Chapter 21
"Are you nervous?"
Mertie glanced at Garnet, who looked as cool as a person could. But everything he had planned hinged on this sermon being a smashing success.
"Not really. I'm comfortable speaking in front of people, and I know what I'm going to say. I hope I can give God the credit He deserves, but otherwise, I'm excited."
He looked like he meant every word.
Dabney had gone ahead of them to meet a couple of kids from her class, and there were people milling about in the parking lot. Soon Garnet would be chatting and she would need to step back and allow him to do his job, pastor the people of this church.
And he seemed ready for it. She could only wish she had his faith. That must be why he wasn't nervous. Whatever happened was in God's hands.
She could learn a few things from him.
"So, in another couple of hours you could be the new pastor."
"Actually, no."
"What?" She almost shouted it, but lowered her voice just in time. "What are you talking about?"
"The Bible says that a pastor is the husband of one wife. I'm not the husband of any. I told the Lord when I applied for this position that if He didn't provide a wife, I wasn't going to accept it. Now, God sometimes cuts things pretty close, and I wanted to give Him all the time He wanted, just having faith that everything would work out, but, the fact of the matter is, I'm not going to be a permanent pastor if I don't have a wife."
"Oh."
Of course. That made total sense to her. She knew the passage he spoke of, although she'd never applied it like that. She just assumed a pastor couldn't be divorced and remarried. It hadn't occurred to her that he needed to be married to begin with.
Mrs. Brandstetter headed their way, and she moved back so Garnet could speak with her. Looking around, she was disappointed to not see Becky, whom she'd spoken with the last Sunday. She'd been praying for her, just having the feeling that God was working on her about something and wanting to help if she could.
It ended up that Garnet had another amazing sermon. She couldn't explain why she felt so proud of him. It wasn't like she had anything to do with it, but her heart just swelled as he spoke the last words and the congregation bowed their heads for the altar call.
She couldn't wait to tell him how amazing his sermon was, but that joy and excitement was tempered by the idea that no matter how good it was, he wasn't going to be the pastor here.
Unless he had a wife.
The words stopped her cold. She didn't want Garnet to have a wife.
Not unless it was her.
She blinked. Where did that thought come from? She wasn't interested in getting married, wanted to finish up cleaning up the house so she could accept Zebedee's offer and move on with her own career, except...was that really what she wanted?
Dominic Miller stood up as the congregation sat down. He thanked Garnet. "If you'd like to go somewhere, we'll call you when the results are in. We're going to have a chance for everyone to chat a bit, so plan on an hour or so."
Garnet shook his hand, nodded and walked off the platform. Since Mertie wasn't a member of the church, she wouldn't be voting, so as Garnet walked by, she tapped Dabney's arm and they both stood up and followed him out.
They could hear Dominic talking as they closed the door behind them.
"I think everyone liked it, Dad. At least no one was sleeping that I could see."
Mertie bit back a laugh at Dabney's definition of a good sermon - it kept everyone awake. She supposed that maybe wasn't a terrible litmus test.
"I thought it was excellent as well. Truly fantastic." She didn't know how to tell him that his message on seeking the Lord and accepting His will for their life had hit closer to home than she wanted to admit. After all, she only really wanted to do God's will when it was her will too. And she wanted her will to be God's will.
As Garnet had said, it was often easy to tell what was the Lord's will because it wouldn't be the easy way and was often not the way they, or the rest of the world, thought they should do things.
"Thanks." Garnet looked pleased. "I'm happy my two favorite ladies enjoyed my sermon." He put an arm around Dabney and an arm around Mertie and squeezed. She allowed herself to be pulled closer and enjoyed standing beside him. A longing deep in her soul to make this her family surprised her with its strength. Much stronger than any longing to have a brilliant career.
Garnet squeezed one more time, then let go. "What do you say we walk home and check on Gram and Pap?"
"Dad?" Dabney said, her voice muffled like she was still pressed against his side.
"Yeah, Sweetie?"
"When are you and Miss Mertie going to tell me that Miss Mertie is my mom?"
Mertie froze. So did Garnet, and both of them were absolutely quiet.
"Where did you hear that?" he said, his voice just above a whisper.
"Does it matter?" Mertie asked, pulling away from him and moving so she could see both her daughter and her daughter's dad.
"No. I guess it doesn't."
"Gram told me. She said Mrs. Calvin's sister, the nurse who delivered me, told her when she visited Mrs. Calvin to deliver cookies." Dabney looked down for a moment, as though thinking. Mertie was too stunned to say anything, and perhaps that was Garnet's issue, too, since neither of them spoke.
Finally, Garnet asked, "How long have you known?"
Dabney shuffled her feet and pursed her lips, still looking at the ground. Finally, she glanced up.
"You know the first day we saw her? At the Bible study?"
Mertie swallowed hard. She'd practically run from that Bible study. What must Dabney think? She didn't want her daughter to think she didn't want her.
"Yes?" Garnet said, compassion in his voice. "You knew then?"
"Not really. Not at first. But," Dabney paused for a moment. "She looks like me. I mean, it's not exactly like looking in a mirror. But, all my life, I've looked at people and tried to see myself in them." She lifted a shoulder. "I don't want you to think that you're not a good dad, or that I'm not happy with you. That's probably why I never said anything. And when we talk about it, I always say the bad things about the ladies we are looking at, but with Miss Mertie...she looked like me. Like, my eyes, like a shadow of the reflection I see every day. And, I tried to ask you about her, but I just couldn't come right out and ask. I thought you’d tell me."
Garnet's lips pressed together and Mertie could almost feel his pain, thinking about his daughter wondering about her mother and him never knowing.
"So, anyway, I just wondered if you guys are ever going to tell me. Gram said to give you time, but I have. At least it seems like I've waited a long time"
She twisted her hands in front of her. "I know you said that you weren't going to take the pastorate here if God didn't send you a wife, and I kept waiting for you and Mertie to announce that you're together, but you don't even seem to be trying."
Dabney's voice gradually got louder until she was practically shrieking.
Mertie's eyes fluttered, and, while her head spun with thoughts of the offer from Zebedee and her career, her heart felt quiet and at peace.
Who else had supported her, stood with her - even if they weren't together - and always made decisions that were best for her? Garnet had been a friend to her, even when she hadn't realized it, and sometimes when she hadn’t wanted it. He'd never wavered in his steadfast support.
"Do you mind if I talk to your...mother alone?" Garnet asked softly.
"So, she really is my mother?"
"I am." Mertie cut in, taking a step and reaching a hand out to touch Dabney's arm. She didn't pull away. "I am, and I have so much to talk to you about, but the most important thing I want to make sure you know is that I loved you so much and wanted the very best for you. I didn't think I could give that to you."
When her hand touched Dabney's arm, Dabney looked up, and as tears filled her eyes, Dabney moved closer before throwing her arms around her.
"That's what Dad always said." She squeezed tight and held her for long moments. But then she pulled away, wiping a cheek. "We can talk later?"
"This afternoon. As soon as I talk to your dad."
"He loves you. I could always tell that he did. No one else ever caught his eye."
Dabney looked at her dad for his approval. Mertie noticed his cheeks had reddened, but he nodded.
"Let me talk to her." He ruffled Dabney's hair, and she laughed and pulled away, turning to continue down the sidewalk without them.
Mertie waited for her to walk out of earshot before she asked, "Is that true?"
His gaze shot to hers and his eyes widened. But he didn't ask what she was talking about.
He shifted, shoving his hand in his pocket as his jaw muscle twitched in and out.
"Yes. It's true."