping in my room," I say.
Seren's mouth falls open. Valerius's head turns toward me sharply. "Sitting."
"Sleeping sitting," I clarify.
Seren blinks once. Twice. Then she points at him. "Absolutely not."
"He said I could choose." I say.
"And you chose that?" She asks.
"I chose my room over his." I smile.
"That is like choosing which cursed well to fall into." She gives me a look.
Valerius says, "I'll stand outside."
"No," I say.
He looks at me. So does Seren. My face heats. I force myself to hold his gaze. "If something happens, a door between us might matter."
The words are practical. That is all. Practical but Valerius looks at me like he hears the trust buried beneath them. I look away first.
Seren's expression softens into something complicated. "Val..."
"I'm scared," I admit. The words silence both of them.
My throat tightens, but I keep going because pretending is exhausting and I am so tired.
"I don't know what's happening. I don't know why the mirrors did that. I don't know why Magistra Voss's stones reacted. I don't know what my mother meant. And I don't want to be alone tonight."
Seren's eyes shine. Valerius goes utterly still.
I look at him because this part is for him, and I hate that, but it is true.
"If you're offering because you feel trapped by the bond, don't. If you're offering because you think I'm helpless, don't. But if you're offering because something is wrong and you know you can stop it from reaching me..." My voice drops. "Then stay."
The corridor holds its breath. Valerius looks at me for a long moment.
All cruelty gone. All arrogance stripped quiet.
Only the dangerous boy beneath, the one made of fire and control and shadows that move when I hurt.
"I'm offering," he says, "because if something reaches for you tonight, I want it to find me first."
My breath catches. Seren goes silent. The bond mark glows beneath my sleeve.
I nod and for once, Valerius doesn't look away.
The walk back to the east tower feels endless. Not because the corridors are long, though they are. Not because people stare, though they do. Not because whispers follow us, though they wrap around every step like vines. It feels endless because something has shifted.
Valerius walks beside me, closer than he used to. His shoulder doesn't touch mine, but the space between us feels chosen now. Seren walks on my other side, watchful and tense, her green magic flickering faintly whenever anyone looks too long.
Valerius doesn't glare at anyone directly, but his presence does the work for him.
By the time we reach the east tower, the sky beyond the windows is darkening into evening.
The academy lanterns burn low and golden.
Supper is beginning somewhere below, the dining hall filling with noise and questions and branch flames.
I don't want to go. Seren offers to bring food to my room.
Valerius agrees before I can. I glare at him. He says, "You haven't eaten since morning."
Seren gasps. "I hate that he noticed before I did."
"I ate," I protest.
"A sugared roll at breakfast doesn't count," Valerius says.
I stare at him. "How do you know that?" He looks away. Too late.
Seren's eyebrows climb so high they nearly vanish into her curls. "Oh," she says.
Valerius's voice turns cold. "Don't."
"I didn't say anything." She lifts her hands in the air.
"You were about to." He warns her.
"I was about to say I'll get supper." She says with a smile forming on her face.
"Then do that." He orders her.
Seren looks at me, her expression screaming we will discuss this later, then hurries down the corridor toward the stairs. Leaving me alone with him outside my room. My door suddenly looks different with Valerius standing beside it.
I open it before I can think too hard. The room glows softly with the candles my mother's magic lit days ago and that I haven't had the heart to extinguish.
Pale curtains frame the dark window. Books sit stacked on my desk.
My bed is unmade from a sleepless night.
A lavender sachet rests on my pillow where I threw it this morning.
My hairbrush lies near the vanity. The silver starling clip glints beneath candlelight.
My life. Small, soft, painfully mine. Valerius stands at the threshold and doesn't enter.
I look back. "What?"
His eyes move over the room quickly, then return to me. "You invited me to guard your room," he says. "Not invade it."
Something inside my chest twists. Of course he chooses now to be careful. I step aside. "Come in."
He does. Slowly. Like every step requires permission. The sight of him in my room is absurd. He's too dark for it. Too tall. Too sharp against the pale curtains and narrow bed and shelves of worn books. He looks like a blade placed among flowers. Or a shadow that somehow belongs beside a candle.