Chapter 11 #4
I hate the thought immediately. He looks at the candles. "They stay lit for you?"
"My mother lit them." I move to my desk and tidy papers that do not need tidying. "You can take the chair."
"I planned to." He says.
"Good." I nod.
"Good." He nods back.
The silence after that is painfully awkward. Valerius walks to the chair near the window and positions it so he can see both the door and the room. Of course he does.
"You're actually doing this," I say.
He sits, long legs stretched slightly in front of him, arms resting on the chair like he belongs on a throne instead of beside my vanity. "Yes."
"All night?" I ask.
"Yes." He nods confidently.
"That's ridiculous." Inlet out a small laugh.
"I've done more ridiculous things." He says.
"Like what?" I ask.
His eyes lift to mine. For a second, I think he might answer. Then, "Survived my family." The words are quiet.
Something in me stills. Before I can ask, a knock sounds, and Seren enters with a tray piled with food and enough tea for five people. Her eyes bounce from Valerius in the chair to me standing by the desk.
"Good," she says. "No one is dead or kissing."
I choke on air. Valerius's face goes glacial. "Ashwick."
"What? I'm assessing threats." She says.
"There is no threat of that nature here." He says. The words hit too fast.
My cheeks burn. "Obviously," I say.
Seren winces. "Wonderful. Everyone is uncomfortable. Let's eat."
We do, somehow. Seren sits cross-legged on my bed. I sit at my desk. Valerius refuses food until Seren threatens to tell Eli he is too weak to eat bread, which makes him accept a roll with murder in his eyes.
It's strange. So strange. Eating in my room while the academy hums outside. Seren talking too much because she is nervous. Valerius sitting silently by the window, watching the door, occasionally glancing at my wrist when he thinks I don't notice. I always notice.
Eventually, Seren leaves because her own bonded check-in with Eli can't be avoided forever. She hugs me tightly before she goes. "If anything happens, scream," she whispers.
"I will." I smile.
"And if he does anything—"
I stop her. "He won't," I say. The certainty surprises me.
Seren pulls back and studies my face. Then she nods, though worry remains in her eyes. "I'm down the hall."
"I know." I give her a reassuring smile.
When she leaves, the room becomes impossibly quiet. Valerius locks the door with a flick of his fingers. Black fire traces the frame once, then disappears.
I stare. "Did you just ward my door?"
"Yes."
"With Shadowflame?" I ask.
"Yes." He nods.
"Is that safe?"
His mouth curves faintly. "For you."
I don't know what to say to that. I change into my nightdress behind the privacy screen near my wardrobe, hands clumsy with awareness.
The fabric is simple and white, softer than my uniform, with long sleeves that cover the mark.
When I step out, Valerius is looking firmly out the window. Too firmly.
My cheeks heat. "You can breathe," I say. "I'm dressed."
"I was breathing." He takes a breath in.
"You looked like the window was very important." I laugh.
"It is less irritating than you." The insult is almost comforting.
I climb into bed, pulling the blankets up to my waist. The candles flicker beside me. Valerius remains in the chair, shadowed and silent, his gaze on the door.
For several minutes, neither of us speaks. Then I whisper, "Valerius?"
His eyes move to me instantly. "What?"
"If the mirrors were showing the future..." My throat tightens. "Do you think that was me?"
He doesn't answer quickly. I appreciate that. "No," he says at last. Relief loosens something in me. Then he adds, "I think it was something trying to scare you."
My relief fades. "That's not better."
"No." He agrees.
I turn onto my side, facing him. "You don't think I looked dangerous?"
His jaw tightens. In the candlelight, his face looks softer, though maybe that is only because shadows hide the sharpest parts. "I think," he says slowly, "that whatever you are, the world is going to call it dangerous the second they can't control it."
The words settle into me with frightening precision. I remember Magistra Voss. My father. My mother's fear.
"What do you call it?" I ask.
He looks at me. At my pale hair on the pillow. At the blanket tucked beneath my chin. At the sleeve hiding the mark. At me. "I haven't decided."
I should roll my eyes. Instead, I smile faintly. "Still?"
His gaze holds mine. "Still."
Silence returns. This time, it's not as sharp. The bond hums quietly between us, softened by the dark. I can feel him in the room, but not in the terrifying way I felt him after the Flame chose us. This is steadier. A shadow at the door. A fire banked low. A danger turned outward.
My eyes grow heavy despite myself. Just before sleep takes me, I feel the mark warm. I drift with one last impossible thought. Valerius Draven is in my room. Guarding my door and for the first time since the Eternal Flame chose us, I'm not afraid to close my eyes and sleep comes to me quickly.