Chapter 25
Seamus
One good thing about moving into Alina’s place is that she’s got a really nice guest bedroom.
Comfortable mattress. Clean sheets. Decent pillows. I get the feeling she spent a fortune furnishing it, but nobody ever stays over.
At least until me.
Everything else is a downside.
This apartment is a constant reminder of our relationship and how it’s not progressing anymore.
I keep thinking about Molchanie, my family, the danger we’re all in.
And how even though there’s a clear and simple solution to my problem, I don’t want to go that way yet.
It would mean losing Alina, and that’s not an outcome I want to accept.
Instead, I stare at the ceiling, unable to sleep. It’s close to midnight, and I need rest if I’m going to be at my best. I need all the strength I can get right now.
In normal times, back before I got married, sleep came like pulling on a pair of comfortable pants. I’d lie down on the bed, close my eyes, and wake up exactly when I wanted to, hours later, feeling refreshed and ready to go.
Nothing held me down. Nothing kept me awake.
My head was clean and my mind was pure.
No attachments mean nothing can pin me down.
Now I’m a mess. I’ve got a dozen worries all fighting for space in my dreams. When I close my eyes, I keep seeing my mother with her throat cut, or my father with his head blown off, or one of my brothers bleeding out in the street.
Or I see Alina screaming as she’s torn from my arms.
Putting distance between us doesn’t help. The more I try to act like I don’t care about her, the more it becomes obvious just how much I do. It’s a nightmare. I want to go back to my old self, floating through the days like lint in the breeze, but I’m not that man anymore.
Thanks to my wife.
There’s a creak in the hallway. It’s a small noise. The sort of thing that wouldn’t have bothered me before Alina. But now it makes me sit straight up.
My gun’s in my hand before I even realize what I’m doing.
Shirtless, wearing just a pair of boxer briefs, I steal across the room and pause at the door, listening. I’m on red alert and I feel like an idiot. All because something went bump in the night, and here I am reacting like the world’s going to end.
I’m about to give up and go back to bed when I hear it again.
Another creak.
Someone’s out there in the hallway. My heart quickens as adrenaline flushes into my system. I get the sense Molchanie doesn’t want to hurt Alina, but I can’t be sure about that.
The assassin could’ve changed her mind.
I kick open the door and charge into the hall. I ram my shoulder against the far wall, gun up, ready to squeeze the trigger.
Alina shrieks and stumbles back away from me, arms pinwheeling in the air. “It’s me! It’s me!”
I bite back a whole lot of curses as I lower my weapon, making sure my finger’s off the trigger. “Alina? What the hell are you doing?”
“Oh my god, what am I doing?! What are you doing?! You scared the shit out of me!”
“You’re lurking outside my door in the middle of the night.”
“You’re storming out into the hall in your underwear with a freaking gun. Who do you think is crazier in this situation?”
“I’d say it’s a draw.”
“I’d say you’ve lost your mind.” She paces back and forth, fanning her face. “Oh my god, I feel like my heart’s going to explode.”
“Come here.” I shove my gun into my waistband and help her into my room. I sit her down on the edge of the bed and go get her a glass of water.
She accepts it gratefully. “Would you put that gun away? You’re going to blow your dick off.”
“That’d be a great loss for women everywhere.”
“Oh, yeah? Women everywhere? I wonder how your wife would feel hearing that.”
I grin sheepishly and place the gun back onto the end table. “Fair point. I guess it’s just a loss for her.”
“Not like she’s getting much benefit from it right now.” She sighs and puts the glass on top of my bureau. “Well, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep now.”
I study her carefully. She’s in a pair of pajama bottoms and one of those silky tops I love so much. It clings to her body, draping over her curves, making the swell of her breasts outlined in the soft fabric.
“Want to talk about what you were doing out in the hallway in the middle of the night?”
“Not really.” She looks down at the floor. “Probably better if we just moved on with our lives.”
“What were you doing, Alina?”
She hesitates. I want to say more. I don’t want to move on with my life. That’s the whole problem. But I keep my mouth shut. That’s the opposite of what I’m trying to do. The more distance I put between us, the safer she’ll be.
