Chapter 26 Caroline
CAROLINE
“Idon’t know how you idiots do this,” I grumble to myself. I hunch down lower in the driver’s seat of a plain black BMW I borrowed from my husband’s fleet of cars. He won’t notice it’s gone and he wouldn’t care either way. “Come on, Liam. Do something!”
I’ve been sitting outside that same dive from two days earlier for hours now, ever since it was light out.
I know Liam’s inside because I saw him get dropped off from an Uber a little after sunset.
Now it’s full-on night, getting close to one in the morning, and I’m exhausted.
My back aches, my legs are itchy, and I peed on the sidewalk like a freaking animal when nobody was around after struggling to hold it like a crazy person.
This isn’t fun.
I thought following Liam would be easy. Stay far back so he doesn’t notice, creep around after him, and figure out what I need to know. Since my husband isn’t being helpful, I figure I’ll take care of it myself.
But this stinks. He’s just in there doing god knows what. Probably drinking and having a great time with easy access to a toilet while I’m in this stinky car feeling miserable.
A part of me wonders if Finn’s right. Maybe it’s better if we back off and wait a while. I don’t want to get caught just because I’m impatient and can’t wait a few more months. I have the argument with myself over and over, and each time I come to the same conclusion: I’m a freaking shark, baby.
If I stop swimming, I’m donezo.
At around one-thirty, Liam appears outside.
He pauses, looks around, and stares down at his phone.
I resist the urge to perk up. He might notice any sudden movements.
Instead, I stay where I am, shifted down low behind the steering wheel.
After a few more minutes, another Uber pulls up and Liam climbs into the back.
I follow it. There’s no way Liam’s going to notice as the passenger and I doubt the driver’s paying any attention. We snake our way through the side streets, heading toward Queens. It takes forever, but eventually the Uber stops and Liam gets out in front of a shady, crumbling row of houses.
I roll past, heart racing. I doubt he saw me, but there was an instant where I was right next to him. I go around the block, confused about what the heck is going on.
Why would Liam want to be in this place in the middle of the night? There’s nothing around here but residential streets, a few bodegas, shady daycares, stuff like that. Am I about to witness a drug deal or something? Knowing my husband, that’s extremely possible.
I park the car around the corner and hustle out. I try to be subtle and quiet, but everything’s terrifying. I flinch at shadows and my heart races up into my throat as I slowly stroll onto the street where I last saw Liam, doing my best to be casual about it.
There’s nothing here. Most of the buildings are abandoned, and the ones that aren’t have thick metal bars over the windows. I frown, looking around, searching for where he could have gone—
“Hey, Caroline. You’re fucking terrible at this.”
I yelp and whirl around. Liam’s leaning against a stoop, casually puffing on a small cigarillo. He gets it going and grins at me.
“Holy shit, you scared me.”
“Good.” He blows out smoke. “Come on.”
“Wait, where are you going?”
But he’s already walking back the way I came. I curse to myself, but what else can I do? I have no idea where I am or why we’re out here. I’m forced to follow him down the block, hurrying to catch up.
“That thing stinks,” I comment as he keeps smoking his cigarillo.
“Bad habit,” he admits, glancing at me sidelong. “Keep moving. Don’t look back.”
“What are we doing here, Liam?”
“I know what I’m doing here, but I have no clue why you thought staking me out was a good idea.”
I nearly trip over my own feet. “You knew I was watching?”
“The whole time. I got a particular bit of pleasure when you were forced to take a piss—”
“You saw that?!”
“Not up close, relax. Finn would cut my throat.” He chuckles and takes a puff.
I take a second to compose myself. I’m mortified, but I can’t let that derail me. “What are we doing here though? You brought me out this way for a reason, didn’t you?”
He shrugs, his enigmatic smile lit up by the glow from his cigarillo. “I thought I’d reward you for your patience.”
“By getting me mugged and murdered?”
“Nah, don’t worry, it’s not that bad.” He frowns slightly. “They’d probably just murder you and skip the mugging.”
“Liam.”
He slows his pace once we’re a couple blocks away from where I parked my car. “Those houses back there aren’t as bad as they look from the outside. From what I’ve heard, the interiors are actually pretty nice. Rumors say a bunch of high rollers like to gather in there for big poker games.”
My heart skips a beat. “High rollers like my brother?”
