CHAPTER 15
RHODES
I turn as I start my espresso machine to find Helen standing there with wide eyes. She looks around, a little closer than she did last night. The espresso machine. The two syrups next to it. The drizzle bottle of caramel.
And it’s right next to the coffee machine G-Bets insisted I take with me when I moved out of her house. Yes, it still works and it makes a cup of coffee which tastes like home. I’ve become obsessive about cleaning it and taking care of it. I don’t know what I’ll do if it ever fritzes out.
It’s possible I would cry.
And I’m positive coffee would never taste the same again.
“Is that flavor syrup?” The surprise and confusion in her voice is adorable.
“Vanilla and Almond. Right?”
Helen blinks at me a few times. “Am I still asleep?”
She looks around furtively like she’s peering through the looking glass while expecting someone to jump out of nowhere and tell her it’s all a joke. But it’s no fucking joke. Helen deserves to be treated like a fucking queen.
I’m more than willing to give up a little bit of counter space to ensure she can get the perfect coffee right here. The bonus is getting a few more minutes with her.
“I think I’ve had this dream before,” she whispers out of one side of her mouth.
I bark out a laugh before stalking toward her. Her brown eyes meet mine and widen as she stumbles back a step, but she’s not fast enough. One hand shoots out and tangles in her hair, holding her in place. My other hand grips her hip, and my fingers dig into her soft curve there.
“You’re not dreaming, Sweetheart.”
Her pink lips curl into a shy smile. The expression on her face is all innocence and hope.
“I’m not sure,” her voice is suspicious. “You like your coffee black. I remember from Uncommon Grounds.”
“I do,” I agree.
“But you have the two flavor syrups I like along with the caramel for a drizzle. I can’t see why you would have them, unless this is a dream,” her voice has a distant quality, like she’s dazed.
Her gaze snaps to mine, the faraway look in her eyes evaporating. She’s looking at me like she’s seeing me for the first time. It makes me want to squirm. But I’m the fucking sheriff and I’m not going to be taken down by this pint-sized woman even though it’s clear I’m wrapped around her finger.
“Why?”
“Now,” I drawl, my hand coming up and cupping her cheek, “that is the right question to ask.”
She swallows hard, her eyes dancing with curiosity and excitement. “Are you going to keep being cryptic, Sheriff, or are you going to spill?”
I chuckle and kiss her softly. The gasp that comes out of her is so damn sweet. As much as I want to devour her, I keep the kiss soft and quick. Fuck, it’s over far too quick.
When I lead her over to one of the stools on the island, she perches there and watches me with interest as I make her an iced latte. When she takes a sip and her eyes slide closed while letting out a sound of contentment that goes straight to my dick, pure satisfaction riots through me.
I did that. I took care of her.
Her eyes open and lock with mine. The pink color on her cheeks makes me grin. “It’s perfect,” she breathes out.
I nod once and lean closer to her. “I got those things for you. If you stick around in the morning and have coffee with me, I have a few more minutes I get to enjoy you before the day’s responsibilities and expectations demand my attention.”
“Okay,” she murmurs. “That sounds like a big commitment.”
She looks confused, not like she’s fishing for a compliment or reassurance. I’m not surprised she doesn’t fully understand.
From everything Helen has told me, she’s not used to anyone putting her first, even the people who should have. She’s been conditioned to believe she has to hold everyone else together, while hiding how she’s being held together by duct tape and hope.
Now I’m in her life and she’ll never have to struggle to keep everything from going off the rails. No more. I’m going to stand between my woman and the expectations she hasn’t earned and shouldn’t be responsible for.
“It’s not,” I tell her fiercely, “it’s the most natural thing I’ve done. Thinking about you, considering you, and making space in my life for you feels easy and like this is how it was always supposed to be.”
Helen blinks at me a few times. The shy smile that lifts her lips is perfectly sweet. I close the distance between us and kiss her softly.
“You’re mine, Helen,” my voice is fierce.
“I like being yours,” she whispers the words like they’re a confession she isn’t sure about making.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her gently against my chest. She rests her head there and something clicks into place. This.
This is what I want. I want her in my arms, in my home, in my life. And I don’t want to ever let her go. How can I get her to agree to move in here with me? How long am I going to have to wait?
The absolute last thing I want to do is wait for her to move in with me. Waiting sounds like fucking torture.
“You just have work today?” I eye her as she pulls away and leans against the counter. “Anything else on the agenda?”
“I don’t think so,” there’s a hint of sass in her tone which has my cock perking up and taking notice. “Why? Are you considering adding something to my calendar?”
Anytime I’m around her I’m half hard all the time. It’s just what she does to me. It’s uncomfortable, and slightly embarrassing, but it is what it is.
I chuckle and watch while she takes another drink of her coffee. Not puffing my chest up with pride is more difficult than it should be. I’m aware it’s just coffee, but it feels like I’m providing something for her.
And I made sure it’s just how she likes it.
When she glances at the clock, she lets out a low groan. There’s reluctance in her voice when she admits, “I need to get ready for the day. It’ll take me longer to get into work today.”
“Okay,” I croak, trying to hold back all the words I want to say.
Like how the last thing I want is to see her go.
Or how much I crave for her to be close enough to touch at all times.
“Can we make plans?” My question is filled with vulnerability, but I’m okay with it.
“I won’t be able to go long without seeing you. ”
Her brown eyes twinkle. This time she closes the distance between us. When she kisses the underside of my jaw, I’m fucking done for. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I’m never letting her go.