“Finn was spying on me again today. Did you know about that?”
I tilt my head slightly. “No, I didn’t. And you were standing outside my room so you could tattle on my brother?”
“He said something to me.” She sits back down on the edge of the bed, clearly fighting not to look in my direction. I’m aware of how close to being totally naked I am, and I drift closer to her.
“What’d he say?”
“First, he nearly hit me with his car.”
My eyes narrow. “I’m guessing not on purpose.”
“It was my fault, honestly. But after we got past that, he said he was just looking out for me and that I shouldn’t give up on you.”
Frustration swells in my chest. Fucking Finn poking his nose where it doesn’t belong. I’m trying not to feel anything for Alina while he’s going around telling her this stupid crap.
“I don’t even know what that means,” I say with a gentle snarl.
“You’ve been weird lately. Don’t pretend like you haven’t been.”
I say nothing. What’s there to tell her? She’s absolutely right, and I’m not about to lie to her face.
She looks at me and blows a breath from her cheeks. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You have nothing to say like always.” She stands, shaking her head. “Sorry, this was such a stupid mistake. You can go back to bed. I’ll be fine.”
She moves to the door, and something inside of me cracks. Some resolve splinters, and I’m walking after her. I should be light as a feather right now. I should be drifting along without a care or an attachment in sight. Instead, I’m an anchor, and she’s my ocean, or some shit like that.
I catch her wrist. “Wait,” I say, not really sure where I want this to go or what’s about to happen, but it’s the touch that does it.
The feel of her skin melts something.
Breaks it in half, more like.
Physically, violently.
She looks back at me, and her expression is pleading. It kills me, the desperation in her eyes.
“What did Molchanie say to you?” she whispers.
“She threatened my family.”
Her expression softens. “Oh, Seamus. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“How would you?”
“But why are you pulling away from me?” Her face screws up in confusion. Then she looks at me in surprise. “She threatened them because of me, didn’t she?”
I nod slowly. “She told me that if I don’t leave you, she’ll kill someone I care about. She gave me a week. That was three days ago.”
Her face goes pale. “What are you going to do?”
“I didn’t plan on telling you.”
“Seamus. This is serious. We have to do something. We have to—”
I pull her tight against me. She stares in shock as my grip holds her hips fast. I don’t release her when she tugs back. Instead, I snake one hand into her hair.
“I’m not leaving you.”
She looks confused and hurt. “But your family. If we don’t—”
“They’ll just marry you to someone else.”
“Is this why you’ve been so distant?”
“It’s safer for you if I make Molchanie think I’m doing what she wants.”
Understanding blossoms in Alina’s expression, followed by a grimace of pain. “I can’t let someone get killed because of me. There’s got to be a way out of this. Who is she? What does she even care if we’re married?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not stepping aside.” The conviction comes over me like a wave. Maybe it’s the feeling of her body against mine. Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at me, horrified and scared, but also like I can fix this.
Like despite everything, she trusts me.
I stoop down and brush my lips against hers. She makes a soft whimper as I press them harder and kiss her, fully and deeply, until I’m gripping her hair tight and dominating her mouth with mine.
This isn’t how I saw tonight going.
But it’s what I need. It’s what I think she needs too.
She moans into my kiss as I pull her to the bed, roughly taking off her pajama top and tossing it aside.
She’s bare underneath, and I palm her breasts, kissing her neck and down to her stiff nipples as I draw her down beneath me.
She squirms and groans. I snarl and unleash myself on her.
I kiss her, tongue taking her mouth, as my fingers slip down between her legs.
She gasps, arching as I tease her wet slit, rolling around her clit before spreading her slightly, easing her apart.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
It’s the opposite of putting distance between us.
But now that I have her smell, her taste, her noises in my head, I can’t stop.
I rip her panties off, and she’s moaning as I kiss her inner thigh. My tongue stiffens, and I glide it up along her slit, tasting her and groaning with pleasure as she arches into me, gasping for air.
“Seamus, wait,” she says, gripping my hair. I look up and stare into her eyes. Her breasts rise and shake with each hard breath she draws in. “I can’t… I don’t want to be a problem…”
“You’re not.” I kiss the top of her pussy lightly. “You’re far from a problem.”