“Could be.” He drops the end of his cigarillo and stomps it out. “I’m quitting. Seriously, that’s the last one.”
“Why are you showing me this on purpose? You have to know Finn doesn’t want me here.”
Liam’s smile gets bigger as a car door opens nearby.
I nearly scream when Finn climbs out.
He stands on the curb staring at me in black jeans and a black shirt.
My husband looks like a beautiful, pissed-off, vengeful god.
My pulse rockets erratically, and for the first time, I’m genuinely afraid.
I’ve never gone out of my way to disobey him like this before, and I know I’ve crossed a line.
“Sorry, but now you know where my loyalties lie, at least,” Liam mutters and starts to walk away.
“Where are you going?” I stare at him in a panic. “You could at least witness my murder.”
He laughs and Finn only sighs.
“My wife’s so dramatic.” He comes to me slowly, a considering look on his face. His hands are shoved into his pockets. “I’ll give you this. You really are determined.”
“I don’t know when to quit.” I glare at him, doing my best to mask my fear with false bravado. It’s probably just making me look even more scared.
“That’s very true.” He stops a few feet away. “This is the first and last time you do something stupid. Do you understand me, Caroline?”
Real anger simmers in my chest. “You don’t get to order me around.”
“Maybe not, but you’re going to listen anyway.” His body seems to vibrate with intensity. “No more risks. No more putting yourself in danger. We play this my way, and my way means you stay at home. Understand?”
“We have an opportunity.” I’m not backing down.
He wants to make me hang my head and cry, but that’s not going to happen.
Screw him and this stupid little show he’s putting on.
“Look at that place back there. Assuming it’s even the real location.
” I glance at where Liam’s lingering nearby.
He shrugs and that’s all the assent I need.
“This can work. You and Liam wear masks. You break in and act like you’re robbing the place.
But something goes wrong, you kill Dermot by mistake.
It looks real because it is real, and nobody knows that it was you two who did it.
I don’t have to be inside at all for the dangerous stuff.
” Although a part of me wishes I could be, but I know when to cut my losses.
I look over at Liam. “Tell me that wouldn’t work. ”
Liam shrugs thoughtfully. “It’s a good idea, actually.”
“No.” Finn glares at me. “We’re waiting.”
“When’s another chance like this going to come around? Dermot’s a recluse. He barely goes out. If we don’t strike now while we can, you really think we’ll stumble into another opportunity this good?”
Finn’s jaw works. “There will be other times.”
“You hate him too. You probably hate him as much as I do. This is our shot, Finn. You and Liam can do it.”
He glances at his lieutenant who’s casually grinning like this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen.
For a second, I think Finn’s going to give in.
He knows it’s a good idea. There’s definitely some risk involved for the two of them, but if they’re fast and careful, they could pull it off without getting caught.
Make it look like a botched robbery. My family will be devastated. It’ll be fantastic.
“Get in the car,” Finn says finally.
“No. I don’t want to. I drove here.”
“Liam will take care of that. Get in my car right now, Caroline.”
“Finn—”
He snarls and takes me by the hand. I let out a surprised yelp at the intensity of his grip. He drags me to his vehicle as I glance over my shoulder. Liam’s already walking away and lighting another one of his cigarillos.
The back seat is dark. There’s nobody up front. I expect Finn to get behind the wheel, but instead he gets in with me. There’s no light around here, no street lamps, no windows, no stores open late. I’m breathing hard as my big husband moves forward, pinning me against the far door.
“You’re going to get us killed,” he whispers, his mouth inches from my neck. I’m shivering all over from fear and a heady, overwhelming desire.
“That was always a distinct outcome. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, right? Another dead Flanagan?”
He sighs, lips brushing my neck. “When this started, I might’ve told myself that. Who cares if you get hurt? You’re one of them.”
“You don’t sound like you believe that anymore.”
“Because I don’t.”
“Why? Did you grow fond of me, Finn?”
“Yes. More than I wanted.”
A thrill hits me in the core. I stare at his eyes in the darkness and I’m so scared, but not because I think he’s going to hurt me.
It’s this need burning in my guts.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” I whisper, my fingers running through his hair. He lets out a soft, snarling groan, and it nearly breaks me right then and there.
“You know why.”
“Tell me.”
“I’m bad for you, Caroline. I’m dragging you down an ugly road, and you’re liking it.”
“You’re not doing that to me.”