“How about you text me later?” She studies my face as she asks the question.
I nod without hesitation. If she’s testing me that’s completely fine. She hasn’t been able to rely on anyone else for a long time; if she feels the need to test me and whether I’m going to follow through with what I say, then I can’t really blame her.
When she pulls away from me, she carries her coffee with her toward my room which is where her bag is waiting for her. As much as I want to follow her, and pull her back into bed, I know I can’t. Not today.
I need to head into the station as well. Even though the last thing I want is to watch Helen drive away from me, today is not the day to ask her to move in here with me. I’m also not stupid enough to ask her to quit her job, even though it’s clear she hates it.
There’s more work for me to do with her. I’m going to make her comfortable here, so she never wants to leave. I’m going to get her to fall in love with me and then I’ll make her happy for the rest of my life.
I’m in a shit mood by the time I walk into work. Saying goodbye to Helen was as awful as I imagined it was going to be. It felt like my heart was in the passenger seat of her car as she drove away. Even now, I can feel the tendril of our connection stretching out across the miles between us.
I rub my chest absently while my heavy steps lead me farther from my woman. I already know the ache there won’t be disappearing anytime soon. Probably not until I have my woman in my arms again.
“Oh,” Carla’s voice is sly in a way which makes me instantly wary, “good morning, Sheriff.”
“Good morning, Carla,” I don’t even try to hide the suspicion in my tone. She’s up to something; I just don’t know what it is. Yet.
The intense way she’s studying me has me scrunching up my face and crossing my arms across my chest. I don’t even care if it makes me look defensive. Carla loves being in on the gossip and I’m sure there is plenty of it going around Sweetwater Valley about me at the moment.
I’m not interested in adding to it.
But that’s not going to stop Carla from saying something. It never has before.
I let out a sigh, on edge because I already miss Helen.
I know it’s a little silly considering I just saw her, but I don’t really care right now.
The idea of her driving back to Dogwood Ridge and then going to work makes me skin crawl.
Everything in me is screaming at me to get her closer and keep her there.
Don’t even get me started on her ridiculous decision to go and check out the Old Mill on a fucking whim, and without any backup. When I think about it, it makes me want to rage.
Swallowing down my anger, and my fear, is difficult.
I believe Helen learned her lesson and won’t be putting herself in the same kind of situation again. But what if she does? The thought makes my skin feel too tight.
“Did you have a good weekend?” Carla’s voice is innocent, but I can see the mischief shining in her eyes.
“Yes,” I can hear the hesitancy in my voice to even give her that much information. I force the question out, “How about you?”
“Oh, you know,” her voice is breezy, “just normal stuff. I did laundry and cleaned the house while catching up on my shows.”
“Sounds like a relaxing weekend,” I offer.
With an eager nod, she asks, “What about you? What did you do?” When I arch an eyebrow in question, she rushes out, “I heard you bought double the meat you normally do. Why did you need extra?”
I can’t help but scoff and rest my hands on my hips. “Let me get this straight. People are talking about me because I bought extra meat? No one thought I might just be stocking up my freezer?”
The look Carla gives me tells me just what she thinks of me trying to deflect her curiosity and the rumor mill. It’s not even like I want to deny the time I spent with Helen. That’s the last thing I want because my woman isn’t some dirty little secret and I’m not going to treat her like one.
My shoulders slump and I blow out a breath, “Fine. Yes, I did get extra meat. I had a date.”
“A date?” Carol echoes me as her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.
Her surprise doesn’t come as a shock. I haven’t done much dating in the last few years because I’ve been too busy and, honestly, uninterested. If I needed someone to spend the night with, I went out of my county to find it because I didn’t want to deal with rumor and speculation.
This is different. Helen is different. She’s everything.
“Yes, a date.”
I don’t give her anything more and walk away. I’m sure it’ll only make Carla more determined to get the details because the woman is nosey, but it’s fine. Carla, and everyone else, will find out about the woman who has stolen my heart.
Getting my mind to focus on work isn’t easy, but I manage it. Kind of. Maybe. A little.
I make sure to call Lyons to see if he’s heard anything else about what is going on in McMinn County. The other night I wasn’t able to check the Old Mill out. It’s for the best because making sure my woman was safe was far more important.
Still, now that I’m back at my desk, I’m itching to find out if there have been any more leads that tie back to the Old Mill and if McMinn found anything out there. Lyons doesn’t have the information I’m looking for but promises to let me know if he hears anything.
As much as I want to call over to Hickory and talk to the Sheriff over there directly, I’m not about to stick my nose into an investigation that isn’t any of my business. I’ve let them know we’re available to help. Beyond that, I can’t do a damn thing.
I hate it, but what can I do?
The day passes slowly and by the time lunchtime rolls around, I’m on the edge of being desperate to see my woman. I don’t need a lot of time with her; I just need enough to put my mind at ease.
As much as I try to talk myself into ordering some food and eating at my desk, which would be the smart thing to do considering I’ve barely made a dent in the paperwork piled in front of me, there’s no way I can sit still.
And there is definitely no fucking way I can keep sitting in this building when I could be heading over to Dogwood Ridge to see Helen.
“Why can’t I go?” I mumble the question to myself and then pause.
It’s a damn good question. When I can’t come up with an answer, I stride out of my office.
“Fuck it,” I mutter, “I’m going to see my woman.”
And that’s exactly what I do. Because I need to see her. And there’s nothing standing in my way.