“She’s going to kill someone.”
“That isn’t your fault.” I kiss lower. “I shouldn’t have pulled away.” I kiss again, tasting her as my tongue slips forward, lapping her up. “That was a mistake.”
“It was annoying,” she says, breathing fast again.
“You missed this.”
“Don’t flatter your—” She moans, arching as my fingers slide into her and my mouth sucks her clit. “Oh, fuck, okay, yeah, I missed this.”
I grin and lick her and suck her, fingers sliding in and out.
I could stay right here in bed and taste her all night long.
I could live with her moans until the day I died.
Nothing’s better than this, than making my beautiful little wife gasp and come apart.
It’s the most incredible sight in the world.
But I’m crazy with how bad I want her. I’m so hard it hurts.
My dick’s aching and sore, begging to feel the inside of her tight pussy again.
I draw her close, getting her right against the edge, teasing and pushing, licking and sucking, fingers sliding in and hitting that good spot, and when her cheeks are flushed and her chest is pink, I pull back.
“Why?” she gasps, eyes wide with need. “What? Don’t stop!”
I pull off my boxer briefs, spit into my hand, and stroke my cock. I moisten the tip of my dick before pinning her back down.
“I didn’t say I was done with you,” I murmur in her ear, rubbing myself against her soaking wet pussy, glazing myself with her wetness. “I’m far from it, but I couldn’t wait anymore.”
I sink myself into my wife. It’s goddamn bliss. She arches, gasping, and kisses me. I bite her lower lip and hold her hands above her head as I fill her to the brim, fucking her deep, taking her again and again with hard strokes. She grinds back, begging me to keep going.
“I never should’ve tried to stay away. I’ve been thinking about this every night. I hate sleeping in this fucking bed.”
“This bed… is pretty good… right now.”
“It’s perfect.” I thrust deep, filling her to the brim. Her eyes roll back and she lets out a low moan. “You—Are—Perfect.” I punctuate each word with another thrust. “And You—Are—All—Mine.”
I fuck her deep and don’t stop. I stroke in and out and in again, grinding and thrusting to her rhythm, driving her closer and closer.
She’s mewling and gasping, dancing right on the edge of bliss and breaking, and I can’t hold myself back anymore.
I grip her wrists harder, thrust fast and rough, begging her to come for me.
She arches as her eyes roll back again. This time, her mouth opens wide, and she shatters like glass.
It’s so incredible. Her pussy clenches down, warm and tight, and I can’t handle seeing her like this.
I growl my bliss as I release myself between her legs, thrusting and fucking her through her orgasm and my own, and we come together in a sweaty, beautiful heap.
When it’s done, I hold her in my arms. The sheets are a wreck.
“You should creep outside my door more often,” I murmur into her hair.
She wiggles her ass against my still-hard dick. “I wasn’t creeping.”
“You were lurking.”
“Better than acting like Rambo. You could’ve shot me.”
“Never.” I kiss her neck. “I’m always in control.”
“Doubt that,” she mutters, smiling to herself. “And anyway, I won’t be lurking anymore, right?”
“Why’s that?”
“Because, you know—” She frowns a little and her cheeks turn red. “I mean, I’m just saying—”
“You think I’m coming back to your bed.”
She turns crimson. “Well, why wouldn’t you?” She turns around, arms crossed over her breasts. “Or was this just some stupid one-night mistake and now you’re regretting it? Because being near me is dangerous and I’m going to get your family killed? Oh, God—”
I pull her against me again and kiss her. I hold her like that before pulling back. “I’m teasing. I’m coming back to bed.”
“Okay. Good.” She goes limp against my chest. “You better.”
“Sure you can handle my mess?”
“I’m positive, because you are going to be better about picking up after yourself.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” She wriggles tighter against me, searching for comfort. She acts all hard and difficult, with her obsession and her neatness, but under all that, she’s just a soft little kitten. “Now quit messing with me. It’s been a hard night already.”
“Alright, baby.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. No more teasing.” I kiss her again. “Let’s just stay here for a while.”
“Works for me.”