“I’m destroying you.”
“Didn’t you stop to think maybe I was like this before you came around?”
He’s breathing heavily. I am too. Our chests rise and fall together. He touches my face, fingers cupping my cheek, digging into my neck. I turn into his palm, wanting more of him.
“It’s not too late to stop.”
“I want to finish what we started.”
“Even if it ruins us?”
“It won’t.”
“You can’t be sure.”
“I want to find out.” I tighten my grip on his hair. My other hand tugs at his belt, pulling him closer. His hips press into mine, and I let out a soft, satisfied whimper. “I’m fond of you too, you know. That’s why I’m so mad you’ve been avoiding me.”
“If I stop, will you back off?”
“Probably not.”
He chuckles and nips at my lower lip. “Liam likes your plan.”
“What do you think?”
“I think it could work, which is the problem. It’s too soon.”
“We have to try.”
He looks at me and for a split second, there’s a painful yearning in his face, like he wishes that weren’t true, but he’s as fucked up as I am and he can’t resist either.
His mouth finds mine. It’s a hungry, angry kiss.
I return it just as enraged. We tear at each other, all our frustration and desire overflowing as he kisses my neck, pulls up my shirt and bra, licks my breasts, roughly taking off my jeans.
I lift my hips to help and when he palms my pussy, I nearly shatter.
Slowly, he strokes me. I’m so wet. His fingers flick over my pussy before driving deep inside, sending a pulse of bliss and pain straight into my brainstem. I kiss him hard, moaning into his mouth as he fucks me with his fingers, pushing them in further.
“You are going to be the death of me and I’m going to thank you when it’s over,” he whispers, fingers curling inside of me. I spread my legs as best I can in the cramped back seat.
“No… nobody’s dying… just my brothers.” I arch, gasping as he grazes my clit and sucks on my nipples. “We can do this.”
“I’m afraid you’re right.” He stares at me, despondent and needy, and it’s the most beautiful expression I’ve ever seen. I slam my mouth to his and kiss him fiercely, roughly unbuckling his belt, tugging at his jeans until I have his cock in my hands.
He snarls as he hunches forward, glazing his cock with my wetness, teasing me, our foreheads pressed together. “Fuck me, Finn,” I beg, pulling at his hips, wiggling closer. “I need it.”
“I need it too. That’s the problem.”
“I’m right here. Fill me. Fuck me. Please, Finn.”
“Shit, Caroline,” he moans and thrusts forward, slipping his big cock deep between my legs.
I moan, a wide smile on my face as he fills me.
God, yes, this is what I wanted. He gives me all of him, every thick inch, every painful thrust. He’s rough and groaning, and his bliss-filled moans and growls make my head dizzy.
He wants me as much as I want him. He’s losing his mind, just like I am.
Except we’re on opposite paths. I’m falling down from a big black sky—while he’s dragging himself up from the depths of hell to meet me.
I’m afraid that if we miss, if we cross at the wrong moment, we’ll lose each other.
But when he moves back, his thumb on my lip, I don’t care about any of that.
There’s only him fucking me, and me sucking on his fingers, and his whispers of pleasure and begging and praise.
“You feel so fucking good, Caroline,” he says, a tremble in his voice that nearly kills me.
“God, I don’t know how long I can take this. ”
“No more hiding.” I grind into him, needy and desperate as the pleasure builds. “Come home, Finn.”
“Fuck, baby. I’m right here.” He fills me, deep and hard. “I’m right fucking here.”
I can’t take it anymore. I grind tighter as the orgasm washes over me.
I break, my triggers pulled, and I’m gasping as I come so hard my skin flushes pink and my vision tunnels.
He keeps going, ruthlessly fucking me, going harder and harder, the car rocking and the windows fogged, until I feel him stiffen and come inside me.
Fuck, it feels so good. I pant and try to get enough air. He kisses me, biting my lips, tasting me, devouring me. I stretch my arms up with a silly, stupid, heady grin.
“I should come out to Queens more often,” I say, smirking like an idiot.
And Finn laughs. It’s not one of his fake laughs, but something real from deep inside his chest. I love that sound.
He’s light and bright, glowing and happy.
I hug myself to his strong body, and I think we can do this.
I think that if we stick together, we can pull this off, and afterward?
I don’t know what’ll come next. I don’t think I care anymore.
So long as we’re doing it together.